Just wondering if any other twin mums have the same prob, the lack of understanding with people regarding twins. My own mother thinks my girls are just plain naughty and has kept her distance since they were born. Friends have disappeared. Now I am questioning myself....Am I just going plain mad or do other twin mums out their feel the same??????

Well, where to start!!! I dont believe that unless you have twins yourself you have much of an idea what it's like. I regularly get comments from people who say " i had my kids close together i know what it's like". But they dont have a clue. They've never had 2(or more) kids at the same developmental stage. 2 in nappies(although some may have) 2 breastfeeding at once,2 starting solids, 2 babies demanding attention, 2 babies to get up to through the night. etc etc etc. the list goes on. And whilst us multiple mums may have the advantage in a few years time(cause we've done it all at once) we definately do the hard yards for the first 3 or 4 years.

My sister has just had a baby and she says she loves when her hubby comes home cause she passes bub to him.. Well even if we did that we'd still be holding one bub!!! I have friends who only go shopping without their children and they cant believe I do groceries with twins but if i didn't take the girls everywhere with me i'd be home 24/7. two tired 2 year olds are alot to manage versus say a 2 & a 4 or 5 year old.

I had a few minor fallouts with family who didn't have a clue. And were offended that i didn't get out and about much when the girls were little. But I have happy contented little girls and a happy almost sane mum.

Recently a friend from Mums group came over early in the day(before breakfast) so she got to see the morning routine and she was genuinely suprised at the effort getting the girls fed, cleaned up, dressed etc etc it takes. it's not that differnet to what she does except we have to do everything twice(or more)
Maybe your friends and Mum need to take the time to spend with you and your kids to really understand what it takes. Not to mention giving you a hand.

hope this helps in the quest for sanity....


Rebecca 31
Nathan 28
Fraternal twin girls Amber & Olivia 08/05/03

I understand that feeling. I started going to a normal playgroup earlier in the year, but it seemed to be only for singeltons, all the activities and outings didn't allow for me having to divide my attention between two children.

Unfortunately, I don't drive so I can't get to the AMBA playgroups or meetings. So we just don't go to any playgroup.

As for family, well they often give me the two under X months is so much harder than twins, and I just have to ignore that. My mum was helping out in the early days, and she saw just how much work it is. Now she is so busy, I don't see her much. My friends in my city don't have children yet, so I am living a completely different life and we don't really relate well anymore.

The isolation is horrible.

talking of playgroups, my first attempt was with my three boys and I was pregnant with no 4. In the morning, getting ready one falls and lip starts to bleed. here I am thinking this is what going out is like... Got there and it's morning tea, I place one at the table with some food but by the time I went to collect second child the first was behind me.. Despite all saying they would help, they didnt so we didnt return. I had a girlfriend come over today and say "so what do u do during the week?" I had a laugh and said every day is fairly similar. I get through the morning then two will have a nap and I will relax with the other two.
I also dont talk to my mother and since our split this year I hear she has lovely furniture that most certainly is not triplet proof, as seemed to be an issue for the past 3 yrs. Well you gotta love them [kids not the relatives] and I hope I wasn't too eager enrolling them into 4 yr old kindy at the start of the year!!!!
My best advise is please find someone to look after the kids and SHOP... Even for nappies, just to get out of the house alone.

I agree that it's difficult for others to understand what it's like to have 2 or more at the same stage. Eleanor hasn't been well the last few days so she's been sleeping a lot and it has been soooo easy having just one toddler to look after - the other day I actually did the crossword while Harriet sat next to me and "read" a magazine - now that would not happen when they're both up!!

Maree

Eleanor 1/8/03
Harriet 1/8/03

Hi there, Although I have had lots of family support,(It must be extra extra tough for those who don't get any support or breaks from their babies) I have found it very hard to maintain contact with my mothers group, I feel like I've missed an opportunity but it was often just too hard! (to get from the car , feeding, restictive routine etc) i'm hoping that playgroup or kinder might be easier to meet other Mums. I hope it get easier for you, hopefully @ 3-4yrs old. Chin up I'm sure your doing an awesome job..Cheers Caroline

people always have an opinion on twins especially when they know absolutely nothing about them..As for those who say but I know exactly how you feel. My reply everytime is "oh really so you brought 2 home at the same time as well" hhmmm they shut up & give filthy looks.

but it really agravetes me when they leave and you really need a sounding board a whinge and they are no longer there. We have lost quite a few friends who we have visited & the girls have basically wreaked havoc on their houses etc. They aren't naughty theyre inquisitive, busy and want to know & touch everything.

Only special people can handle having and living w/ twins it's a hard life but we all do a great job and succeed successfully -grey hairs and all!!LOL