Hi Everyone,

l am fairly new to these boards but was wondering if anyone had advice for me. I have 22 month old twins who are terrible at sharing with each other. They are VERY good sharing with other children and also very good at sharing with Mummy, but not with each other. They don't bite, hit or push each other when they both want the same thing, but instead they each do a high pitched scream/squeel that could break glass. It seriously makes my head hurt
Any suggestions on how to make my girls share nicely with each other. I have tried counting to 10, ie each girl has the toy until l finish counting to 10 and then they swap. It works sometimes and not others. Any other ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Carolyn and her non-sharing girls

I've come to the conclusion from watching my girls and reading lots about child development that sharing is, in general, too hard for a child of 2. I try to think about it in different ways. If I've got a new magazine, how would I feel about someone else "sharing" it with me? Not happy at all. And yet we expect our toddlers to do the same thing with their toys. We try to focus on "taking turns" instead of sharing so each child gets a turn with the disputed toy. But as you know, this doesn't always work. For things which are really popular, I now double up the toys so each girl has one. And if it's something that can't be duplicated and "taking turns" hasn't worked, I "hide" it when no one's looking and bring it out again in a few weeks to see if things have improved.

Maree

Eleanor 1/8/03
Harriet 1/8/03

Ditto to what Maree has said!!! My girls are GREAT at sharing with other kids or Mummy and Daddy but can be rotten with each other. Most of our toys are duplicated and if they fight over a toy it gets packed away for a while. My girls are 28 months and I rarely need to do this anymore.I have started putting their initials on dolls/prams etc. They'll take a look at it say A for Amber or O for Olivia and happily pass it over.

I must have said Ambers turn/Livis turn a million times but I often hear the girls say it and when we have other little friends around they include them in turns as well. Good luck.

Rebecca 32
Nathan 28
Fraternal twin girls Amber & Olivia 08/05/03

I agree with the other girls-I think your girls are still a bit young to truely grasp the meaning of 'sharing'. We got to the stage (after nearly 2years of buying them different toys to buying them the same ones because they always wanted what the other had.

You will find as they get older they are much better than their peers at sharing though because they really do learn from a very young age that they need to share with each other (even though it takes a while to catch on).

Now J&C are 3 we get them to ask each other (instead of snatching it off the other).....'when youve finished with that can I have it' (if after a couple of minutes the toy isnt passed over, I remind the one that has it that the other one would like to have a go when he's finished-more often than not it works well)

Caz Joel and Cam at 2 1/2years old-now 3 years old