I just had this tiny little pinprick of a scratch on my upper arm, and scratched it without realising and it started to bleed.

And it kept on bleeding in an annoying fashion.

I put pressure on it, it kept bleeding, used a new tissue, and it still kept bleeding. So I went to the bathroom to see if there was some exciting new way I could work out to actually stick a tissue on there.

Right around that time I remembered bandaids...



Anyone else done anything embarassingly stupid today?

Not today but in the last few days.
I melted my macro lens a little

Praytell how?

Microwave?

Got a tattoo when I was 17 with about 2 hours thought. My friend chose it. I have no idea what it means.

Left my beloved and very expensive camera sitting on the side of the road, in my brand new custom made camera bag with my iphone in it.

Didn't realise til about half an hour after I got home from the park. Thank goodness some kind soul left a note stuck to the grass telling me where to find it.

Wow thats awesome!! Lucky you!

I got lost in the bush and hours later as it was getting dark covered in scratches and with my poor kelpie's foot bleeding I stumbled through a gate into the back of some strangers property, walked a km or two until I found their house and asked for help, thankfully they were nice enough to inform me where I was and drive me back to my car(which was a LONG way from where I'd ended up and nowhere near where I thought I was)

My dad laughed...hard... I grew up hiking, I was a scout and my dad has qualifications in bush leadership, I should have known better...

went to put a bib on DD yesterday and I was standing and leaning down to her (she was sitting on the floor) so couldn't see her face. put it around her and did it up, thinking "wow this one only just fits - most of them are a little loose around her neck"

then I sat down, turned to face her and she's trying to put a stick of celery in her mouth but can't because i've
actually put the bib on through her mouth like a gag

she didn't complain though

but she looked at me like "ok, how do i do this Mum?" LOL

Aine, was doing candle shots in a very dark room. Didint realise how close I got. Obviously a bit too close. Oops. and I love my macro.

Got locked in the Botanical Gardens in Sydney late one night with my 8kg dog. Figured I could climb one of the gates with one arm and her tucked under the other. I was 25 kg overweight and had zero upper body strength.

Make it to the top of the turnstile gate and haul the dog up on top to give myself a rest. Dog freaks and jumps off straight back into the gardens. Then the skinny b**ch (literally) runs, tail wagging, straight between the bars! lol!

I wanted to check to see if my sugar syrup had turned to toffee.....by sticking my finger in it.

I don't know what the hell I was thinking but the bloody stuff stuck and I had a massive blister on my finger. My family haven't let me live it down.

Not today but the stupidest thing I've EVER done is free climb a cliff to 8 meters.

I fell and broke my leg in 4 places. Didn't walk for nearly a year.

I was an experienced and cautious rock climber too. Just not on that day apparently.

My ex ...


Sorry I couldnt help myself.

Stick my entire hand on a frying pan to see if it was hot.
Yes. Yes it was hot. The triage nurse was seriously suprised I wasn't drunk.

Recently I sterilised the baby's bottle and express pump equipment by boiling.
Except I boiled it so long the water dried up and the plastic pump parts melted to the bottom of the saucepan in this ginormous yellow sticky puddle. I cried and cried!

I went to look after my boyfriend because he had a chest infection, I woke up at around 2am, violently thirsty because we'd had pizza for dinner, and I sculled water from the big glass on his side of the bed. It was a weird texture, kinda stuck in my throat. Turned on the light and saw a viscous, green and yellow residue in the bottom of the glass. Yep, it was the water he'd been hawking his lungs up into.

Delish.





Sorry, I know this probably should've gone into a 'most disgusting thing you've done' thread but I remembered this story tonight and wanted to share the love.




And yes, I'm retching just writing about this.

-Put my hand out to stop a glass door that was in the process of being slammed- 20 odd stitches later

-Drink a little too much and ride The Big Red Car Ride in the Supermarket and then swim in a fountain

-Kick my husband in the face whilst trying to give him a BJ

All these have been in the last few years too which makes it worse

I recently took something out of the oven without wearing oven gloves. Ouch.

Totoro- That would have made me throw up!

Today I hit the accelerator to pull out of my parking spot- only to realise I had the car in reverse. Thankfully there wasn't anything behind me! It's an automatic car.

OMG Totoro I actually just gagged.

I've done lots. I can't remember anything too gold at the minute but just the other week I did put DD in her carseat (0-4yrs one) and didn't think nothing of it til I realised that I had actually put her in DS's big boy seat (4-7 years)! I wondered why she looked so tiny! She thought it was terrific until I unstrapped her to move her into hers! If DS wasn't in kindy then of course I wouldn't have done it. What is funny now is that if I do something odd DS pulls me up on it and laughs at me!! And says something like "that's not right mummy!"

Actually I have to admit sadly that I have forgotten to strap the kids in their carseat on a couple of occasions. Just put one in the car and got sidetracked and forgotten. I actually did this one day when DD was only about 12 mths old. She wasn't yet walking and I put her and her brother in their carseats and then (thinking she was strapped in) ran inside to grab something. To which I was inside for a couple of minutes. I went back outside and panicked- I couldn't see her in her carseat and DS2 was pointing to the floor. There she was, on the floor of the backseat crying her eyes out. She couldn't get up poor thing. She had fallen out of her seat I felt terrible. Luckily she was alright.

Oh, I was so tired last week in body balance that I actually FELL ASLEEP in the relaxation part of the class.

Driving back from a wedding last weekend- a 1000km trip, I realized I'd left my purse at a coffee shop in a country town 150km back up the road. We had to go back to get it to pay for the petrol we'd put in the car before we'd realized I'd lost it. It added three hours to the trip. Fun.

Me too.

It was 8 years ago and I still retch. The thickness, the texture, the aftertaste, the realisation that I'd just drunk a huge amount of infected phlegm....

It's like nothing I've ever experienced before.

When I was young and stupid I smuggled a tiny bit (about a gram) of Cocaine into Australia in my bra - so I could whip it out at a New Years Eve party and impress my friends. Coming through customs was the most terrifying experience of my life, especially as there were sniffer dogs going down the lines! Fortunately I got through but have never been tempted to break the law like that again....I am just not cut out for it - I nearly fainted with the stress!

Oh, for god and COUNTRY, Totoro, I was gagging before your latest debrief!

*vomits profusely on keyboard*

I feel so much better about my bit of blood and my forgetting that bandaids exist!

Oh, and Xena, I have also done that kicking thing... didn't go down well. We ended up at the ED and had to explain that I'm not actually an abusive girlfriend.

So frikken embarassing!

DD was sitting in the front of the car with me whilst parked waiting for other dd. She pulled my phone charger out so I went to plug the lighter thingy in it to plug the hole.

It popped back out. I put it back in. It stayed. Then popped out again. Had a look at it and it didnt appear to *look* hot so tested it with my finger.

It did indeed work. Burnt my finger pretty badly. Almost 3 weeks later and its just healed. With a lovely car lighter moon shape.

But goddamn that hurt worse then childbirth. Hobbling into the chemist with my finger in my water bottle explaining what I had done with a lot of customers around. I can laugh now but it hurt!!!

I used a microwave steriliser for the first (and only) time to sterilise bottles and the breast pump. Unfortunately I put the part that says "do not microwave" in with it. It melted and stank out the house. Middle of winter in Melbourne and we had the windows open overnight



Yes, that is stupid. Very stupid.

Yeah, LibbyLu. You just got sent to EB hell for being young and stupid.

Don't ever do that again.

Ever.

Even if you are coming to a party at my house. Not even then. Not even if I ask you to. Which I wouldn't, obviously.

Hell.

You.

Now.



Actually, one of my biggest stupids ever was by accidentally hitting "reply all" instead of "reply" in an email. Anyone else done that?

*cringes at the mere memory of it*

Oh there are many. Once I stapled my thumb to see what it felt like. It hurt.

Another time I backed my car directly into a friends car they'd parked behind mine, in my driveway. Luckily only slowly.

At this point, while sitting up with the baby who seems immune to sleep, and having to be at work i the morning, the fact that I thought I could juggle work and motherhood seems a stupid stupid thing.

Oh and totoro, that's just gross. I think I vomited a little.

This is absolutely embarrassing but I once put toothpaste on my eyelids to see how it would look (mother never bought me pretty makeup/clothes/girly stuff so I guess I just improvised) Well it looked stupid but it actually hurt like hell, burned for ages. Told my best friend and she laughed for a week.

Another thing was to press accelorator instead of brake, so car went smashing into garage door. Luckily not much damage to car or garage but mightily embarrassing.

Also put whole egg into microwave to cook, not realising what would happen. Turn out that when you take the egg out and try and peel, it will explode making masses of burning egg pieces go everywhere - and they are painful when they get on your face.

There are so many more, I do stupid things for a living.

Bblessed, do you still need a pump? I have a Medela set with hand pump, two bottles, 2 pumps, spare unused tube that I would be more than happy to give to you?

I have done the same thing! Was attempting to make croquembouche (damn you Masterchef!) and was checking to see if my toffee was ready. It actually ended up taking a huge chunk of my fingernail off because I then stupidly tried to pull the harden toffee off my finger!

I have also made a big fool of myself in carpark once. Came back from shopping, walked up to my car, pressed the button to unlock it. Heard the click, so I pulled on the door and it was still locked. I was very puzzled so I locked the car (heard the alarm beep), unlocked it again and the door still wouldn't open. I then tried to stick my key in to unlock it and this wouldn't work either!

I called my DH who worked down the street and told him and he called the NRMA for me. Meanwhile I was leaning against the car, occasionally trying to lock and unlock the car. I could still hear the alarm which was freaking me out.

Then I realised that it was not, in fact, my car but an identical car parked TWO SPACES from my own! It was the exact same car, same model, colour, the number plate even started with the same 2 letters and both cars had a magnetic green p-plate in the same spot on the boot! I was so embarressed ! I then had to ring DH and tell him and I made him call the NRMA for me because I was too ashamed.

When we first moved into our current house I got up in the middle of the night to use thr loo in the ensuite. Closed the door so as not to wake hubby.

When I was done I could not make the door open. I pushed and pushed and started to get a bit panicky. Had a look around and decided the door drfinitely had to open outeards as there was not enough room inwards for the door to swing properly.

After a few more tries (and nearly in tears by now) I called out to my husband. He is a very deep sleeper. It took a good 5 minutes of yelling and crying before he woke up. He then wandered over to the ensuite and slid the door to the left.

Yep, sliding doors need to go sideways, not back and forwards to operate properly.

I forgot my name, I got asked my name and I just stared at the lady like she had two heads.

It's adding to my list of not being able to speak properly, I will try and say something to DP and it comes out as a jumbled mess.

Oh gawd, I'd forgotten about this thread!

PUI.

Not pretty.

I finally upgraded from my 20 year old nissan pulsar to a mazda 3, which has an automatic unlocker button thingy. One day, parked in street, couldn't make it lock. Rang mazda dealer, who said "oh yes there is a black spot in that street". I said "but how do i lock my car then?" He said "why not put the key into the lock and lock it that way."

Hadn't thought of that.
Yes I am blond.

I can't take full credit for this one, I was actually a close friend.

We were out to a nice dinner and a tipsy someone(me) spilt their drink a little. She pulled out her "face wipes" and offered them warning "watch out these sting your eyes a little" I looked at the packet and she was offering me a FEMFRESH wipe (wipes ment for down below) . She thought they were face wipes and had been using them for weeks to remove makeup. We now call her Fem Face.

Earlier this week I was driving home and thought that instead of turning right and waiting a few light changes, I'd keep going and take the next right, to be quicker.

Next thing I know, I've sailed right past my house and I find myself at the end of my street with the left indicator on! Which is especially weird as I nearly always turn right there, never left...

That 'short cut' actually added nearly 10 minutes to my trip because I got stuck on the busy main road.

I have always wanted to do this. Everytime I staple something I put my thumb there, but can never follow through!

Well, if I discount the obvious one (staying with an alcoholic partner for 17 years )...

...there was the time I locked the house and went to open the car, baby in one arm, to go to the shops and saw a kid start a grass fire across the road which was racing towards the house opposite...

...raced back inside to ring the fire brigade, slammed the door, went to get in the car..

No keys. Me and 5-month-old baby standing in 35 degree heat. Left keys by the phone.

Rang DH on mobile to rescue me. Not impressed (he was a doctor and had better things to do). Grumpy DH opens front door for me.

No car keys.

They were sitting on top of the car all the time.

DH curses me roundly, I go to the supermarket, do the small amount of shopping I had to do, pay, come home, go to get the shopping out of the car...

...and realise I left the two bags of shopping behind at the checkout.

Sit down and cry. At least I remembered the baby.

THAT is what sleep deprivation does to you.

Can relate to this one. Except I was 16 and had had a couple of bourbon and cokes at the local beforehand. 10 years later and I still cringe when I see the playboy bunny on my back in the mirror

Not today....

But a few years ago I was serving out ice cream, I wanted to put chocolate topping on, and my oldest DD got it out the cupboard for me while I got the spoons......I took it off her and proceeded to shake the bottle....

And chocolate sauce went every where, floors, cupboards, ceiling, walls, us....everywhere. DD said she opened it for me but failed to tell me first. So needless to say I didn't see the funny side until after we had cleaned it all up. I was still finding sticky spots of chocolate years later in places I swore it couldn't have reached.

It is funny now....especially as none of us had chocolate topping as their was none left....oh and it was a new bottle. That was a lot of chocolate to clean up

Lynn

Sorry, but that's just so funny

I rem. when I was about 18 and had my licence for a few months. My parents lent me their little old Mazda (speedo was still in miles type of old) . Work was only 20 minutes from home. After work, went to start the car but wouldnt work. Rang home and dad was coming to rescue me.
Just before they got there, I realised I left it in D (drive) and therefore it wouldnt start. Something I didnt realise until just before they arrived. Havent done that one again. The days before mobile phones too.

Married my ex.

Even though the mantra going through my head as we drove to the venue, and the last thought in my lead as as I got out of the car was "there is always divorce, there is always divorvce, there is always divorce"......

This is freaking hilarious, I am literally crying with laughter!

Some of these are brilliant, rofl!

i was nine months pregnant and the in-laws were
coming for lunch ,i was running short on time so
i grabbed the nearest bowl i could find to whip cream .i got out the electric beaters and
all of a sudden it started turning silver ,i sung out to dh to come
and see whats wrong with it ,he says you have used the bowl from
the rice cooker !i always get reminded of that one !

I tried to cap a pen with a tampon at work, whilst working on the front desk so in front of a heap of people. I keep a pen in my pocket and so pulled out of my pocket what I thought was the pen cap but it was a tampon. I wasn't even watching what I was doing and I was wondering why I couldn't get the darn cap on the pen.

Very embarrassing. I have more, trust me.

Not today but yesterday, I picked up some dirty clothes off DD's bedroom floor, walked into the bathroom, and threw them in the toilet! I don't know what the hell I was thinking!

Thankfully I stopped short of peeing in the laundry hamper!

That's so funny