(Long Post)Are they Twins? (while looking at the babies)
* No, they were just born at the same time.
* No, they just look a lot alike.
* No, they're monkeys.
* One is a twin, and one isn't.
* Yes they are.
Twins? What are they?
* Human.
* Babies.
* $6000 in tax deductions.
Are they identical?
If fraternal Boy/Girl...
* Yes.(followed by rolling your eyes and walking away)
* Yes, until we change their diapers.
* They used to be, but they're getting over it.
* Not below the waist!
* No, but they have identical parents.
If Identical
* No, they are half sisters/brothers.
* We're not sure yet.
Are they Siamese?
* No, we left the cats at home.
Can you tell them apart?
* No.
* Sure, the girl is an inch longer than the boy.
How do you tell them apart?
* We don't worry about it, we figure that since they're identical, one is as good as the other.
* We used to paint their names on the bottom of their feet. But since that kept wearing off, we weighed them and found out that the boy is a pound heavier than the girl.
* We call the Psychic HotLine and they can tell us.
* Parents can always tell. At least that's what we delude ourselves into believing.
* We're not sure yet.
They LOOK different!
* It's easy, they have different names.
* I don't know who is who, but I love them the same.
How do you KNOW they are twins?
* I gave birth to them.
* They aren't twins. They were born 3 months apart (its a scientific miracle)
* No, they are not twins. One was born by my wife. The other by my girlfriend. Go figure - everyone gets along so well.
Oh, your husband is babysitting your twins?
* My husband does *NOT* "babysit" our children! When he watches them, he is parenting, just as I am parenting when I watch them.
* No, Babysitters get paid. I do this because I love to.
* Babysitting is when you watch somebody else's kids!
My goodness you're getting big. -or- You're so huge! -or- You're bigger than you were last week! (to Pregnant Mother)
* You know what, all this weight puts me in a weight class above you and I could kick your butt if I wanted to, so don't pi** me off!
* Since I'm pregnant and have all these raging hormones, I'd have an air-tight defense if I killed you, and I probably wouldn't even go to trial!
* As if I am supposed to get smaller??? This is pregnancy, not Jenny Craig!
"You really have a great figure for triplets".
* What's that supposed to mean? Is it good, period, or is it only acceptable when considering the fact that I gave birth to "triplets"?
How were your babies conceived?
* Sex. Lots and Lots of Sex.
* How did you conceive yours?
* It was buy one, get one free day
* I ate a lot of broccoli.
* Look both ways, lean forward, and whisper in their ear "Turkey Baster"
Did you have help conceiving them?
* Yes, God.
* No, my hubby just threw his pants on the bed....
* Yes, but we promised them that we would keep their names out of the paper.
I heard you are having twins. I don't know whether to offer my congratulations or my condolences.
* Congratulations would be prefered.
* Congratulations for the twins, and condolences for the loss of your common sense.
Wow, Double Trouble (while first noticing the twins)
* Nope, Double the smiles, hugs, laughs, and joy.
*They are Angels. Why were/are your children trouble?
* Double the Pleasure, Double the Fun, with the Doublemint Twins.
I don't know how you manage.
* Like we have a choice?
* We manage just fine.
* I don't know how you can call yourself a real parent, raising only one at a time.
* We're not wimps, like all those parents of singles.
Do twins run in your family?
* They are only 20 weeks old, they can't even sit up yet.
* They do now!
* Yes, they run up the stairs and down the halls!
* First time blessing.
* These two do!
How did you end up conceiving twins?
* We had sex twice in one night
* I ate a lot of Brocolli
You must have had those two very close together.
* Yes, try two minutes.
Were you taking fertilily drugs?
* If you'll forgive me for not answering, I'll forgive you for asking.
We'd like to take your daughters/sons home with us.
* You don't need to. My wife and I made them at home. You and your wife can make some, too!
Boy, I'm glad that happened to you and not me.
* We're glad it happened to us, and not you, also.
Oh! An instant family!
* No, it took nine months, just like singles do.
Which one came first?
Twins! You sure must have your hands full!
* Yes, we sure do, but better full than empty.
* Yes, but not as full as our hearts.
** Our Twin Boys Are Due On The 27th Of May 2005 **
