i am expecting no. 2. i am only very early - 7 weeks, but DD knows as she heard us talking and she isnt silly so we couldnt just say no we didnt say that iynwim. so my question is how do you prepeare a child who will be 5 when bubs arrives. as she has always been the baby and has always been an only child, i think it will hit her hard.

has anyone got any suggestions or any things you would do differently next time?
anything is muchly appreciated
thanks in advance

I don't know the answer but am very interested in this topic as I'm planning on TTC #2 this year sometime which will then make a 4.5 - 5yr age gap between my DD & her new sibling too.

I am 7 years older than my sister, so guess this is from my memory 30+ years later!!

My parents really involved me in everything during the pregnancy which I loved. Names, choosing clothes and toys, everything. I felt like Mum, Dad and I were a team, and I felt older and responsible which appealed to me - of course, so much depends on the personality of the child ....

Looking back I was probably an obnoxious, bossy little brat, but my parents were obviously very tolerant ...

One thing they didn't do was prepare me for the reality of a baby. I remember finding the fact that she would sleep all the time and not be an instant playmate very disappointing and disillusioning. There are lots of good books around about having a new baby in the house these days which would help with that.

My eldest daughter is almost 4 years older than her little sister, and she has been amazingly good. I guess we've tried to do the same things as my parents did and seems to be working so far, fingers crossed.

For me, seeing how much my two beautiful girls adore each other has been one of the most wonderful things in my life.

Congratulations and all the best.

I have a 5 year age gap between my DD and DS. We involved DD in the pregnancy, from choosing clothes, to helping us put the cot together, coming to the anatomy scan etc.

Once DS was born we let her hold him a lot, rock him in the bouncer etc. I made sure we still did things that she loved, so we would still get out and about to the park, the swimming pool.

DD adores her little brother. She is nearly 7 now, and she usually gets him up in the morning, makes his breakfast, and plays with him. I think I jagged it!

Involve her as much as you can in everything to do with baby

DD and DS2 have a 5 year age gap and she is always wanting to look after him!

There is a 5 yr age gap between by youngest and the next one. I have to say it has been brilliant! My big kids have been really helpful in looking after their brother. They sing to him, read to him, play with him and even put his dirty nappies in the bin.

During the pregnancy we talked a lot about the baby and what he would be like when he was born. We got out old pics of them when they were babies and talked about what they were like at different ages. We talked about how babies learn things and the sorts of changes that they go through. We made it very clear that while we would all love bubs from the moment he was born, he would in fact be quite boring for quite a long while.

We also tried to prepare them for lots of crying, breastfeeding, cranky grownups etc etc.

I can recommend lots of discussion and setting of expectations.

Good luck. I have found this baby to be the easiest of the lot and that has mainly been due to the help and support that my two big kids have given us

Keen to hear other peoples stories too....
I have a 7.5 year old boy and 37 weeks pregnant with number too.
I can barely remember what it's like to have a newborn lol, so preparing my son for it is hard.
He's helped set up the room and go through names, i've prepared him for the fact that i will be in hospital for a night or two, we've gone through clothes and he's helped buy some some and he's been seeing baby stuff in the house for the last 9 months.
I hope he goes ok when it's actully here.....i think most things he will have to adjust to with time and reality......

We have 5 years between our daughters. I think it is a great age gap! DD is very helpful with the baby. We didn't do anything in particular to prepare her for the baby, she was so excited as soon as she found out.

We make sure that we still do plenty of things for DD that the baby comes along to. Play dates and the like.

I think the challenging time will be in a few months when her sister wants to eat all her toys and has the mobility to get to them!

Wow only a 5 year gap!! I am expecting number 3, with a 16 year gap!!!!!! needless to say it is a BIG surprise to be pregnant

I am five years older than my brother. My sister was in-between. Honestly maybe it would have been a little harder if I wasn't already okay with being a big sister but I remember five years really being the perfect gap.

No competition, nothing to really fight about. We were always close.

I remember being involved in the pregnancy and talking to my mom's stomach and stuff so the baby would "know my voice" - and my mom was pleasant about my name suggestions but thankfully did not use any.

The two-and-a-half gap between my sister and I, and my sister and my brother, seemed much more fraught with tension and bickering. My sister had jealousy-of-new-baby issues, I never did. (They never annoyed me until they were toddlers).

Good luck and congrats.

I agree with the previous posters.

There is 4.5 years between by DD and DS. I have really involved my daughter in everything... she is like a mini mum. She gets in the bath with him every night and washes him; she loves it (until he does a wee and then it's "show over"). My family were also very thoughtful when DS was born and she got many little prezzies so she didn't feel forgotten or left out. I also make sure that we still go out for coffee, just the two of us, our special time - although they need to be really quick outings these days, and in between feeds.

She is soooo in love with her brother (and him with her) and is so thankful that she got her wish for a little brother or sister (she had been asking for one since she was about 1).

Good to read these replies. I am TTC with a 4.5 year old, so gap will be about 5.5 years. My DS has zero interest in babies in general (he's a typical boisterous boy into pirates and superheros), so I am just hoping that the idea of being a big brother will appeal to him. Thanks for all the tips from me too.

I'm currently 12 weeks with my second and DD is 7yrs old. I think its a great age gap. DD has already asked if she can help dress then and change nappies. I dare say she will also want to steer the pram too. I've made sure I have included her in everything. She came with me when I found out I was pregnant, and I also took her with me for an ultrasound. My 20 week ultrasound she will definately be coming too. I just pick her up early from school and take her along. Last time she held my hand the whole time and kept kissing me so its lovely to have the love there too. I'll think you'll do great