Hi everyone!

To all of you lovely multiple mums - did you find out the sexes of your babies before they were born?

I always thought that I would leave it as a surprise when I thought I was having a singleton, but now I am not sure. We always planned on having two children and since they are coming at the same time! I am reconsidering whether to find out the sexes.

Hubby wants to and I am undecided. My next ultrasound is at the end of Jan so we need to decide before then. Do you think it will spoil the fun by finding out or does it make it easier to plan everything and easier for family and friends when they buy gifts?

Did you tell anyone if you did find out?

TTC since May '03
Clomid Cycle #4 BFP!
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Hi Drew,

Congrats on your twin pregnancy!
We did find out with our twins, we figured out that having twins was enough of a surprise for us. We already had one DD who was 5 at the time and I depserately wanted a little boy so to know ahead of time if we had been having two more girls would have given me time to come to grips with things.
We didn't tell anyone else the sexes though, not even my Mum (who was very put out but I knew she would blab as she can't keep her mouth shut!) The other thing is we didn't feel as though it should make a difference to anyone else anyhow.
We also didn't discuss baby names as we didn't want all the negatives and carrying on that can go with that.
Just for the record you may not be able to find out the sex even if you do decide you want to as twins can be very wriggly and hide behind each other when they want. It took 3 scans to decide fairly safely that twin 2 really was a girl with any degree of certainty.

Goodluck with your decision, and enjoy your pregnancy!

Jo

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://lilypie.com/baby1/050108/2/18/0/+9.5" border=0 /></a>

Yes we did find out the sexes of our three. I'm very impatient though lol! It did make it easier when it came to buying three of everything, and we told everyone what we were expecting.

<font color="#3300FF">Renée - Mum to triplets born at 26 weeks & 4 days on 18 August 2002</font>


<font color="#FF3399">Baby girl due March 30</font>

Yes we have found out the sexes. Being two I just wanted to know, and I love being able to call them by their names already - even though we have kept those a secret. As far as telling any one their sex, I tell anyone and everyone who will listen..........

Rachel
DH Chris
DS 13 Barnaby
Thank you IVF Australia

[img]http://www.snugglepie.com/tickers/tdb.php?tid=35074[/img]
"Two little boys had two little toys........each had a teddy bear"

Yes we found out the sexes of our girls. We knew we were going to have 2 of the same gender, so we thought it might be a lot more helpful in knowing. People gave is HEAPS of things before the girls were born, which was great.

Next time, we won't find out! We only found out b/c we knew it was 2 of the same! We kept their names secret though.

Goodluck

Belinda

Mummy to twin girls born @ 30 weeks Oct 2002

Sure did. Found out one was definately a girl at the 18week ultrasound but not too sure on the other. Next ultrasound, 2 girls (fraternal). We told people one was definately a girl but not sure on the other & kept Tianna's name a surprise.

Cheers

Justine
Nick
[img]http://www.geocities.com/jussy227/eb.txt[/img]

We didn't find out with my son and although it was bloody hard I LOVED the suprise and SO glad I did it. With the twins I felt I had done the waiting/suprise thing and it would be easier to find out with getting ready, especially with 2 more.

Its a tough one, being your first babies.

Congratulations and good luck!
Kellie

Kellie 33
DH 39
DS Jesse 30/5/02 after
9 IVF's
Twins due 24/1/05 after 2 IVF's
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Hi there, I always thought I'd be someone to wait until the birth to find out the sex but I was so blown away at having twins that I just wanted to know what was coming. I'd always wanted a boy and I thought if I had 2 girls it would help to have time to adjust to the idea. I'm really glad we found out earlier as it helped me to feel more bonded to my bump. It's so abstract to think of two new little lives growing inside of you. My husband was so excited that he told everyone straight away. I probably would have prefered to keep it a secret but it did help in the present buying. All the best for your new brood.

Wendy

Just thought I would jump in even though I dont have twins.
We found out at 19 weeks that we are having a girl. We dont have much money, and it enabled me to buy things for the next 6 months second hand and when I saw a special.
Some people had a go at me, but like another pointed out.... at 18 weeks I didn't know, so it was still a surprise.
My DF wanted a boy (I think I did as well), and by finding out, it stopped any split second disapointments on the day.
I dont regret it, it has helped me to bond with the bump anyway.
BTW, if it were a multiple, multiply all of my reasons above by 600.

Brooke

Me (23)
DF (25)
SD (7) No conatct for 4yrs


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[color=Blue]Geese, looks like I'm the odd one out here! We didn't find out the sexes of our babies and for us it was the right decision. It's a very personal thing, so just go with your instincts.

For us it added to the excitement of the day, and it was well worth the wait. We had some Bonds wondersuits in white and yellows for the first couple of weeks and really enjoyed going out and buying some blue and green stuff after they were born. We did their nursery up in a beach theme, that was unisex.

Good luck with your decision! ;p

1st ICSI November '02 successful!
(Ryan & Kai - 29 July '03)

Hi there and congratulations on your twin pregnancy. We found out our sexs of our babies just to make things alot easier to prepare, etc
I was approx 16wks when we found out. I wish you all the best and good luck in what ever you may chose.

No_idea: Looks as though we are joining you in the odd ones out! LOL

We decided not to find out because we decided that before the twins were confirmed. Once the HPT was positive we talked about everything and that was one issue Dh felt in control of. He wants to be there with me when the Doctor says the first baby is a _______ and the next baby is a __________.

Our babies are non-identical so we have a chance of 2 of a sex or one of each. As we have no children we would be happy with either.

Most of my family are going crazy with white, green, lemon and lots of other colours so we are happy with what ever. As for the preparations we have made a nuetral colour theme that will suit either sex and will be confirming the final theme in a few weeks!

I was a little dissapointed not to find out and DH has since said we can find out if I really want to - I just cant do it to him and not knowing is sort of nice. People that ask me think we are crazy but I think its a nice....

Wishing you all the best with the decision and looking forward to getting to know you before the BIG day!



Bree~28
After 3 Years our Double Blessing "Suprise" Twins are Due in April 2005
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We also didn't find out what sex the babies were...

I think it's a really personal decision and I can see the pros and cons on both sides and I've heard every argument for and against as I didn't want to know and DH did!

I had many varied and often stupid reasons for not wanting to know... my biggy was that I had a real mental blank about having girls. I really really wanted to have boys (for a variety of stupid reasons) and I was having a hard enough time accepting that there was two in there and worrying about that I didn't want to worry about how I'd feel if they were girls. I knew the minute they were born that I wouldn't give a care what sex they were, and ofcourse I didn't, so it madde total sense to me not to find out... though looking back now I sound like a lunatic!

I also have this mental picture of when you have a baby one of the big things you do is announce what sex it is when it's born... and I knew I couldn't keep it a secret till then!

It was very tempting at times, especially when we knew things were going wrong, but despite having over 12 ultrasounds and DH studying everyone we never did find out what sex they were until they were yanked out of my stomach and even then the OB had to remind DH to have a look!

Whatever you decide will be wright for you!

Kate

Congrats Drew

We found out the sexes as well only as we felt that for us twins was enough of a surprise and I felt that i needed to know. we only thought it was one I didn't want to know as I didn't with my first.(

the guy doing the ultrasounds said that it would have been very hard to hide their sex as at 13 1/2 weeks it was very obvious they were boys

I believe it is a personal decision and deep down I think everyone knows whether they do or don't want to know.

Kristy

DS 8
Twin Boys 23months

Hello

Yes (obvious from my Sig) but we found out what we were having. I didnt find out with my first daughter so thought we would find out this time. It is just as exciting telling people what you are having and I am finding that I am actually getting to do some of the telling, When my daughter was born everybody had been called by my DP or Mum or another relative and I didnt get to hear anybodys responces anyway and was forever asking "Well, what did they say..." I love seeing peoples reactions for myself, plus it also helps for my daughter, she calls them by their names and she got to pick out which cot the girl is going to sleep in and which one the boy is sleeping in, we are hoping it will help her feel a bond with them before they arrive.

<font color=purple> TANIA (25)
<font color=blue> DP (25)
<font color=purple> My Little Princess" Megan (3.5)
<font color=green> TWINS!! Due April 2004 <font color=pink> Lumpy (Girl) <font color=green>and <font color=blue>Bumpy (Boy)

OOPS, at least I have the right year in my Sig now... All Better!!

<font color=purple> TANIA (25)
<font color=blue> DP (25)
<font color=purple> My Little Princess" Megan (3.5)
<font color=green> TWINS!! Due April 2005 <font color=pink> Lumpy (Girl) <font color=green>and <font color=blue>Bumpy (Boy)

Yes we found out. We probably would not have if it had only been one baby.

We told my mum who was furiously knitting lots of pink clothes and blankets, and my MIL to keep it even. I also told my EB due in Feb group. We kept the names a secret despite lots of people trying to trick us into spilling them. It was nice to have that little secret between us and the boys.

To be honest, I probably would have needed the adjustment time, between finding out and the birth, if I had had two girls. So if you have a strong preference either way I would find out so there is no disappointment when they are born.

Belinda



This message was edited by Binna on Thursday, 23 December 2004 @ 11:22 AM

Thank you all so much for your replies and congrats!

There is definitely a mixed bag of thoughts and I guess it is a very personal thing. I agree with both sides...ahhhh!

Lovey - IKWYM about wanting one particular sex. I really want a girl/girls so if it is 2 boys I was thinking that I would need time to adjust. But then again...

No-idea and Bree saying that not knowing adds to the excitement of the day and the anticipation of hearing the announcements also sounds exciting!

I guess like Katef said that when they are born and we hold them for the first time, it will totally not matter what sex they are.

We were told at the 12 wk ultrasound that they are identical as the membrane separating them is thin and it is thicker for non-identical BUT some friends and I did the hair and ring trick (old wives tale I know!) and it showed one of each. A spooky friend of mine also said that mercury is in retrograde at the moment until Christmas which causes computers to have troubles, so the ultrasound could be wrong!!!

Would love to hear any other ideas/opinions stories ladies, keep them coming. This is such fun reading!!

TTC since May '03
Clomid Cycle #4 BFP!
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Hi there Drew - You sound so excited either way so I am sure it will be a hard decision for you.

We also considered getting the sonographer to write the sexes down on a peice of paper and sealing it for us...I heard about that on EB and we considered it. If you have the willpower to get out of the hospital without opening it you are doing well! LOL

I had some friends over yesterday and they were a little cheesed about our decision because they want to buy some things now for the babies, but I told them that the sonographer could be wrong too and I dont want to take that SLIGHT chance. You and DH will be the parents to your two adorable bundles and no matter what sex they are you are blessed and will love them anyway!

There are many things in the world that are out of our control, so if you both feel comfort in knowing then just do it! We could have found out at the 16 week and then the 20 week, but stuck to our guns.....hmmmmmm. I am the weakest one out of the two of us, but like I said before it has to be a decision you make together and sometimes that is the hardest part.

Thinking of you - I posted this same question quiet a while ago after we had made the decision.


Bree~28
After 3 Years our Double Blessing "Suprise" Twins are Due in April 2005
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I just wanted to add to my previous post that my husband initially didn't want to know the sex and we went for a lot of ultrasounds saying that we didn't want to know. At about 24 weeks we did a video of the scan and took it home and couldn't help our curiosity. We guessed what we were having and next time we went for a scan I asked if we should paint one cot blue. I was happy just to know the sex of one of them because I really wanted a boy. My husband in the end was really happy to know what we were having ahead of time. If we had been expecting only one baby, I'm pretty sure I would have waited until the birth.

Cheers , Wendy

Sure did! Couldn't help myself- had to know!! We didn't tell anyone though- just smiled and enjoyed our special secret. Our family all enjoyed the suspense and held a 'guess the sex, size and name' competition. We had a list on our fridge and everyone added their guess. I told everyone that the closest guess would win a free trip to our house to babysit the new arrivals!
Enjoy your special pregnancy,
Maycee

Maycee (35)
DH (33)
Twin boys (4/12/01)
DD (7/10/03)

Bree - Having the sonographer write it on a piece of paper is a very cute idea! But you're right, there's no way I could keep myself from peeking or hubby either! We will definitely be making the decision together...

I think I will be like Maycee and find out but not tell anyone? - but we'll tell them we don't know either so we don't get hassled or people trying to get it out of us.

Lovey, If we didn't already know that they are identical and hence the same sex, the idea of finding out one of them is a good idea. I agree that if I was having one baby, we wouldn't find out, but probably would for the second one, so having two, maybe we will?

I will definitely let you all know what we decide to do! If we do find out the sex, the EB girls will be the only ones that will know, other than us! Our little secret!

Today is my last day at work and I'm not back until after the New Year, so I wish you all a lovely Xmas and New Year! Please keep writing about your decisions about the sex and I will enjoy reading them when I get back, as I am sure everyone else will too!

Merry Santa!! One sleep to go!!!

After 18 months TTC - TWINS!!Due 23 June 2005
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Hi, i'm so impatient and being fraternal twins definately wanted to find out as you have the extra option as to what you are having. We told everyone and i've just asked my sisters if it took away the suprise and they said they couldn't wait to meet their 2 nieces. I felt the same way I had two little girls to look forward to meeting.
Even if you've decided not to. Ask the sonographer to write it down and put it in an envelope. You might find that waiting the extra time is too much and you wont be able to tell on the next ultrasound(most likely). Then if you change your mind you can still find out! good luck

Cheers Rebecca
Me 31
DP 28
Amber and Olivia 08/05/03

Hi There,

Yep another one who found out. - but kept it secret from everyone else. I found out because I hate to pay full price for anything so knowing ahead of time allowed me to shop in the sales and get great gear on special, a must with three kids.

Good Luck with your decision

Mags