Hi all ,

My friend had twins at 31 wks on Saturday and this is the public system for you they have kicked her out today due to lack of beds ( Tuesday ) so she is one devistated to have to leave them ,
The poor thing is not coping very well , she is recovering from an emergancy CS and her milk has not come in yet I am fuming they sent her home grrrrrrrr ,

Good thing is they are doing well ,both were 3 pd born the boy has started on a little milk today , and the girl is getting over a colapsed lung but she is doing good and they are pumping the vitamins and Antiboitics into her .both are on Oxygen still .

Is there anyone who has had twins at this gestation , and is there any advice I can give her to help her cope , books to read etc . these are her first children and it took her 3 goes at IVF to conceive them so she has had a real hard time so far .

I am hoping to Give her the replies here printed out might lift her spirits a bit , I feel so sad for her to have to leave her precious babies at hospital


Many thanks Renee



[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v260/reneej/signature.bmp[/img]

Good Morning - this has made me sad to read this post! That is aweful what has happened to your friend.

Firstly pass on all our CONGRATULATIONS for having two healthy, good size babies! Then congratulate her for the remarkable job she did carring them and getting through what sounds like a traumatic birth etc.

I am at 31 weeks and 3 days now, so I cant offer any advice in the way of milk etc, but wanted to let you know that I am thinking of her and her b/g twins!
It sounds like they may be in Special care for a little while, so visiting every day and staying there for as long as she wants is possibly all she can do until they are deemed healthy enough to come home.

There is only one positive I can see - and this is my own opinion of course, she is now up and about, although forced, she may find it will assist with her recovery period. When her little darlings are ready to come home, she will be fit and well, with some sleep in tow to give them the best start to being *home* with her!

{{{{{hugs}}}}} to her and also a huge {{{{{HUG}}}} to you for being such a wonderful and supportive friend to her - she will need you and its lovely of you to be there!



Bree~28
After 3 Years our Double Blessing "Suprise" Twins are Due in April 2005
<a href="http://www.snugglepie.com"><img border="0" src="http://www.snugglepie.com/tickers/tdb.php?tid=35562"></a>

Hi

This will be a quick post as my girls are trying to help me type but my girls were born at 29 weeks and I also had one with a hole in her lung - pnuemothorax or collapsed lung. It can all be really scary and overwhelming but it sounds like they are doing pretty well and were both good sizes.

I don't have much useful advice to give except for her to take advantage of the support and help offered by the NICU unit or SCN her children are in and if she wants to breast feed get on top of expressing as soon as she can. There is usually lots of nurses, case managers and social workers avaialbe through the NICU that can help the parents in lots of ways even if the delivery ward wasn't so helpful in sending her home before she was ready. What hospital are the babies in?

As a friend I think the best help you can give is to just be there. There might not be anything physical you can do to help and you might not even be able to say anything to make it easier but just let her know you are there to help in anyway she likes. Ask her if there is anything she'd like done - maybe some dinners cooked so she doesn't have to worry, perhaps someone to drive her to and from the hospital or have lunch with her there to give her a break? Also remember to celebrate when they feel ready, I really felt cheated in a way as most of our family and friends never really celebrated the girls birth, they got hardley any cards and less gifts... so maybe a bunch of flowers to remind her what a good mum she is would be nice!

Also check out the BBE thread there are lots of very supprotive wonderful people there who are only too happy to help. If you have any other questions or whatever please feel free to email me at
katespaces@yahoo.com.au

hope that helps!

Kate

Your poor friend. I had my boys (many moons ago) at 32 weeks. They did very well, and i was a midwife who was used to premmies. But i still remember going in to visit at the hospital - whatever time i went it would be rounds, when you were kicked out for 20 mins or so. If i rang up to say i was coming in to visit, they sounded soooo busy i felt like i was wasting their time, and if i didnt ring someone would have bathed the babies 2 mins before i arrived! Tell your friend not to drive over any speed bumps the day her milk comes in - so painful i rremember it even now
Your friend should make use of all the facilities offered for breastfeeding mothers, scn support groups, premmie groups etc. I hired a breastpump from a company over the phone (phone numbers are usually available from the scu). It is often hard to keep your milk up to scratch when you are pumping for a long time. Unless your friend is 'United Dairies' then she will need to rest a lot (in between visits to the hospital) drink and eat well. Also when pumping its best to start and finish pumping by hand expressing milk. Its a bit fiddly but the milk is stimulated more by hand expressing. Its often nice to have a friend or relative to come with you when you're visiting the babies, cos they dont have a lot to say in those humidicribs! and after a trip there its nice to have someone to talk to and have a drink with and hang around. Once your friends babies have a sucking reflex she will be able to put them to the breast, and that will make it all seem more worthwhile. Once you can get them out to bath and to feed they seem like your own! Tell your friend to take things easy, its a bit depressing sometimes with all the hormones, and all the running around to the hospital and having to leave them each time. It can also be a bit hard when some of the other babies arent doing so well - everyone feels it. Feeding is such a pain when they are in hospital. My boys were tubed till the day they left the hospital! They wouldnt touch a bottle till they were 6 months old. If it wasnt a boob, then put it down the tube and let us sleep! Lazy little suckers! Hope you friends babies do as well. Ali

Hi, my girls were born at 32 weeks almost *gasp* 6 years ago.

It too was an emerg. c section and yep I was kicked out early too......oh don't get me started on that!

Like the other girls have said, the NICU and SCBU are great supports and have such wonderful staff. They all understand what you are going through and don't think it is weird if you just stand there crying for 6 hours (for example!)

Let your friend know that even though every day feels like a marathon, this is such a small amount of time out of her babies lives. She will have the rest of her and their lives to make wonderful memories with them. (in fact some of my most precious memories are about my teeny tiny babies) In hindsight the time does go quickly but at the time each day takes forever.

My girls are nearly 6 and for the life of me I don't know where that time has gone. I feel like it was only yesterday I was sitting on my bed expressing milk, left right and centre for them and spending hours and hours everyday by their cribside gazing at their beautiful faces.

Try to keep lots of bits and peices. I have a tiny BP cuff, their heart monitor leads, name bands, names from the cribs, tiny outfits (strange to look at them and a photo of them wearing it.......it brings it home how small they really were)

Rest up. It is fun bringing them home but also hard work.

Accept help from friends and family.

Stuff the housework.......when they sleep, you sleep.

Don't stress if BFing isn't working........do what is best for your babies at the time. Having happy, healthy babies and a HAPPY mum is the most important thing.

Try to listen to the positives that the DRs and staff tell you rather than dwell on the negative bits.

Try not to look too far into the future. Set one or two week limits rather that 2 months.........2 months can feel like an eternity thinking that far down the track.....

Good luck.........pm me if you need to



Amanda (previously known as amandamum)

Georgia and Kelsey 26.3.99
Piper 1.7.04

No advice to give but Congratualtions on your friends new baby boy and girl. Give her all our best. Her & babies are in my thoughts & prays.. {{{hugs}}}

My girls were born at 30 weeks in 2002.

I had one baby here & one in Brisbane. I also had a c section & was kicked out of hospital. My milk also never came in! I was still able to breastfed though.

When we were in Brissy, I found the hospital to be good EXCEPT I always had to ASK for info & help! I had to ASK for someone to show me how to use a pump, no one bothered to show me & this was day 6!

I found the best help was through ABA. They were fantastic. Here's a link to their website http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/index.html

This is a link for their help line, which I used a fair bit once we got home.
http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/products/counselling.asp

I'd also suggest that your friend hire an electric pump for using at home if she wants to breastfeed. These are a lot better than hand pumps & better if you are feeding more than one baby.

Tell your friend try not to stress too much. Easier said than done! Ask your friend what ways you can help. Maybe cooking some meals would be a great help.

If your friend were not a member of EB I would encourage her to join. EB is my biggest support & help with questions about premmies & twins.

I hope I have helped. It sounds like your friends’ feelings are completely normal as a mum of preemies. It's hard walking out & leaving your babies with people you don't know. It's wonderful the day they finally come home.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask

some advice for your friend....

I would have to agree with what everyone else has posted so far. Focus on getting your milk happening, it is so good for premmies, even if you don't wish to continue bfing it gives them such a good start. Ask as many questions as you need to, if you don't understand something ask until you do, the staff are there to help you as well as care for your babies. Get plenty of rest, sleep at night, let the staff know each day what you wish to do, help with the care of your babies, nappies, washing etc.

One of the best times for me was the Kanga Care. That really helped with the bonding and the breastfeeding for me. I tried to do this daily, with both girls, and together as much as possible. My DH also enjoyed this closeness, even my DD (5 at time) had a go!!!!!

My girls were born at 33 weeks, they required a little oxygen for about a day, then warmth and food. They were good weights at birth and just needed feeding up and to learn how to suckle.

I would cry when I got to the hospital, and cry when I left, cried myself to sleep at night, cried in the shower...basically cried all the time. But the closer we got to going home the better it got...then I cried when we took them home!!!!!! lol It really is a difficult time, just remind yourself that your babies are being given excellent care...and most importantly look after yourself, imagine all that wonderful milk you are producing, feeding those babies and helping them to get stronger. If you are expressing a picture of your babies will sometimes help, or just imagining holding them...worked for me. I can remember driving into the hospital car park one day, thinking about them and BINGO...milk everywhere!!!!!!! Hand expressing is a really good way to get started.

It will get easier, as you get to know the staff too, you will feel more comfortable. You will be home before you know...and you'll wish you had just a few of those staff to help you then!!!!! GOOD LUCK! and congratulations. When you are up to it you should come and join us here at EB - Twins and Multiples.


Sharyn
Mum to Meg14/4/99
Hannah & Josie 22/3/04 (33 wks)
<a href="http://www.tickercentral.com"><img border="0"src="http://www.tickercentral.com/view/2k3/1"></a>
Smile... and the world smiles with you!

Ô