Hi All,
My 18m.o fraternal (girl) twins are driving us around the twist!! They seem to be constantly crying,tantruming,fighting, getting jealous, you name it.. (they have always cried a lot, tantrums started 4mths ago. One is partcularly clingy and goes into full melt down if you ignore her, don't pick her up etc.(esp with Dad!) Unfortunately we have become used to this way of living because I have felt they are too young to try and address it ( we have tried to ignore for a short time or put in their cots for 1minute etc)

Does anyone have any ideas that have worked to start addressing these things...ANY ANY suggestions much appreciated

Thanks, Caroline

I found the age 18months pretty hard going.....they're learning so much new stuff and they get so frustrated so easily....they also learn what works as far as getting attention goes!

I guess the only advice I can offer is maybe give lots of attention/praise when they're not 'turning it on' and try to ignore the other when it happens...I used to step in with lots of praise when the crying/tantrums stopped (even if only for a few seconds!) and say stuff like'that makes mum really happy when you play quietly/dont scream/blah//blah..blah..lots of praise and cuddles for the stuff you want to happen...we found the more we reinforced and comforted the tantrums/biting/hiting/etc the better they became at doing them.

Its a really hard time, but you'll be blown away by the advancements they make over the next year...its such a time of learning for them-speach/independence etc etc..hang in there-it will get better!

Our boys(fraternal) have always fought more than 'play' but they are getting so much better now.....it sort of got to the stage where cam would do something to joel...joel would cry...cam would get yelled at and joel would get comforted....so effectively they BOTH ended getting lots of attention for the behaviour- it encouraged cam to bully and joel to cry (at the drop of a hat!)...we started turning a (bit) of a blind eye to much of the behaviour and it really is settling down.

Caz Joel and Cam at 2 1/2years old-now 3 years old

This message was edited by cmf on Monday, 3 October 2005 @ 9:35 PM

Sorry no advice but I wanted to say you are not alone. I have almost 18 month old twin girls and we have the same issues. One of mine bites the other but it doesn't happen in the reverse and the other one has full on meltdowns.

Yesterday morning Katherine screamed and I mean really screamed for 40 minutes at breakfast time. I tried cereal, porrige, yogurt, letting her feed herself anything at all to stop the screaming. At some points I just had to let her scream because nothing I did seemed to work. After 40 minutes Dh pipes up and says I bet you she wants a tic toc biscuit. I'm thinking no way we never have biscuits for breakfast and after 40 minutes and by now wanting to strangle her I gave her a tic toc and sure enough she calmed down. Great now we are have tantrums about food, tic tocs are now only going to be a reward for very good behaviour.

Take care,
Mel

DD's Katherine & Rebecca
<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://lilypie.com/baby2/040416/3/14/1/+10" alt="Lilypie Baby Ticker" border="0" /></a>

This message was edited by Speary on Tuesday, 4 October 2005 @ 12:53 PM

Hi Caroline
I have 17 month old twins. I have an older daughter, so I am finding it a little easier second time around. I found a book that really helped me, was by a bloke called (from memory) Burton White, called "How to Raise a Happy, Unspoiled Child." Obviously it's not aimed at multiples, but I found his strategies to be really helpful to me both with my daugher and my boys. I just borrowed it from the local library.
All the best
Mim

LOL Mel, I stopped buying tic tocs for the very same reason! In the end I decided it was just easier not to have them in the house at all. Shame, I rather liked them

If it helps any Caroline, my CHN told me that most kids go through another period of seperation anxiety at 18mo. It did my head in, but at least I knew it was "normal" behaviour. I tried as much as I could not to pick my clingy girl up when she was whining. I would give her a little cuddle on the floor or couch, or hold her hand and take her with me to whatever I was doing but not pick her up. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not - probably because I still gave in a fair amount of the time just to stop the noise I did resort to putting her in her cot for a minute every now and then - more to give me a chance to regroup than anything. After a minute, I would get her out, give her a big cuddle and then we would go back to what we were doing with all forgiven. At the very least it gives you a chance to calm down and tackle the problem with a level head again.

She did eventually grow out of it (probably after about a month from memory). When all else fails, repeat this phrase "This too shall pass".

Personally I find tantrums far easier to deal with than the whining. At least with a tantrum you get some entertainment value!

If you find something that works, please post it. My 2 have passed that stage now, but have moved on to new and equally irritating behaviour - 2 year old tantrums (they go up a notch in volume) and fighting with each other :gasp:

Nicolie
DDs Paige & Hannah (23/09/03)