Hi Everyone,

At the moment I am so sick of people telling me how I should be dealing with my kids. It's mainly when I am out but at the moment it seems as though everyone has advice on how to look after twins , even though they don't have them and even though I have not even asked for their advice.

I am dealing the best way I can but people are so quick to judge, T
The Comments:
"There too old for dummies take them off them" They are only two and if it keeps them from biting each other they can have them forever LOL!

"Using harnesses it treating them like animals and I would never use them " Well thats fine I thought I would never use them either but it's better than having two dead kids.

"Shouldn't they be talking yet" Once again they are only two.But they do look like they are three.

"I know exactly how hard it is mine are two years apart" I don't know what it's like to have two close together so please don't tell me it is the same.

"My children never bit so why are yours" I wish I knew why! but they do and yes we are trying everything we can to stop them (didn't help Tom had a bite mark on his cheek.)

I love when people are interested about twins and have a chat I have put up with all the twin questions and I have dealt with that pretty well always smiling even when people do ask the stupid questions.

But now I wish some people WOULD KEEP THEIR OPINIONS TO THEMSELVES. I don't care what people think to themselves but wish they would just keep it that way to themselves.

sorry this was such a long vent but I am laughing at what I wrote and use humour to get through this as with multiples everyone must agree you have to have a sense of humour to remain sane.

Thanks for listening (well reading ) I do feel heaps better now.









Kristy

DS 8
Twin Boys 2

Oh that drives me insane too!

The thing is I would never EVER make comments to others about the way they choose to parent their children, especially not total strangers. I might think it but I would never say it! So I just don't understand why people are so quick to tell you what you 'should be' doing, assuming that they know more about your situation than you do. To me it's just plain rude!

I am learning to have some quick come backs up my sleeve and well all else fails I've started to say things like 'don't you think that is a rude question?' or 'that sounds a bit judgemental don't you think?'.

And on the dummy thing I can not believe how many total strangers want to tell me how much of a bad parent I am for letting the girls have a dummy! Even when they were tiny I had a middle aged man stop me and tell me that giving them dummies would ruin thier teeth, stop them from talking and was just a crutch for a slack parent!!!!!! I just wanted to cry as we were not long home from hospital and we'd tried very hard to avoid the dummy but it was the only way we could get them to suck. I wanted to scream at this guy that I wasn't a blooyd slack parent that it was either dummy or NG tube but instead I just kept walking.

I just wish people would perhaps stop and think before they make presumtious comments that maybe there is more to it than what they see.

Oh I have gone on a bit with my own vent... sorry about that! And on the other hand I did have a lady walk past me the other day and say quietly in my ear 'your babies are just gorgeous, you must be a wonderful mum'. aaahhh that made we want to cry too!

hugs!

Kate

I luckily haven't had those horrible comments said to me, but as a twin mum I understand where you are coming from.

The dummies comment is rude! I took my girls dummies off them just after 2, but that was MY choice! They are your kids & you do what's best for them.

My girls STILL bite each other on a regular basis. So by the sounds, your boys are NORMAL! Hey, biting is a good tactic, you get the toy or thing you want when you bit & the kid drops it. If it works, they will do it (well I haven't been able to find a way to stop mine biting).

I've been waiting for someone to say something to me about my kids wearing a harness. Watch out if someone ever does! My 2 are both runners & I have NO DOUBTS they would run across streets or roads etc & they have NO sense of danger. It's about SAFETY, nothing else. If you don't do it, you'll have people calling you a bad mum b/c you let your kids run in front of a car!


Your 2 sound like normal little boys to me! Keep your chin up & tell yourself you are doing a great job & don't listen to all those STUPID comments!

Another one here SO sick of silly comments.

I had a great comment made to me yesterday by a very close friend that I cant believe.

My DH travels alot and I am left alone with my two boys and the twins. I was telling my so called friend about my achievement of taking all of the kids to the beach on my own. She has two boys the same ages as mine and ONE baby 6 months older than the twins. She simply said "Sometimes you do go on about how hard it is with twins. I mean is it really any different than one baby" OMG is she for real. I just couldnt believe it. The next time she complains about anything to do with her kids, I will have to have a great comeback.

Dolph

Mum to
DS Bailey 5
DS Jesse 3
DD/DS Summer & Taylor 26.5.04

Step-Mum to Elodie & Brooke

Gosh, she doesn't sound like much of a friend!

And for the record I am in awe of you going to the beach alone with your gorgeous four... I am to scared to attempt it alone with just my two!

Kate

Yep, I know exactly where you are coming from. I don't mind advice/suggestions from other twin mums, but it really annoys me when mums of single babies give advice that really isn't applicable to twins! If they thought it through just a little, surely they would realise how inappropriate some of the suggestions are! Then again, I guess you have to live the whole multiples experience to really understand. And NOTHING more annoying than a mum who says 'I had two 12 months apart, that's just the same as twins.' Oh no, it's not!!

Narelle

Narelle 30
DH Craig 31
Identical twins Kelsey & Jenna ,born 19 Sept 2004

Thanks everyone for your fantastic responces and to know that I am not alone in what I think and Feel.

Kate- dummy's are such an issue with strangers isn't it? Why should they care anyway not their problem. Would have been horrible when the old guy told you why he thinks they should not have dummy's. I too have felt like crying when people make some comments as they don't know what you have been through.

BusyB- Oh what fun to have biters isn't it! I was talking to twin mum today and she said "my boys don't bite each other" then her hubby came over and said yes they do.(she had totally forgotton). My harnesses have been my lifesaver didn't take them today and they ran everywhere.

Dolph- I have had people say to me that two can't be much harder I feel like slapping them of course it is!! People can be so insensative and when hubby is away it is harder still. My habby usually works away and some people really don't understand yet they complain all time and only have one child and hubby home.

Narelle- isn't funny how people love to compare one of my friends had two 17months apart and she told me that it would be harder as she had babies for longer as mine were out of the way and she would have to deal with a toddler and a newborn. I couldn't believe what she said so I just said "well you chose to have two close together I didn't"

I had a comment today by an elderly women she said"you must be a great mum they are gorgous little boys and you look like such a happy mum" I was so proud yet felt quite emotional and at the same time they were running everywhere LOL

Hope everyone has a great weekend

Kristy

DS 8
Twin Boys 2

Oh my .. I don't feel so bad now! I can't really offer any advice .. but only to say .. I know how you feel! Oh and BTW .. there is 23 months between my dd and my twins .. it is nothing like having twins .. lol!

And Narelle .. I am with you with the 'I have 2 children 12 months apart .. I know what it is like' .. this is the one comment that drives me crazy! Uh huh is about the politest reply at the moment!

Smile...
Fiona

Gabi 20/04/02
Caleb and Declan 30/03/04

There are definately some idiots out there. My girls go to swimming lessons & as you will all appreciate it is so hard trying to get multiples into anything together.

My SIL suggested I take one girl one day & the other the following -I looked at her quite mistified & said where do you think I should hide her while I'm out w/ the other -in the cupboard??

Seriously, I think the people who have the most to say are those w/ no children, or one child. They will never know what we go through on an hrly basis & how emotional we can get over what they think they HAVE to tell us..

Bring on those people who think we are wonderful & so are our children.

I had to laugh at this one. When I was trying to book my girls in for swimming lessons we got this suggestion. A friend of mine also with twins got 'Why don't you do lessons with one at 10 and the lessons with the other at 10:30?' What she was supposed to do with the other one mystified us too!! LOL! If you don't have multiples you just don't get it.

Take care,
Mel

Its funny - to read but then it happens to me!!! Its like seeing the future, knowing that soon someone is going to *give* us their advice.....our poor little darling are not even here yet! Heaven forbid when they arrive, I will get some ear plugs....

How am I supposed to know now - what school they will go to?
Will I put them in the same class?
How will I cope with swimming lessons?
Will they go to day care separatly to give me a break?? LOL

Come on out babies - we have some heads to turn!!!!!!LMAO...


Bree~28
After 3 Years our Double Blessing "Suprise" Twins are Due in April 2005
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