My family has No MNs at all - apparently thinking of one was hard enough!

My DHs family have always given the father's first name to the sons middle name - so Jack has a son called Dave, he will be Dave Jack, then Dave has a son called Paul he will be Paul Dave and so on throughout history...

So we have always agreed and thought that regardless of how many sons you have they all get Dads name as their MN - my DH is the only boy but his sisters shared a MN, his Dad and brothers all shared the same MN. This makes sense to me - if you have a family tradition that goes from father to son then I think it should go from father to all sons - DH agrees so this isn't our argument, nor will it change our second DS's middle name.

My Mum thinks it is crazy - she thinks just the eldest son should get it and the other son/s should have their own different MNs.

What does everyone think about these kinds of traditions?

FWIW my BIL has a similar tradition but only the eldest son, so his eldest has his MN but his second son does not - he has a different family name.

I've always thought the same middle name for everyone a bit odd, but I also like the idea of the tradition and uniting of family!

There is at least one child in every branch and generation of DH's family that has his grandfather's name as a middle name; it is DH's and DS's.

In my mum's family, only sons got middle names - my sister and I don't have one. But our daughters do - sod that tradition!

i know someone whose family has the same names for the first born son in every generation - they just swap the two about so Dad is (for example) George Arthur, his eldest son is Arthur George, whose eldest son is George Arthur....and so it goes.

PS - Hi Jen, only just noticed who posted!!!

I think each to their own for traditions, if you like and and you're happy with it, then go for it.
I hated mine so I chose not to carry it on. First born girl on my dad's side of the family has always had the middle name Emily I hate it, so I chose not to give it to my DD, but gave her a variation of my first name as her middle name. It wasnt my intention to do so, I really wanted her middle name to be Lee, but there was no way in hell I would name her after MIL and SIL, and the variation of my name was suggested as it is similar to Lee as well.

Personally I think because siblings share a last name, I think a shared middle name is overkill. I like to think of children as individuals with their unique combination of a first name and middle name so my children will have their own first name and middle name but what everyone else does is up to them.
If you and your DH have decided, it really shouldn't matter what your mum thinks. Everyone had different naming tastes


ETA: PS. Congratulations on your little boy!

I think it should just be the eldest and that is what I would do. DDs middle name is the feminine version of DHs name and DS has James as his middle name which has been passed down through the generations of my family. But I definitely wouldn't give them the same.

But in saying all that if that is the tradition in your family and you both agree it is your decision and not your mothers. I would do what you want to do and are happy with.

We wont be changing based on Mum but it actualyl made no sense to me - sort of like we're all royal so the eldest gets the title but no one else!

I'm interested mose agree with Mum - how do non-named after siblings feel if you have this tradition in your family? That's always concerned me - like explaining we have this family tradition but it doesn't apply to you...?

We use family names as middle names.... that way everyone can share.

DS1 got his grandfather's first names, DS2 got his grandfather's middle names. If we had had DS3 we would have used great grandfather's names.

DD has grandmother's middle name and great grandmother's first name.

In your situation I would do it for the eldest, but then for any subsequent children use other family names.

I would give the second son a different middle name, pick another family name perhaps like your dad's name. I would much rather have a non-family middle name than have the same middle name as my sister.

I know of one family where family middle name is given to all boys, but it's an ADDITIONAL middle name so three given names plus surname...I guess that way they could all have dad's name plus their own unique middle name. But it's a lot of names all together!
Personally I think it's nice for each child to have their own unique middle name...I wouldn't be heaps keen on same middle name for all boys...might restrict first name options too if names just don 't sound right with dad's name.
Firstborn son with dad's name seems logical, quite a nice tradition.

My DH's family has the tradition of giving the dad's first name to the first born son as a MN, but not to later sons. My DH is not the first born but he certainly doesn't feel left out, he loves his middle name and has no issues that it went to his oldest brother. If we had had a boy, we were going to continue the tradition of using DH's name as a MN but for the firstborn only. There are too many other great names out there that I want to use to keep using the same MN for all boys.

We have the same kind of thing here, my family didn't give us middle names And I hated not having one so made sure our DD got one!

DH's family give the first born son the father's first name as a middle name. If we have a boy this time we will be doing the same, so he will have DH's name as his middle name. We're not planning on giving future son's DH's name again though, we would probably pick another family name to pass on.

One of my friend's and her sister have the same middle name, and now she has 2 DD's and they both have that same middle name. I prefer them to be different, but each to their own

My family have done similar with the son having the fathers name as a middle name. I always assumed we would do the same but my dh doesnt see the point. He would rather honour his grandpa.

I was just thinking in the last couple of weeks that my brother has my dad's name as his middle name, my sister has my mum's middle name, and mine is just one they thought of. So now I feel like I shouldnt be so worried if we cant decide on a middle name that honours someone, because it never phased me that my middle name wasnt a family name.

Well, given there are cases in my DH's family where siblings have the same first name... Dh has the same first and middle name as 2 of his cousins...

Use whatever traditions you like, there will always be people who don't like them... I know of people who are totally against naming a child after anyone at all!

In DH's family the tradition is to name children after the grandparents first and then if you end up with enough kids you start going through the parent's names and other relatives... In recent generations we've kind of warped it a bit and just named kids after relatives whose names we like, in no order of preference... Some members of the family have chucked the traditions entirely and just named their child whatever they liked... Nobody really seems to mind... Or if they do, they're politely not saying so!

If you're happy to give your kids all the same middle name, by all means do so... In DH's family they are all named after grandfathers and great grandfathers etc... No one thinks one name is better than the others, they all take pride in the relative they are named after and that relative usually takes great pride in the offspring named after them!

My DH's family is from Taiwan. They have an ancient family record that has I think four names (well actually Chinese characters). All boys of the same generation (paternal side) share this character, and it cycles through the generations 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, etc. A given name is made of two characters, so the parents can choose one part of the given name. So boys will share part of their name with their brothers and cousins.

Since we will use the Chinese name for a middle name, I am happy to follow this tradition.

There is a traditional naming system that has been carried down the ages - particularly in Scotland.

The first born son gets his father's first name (as a middle name or as a first name as the choice may be). It was usually the first name. The second son gets the paternal grandfather's name and the third son gets the maternal grandmother's name (in the same pattern - either first or middle name). The first born daughter gets her mother's name as a first or middle name (as the choice may be - was usually the first name), the 2nd gets her paternal grandmother's name and the third gets her maternal grandmother's name in the same pattern. Any other children were also named after family or given a name the parents liked.

I like middle names with family connections but don't follow a strict pattern like this. My DD is named after no-one in the family - we just liked her name and middle name = Amber Rose. My DS1 has a middle name from his grandfather on my side (his first name is just one we liked) = Ethan William, and DS2 is named after his dad - Kaden Andrew - mainly because Andrew doesn't really go that well with Ethan and our boys are twins. I like the middle names to be classic names or more old fashioned I suppose. If the baby due in September is a girl her middle name will be June (named after my Mum who died in 1998). I also like James as a middle name for a boy and it was also my grandfather's first name.

Make your own tradition.

Good luck.

My aunt & uncle's family is bizarre like this. I've changed the names for privacy, but the pattern is the same IRL:

Uncle: Barry Jim
Son 1: Barry Jim
Son 2: Jim Steve
Son 3: Steve Jim

Original, huh?

Oh wow that is strange. In my example, brothers and cousins could be e.g. Yu-chin, Yu-ming, Yu-kong. I find this confusing enough, hehe.

I think traditions are there to be followed / ignored, whichever you prefer!

We have no strict naming traditions in either of our families so while we used family names they were of our choosing.

Within my siblings we all had family middle names except my younger brother. My sister's middle name is my Dad's Mum's middle name, by older brother's middle name is Dad's first name, and my middle name is the same as mum's middle name. Whereas my little brother's middle name is just a name they liked. It never bothered him that I know of! But as you can see, the rest are all family names but not one particular source.

So for our kids, DS has his Grandfather's (DHs side) first name as his middle name, DD1 has my middle name (which is also my mum's middle name) and DD2 has my sister's middle name (which is the same as DD2s Great grandmothers). If DD2 had been a boy s/he would have had my dad's first name for a middle name.

Anyway, I think that if you are happy to continue the tradition then do so.

I wonder if your mum would be so opinionated if it was HER family's traditions you were following???

Lazy, no imagination, family names are a good idea but most families have a few taken from both sides and mix these up.

Also, as a PP mentioned, as a cultural thing it can be an administrative nightmare for services dealing with the family (we get this with Sudanese families at work consisting of up to 10 members, all with variations of the same few names, first names being used as middle and last names, etc.).

In this case I would probably give my kids 2 middle names each. The one that you 'have' to use and another of your chosing.


oops! Edited because you already have one son so probably hard to do that now! LOL.

I think the sentiments of the name being passed down but I think that each person should 'only' be honoured once. I am sure a male member of your family would love to have their incorporated into your son's name.

In my family, the middle name Michael is given to the youngest son (don't know if this was coincidence or not) - my Grandad's and Dad's middle name is now my younger brother's middle name. But I think this tradition is going to die out - I don't think my younger brother will have a family due to health issues with his DF. My older brother (middle name not Michael) had a daughter and 2 step kids - no Michael there. If it comes down to it I'd consider Michael or Michaela as a middle name for my own kids, just to keep it going - even though as my DH says, its not my responsbility as the name wasn't given to me.

Anyway my point is, if its given to all the kids rather than the first born (or whatever) then there's more liklihood that it will continue to be carried on (if that's what you want).

DH being the only boy on his side has his fathers MN.
We have 2 son's, DS1 has DH's grandfathers name as his MN and DS2 has DH's name as his MN. It was done this way purely because it went together better.

My older brother has dad's name as his MN and my younger brother has my 2 grandfathers MN's as his MN.

I personally think it's a bit weird giving multiple children the same MN.

Mum wants the childs first name to be her Dads surname as my sister already used his 1st name! It won't be as we don't like it, I guess growing up in a family with no MNs at all it doesn't occur to me they should be different to each other, it wasn't a conversation I remember having very often as a child and I never have it now - so to that extent it doesn't matter.

I'm glad siblings without the family MN don't feel left out though - I was worried about my nephew

In DH's family none of the girls have middle names. I thought this was ridiculous so DD has a middle name. DH's family said nothing about it, so I assume the tradition is mindlessly followed rather than followed for a good reason which, to me, was a good enough reason to break tradition as well

We gave DD my middle name for her middle name. And, should we have another girl, she will get the same middle name as well - we are starting our own tradition! I took my DH's surname, which I kind of regret (that's a whole different thread) so I figured since DD has my DH's surname, she could have my middle name. And, I like the idea that should she change her surname if she gets married, she still has a link back to me.

We will not do the same should we have a son (and we don't like DH's middle name anyway!)

In terms of kids feeling left out...

My mum is one of eight children (4 boys, 4 girls). She is neither the oldest nor the youngest. Her seven siblings all have middle names, but she doesn't. She feels somewhat left out.

My brother and his wife gave their first born son two middle names (my brothers first name and my fathers middle name)
They gave their second boy son only one middle name - with no family significance at all.
These boys are only 4 and 5 years old, not old enough to care, yet. But, I wonder what they will think, particularly the younger one, as they get older and figure out the difference.

I kinda like naming traditions. They can be fun and kinda nice for a sense of identity and belonging.
It doesn't matter what the tradition is as long as parents feel free to continue it or break it. Same MN for siblings is like same surname for me and the MN could in fact be another shared surname.

I don't suppose people other than the parents (especially the older generation) are ever going to stop expressing their opinion on naming and for impending parents to be concerned with what they say.
But I so wish they would.

As I said we do two middle names (one from each side of the family) so no one feels left out as such.

In my dad's family, everyone had a shared middle name - my dad has it, I have it, brother has it, granddad and uncles have it. I never knew middle names were anything different - I was surprised to find kids just had made up middle names that were nothing to do with their families. I thought it was weird - that's what their first name was for.

Whatever you like, do. Because it's the middle name, it doesn't really matter.

ATM in our family there is one person from each family branch with a particular name/middle name (being my grandmother's first name).

Grandmother (First Name)

My Dad and my Aunt (middle name).

My sister (first name) and my cousin (middle name)

My niece (middle name), My cousin's DD (middle name) and My DD (middle name).

So the same name is used but only once within each family branch.

I love family naming traditions and think that you should continue it. I know a family who all have the same middle name and it has been going on for generations, so includes many cousins etc. They love it and are so proud of the connection. They are five sisters and have now all married and changed their surnames, but they still have their shared middle name forever.

If you want to go with the tradition, go for it.
DS1 has DH middle name as his MN aswell.
DS2 doesn't have a family name, as we didn't really have another other family names (I didn't know my grandparents, DH didn't want to use his because they weren't passed away)

If I ever have a daughter, her MN will be the same as mine.

DH & I decided from the start that 1st boy & girl would get our names.