we met some friends today DD has never met before. they have a 8yo DD who has lovely red hair and lots of freckles. all the kids were drawing and sharing texters and paper. DD was the youngest and wasn't getting a fair deal and in her frustration she said: you have spots on your face and i don't!
my god, i was embarrassed. i have no idea where that came from. i apologised to the mum.
i later talked to DD and told her some kids have beautiful red hair like she has brown hair and freckles where the sun kissed them. i reminded her of her favourite cartoon character from shrek - princess fiona who also has red hair and freckles. i don't know how much of it actually stuck in her little brain but i sure don't want her to turn into a little bully.
what would you have told your little one?

i generally just stick to the basic

"we all look different and its not nice to say things like that"

I think you did fine, kids at that age don't have a well developed brain-mouth valve, think yourself lucky it wasn't a comment about a strangers funny eyes/short stature/hairy ears, all of which I've been mortified to have to apologise for at the hands of my oldest who now thankfully at the age of 6 is starting to 'get it'

I have had my son at that age loudly ask me "Why is that man so fat, he's fat isn't he mummy, he's really fat, why is he so fat?". So embarrassing. I have just explained that if he wants to tell me something about the way someone looks he should say it quietly in my ear as if they hear it it might make them feel very sad. He seemed to get this and for a while would whisper in my ear every time he sees an overweight person.

I also always tell him that we never tease someone or make someone feel bad about something they can't change.

They all go through this stage, I think. Don't make a big deal, but should tell them it is not nice to say so.

Once, DD1 visited her uncle's house. She saw one of their neighbours and said: "I know him, he is that hair man. " Very embarrassing too!!!!

We told her everyone has different body and face. Everyone has their own choices about their bodies and faces. Sometime, we even can't choose anything about our appearances.

We told her culture too.
We show her a video about the people living around the world. White, Black, Yellow and Brown. So funny when she saw African women with huge lips. Her eyes were huge.

We told her, Asian men don't have much hair on their body, but caucasian men do. That's different races, that's we are.

She understands a little now. She never say "That Hair Man" since.

I think you handled it really well.

My DS1 at about the same age blurted out "look Mummy that man is all dirty", when he saw the blackest person he had ever seen before. I apologised to the man and then had a chat about skin colour and difference.

Ok I'm confused... why was it not nice pointing out he had spots? Freckles aren't a bad thing and she was merely pointing them out and commenting she didn't have any. By apologizing and bringing it up with her won't she now think there is something wrong with 'spots'?