Hi, Im new (see introduction topic) and I need help. I have fraternal twin boys who are 3 1/2 and attend pre-kinder. The youngest one is what could probably be called "gifted" and the other is not. By gifted I mean he can read, sound out words, can spell and write his own name (Nathaniel), draw recognisable pictures, locate countries and major landmarks in an atlas, name the major bones in a human body and things like that. He is like a sponge for knowledge and wants to learn. Our other twin Marcus however, is what we assume is a normal 3yo. He has no natural curiosity and is not at all interested in listening to stories. he is quiet, slow (a dawdler really) and a very loving and happy boy who rarely argues and happily accepts it when we say no to him. Nathaniel, as well as being smart is highly strung and prone to tantrums when he does not get his own way.
Our dilemna relates to kindergarten. The boys are at prekinder this year and while Nathaniel is ready to progress to Preschool, Marcus is not. We need some thoughts on holding one twin back. My husband and i are reluctant to do this but it is one of our options. What do other twin parents think?

Anita

Hi Anita, wow that's a tricky question. If it was me I would talk to the teachers at their Kinder and also my Maternal and Child Health nurse. I would want to consider all the options and opinions before making up my mind. I really don't have any answers- hope someone else responds who can help you.
Keep in touch,
Maycee

Maycee (35)
DH (33)
Twin boys (4/12/01)
DD (7/10/03)

I also think you should speak to the teachers at your school and discuss what their thoughts and/or concerns may be too. It is important to note that it can be equally frustrating for a student to be pushed too far before they are ready, if the boys are happy to be apart in this aspect of their lives then perhaps accepting the difference in their ability now would be easier than further down the track. It is a very tricky situation, I'm sure you will do what you think is best for all!!

Sharyn
Meg14/4/99
Hannah & Josie 22/3/04 (33 wks)
DH David



...some days are diamonds
.

hi My nephew goes to school with fraternal twin boys. One very gifted the other above average. Their parents had to decide whether to let them both skip a grade or just the 'brighter' one.. They let them both move up a grade together. even though they are rarely in the same class I think it was just too hard to explain why one was going to be moved up a grade. They were 7 or 8 at the time and didn't want them to be labelled the smart one or the dumb one etc...

Good luck with your decision...

Rebecca 32
Nathan 28
Fraternal twin girls Amber & Olivia 08/05/03

Thanks for your input. We are still deciding and will speak to the teachers some more. We also have an appointment with the Health Centre and they may be able to refer us to an expert who might be able to rule out any developmental/learning disabilities. It is such a difficult decision and any ideas help. I am very aware that what we decide now will impact on Marcus's whole life.

Thanks, Anita & Steve
No. 1 son, Alexander (5yrs 6mths)
Twins: Nathaniel and Marcus (3yrs 7mths)

I am not a twin or a twin parent, but I have to say that what you decide now could well affect NATHANIAL's whole life as well!

I was a gifted child and I can tell you that for much of my school life I was bored witless when everyone else was learning things I already knew or doing repetitive exercises from a text book to reinforce knowledge when I just wanted to get on and learn more. I was disruptive of other students, especially in Maths and Science - just flipping through my reports they always said the same thing, even back in grades 1 and 2.

I know that I became academically lazy because I could get reasonably good marks without doing much work (this was back in the days when many subjects were assessed by exams only).

Steph
DD Alex (March 04)

Anita, maybe try your local MBA or twins club? Ours has a regular 'Multiples in Schools Forum' where you can go and talk to education 'experts' as well as parents of twins. We're in Perth so not much good to you, but maybe there is something similar where you live. It would be a good forum to get some ideas from anyway.

Good luck with it all, its a while before I have to think about this stuff, but I guess it will fly by just like the last 2 years have!

Nicolie
DDs Paige & Hannah (23/09/03)

Have you had a look at this website:

http://www.twinsandmultiples.org/

It deals with educational issues for multiples. Good luck with your decision.

Maree

Eleanor 1/8/03
Harriet 1/8/03

Maree

That looks like a top site! I'll have to go back later & have another look.

Belinda

Hi Anita,

just wanted to let you know you are not alone in your dilemma !!
My boys Jackson and Riley are turning 4 in November. Riley is by no means gifted, so a slightly different situation - but he is slightly above average for his age, both with physical development & intellectual development. Jackson is on the lower range of average for both physical and intellect, he has a much shorter attention span & his problem solving /analytical skills are lacking.

The boys had their 3 and a half year assessment at the MCHN a couple of months ago & the health nurse said we might need to look at holding Jackson back. I was mortified!! Jackson has been seeing a paediatrician since he was born and at about 2 years of age we were referred to the Child Development & Rehabilitation Unit at the Royal Children's hospital just to monitor Jackson's development. Next year they will be doing extensive testing throughout the year to make sure he is ready for school.
& you know the main reason that I am going through this & why the paediatricians have recommended it? it is because he is a twin with a brother who is a bit ahead. I decided to go through with the assessments etc because I am concerned about Jackson's self esteem - you can see already he gets frustrated & angry with himself when Riley can do something and he can't and I can only see that getting worse as they get older.
If those tests come back with the result that Jackson is not ready, then I will not send him, it will break our heart to see Riley go on to school without Jackson, but I guess we need to view them as individuals and not as one unit. I will go so far as sent them to different schools if this happens, because I can only imagine the teasing that would go on if we sent Jackson to the same school a year later than Riley.
My MCHN also pointed out would we rather Jackson have to be held back in say grade 6, and how much harder that would be for him to deal with rather than doing it from the very start. Such a hard decision!!

anyway, enough or my rambling!! LOL - I really empathise with you Anita & it is such a tough decision to make. Do what you can to get professional advice but also trust your own maternal instinct - i have pushed all along for Jackson to be seen by these professionals because I knew this situation would come up, & I'm glad I did. good luck with making your decision

cheers

Jane
Jackson&Riley 16/11/01 Ella&Liam 26/08/04