I'm finding it a nightmare. People want to compare my girls all the time. They even do it in front of them. Grrrr

Today while out with a few of the children from the girls class one of my girls acted up so two of other children felt the need to tell her that is why they prefer her twin sister.

One of the mothers feels she can tell me which one she prefers! I find this hurtful, and now, tonight I'm fuming over it.

I really feel angry and hurt tonight. I really didn't think school would bring about so many issues and so many b*tchy mothers. School is destroying one of my twins confidence.

Thanks for listening

OMG that is awful! I hope you have said something to the school and to the parents.

I am dreading sending them to school for that reason.

Preschool has been good, except their teacher cannot tell them apart. All the assistamts can but she can't?? I tend to think it's laziness. I dress them in different colours and they have quite different personalities.

Oh well I hope your two have a better time at school in the future.


Jo, Mummy to Cameron and Joshua 21/06/01

Oh Ava that would have me fuming too. It reminded me of when I was a teacher- I taught many sets of twins- and with one set of twin girls in particular some kids would commment that "she's the pretty one and she's the clever one". It was really yucky. We had to have lots of class discussions about all our similarities and differences etc, about individuality and not judging others etc.

The twin girls eventually asked for separate classes when they were older- I'm not sure if it was specifically because of being compared but I have a feeling it was. They were very different (naturally) and wanted to be accepted as individuals. This will be on my mind when my boys start school. They don't look alike so I hope they will just be viewed as different individuals.

Have you discussed this with your girls' teacher? I hope everyone starts to get the message soon that they are both special individuals and need to be treated as such!

Maycee

Maycee (35)
DH (33)
Twin boys (4/12/01)
DD (7/10/03)

Maycee, as you're a teacher, how do I approach the girls teacher and what can I suggest if anything? The teacher is a good teacher, and tells me she can tell them apart, even though DT2 says she can't.

I never ever would have guessed this would be such a problem. If the girls school had two classes for each year than they would be seperated by now.

I don't know why parents think it's fine to tell me who is thier 'flavour of the month' out of my girls yet I hear it over and over.

JO, do your boys start school next year or the year after? I hope you have the choice of seperate or same classroom.

Thanks for the responses.

I just don't see how mothers can think it's perfectly alright to tell me which is the best twin for that month when I would never ever think to tell them which one of thier children I prefer. It's hurtful and rude.

Thanks again

Hi Ava, I would suggest asking for a parent/teacher chat. All teachers should be happy to make a time to see parents- and with this issue it's probably best discussed without the kids being there. Tell her your concerns and ask her opinion. She may have seen or heard similar comments- or she may have another perspective. Hopefully together you can come up with some strategies for dealing with this situation. (Gee I've even slipped back into 'teacher-speak'- sorry!) At least you will have put your point across and the teacher will know that you want everyone to see your girls as individuals. Think about what you want to say beforehand and try to be calm, friendly and say positive things as well.
Hope some of this helps,
Maycee

My two won't go to school until they 5 1/2 so 2007.

I am in a bit of a deliemma on where to send them. We live across the railway tracks and then a main road from our village school - BUT DH and I are both teachers at the HS in town. SO we would have to drive them in with us, then put them on a bus back out here, then they would have to catch the bus back into town and meet us at our school. They would definately be in the same class there.My other option is to apply for out of zone enrollment at the school closest to the HS which is also a block (and two roads) away from their current FDC mum. SO we could use before and after school care with her. This school is much larger so they can be in seperate classes if needed.

The village school is such a nice one that it will be a real shame not to send them there. The other school is mainly high income earners and the kids that come to HS from there are such fashion ponies! It scares mr to think of my two under that influence.

Oh well I will continue to think.....

Jo, Mummy to Cameron and Joshua 21/06/01