I have 11 weeks old twins (boy and a girl) who at times Im not sure if im doing ok. Deep down I know I am, they are feeding well (bottle), are healthy and generally very happy. Where do I begin?

1. The twins are feeding every 3 hours during the day and will generally have their last feed at about 10pm and wake at 3am and then 6am. Most times its my little girl who wakes for a feed and my little boy is fast asleep. I contemplate waking him but in the end I do and he always feeds well and generally faster than her. Is it ok to wake him as I do or should I try and let him sleep through? Im scared their whole day routine will go out of whack if I let him go?

2. During the day I feel guilty that I dont have much play time with them. The lack of time is a huge factor. How do you find time. My little boy also is more placid and she gets restless very easily, starts to cry and play time has to end. What can I do about this?

3. During the night feed I find it a lot harder to settle my daughter. Oonce I feed them I put them straight in the cot - he goes straight to sleep like an angel however she requires more attention. It might take half an hour otherwise I give in to her and bring her into bed with us for a little while until she falls asleep or until the next feed. What can I do? She can get really worked up.

4. When, how and what do I start to introduce solids?

If anyone can help it would be great. I think I still get overwhelmed at the fact that I am a first time mother and a mother of twins for that matter. I feel fine with them I always stay calm but I just need some reassurance (especially when you get so much advice some outsiders - and mind you no one that has twins). I have joined the Multiple Birth Ass. but again have yet to find the time to attend a coffee group.

Firstly welcome and congratulations on your two little bundles.

It sounds like you are doing a great job with them. It is hard to get one baby in a routine let alone twins. All you can do it take all the advise you can get and then filter it for what works for you.

Join us in the Multiples under 1 group. You will find some with twins around the same age as yours and will see that you are not alone. We all try to help each other when we can.

Now, my two were on formula and they were fantastic sleepers. We were very strict with their routine and this worked well for us. They slept through (10pm-7am) at 6 weeks and fed every 3 hours during the day. Our routine was feed/sleep/play. I know most do feed/play/sleep but this didnt work for us, as I said everyone is different. So once they had a bottle it was straight to bed, even now at nearly 11 months it is the same. Unfortunately there is a time that you have to not wake them during the night and see what happens, probably do it on a night when your DH doesnt have to work the following day in case you have a bad night, but you know your bubs and when they will be ready for this. We started ours on solids at 4 months, once again alot would say 6 but ours were ready at 4. We started them of farex and by six months they were having 2 meals a day and by 8 they were having 3 meals a day. With settling we had problems with our DD and still do sometimes (when sick or teething) DS settles straight away but DD can be a bit of a struggle sometimes. We ended up doing controlled crying (dont do it now, a bit young) all I can say is try not to get in a bad habit that you may regret later and have trouble breaking. Try having a bedtime routine and do the same each time they go to bed, eventually they get it. As for time, what is that? lol. I tend to do alot when they are napping (if not on EB) or at night when DH gets home, he plays with them or gives them dinner and I can get some washing or cleaning done. In regards to cooking we still dont do much that takes more than 10-15 minutes to cook and when bubs were 11 weeks most of the time we would be eating while we were rocking them in the rockers.

Once again you sound like you are doing a fantastic job so dont stress. Your babies are healthy and happy so you must be doing great.

Ali

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Barbararaffa you are doing a great job, it is really hard to know if you are doing the right thing but your babies sound happy so you are.

In answer to your questions....

I did the same as you and woke my other DD when her sister woke for a feed at night, at about 12 weeks I then started to see if they would sleep for longer and they eventually did, it is a bit more tiring but I found it help in teaching them to sleep through. and after a week or so I was only getting up once a night to each and then about 5 months they were both sleeping through. It is also didn't mess up their day time rountine, one would have an extra bottle than the other that's all.

I am the same as Ali - I do feed, Sleep, Play...it is important to get a sleep routine going, then they get to know when it is time to go to bed. Mine during the day is a bottle in a quiet place usually their room and then they are put into bed and their music box turned on...very easy, at night it is bath, bottle, bed.

Yes, time is an issue. There is never enough time during the day and when they are sleeping you need a rest to make up for the nights. I found battery operated swings great as they would be happy in those and I could run and put on a load of washing, clean up etc. You need to just let things go. I actually had a cleaner come in once a week until my girls were 4 months old, so I didn't have to worry about the house. I also ran around like a mad woman once they went to bed to make sure I had everything organised...I'm a bit anal about that.

Settling is difficult, they mainb thing is not to make a rod for your own back. when she is a little older you may have to try controlled crying, but try rocking, patting....does she have a dummy?? I know not everyone is fond of them, but it really help my DD's.

I introduced solids also at 4 months, I just gave them a little rice cereal once a day until they were about 5 months and then they went onto veges. Now at 6 months they are on 3 meals a day.

It is hard...i've been there and still going through it, you just think you have them all sorted and they change, but you just adjust with them. The best advice is to have a good routine...it makes it a lot harder and also you need to try and make room in that routine to get out...they need it and so do you.

Good luck...do join us on the under 1's, we all support eachother.

Anna

This message was edited by 2bubba's on Wednesday, 7 September 2005 @ 5:28 PM

I just wanted to say Welcome to EB twins & multiples.

Sounds like you have everything under control & are doing a great job

I can't really give you any more advice as I've kind of forgotten what it's like to have babies, mine are almost 3 now o:

Welcome & feel free to ask for advice

Belinda

Hi Barbara

It does sound like you are doing well. Plenty of good advice from the other girls. It sounds like your DS is close to sleeping through if he's not there already. All you can do is try it and see and prepare yourself for a bad night if it doesn't work!

As per my post in Angela's thread I am a Parent Contact for the P&D MBA, my number is in the inside cover of the newsletter. Feel free to call any time for (non-professional) advice, a chat (or just a whinge if you need one), that's what we are here for! Also, we would love to see you at the New Mum's Morning Tea on the 14th (Dads/Grandmas are welcome too). All the details are in the last newsletter, and you should have received an invite as well. Its a good opportunity to meet other Mums with bubs under 1. We have extra pairs of hands to hold babies so you can have a hot cuppa for a change!

Nicolie
DDs Paige & Hannah (23/09/03)

Hi Barbara
Welcome and congrats. Sounds like you're doing an excellent job, it's not easy getting twins first up! Well everyone else seems to have given you great advice. Here's a little more...

1. I found it easier to wake the sleeping twin (hard to do though sometimes when they're sleeping so peacefully!) and this seemed to get them 'in synch'. We tried not waking the sleepy one (Isabel) a few times, but found she only woke an hour later anyway for a feed. Maybe try one weekend just to ease your mind to see if your boy will keep sleeping.

2. I always feel like I never have enough time, arms, smiles (or so it feels sometimes!) I find that if you prioritise what REALLY needs doing (like sleeping occasionally, having breakfast...) as opposed to what you USED to do before they came along, life is much easier. I have a cleaner that comes for 2 hours once a week and she is a life saver!

3. I found a great book called 'Becoming Babywise' that went through routines and how to settle, etc.

4. Don't worry about solids too much yet, my girls are 6 months and one likes to eat and the other isn't interested! I try all sorts of things and Isabel couldn't care less. I guess wait and see what your babies want to do, each is different and your maternal health nurse will have excellent advice. Most run a 'starting solids' session, which gives you all the info you need.

Try to get to a coffee morning if you can - you'll feel sooo good once you get there, coz everyone's in the same boat! I love going to my AMBA group mornings, they are so worthwhile. Good luck.


Lisa
Jessica & Isabel 1/3/05

Hi Barbara,
JUst wanted to say you are doing a fantastic job, I am a first time mum to twins too and WOAH was it a shock to the system... still is!
Also like you I have a very placid child and a more full on child who needs more attention and trying to split myself in two is very demanding, but it does get easier... honest ;p
I'm in Perth too, so if you fancy meeting up for a coffee just let me know, otherwise i'll seee you at the christmas picnic!
Heather