I have 13 week old twin boys and Im having a bit of a rough time at the moment. They are still on 4 hourly feeds (6 hours at night sometimes) but I just am so exhausted.
There is nothing worse than being up at 2 in the morning, being so tired and both of my boys think its playtime and start smiling and cooing at me. You cant not have a little play with them.
My husband's idea of helping me out with the feeds on the weekend (he prentends he cant hear them during the week, cause he has to get up early for work), is to turn all the lights on in the house, turn the television on, yell out - where are the bibs!!(HUHH), same place they always are.
Sorry to carry on- things are getting better. I just need to vent
My birthday is coming up soon- hubby asked what I wanted for my birthday - a nights uninterrupted sleep. He thought I was joking !!


Brayden 28.09.99
Ryan & Khain 14.01.05

Hi Mel
I felt the same - although my girls were on 3hrly feeds and 4 hrs if I was lucky. I was a walking zombie!
I was hoping things got better by the magical "3 months" & my DH isn't much better during the week either (alhough it's partly my fault for trying to be the martyr at the beginning and do it all myself!).

I tried a new idea a friend of mine uses a couple of days ago and it has been working really well. Instead of demand-feeding and letting DH get away with so much, I am taking control!!!
Here's how it works...
* Feed bubs just before DH comes home (like minutes!) and give him a baby to bath as he walks in the door. After bath, put babies to bed at 7ish. Enjoy dinner with DH (wishful thinking sometimes?!)...
* At 9.30pm do a 'dreamfeed' with DH (don't change nappies and essentially feed bubs in their sleep)
* This way, 9.30pm is still early enough for him to help, you go to bed at 10-10.30ish and are guaranteed 3 hrs or so sleep. After a few days, the sleep after the dreamfeed has lengthened to 5 hrs and I only get up once in the wee hrs of the night. The day feeds are still only 3hrly at the moment, but nights are better!
Good luck


Lisa
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[color=Blue]Mel, I just wanted to send you a big cyber ((((((((((hug)))))))))) and tell you it will get better.

Gotta say that my DH was pretty good in the night feeding department, but he also took quite a bit of time off work when the boys were born.

By the way, I love your boys names....... sort of similar to mine, Ryan and Kai!!

Take care, Vanessa

It gets better - trust me at almost exactly 3 months! My two are 4 months and on 4 hrly feeds. They are bottle fed - at about 3 months, and 2 days they slept through - but I made them. My hubby is wonderful and he feeds them in the morning before work at around 6am - he noticed that they were not drinking much, and asked me how much they were drinking at 2am - I said oh they scoff it down - so we gradually reduced what they were drinking at that feed, until it went down to 50ml - they were having just over 100ml, then 80ml, then the 50ml, and then miracuously two days later slept through. I had been trying to make them drink more during the day so they could sleep through, but by reducing the 2am feed, they automatically drank more during the day and then slept through. My hubby is wonderful but - when i was getting up at 2am he'd do the 6am, and the 10pm feed. he is also home at 5pm, and helps me feed and bath, and the twins are in bed by 6pm usually. Gives me all evening with him.

Mel - it does get better. I remember feeling like walking dead most days. My two were on 3 hourly feeds, but because the only way I could cope was to separate the feeds - e.g. feed one, then the next 30-45 mins later, LOL by the time I finished it was nearly time for the next feed. Luckily mine were sleeping through by (I think) 3-4 months.

Because we were living in a small mining town out in the middle of whoop whoop, I had no family out there for support, and a hubby who, unfortunately, worked 6 days a week. He'd try his best to help me when he got home, and on the weekends, but for the most part it was all up to me. I remember feeling the same way you are now.

Take heart, chin up, everything will be easier. LOL easier said now, but you'll see. Hope it all goes well for you - lovely names by the way. Take care.

Maryanne

my three angels
Ryan 5 1/2, Nicole & Kyle 4

I think every mother of multiples reading your post knows exactly how you feel. It really will get better but it is so hard to function when you're tired. Fortunately DH always got up and did the night feeds with me (the girls were bottlefed exclusively from 6 weeks). One piece of advice I'd add to the previous posts is not to play with the babies during the night feeds. I know they're irresistible but I think you need to teach babies the difference between night and day. During night feeds we had dim lights, no talking (to each other or the babies) and no playing. It was up, feed, change and back to bed. I also think the dream feed is a great idea - we did that at 10 every night (woke them and gave them a quiet bottle). The girls slept 8 hours from 10 weeks and then we dropped the dream feed by reducing the amount they drank and increasing the day amounts and they slept 12 hours from 4 months - what a day that was!

Good luck and hang in there - it will improve!

Maree

Eleanor 1/8/03
Harriet 1/8/03

Mel the other girls have really said it all, but I just wanted to say I know how you feel too LOL!!
I was having the same sorts of problems as you when my bubs were the same age & I was absolutely exhausted - my DH also was no help as he is a postie and gets up at 4.30am - he also rides a motorbike to deliver so I didn't want him doing that wihtout a good nights sleep.
At about 5 months of age I introdiced the the rollover or dreamfeed and used to do it around 10 / 10.30pm. I have no doubts introducing this helped my bubs sleep through the night. Ella was ready to sleep through anyway & after a week or two she started to refuse to take the rollover feed & has slept through ever since (7pm - 7am). Liam also started refusing the rollover feed however he is still a bit of a bugger and has nights of waking up frequently, I've done a modified version of cc & he goes off to sleep fairly quickly after a quick "shoosh" & pat on the bum - he's usually fully awake by 5.30am most mornings now.

(((((hugs))))) to you -& I know this has been said before too, but it will get better!!
sending you lots of happy sleepy vibes to your bubs!


Jane
Jackson&Riley 16/11/01 Ella&Liam 26/08/04

I've got nothing more to add either, I agree with all of the above especially trying to avoid playing with them during the night (you are doing better than I did if you still want to play with them in the early hours of the morning, cute as they may be I had no desire to play I just wanted to get back to that warm bed of mine!)

Lots of hugs and hope you get that good nights sleep for your birthday you'll feel sooooo much better, but things do get better.... honest!

Edited to add - have to tried to get the red cross to come out, they come for up to 5 hours a week so you could have a sleep during the day, I used to have a long luxurious shower it used to make me feel like a human being again, the lady i had was fantastic.

Heather



This message was edited by Heather on Thursday, 21 April 2005 @ 11:40 AM

Hi Mel
Big hugs to you.............
as all the ladies have pointed out so far it really does get better. I know that does not help your situation at the moment and probably in your state it is too hard to focus on anything past the next feed. The sleep deprivation is outrageuos. You will soldier on and when you reach the other side you will realise how strong it has really made you.
I highly recommend getting help from Red Cross. I know a few ladies who have done that. I used to have my MIL stay at least once a week just to give me one night of uninterupted sleep because honestly when you get that sleep you feel like you can take on the world.
If you can't get help from family go the Red Cross babe. Even if it is only 5hrs that is 5hrs sleep you can get knowing your bubs are in great hands.
And night I would definately try and stop playing with them. They say if they are unsettled at night just go in feed them, but don't talk to them or play with them. They need to know it's sleep time.
Remember this ......... you are NOT alone, you are doing a wonderful job (especially if they are smiling at 2am in the morning), and you are a wonderful Mum.
hope your days are getting easier
Jodi

Hi Mel

It is still early days for me at the moment, but I just wanted to send you big hugs and let you know I am thinking of you.

RACHEL
CHRIS
BARNABY 13
BRODIE AND OSCAR

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Hi there ~ Also early days for us too, we have just got to making the last night feed at 10:30 - 11pm and they are both sleeping through to 5:30 -6am. We have made each night consistant with the night before:
Bath time, feed, play, nap. When its the last feed no play time, cuddles, each gets wrapped told how much we love them and put to bed. We have had a full week of this so far and it seems to be working.
I know it can change in an instant, and I also have my Dh home on holidays still - that support as you say is precious and I will be a wreck when I have to do it 'solo'.

Am thinking of you and sending you hugs - I will possibly be posting a similar question at that stage. Keep up the smiles and love, you are doing a great job as Jodi said! get on to the red cross and get some support during the day and then you can have some deserved sleep. Please let us know how you get on - hugs

Haylie & Phillip
DSD ~ Ebony
Hayden Phillip ~ 21.3.2005
Brooklen Lily ~ 21.3.2005
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