hi all

its only daycare at the moment but i am seriously considering separating my identical twin boys..
they are 3.5 yrs and spend 100% of their time by eachothers side. I have told daycare to divide them during the day but whenever i see them they are together just watching the other children play..
speech is a problem in dylan as he lets blake answer questions and then repeats 1 or 2 wrds back.
its getting to the point that dylan will look at what blake has ( eg what biscuit or jacket ) before making the same decision..
i could put blake into a higher class (4yr olds) and leave dylan in with the 3.5 yr olds but dh is soo against dividing them that i would hate for it to be a negative experience for all...
i have suggested splitting them at kindy next year as well but would want them together for the grade years so i dont get too much homework LOL
has anyone experienced this situation or know of any good or bad outcomes from splitting up twins..
** they are extremely bonded in that being ten weeks prem and only 6 days old blake was taken into another SCN for observation and dylan had a crying fit and then went into depression ( kinda lifeless and sad ) ~~we were the talk of KEMH ~~
also after 23 days apart blake's heart rate settled and he stopped having non breathing attacks when on xmas day the nurses put the two together and blake was out of a humi crib the next day !!!! **

thanks in advance

kylie
ds Dylan 02.12.01
ds Blake 02.12.01
ds Corey 02.12.01
ds Kade 05.11.03

My id girls started kindergarten this year and we were adv to seperate them (which I was planning to do anyway) , they adv that if I really wanted them kept together in kindy they would be seperated in year 1.

My situation is different in that they didn't rely on each other or fret for each other.

Personally i agree with the school seperating them cause then they don't have to worry about the teacher expecting them to be at the same level iykwim. Their own teachers will see their individual strengths & weaknesses and work on them.

I dont really know what you mean by the double homework thing , at the moment my two are doing home readers and they would have seperate books whether they were in the same class or seperate, and once they start bringing homework home i will be doing it as a one on one thing anyway as they will just muck around I think doing it together.

My view was that my dd3 like Kade and the rest of kindy will be starting kindy by themselves so My two should be able to cope being in seperate classes.

They havent had a problem at all and I think are thriving getting individual attention for once .

My mum also had triplets at her preschool and they ended up seperating one from the others as she was the dominant one doing everthing for the other 2 and not really being able to do her own thing.

All this mey be irrelevant casue I really don't know how your boys would react to be seperated but thought i would give you my experience.

HI Kylie

My girls went through a similar thing it sounds like you are experiencing at the moment, although we didn't have any other options regarding spliting as we live in the country.

My girls are VERY dependant on each other and we also had a situation when they were 18 months and one was very sick in hospital the other absolutely pined for her and went very dull and listless.

When they were about 4 we noticed Georgia was the follower and would wait to see whatever Kelsey picked/wore/ate (you name it) before making her decision the same. It was to the point where she wouldn't get dressed in the morning until Kelsey had put her clothes on so Georgia could run in and put on EXACTLY the same. We were worried about this too.

As I have found with most things with my twins they go through various stages. Now it isn't an issue. I would say they make their own decisions now, but it is *loosly* based on the others. Now it isn't important for them to be exactly the same.

I don't remember there being a speech problem although Kelsey does talk over Georgia a lot and we make extra effort to listen to Georgia so she isn't walked over IYKWIM?

We have decided not to seperate them at school (couldn't at kindy due to reason above but do have two reception classes at our area school)

I think they do get lumped together a bit by their teacher and also by other students but we have spoken about that and they prefer being together. If there were more problems I really would consider it although I think they would miss each other as they are their own best friends (I don't mind them playing together as it is what they are used to after all )

I guess every situation is different but perhaps just encourage Dylan to speak and encourage Blake to listen more. We used to say to Kelsey "Georgia will tell her story first and then you can say yours"

Good luck and feel free to PM me



[b]Amanda
Georgia and Kelsey 26.3.99
Piper 1.7.04

Just thought I would add that we tried the seperate classes thing earlier this year with swimming lessons...it was a complete flop as they refused to go unless it was together

Just thought I'd let you know our boys are the same (theyve just turned 3). We basically have sent them to day care for some 'other children' interaction.....but they spent all their time together (they play with other kids but always together) Theyre fraternal twins.Their daycarers have commented on how they spend all their time together-I figure this is all theyve ever known and they will branch out as they get older.

I dont see it as too much of an issue at this stage because even though they spend all their time together they are still very independent in what they want (ie you ask them what they want on their toast and you can guarantee it will be the opposite to what the other wants)-their speech etc is well on track.

Cam is probably more dependent on Joel (ie I would be quite comfortable leaving joel at daycare on his own but I really dont know how cam would cope)

Not much help sorry-but it does happen to fraternals as well.



Caz Joel and Cam at 2 1/2years old-now 3 years old