It's four months to the day since my Dad died. My very first post on EB was about losing my Dad. It happened very suddenly and unexpectedly just one day after I found out I was pregnant. My baby was the last thing I spoke to him about.

I'm having a really bad day. I know grief comes in waves but today is really tough. I was just walking along and glanced down at my belly and realised he would never see me like this and that thought plunged me into a feeling of overwhelming sadness.

My pregnancy is such a joy to me but then I remember my Dad will never feel the baby kick, will never hold my child, will never play with her or teach her anything, it's just too sad for me to bear. He was such a loving man and he adored children but he'll never hold his first grandchild.

My husband's mother died when he was just 18 and his father is a very reserved man and lives overseas besides. Essentially my child will only have one present grandparent and that makes me very sad for her as well.

I'm just so very sad.

I'm sorry for the loss of your dad and sorry that you are having a bad day. I hope tomorrow is better.

Sorry to hear about your Dad OP

Be kind to yourself, and grieve when you need to. Hoping you feel a little better soon.

Life just sucks sometimes doesnt it? DP's father passed away 18mths before DD1 was born so never got to meet his grandchildren either. It hurts.

I'm also very sorry for your loss, no words could ease your pain.
I hope you feel better soon and can enjoy your pregnancy journey and relish in the memories of your dad.
I hope you have lots of special moments with your new bubs which might be the shining light your family needs right now.

I too am sorry for your loss.

I was blessed with the most wonderful MIL who unfortunately died 5 nearly 6 years ago. For my DH who was very close to her my pregnancy and the birth of our DS was hard because his mum wasn't around to share in the joy. But we had a photo of her with us in the delivery suite, then the song we played at her funeral (which she adored) came onto the shuffled i-pod playlist as DS entered the world and we both truely believe she was with us when he was born. (writing this is bringing tears to my eyes).

Also MIL used to joke that she kissed every single curl into DH's head when he was a boy (DH has very curly hair but when he was a baby it was straight). My DS has curly hair at the back and straight ontop at the front. He likes to sleep on his tummy (he's 17 months old and rolls there on his own, I place him in his cot on his back every night before I get any SIDS advice). We tell him every night that he needs to roll over when Andma comes to kiss his curls in and he just smiles at us. Then about 2 weeks ago he started saying Andma. Even though she is not here I truely beleive she is around and knows our DS.

The reason I am telling you this is I am sure your Dad is around and will be there when your little one arrives. I know its still sad (and very early on in your grief journey) and does not ease the pain, but as a PP said, tomorrow will hopefully be better.

My DS might not have any grandmothers (my mum is not in our lives) technically but I am sure he feels his Andma's love from heaven and we talk about her a lot so she lives on with us.

hugs for you. Take care of yourself an make a plan for the 'bad days", I find it helps.

I am sorry for your loss,
I was very close to my wonderful in laws who passed away nearly 8 years ago. When my twins were born she jokingly mentioned how it was a great early birthday present and it was a pity they couldn't have waited an extra 2 days and they could have shared a birthday lol (they were born 9 weeks early so should never have had a birthday near their nana's)

Well over the years I have really missed both my in laws espec my MIL as we just really bonded so well. In 2009 we were expecting again and my due date was in October but due to medical reasons etc I was scheduled for a Ceasar on the 28th of September. All through that pregnancy I never felt I was going to make it that far but always said as long as I get past the twins birthday 19th of Sept and the parties which were the 19 and 20th of September then Bubs could come whenever he wanted.

Well wouldn't you know it. On the 21st of September (mIL's birthday) I went again into pre term labour and as I was already 3cm dilated when i got there I was sent to theatre for an emergency Caesar. My wonderful youngest child arrived at 8.19 pm on his late Nana's birthday, of all my 3 kids he is the only one to have reddish hair (like my MIL) and his hair is a bundle of tight little curls which are just the same as his late Nana. i see so much of her in him and feel her presence in so much that he does. I truly think she had a hand in sending him to us and was watching out.

I felt the strongest grief about the loss of my MIL that I had felt in a long time on DS's birthday as it is a reminder that she is not here to share the day with us but I figure time does heal.

My older children don't remember their paternal grandparents but know their photo's and have been told so many stories that they feel they know them. DS 2 will grow up knowing who he shares his special day with and that his hair is just like his Nana etc.

Don't fight your grief roll with how you feel on each day, when you think of stories write them down so you can then tell you bub when they are born etc. You dad will be guiding you from afar. Your dad will get to teach this bub lots as he has already passed a lot of the lessons to you... so those special things you did as a child with you dad can be things for you to pass to you child.

Im sorry for your loss. I can relate to what your feeling, i lost my mum not long ago, it sucks. She did get to have a few years with her grankids, when she was diagnosed she had to withdraw from them as she couldnt handle the fact she wouldnt see them grow up. One thing that gives me comfort is that she has been re-united with one granchild in heaven that she never met on earth. (my sisters daughter who died at 32 weeks). Mum was talking about her just days before she died. hope you can find a source of comfort from above. xo