Hello I would like some advice on a couple of issues.


We have gorgeous twins 13 months old now a boy and a girl who my parents look after twice a week so that I can work. They now want to take them out on 'drives' so have bought new car seats for their car. I am so worried about them going out without me to shopping centres and peoples homes or parks and running off. Also mum and dad have dogs which have been in the car so it smells of dog as well, the thought of my little ones just sitting in this car for hours on end for drives up the country with little regard to their routine is making me very angry but as they look after them on these days I don't feel I have a choice. Once they are running around I will be even more paranoid!

My other issue is that they don't want to be called grandma or grandpa as it makes them feel old but have yet to come up with another decent option. I wont let me call them by their names as its too formal.

Ugh, my mum and dad are being difficult or is it me?

Hi there,

I am in a very similar position to you. My mother in law looks after the girls for 2 days per week whilst I work too.

She too does some things that I am less than happy about (ie. we have had the odd hungry jacks discussion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). I also thought at the beginning that things would get majorly out of rountine. I think that communication is the key, and a bit of compromise. Maybe they could take them for short outings as long as they bought them home for their naps and things. I guess more importantly, the grandparents will soon learn what they can and can't handle with regards to taking them out. Just remember that they love your kids (almost) as much as you do and also want to take care of them the best way possible, they are also probably very proud of them and would love to show them off - I know that's what mine are like.

Basically, for you to work with free childcare, unfortunately it takes a bit of trade off - but I do sympathise.

We ALSO had the name thing. The girls now call my Mum (annabel) Bells - which is just unique to her grandchildren. Maybe you could change her name a bit to make it something special too.

HTH,

Kate

Kate
Alicia and Sophie 2/12/02

What kind of outings are they talking about?

Surely there wouldn't be a problem with them taking your kids out to the park or something? I attend kindygym with my son on Mondays, and there is always a lady there with her two grandkids that she takes care of, and they have a great time.

This message was edited by my_angel_iain on Thursday, 25 August 2005 @ 2:37 PM

Hi

It's hard to set the rules when you get the childcare for free isn't it?

My mum has my 2 one day a week while I'm at work too. Lucky for me my mum is very much an 'A' type personality and likes rules and routine so once I spelled out their routine to her, she took to it like a duck to water! There are other things I get anxious about though - like discipline methods etc. I still don't quite know how to approach that one.

I think that once in a while getting out of routine or being 'spoilt' in some way would be OK, but if it were a couple of time a week I might have an issue with it. I think they will soon learn that if they keep the kids out too long and miss naps etc they will pay for it later and correct the issue themselves.

No idea on the names issue, my ILs felt the same way. They are now 'Poppy' and 'Nan-Jude'.

Good luck with it!

Nicolie
DDs Paige & Hannah (23/09/03)

Hi Calypso,
We have made it very clear to both Grandparents that they are to respect and abide by our routines. Grandparents don't have to deal with unhappy littele vegemites after they drop them off!!
We are more than happy for the kiddies to be taken out anywhere, provided they stick to the routine.
HTH.
Scott

Thankyou all for the fantastic feedback and tips, I know my twins are well looked after and loved by their grandparents they can just be a little testing at times and I am finding it hard to let go. I will let you know how the first few outings progress.

I have tried to come up with a name for my mum as she dosn't want nana or anything like that, her name is Diana any suggestions?

This message was edited by calypso on Friday, 26 August 2005 @ 10:16 PM

Di-nana?

If they don't work out something for themselves soon - the kids will probably give them something anyway! My god-daughter christened her grandmother "Bubba"! I know of another kid who called her grandmother "Grand-Marni" because she drank Grand Marnier a lot!!

Nicolie
DDs Paige & Hannah (23/09/03)

Oops, DH just pointed out that Di-nana might sound like Die Nanna! That's awful, sorry - what was I thinking??

Nicolie
DDs Paige & Hannah (23/09/03)