Hi all,

DH and I are TTC#2 at the moment and we are up to cycle 26 with no luck as yet. DS took 48 months and lots of fertility treatment with a loss of twins during that time (BFP at cycle 24, twins loss at 8 weeks)

You know I cant help it but I just cringe when I hear the words "we decided to try and first month got BFP" I know it is complete and utter jelousy that gives me these feelings BUT I keep wondering about how nice it would be to just get a BFP with out spending thousands of $$$ and just to POAS and get the suprise of YAY A BFP!

Just a bit of a vent and need to hear that I am not the only one feeling like this, I just want a sibling for my DS and I am getting a bit older now I feel like my clock is ticking......

Just wanted to say you're definitely not alone. And it's completely normal and OK to feel upset/jealous abut other people's pregnancies. No one can tell you how to feel, everyone is different.

Hang in there.

Yes I do wonder.... Out of my 8 girlfriends only one other took a bit longer to conceive, I think she took 8 months. All the others took one to two months and it just sucks... I feel alone and left out when they talk about it and none of them really understand to total frustration and heartbreak of TTC for ages, its hard.

You're certainly not alone, hang in there.

xx

You are definitely not alone there.

Just had that happen to me recently, my hairdresser wasn't going to start trying until may, but then she wasn't sure how long it would take so they started in Jan and Ta-Da, pregnant first go!

And here we are, still trying after 18months and a m/c....

I'm starting to think it's all more than odd tbh. We have sex and we don't fall pregnant. When we fall pregnant it ends with a MC. I don't really understand how it "just happens" for others. The odds really are not stacked in favour of conception and yet it continues to happen for others and seemingly easy. I wonder if we're not having enough sex LOL.

It would be pretty amazing.

Our son took 18 months, but we are up to 3.5 years now trying to conceive number 2 and have basically given up.

I can cope with not being pregnant again or having another newborn but our son not having a sibling breaks my heart.

It would be utterly amazing to get those 2 pinks lines come up with absolutely no heartbreak.... not sure if Id believe it....

Yep I hear ya......

I haven't even given birth to this first bub yet and I'm dreaming and hoping that this PCOS will sort itself out and I get a surprise BFP for the next bub. I really don't want to have to deal with fertility specialists and injections again.

yes it slightly bugs me OP
but what REALLLY annoys me is BIL and SIL complaining about the anaesthetists bill ( of 1000$) for their second CS in 2 yrs and that we "wouldn't know anything about the costs involved with having children and should count ourselves lucky we dont have to part with any large sums of money just to get a kid into the world"

my answer of "well it costs us a minimum of $450 up to about a grand a month to TRY to have a baby, BIL, and so far its been 3 yrs-- you do the math"

that shut everyone up ( 13 IL's) who were sympathising with the poor dears
and actually had MIL and FIL offer us some money lol


bazinga it often does for some reason

Oh, such a wonderful dream. My favorite. We would have an almost two year old and be about to have our second, had I been fertile. We could go to Europe in style for 2-3 months with what we have paid to try and have one baby. I often have little fantasies about what could have been. I also imagine what could have been if Clomid had worked, or if OI had worked and we hadn't had to do IVF, or if IVF had worked the first time or if I hadn't had my first miscarriage, or if I was still pregnant with my second. It's never ending what ifs with infertility. You're definitely not alone.

People just dont get unless they've experienced it do they! Good on you for your reply to them

I know what it feels like because it happened to me like that the first time. That's why it is such a shock that after 18 months + we are still trying for #2.
I look back and think how naive and smug I was back then. Now I've had a walk in different shoes and it has made me see things very differently.

jorgo - I admire your strength in responding to your in-laws the way you did.

mum2seth - I wonder all the time. Been TTC since Nov 2008... cant believe its getting on two and a half years now

I'd also love to be normal and get excited when I do a pregnancy test and its a BFP - after recurrent miscarriages, it means nothing to me now. I just feel flat and if there is any emotion, it's anxiety.

You're definitely not alone in your dream - here's hoping it becomes a reality for all of us very very soon

faith its not strength- my BIL ( well this one- i have 4 others) is an ASS and i will say and do almost anything that proves what an idiot he is and makes him feel like shiite LOL because he likes to put everyone down and belittle them.
but i'm very straight talking and its the truth and i'm sick of people with twice our annual income b**ching that they dont have enough money to cope with what they chose as a life
*shrugs*


plus i really dont care who knows what about ttc
its not something ( well shouldnt be something) that is top secret
and shouldnt be hush hush and something we grin and bear through

its a fact of our lives ( as shiite as that is)
and people are really only showing their true colours with what they say when they KNOW all the details
and especial with my IL's if your not direct and tell them to STFU they dont 'get it'

People arent mind readers they cant know what their saying will upset you unless they know your going through it, and actually have a couple functioning brain cells but my FIL SILS and BIL have proven how much they dont care about their brother and son and his feelings


i'm actually over the whole thing atm lol

So, the thing is, I don't belong here but some of my family, friends & patients have been in your situation/s and I'm really feeling for you......such hope!

A few things I've learnt from all of them (...probably most of you know about them already, but for those who may not...) ..naturopathic / environmental health suggestions that may be helpful for you as it was for some others.........

Hormone disruptors.......
- avoid plastics - many leech phthalates into the product which are a hormone disruptors
- avoid perfumes unless they are approved essential oils safe during pregnancy......many / most perfumes contain hormone disruptors
- sugar (...is a hormone disruptor and consumption is implicated in pcos) - ideally avoided
- avoid canned and packaged food
- have someone else fill your petrol tank or using glues, so you don't inhale the gas......
- avoid buying new furniture, sealing floor boards, and buying a new car.......all out-gas.....

- maintenance of a healthy weight and avoiding / reducing alcohol consumption may also be helpful.

- designating "time out" for ttc, to give yourselves a mental break and
- meditation & yoga for calming stress

Recommended viewing: Men in Danger....... Environmental Effects on Fertility - SBS 2009

Wishing you good luck and I will be remembering you all from this thread in my meditation. xx

Arrrgh!!! How very frustrating!!!

Oh I would love to suddenly wake up one day, take a test and find myself pregnant like many of my friends and relatives.......... and not have a care in the world, now that would be nice...

It would be sheer bliss. I'd often see posts on this forum from people questioning 'if we should have a second/third child'. When I was in the midst of IVF and thought how I've give anything to just be able to discuss it like it was making the choice over which colour car to buy, and not the dread that comes with gearing ourselves up for another cycle and heartache (and money to outlay). I also am actually left wondering in what other species a male will leave the female because IVF failed, as this is what my dh did to me.

Would love it to "just happen". After nearly 6 years of trying on and off (and two different husbands!), with only one pregnancy in that time, I am getting sick of hearing about people "accidently" getting pregnant or falling within the first couple of months.

I hear you Libbylu. Dd was a one time oops. Now I can't get pregnant!

I used to think it wouldn't happen to me because I'm healthy, have regular cycles etc. Wrong.

TinCat,

This is exactly how I feel about my DD. She's almost 3 now and has already been asking when her little baby sister/brother will be here. We've been TTC for 15 months now and have just started a clomid/IUI cycle this month.
It's so hard to see my friends add to their family so easily.

It breaks my heart to think I can' give my DD a sibling.

It's awful and completely normal to feel envious of those who don't even need to try....Has anyone else found that people are very insensitive towards those with secondary infertility?
I know how blessed we are to have DD - but it's still an awful journey for other reasons.

I've lost count of how many friend's baby showers I've been to over the past 12 months - my happiness for them is always overshadowed by how depressed I'm beginning to feel.

I guess hope is the best thing to cling to ... hang in there. Feeling your pain too.

I am constantly amazed at the insensitivity of those who are meant to love us.... Yeah right, count yourself lucky .....

Hope it works out well for you, in the meantime

Eek! Where does that kind of attitude come from? I am really shocked.

As for us, sex = pregnancy just does not equate. I mean it really does not enter my mind that people can just decide to get pregnant ... and do it. For us, pregnancy = tests, tests, tests, needles, hormones, ultrasounds, pain, discomfort and tears. Repeat. But fortunately, eventually joy.

lol it comes from BIL being a complete d*ck LOL
and if you knew the man you wouldnt be at all shocked lol

BIL pretty much hates me ( its mutual) while professing that he in no way dislikes me i'm just unsociable and take everything as "a dig at me" and its all my fault Dh doesnt wanna spend time with him at all (cause they were rather close before i was around- more then 10 yrs ago- and long before he was THIS much of an ass! lol )

Hi ladies I found out tonight that a friend of mines wife is expecting.......and my girfriend told me just blurted it out I know this sounds funny but it looked like she got some warpted pleasure telling me..... I have felt gutted since she told me so upset yelling at DH for no reason......I was imaginging what it must have been like for them to get pregnant iv run away with myself thinking she was prob on the pill and just stopped and the just desided to have a baby and bingo it just happened.........

it hurt and i feel sooooo stupid and guilty why cant it be that easy for us!!!!?????

I dont want to imagine I want to be them!!!!

sorry for he blurt but thanks for listerning xxxx

I did this and it took 14 months.