Hi everyone,

well, after all my posts lately about how good my boys are and how much they love eachother etc etc, they have obviously decided to prove me wrong !! The last few days they have just been fighting constantly. Pushing eachother, grabbing things off eachother just to cause a fight, yelling and pointing at each other. Mind you there are still lots of loving moments too, but just more fighting than ever before !!

Is it because they are boys? Is it their age (just turned 2)? Is it because I work full time? Or maybe is it because they need some time apart? I kind of think it is a combination of all these things. Mainly though I think it is because they are spending too much time together and are becoming even more aware that they are individuals.

Have or are any of you guys going/gone through the same thing with your twins/triplets? I know there isn't ever an easy answer, but I just don't want them fighting so much !! makes me sad
Any advice would be appreciated !
TIA

Cheers !!
Jane

married to DH 09/09/99
mum to twin boys Jackson & Riley, born 16/11/01

Oh Jane,

Beleive it or not your story is my thoughts to the very last letter!

My 2 are 21 mths, and FIGHT! They constantly want the same thing, there seems to be no placating them sometimes. They push each other over, grab each others hair and pull with no regard to the screams, they hit and kick, but the most frightening is the head butting, they just costantly head butt and keep on butting.

I went to some other twin mums in my MBC with my concerns, thinking that it may be because they are boys, but no some of the girls are even more vicious (sp), one especially was a biter, and drew blood all the time on her twin BROTHER! I asked how they coped, I got varied responses, from leaving them go to work it out themselves, to make them men (?), to stepping in straight away, but I preferred the middle road, and leaving them a tiny while to see if they work it out (rarely do they) then I step in, give positive attention to the one hurt, or that got his toy stolen or whatever. (All of which you no doubt already do).

I was concerned that it was because I had put them in care, which I was feeling guilty over, so the frightening amount of fighting seemed a way I think to validate my concerns. But honestly I don't think it stems from that, maybe they learn some new tricks, but that's about it.

I say to dh all the time that our boys really don't have the phyche to be twins they are in such an only child stage, they want all the attention, all the love and time to the exclusion of their siblings.

I get very sad about it too, so don't feel alone there, and I just wish they would hold on to the special times that they do have. It makes me very tired too, coping with the constancy of it all.

It all stems from a mixture of the things you mentioned, the age, where any child of that age has those tendencies, just not as pronounced as it is on our cases, where we have 2/3 the same age! And they are learning about individuality, and I suppose it would only be normal to get frustrated at this other little person that keeps stealing your time/limelight/toys!

I wouldn't however blame you working full time, you need that time away, and that time away likely makes you all the better equipped to cope with the onslaught! I think it would be happening exactly the same even if you weren't working. JMO

Don't feel alone Jane, you have many "sisters" out there, hope for your sake Jackson and Riley can get their fighting periods back down to a more manageable level.

I have this saying I say every day now that an elderly friend keeps telling me "It's just a stage, this too will pass!!!"

Janelle3
mum to Brooklyn Rose 13/05/99
Twin boys
Ethan Thomas and Asher Lee 15/03/02

Jane,

in answer to your question "does anyone esles twin/triplets do the same thing" hell yeah every day. My boys can be so loving and gorgeous to each other one minute and then try to murder each other the next. I think most siblings whether twins or not go through the fighting stage. There is a fight in my house at least once a day and I usually have to intervene, I do try real hard to stay out and let them sort it out themselves but sometimes when one is sitting on the other I just have to go and be the referee and pull them apart, I tell them to say sorry and to give each other a kiss (ohhh soooo cute-it mealts my heart) and then all is fine.

Unfortunatley I think it just kids being kids, by the way I am SAHM so I don't think that they are doing this because you work, boys will be boys.

Good luck and if you find a solution please let me know.

Vicki
Billy 16/10/2001
Connor 16/10/2001

Just two year old twins, I think Loving one minute, fighting the next. Mine will be having the biggest fight, and I will be so over it, so will put them down for a sleep, and go in ten minutes later and find them asleep curled up together on the same bed ... crazy kids.

I work full time, but not 5 days a week (shift work). I don't really think it makes a difference. I have just had a week at home with them, and they still fight!

All part of the deal me thinks ... made up for by the hugs.

Jo2+2<BR>Angel Rachel 21/11/00 (23 weeks)<BR>Matthew & Erin 7/11/01<P><BR>

Hi there.

Yep my 4 year olds are doing the same thing. Mostly loving but lots of fighting too. A few times (when we have time!) hubby has taken one boy and I have taken the other for a couple of hours, and we found that the boys were so excited to see each other after their outings that they didn't fight for ages.

We are trying really hard to build this time in on a regular basis so the boys feel they are getting some one on one time. It must be really hard having to do everything togather, share everything and wait turns for everything!!!!!

Any tips would be so welcome!

Wow this thread is a blast from the past! It's 7 years old!

Are you able to have one on one time if you have help? From a very young age we would do things seperately with the the boys. For instance, take one shopping whilst one was at home, etc.

I think mostly it is that at this age it can be fiery and boys are full on.

LOL I didn't twig until I saw Nee's post and thought "what the?"

Do people not read the date before they randomly answer things?

What I'd like to know is how the hell did it get dredged up!???

EB has had about 5 full on transformations since then and this thread certainly doesn't show up in on say about the last 200 or so pages!

Juz Buz what did you do to gain access to this thread??

I'd say a google search. I google certain twin issues all the time and always get old EB threads