I don't like being pregnant.

There, I said it. Despite spending four years wanting nothing more than to be pregnant, the reality is not what I was expecting. I thought I would be gorgeous and glowing, rocking the latest in maternity fashion, tenderly caressing my bump while sporting long and lush pregnancy hair. But in truth, I am uncomfortable, constantly sick, so tired that I sleep all weekend, and have had a headache for 16 weeks. And pregnancy hair? It's on my upper lip, not on my head.

But cursed is the pregnant IVFer who dare speak a single negative word about her 'condition' once she gets that magic Big Fat Positive. Branded an “IVF Forgetter”, she is considered a traitor to those who are yet to conceive or have made the decision to live childfree, but not by choice. I know, because I used to hate on any pregnant woman who complained about morning sickness. I was so ready for it and couldn't wait to experience the heaving and upchucking, secure in the knowledge that it was all for a good cause.

But in real life, there is nothing even slightly comforting about vomiting ten times before 7am, then passing out. Being admitted to hospital for rehydration and living on a cocktail of anti-emetic pills is not fun. And the needles didn't stop with IVF either, with my husband now an expert at administering Stemetil deep into the muscle of my backside. Not that it helps. And the headaches. I have been unlucky enough to suffer from migraines since my early 20s, and pregnancy exacerbates them. My headaches have been so bad, that I temporarily lost the sight in my left eye, but there's no popping of an Imigrain or other prescription migraine meds. Codeine helps a bit, but it's only temporary.

A comment left on my previous blog post prompted me to write this entry.



Thegalwho, I would LOVE to be able to enjoy this. I have wanted it for so long and I envy those women who have happy, trouble free pregnancies, but please don't take my lack of enthusiasm over my pregnancy personally. I'm not being pathetic, and I'm not forgetting for a second the pain and longing during the journey to get here, but sometime between the seventh and tenth vomit of the morning, I have, to my shame and absolute horror, wondered if it was all going to be worth it. Physically, IVF was a walk in the park compared to this. Even being admitted to hospital in agonising pain after complications with an egg retrieval is preferable to going in with hyperemesis. This will be my only pregnancy, and I am angry that I haven't been able to enjoy it. The Gods could at least smile on the sub-fertile after having such a struggle to get here in the first place.

Everyone tells me that it will get better, and I bloody well hope so, but for now, I keep focussed on the prize at the end. It can't come soon enough.

Oh for pete's sake. This is what I HATED the most about being pregnant! The fact that - oh gosh - you don't enjoy EVERY WAKING MOMENT of it is apparently an insult to every other woman in the world. What hogwash.

I had severe morning sickness, got ENORMOUS, got GD, worked full time including loads of travel in hot crappy hotel rooms. So YES I complained sometimes. But so what!

My sister is a long time IVF and still no success so I understand just how hard it is to watch someone go through pregnancy when TTC but come on.

At no point is someone saying "I wish I wasn't pregnant" they are merely saying "Gee I wish I had some more room in me to breath properly without getting kicked in the ribs" or "Gee I'm actually tired of checking blood sugars and injecting insulin"

Give these women a break. Enjoy your pregnancy, and complain your little heart away if you feel you need to. I literally had TWO people I could complain to when I really needed to - My DH and my younger sister (who was also pregnant).

Also some people HATE pregnancy. So what! Guess what - some people HATE babies until they are 6 months old as that baby stage is really hard for some people!

We all need to stop JUDGING each other.

Congratulations on your pregnancy - and feel free to whinge, complain and lament the pregnancy as much as you want!

It just doesn't seem fair, Prue, I'm so sorry you are still getting knocked around so badly.

Ok, so this is when you need some kind of sloganned tshirt that emblazons for the world to see that you are now in that other-world state - a PREGNANT (infertile) person - albeit with really hideous related illnesses Just to cover all women in the waiting room.

It matters not to the world how you concieved these babies, you have jumped ship to fertile land, one hand reaching back longingly to where you last felt safe ( even in desperation, the whole IVF thing has some kind of safety within the procedures, contempuous familiarity!) and your bleary red rimmed eyes strain forward to try and see the silver lining ( oooh twins!!! double trouble!!! ) amongst the vomit inducing clouds.

I totally understand you. You have NOT forgotten the angst of staring down the barrel of a child-free but not by choice life, you have just added in some elements that now require more of your attention, eg babies in your belly and ensuing stuff.

You are not a traitor. You are still infertile, but now you are pregnant. Having a terrible time within that pregnancy and blogging about it is neither ungrateful or forgetful. It just is what it is.

I am an IVF-er on the 'other side' and my two little frostie babies ( fets ) are the absolute joy and bane of my life in equal measures some days. In no way does me commenting on their bad behaviour in supermarkets diminish the 5 stims and 7 fets ( and two miscarriages ) and the $45000 visa debt more than scrapbooking how adorable they are, does it????

Keep us well ( honestly! ) informed of your progress Pru, and I truly hope there is some ease to all the yukky pg bits. ( Hopefully before those pesky babies emerge anyway )

Lisa

I don't like being pregnant either - doesn't mean I'm not grateful for the chance to bring life into the world, but nevertheless I don't like the actual experience of pregnancy. I don't like feeling sick, and I don't even get nearly as sick as you OP. I don't like being huge and hobbling along; I'd just rather be my normal self. And, I don't like the newborn stage so much - I'm much happier after 2 whole years old.

I say, whine at will. Just because you want a child and are grateful to be pregnant doesn't mean you become some alien that enjoys being sick.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, hope things improve for you soon!

I would say that once you get that BFP you're pregnant just as anyone else who is pregnant and have the same right to feel like carp if your health lets you down. I don't think that you have any extra obligation to suck it up more, just because it was harder for you to get there.
I hope it does get easier for you... SOON!

My comment was a mere suggestion that Prue try to look on the positive side of her pregnancy, to try to enjoy it as much as she can. I at no point, suggested that she not complain, whinge, whine or b**ch but apparently because I suggested that she try to enjoy it as much as she can it must mean that I also meant she can't do the opposite?

I think some people on this thread will be looking to be offended, when really there was/is nothing to be offended about. If you have time in your life to be offended by a suggestion to try and look for some positives out of your situation - well lets just say I wish I had your life!

Yeah, I'm with thegalwho on this one.

My pg was not easy I was sick all day until 18wks but I found it reasurring after never seeing a heartbeat before.
I loved every minute regardless of headaches, sickness, car accident, hospital Boxing Day, PE.
One of the most treasured times of my life and always will be.

Hey Prue, I have read and enjoyed your journey through infertility and now to pregnancy. A big congratulations times 2!

I understand the years of emotional, physical and financial investment in getting PG and staying PG. I still remember the feeling and trepidation of getting past 12wks and just wanting to be considered a normal healthy PG like all those other lucky women. And in my mind it was a chance to feel something normal and enjoy it!

However there certainly were aspects I didnt enjoy, of which many of us share, and when I managed to get PG again it was all the same struggles as the first time.

These feelings flow on into child rearing and that ultimate goal of motherhood. And I tell you these children are the best damn thing DH and I ever did, but oh man are there ever days....! I believe its the best job in the world, but its the hardest thing Ive ever done as well.

I hope the awful and horrible hyperemesis takes the migraines and goes far far away so that you will glow like the fairytale tells you that PG mums do. FWIW I never glowed, I grew hair in the wrong places, I was pimply and rashy, I was more tired than I ever could sleep away and oh my lordy that heartburn acid burnt my voicebox so I talked like a man.

I look forward to reading how the final few weeks fly by and youll have those two babies in your arms and your body back to yourself.

I do understand where you are comming from Prue as I also had a terrible pregnancy. I think the worst part though was related to loss of innocence through IVF. I could not sit back and enjoy pregnancy because I had lost and suffered so much already. It was so hard for me to get pregnant and stay pregnant that instead of joy all I felt was constant anxiety. The pressure to be constantly gratefull for my BFP just made the anxiety worse.

I can assure however that it is was all worth it and to have DD I would do it all again.

Congratulations, Prue! How far along are you if you don't mind me asking. Or is it a surprise?

I'd have to say I agree with Jane05 and thegalwho.

I have experienced morning sickness, put in hospital for 3 weeks, flown by air ambulance, 5 hours of severe contractions, constipation, hooked up to a IV bag for 4 weeks straight, so sick I could not eat yet I had no baby to take home. I have lost 6 babies so far. I would happily relive my horrible pregnancy symptoms and enjoy it knowing that things were looking good. When I used to vomit or not want to eat I would get excited, thinking my pregnancy was progressing nicely. Only to show up to an u/s and find my babies had died. I am not trying to have a 'I've had it harder' competition. No way. I am just explaining why sickness, yucky pregnancy symptoms etc would not be an issue for me to put up with as I feel I've been on both sides, I have just never ended up in the 'safe' zone in my pregnancies. Something I hope I get one day!

I suppose different experiences make us feel different things. I also think I'd prefer to be sick and pregnanct than going through the emotions of IVF. In my opinion, IVF is much more difficult.

I wish you all the best, Prue. You've had a hard road and I am happy that things have worked out for you!

What a lot of crap this is. I am sorry you are having to hear this nasty jealousy Prue. And congratulations on your pregnancy and my condolences on the time you are having of it. Death (your own) is often an attractive proposition when you are this sick.
As someone who won't even pretend to know what infertility is, but who can talk the talk and walk the walk when it comes to HG, I think it is cruel and pathetic of any woman to consider another who is suffering from HG as unappreciative enough *of just being pregnant*.
Hyperemesis has killed women since the beginning of time in our part of the world and still does in developing nations. Show me one woman whose health was placed at risk or who died from not being able to conceive.

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I think it's good that you can talk about the less than rosy reality of some pregnancies Prue. I think it would be difficult to have to pretend that it is not hard having pregnancy complications because it was also hard getting pregnant.

A pregnant woman, regardless how she got that way, is more than just a vessel for an unborn baby. Her feelings and responses are still for the most part what they would have been pre-pregnancy. There are some woman who would feel nothing but rapturous joy as their face hovers over the toilet seat that a co-workers buttocks just caressed, but for most of us that remains a fairly unpleasant experience regardless of gravidity.

Hyperemesis is very unpleasant. It's also a relatively uncommon complication of pregnancy. People who get it are unlucky. People who get it complain. It seems an additional unfairness - one final indignity of infertility, that people who have already walked a difficult path to become pregnant should stoically put up with what everyone else is 'allowed' by society to admit to disliking.

the minutes i spent enjoying being pregnant were few and far between. i envy those who glow and love every minute, but i had an awful time through most of it.
when you've waited for so long* it's only to be expected that you've built it up into something it isn't (for everyone at least ) and you've probably bargained with some greater power ("i promise i won't complain about anything...etc etc") but it will just send you crazy trying to pretend you're happy when you're not. let it go and just concentrate on getting through it.

hope you do get a few enjoyable moments soon

* i didn't go through years of trying myself but have seen many other friends who have

Despite your delightful play on the spelling of my name, the fact still remains, *I* was not the one judging. I was defending the judged.


Beautifully put sassm.

I don't do pregnancy well. At all. I get HG, GD, PIH, PE, strangulated roids etc etc and I HATE being pregnant. I've had 2 miscarriages and felt so guilty when I didn't love being pregnant, but how can you love what is causing so much sickness? That's not to say I ever didn't love my baby while pregnant and guess what I LOVE GIVING BIRTH!!! I know there are women who really dislike labour and birth, but I've never heard people describe those women as ungrateful, have you?

I'm sorry you're so sick and hope it eases up for you very soon

ps I won't be trying for anymore babies either, as I can't look after myself properly when pregnant and so ill, let alone lil people

.

I wasn't referring to you in particular. I really wish you nothing but love and happiness

Louise, were you referring to me with your first post? Because I was not acting out from jealously, just sharing an experience as everyone else has! Just explaining why it would be different for me. BTW, m/c has killed women also.

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It's ok, I just wanted you to know that I wasn't singling you out.

Oh Prue you poor thing. HG is the most awful way to spend a pregnancy - especially after IVF and years TTC.

The most frustrating part is when you tell people you have HG and they are like "oh yeah, I had morning sickness too".... um - no - it's NOTHING like that - it's a CONSTANT urge to vomit. It is severe physical exhaustion and dehydration (not to mention the emotional and mental side effects). It is spending every other day/week/month at the hospital hooked up to an IV to get fluids into you because you've lost more than 10% of your body weight (and no - I was NOT HAPPY to lose 9 kilo's in 6 weeks so please don' t tell me how grateful I should be that I look so slim). It's taking every anti-vomiting medication under the sun, including meds given to CANCER patients after chemo (ondansetron) and having your body respond for 24 hours (if that) and then reject the drug (and for the record, stemetil is not only prescribed to be taken in the backside via needle... you are lucky with that one Prue!). It's everyone telling you that you willl stop vomiting after the 1st trimester but then week 13, 14, 15 and 16 pass and you are still vomiting. It's knowing what foods to eat and avoiding certain foods because you know they taste awful when they're coming back up.

Hang in there Prue, I vomited every single day til I gave birth, and never quite relaxed during my pregnancy and I couldn't care less what anyone said or thought about it. It doesn't mean I wasn't grateful for being pregnant OR that I'm not allowed to whinge about it.

I can understand why you feel the way you do, because I completely relate. It's hard when something you wanted so much, for so long, no matter what and no matter how, causes you to feel such physical or mental of emotional pain. The haters will always be out there and it's part of the package because hey, you and I used to be one of them before falling pg. Just wait til the babies are born and they drive you even more bonkers then and you wonder what you asked for... and NO it does not mean you don't love your babies it just means being pregnant and giving birth and having a baby can be hard - not that you've forgotten the pain of infertility.

Good luck and I hope things improve for you and sorry for the super long post (and FWIW I've read that HG calms down closer to the end of the second trimester than the first which was true for me).

Prue, I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time. It would be nice to think that, having suffered to fall pregnant, one would get an easy pass for pregnancy, but I guess it doesn't work that way. Hopefully as the pregnancy progresses things will get easier for you. You have fought so hard to get here, not too far from now it will all be over and you will have two precious children to love for the rest of your life, and I'm sure they will be worth your struggles and courage.

On a side note, I am still curious if someone else will be replacing your blog for us infertiles who remain.


Women have died from severe OHSS (and no doubt other complications of IVF, infertility treatment and complications of conditions that cause infertility). I have experienced severe OHSS and I can tell you I would have happily died rather than continued in that kind of pain. It took me six months to recover physically - two trimesters - and I didn't get a child out of it. Emotionally I'm still traumatised a year later.

I'm sorry, but as someone who has never experienced infertility I don't know why you're commenting on a blog about infertility and calling people out for being "jealous". Uncalled for really, when they're just putting forward their own opinions in a public forum (nicely and diplomatically I thought, especially given this is an infertility blog). You have no idea what women/couples go through to try for years, experience IVF, lose children that took so much work, pain and money to conceive, have relationships and lives fall apart, lose you bl**dy mind, lose your house, lose your hope. Very, very unfair judgement from someone who has no idea and never, ever will.

A good, honest post as usual Prue.

In what kind of mixed up world is it ok for a woman who is seriously ill to be made to feel as if she'll be damned for all eternity for not being thankful every waking minute that she's throwing up?

For goodness sake, some of you need to get over yourselves. Not everything is about you.

Pregnancy can be horrid. It's perfectly ok to not be happy about being so ill. The prize at the end IS worth it though. You'll love it.

Congratulations Prue.

I have never experienced infertility, and I'm grateful for that. But as a 3x sufferer of Hyperemesis, my sympathies are with you. It's hell on earth. I've spent many a day wondering if it is all worth it, and alternating wishing for my death, or that of the foetus I am carrying. I'm not ashamed to admit that. It's a very ugly truth, but that is what Hyperemesis can do to you.

I'm really sorry that this thread has degenerated into that delightful forum game of listing every hardship a poster has ever had, and how they coped marvellously, and you are clearly somehow a lesser being than them for not being exactly the same. Good on them. But they are not you, and they are not living your life.

Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy.

Prue, you really are a great writer.

FWIW, I have two children. One conceived easily, one conceived after almost 18 months of trying. Both pregnancies were absolute sh*t. Absolute sh*t. Every minute. I wish I could have enjoyed spending time helplessly on my knees in front of varying public toilets, vomiting myself incontinent. I wish I could have enjoyed my decreasing ability to walk, and the various indignities that attend pregnancy. I truly admire those who can skip through pre-eclampsia as lightly as a field of daisies.

But suggesting that we should all enjoy pregnancy the way that a whipped Etonian spits out "please sir may I have another" while he's getting six of the best is a bridge too far.

I havent been threw IVF but it did take 18months to get pregnant with DD and 9 months with this one. I have learnt the hard way to not complain about anything. I even lost a 'friend' over it! Turns out you HAVE TO enjoy every bit of pregnancy because 'you CHOSE to get pregnant' God I hate people right now! (sorry rant over)

Its definately worth it, although you cant see that right now you will look back on this in a few months time and think it was nothing!

Hi Prue

Sorry pregnancy isn't treating you well.

I'm still deep in IVF-land and have to admit to being irritated when people who know my story winge about pregnancy/breastfeeding/etc to me. I think "you have the rest of the world to winge to about that, winge to me about Telstra, or your mum, or your boss, or whatever, and I'll have the strength to support you, but just stay off that topic for now".

It's worse when it's someone who you have supported through her own difficulty to conceive, because shouldn't they understand how painful it is?

So while I think you have the right to complain, complaining to the infertile sector of your audience (who have given you a lot of support as far as I can see) is a bit hurtful. I guess it can't be helped, and it's just one of those things. Given this was originally a blog about AC (and initially specifically "marketed" to the AC boards) maybe a warning "pregnancy complaint ahead" so we can stay out if we are feeling fragile?

Best of luck with the rest of the pregnancy.

I think this is a relevant postscript. The pregnancy thing was dealt with last post when it was announced. Between that and the title it shouldn't be hard to anticipate any post after that was going to touch on the mashup of emotion that is a pregnancy after infertility.

Perhaps Prue's words will free up somebody else, in the future, to reach out for help or support during a difficult pregnancy that they would otherwise feel a certain amount of pressure to just grin and suffer.

I think I remember Prue blogging that once somebody she was following got pregnant, she'd congratulate them and delete them from her blogroll. That seems like sensible self preservation - an understandable response. It makes more sense than hanging around to castigate them for continuing to blog honestly.

You can't help what you feel and you shouldn't have to change what you feel to appease other people. Likewise the posters commenting on their thoughts and feelings. All the best for the rest of your pregnancy. I know alot of people who didn't enjoy pregnancy and they weren't dealing with half of what you are dealing with at the moment.

Just as we who are still struggling with infertility should be able to express how we feel about this issue rather than just "grin and suffer". Or have Prue's original feelings now become invalid?



Why should we infertiles go away? I for one am interested in the rest of the story. I didn't castigate her. I said that it couldn't be helped, it was just one of those things, and asked for a heads up for those of us who might be feeling fragile. Just as in all the AC board posts we put a warning for sensitive issues.

I think it's the rare woman who could endure years of heartbreak followed by months of debilitating illness (even with a baby on board!) and not want to shake a fist at the gods.

It's not fair at all. Thank you for continuing to share your story.

No - I think Prue's original feelings are a massive part of the point of the post. Feelings are weird things. You never know how you're going to respond to a situation until you're in it. And sometimes the 'logical' and 'expected' feelings are not the ones that emerge and that can lead to guilt about feeling the 'wrong' thing.

Everybody's feelings are valid here - the entire gamut of emotion being exhibited in this thread is legitimate. The only real point of my posts here are to be supportive about the misery of hyperemesis (as it is viscerally incomprehensible to me that somebody could actually feel bad about feeling bad about it) and to add my personal feelings about the value of this discussion.

'Show me one woman whose health was placed at risk or who died from not being able to conceive.'

OK.

Infertility is a medical condition.

There are underlying causes for infertility which can cause ill-health or death - uterine growths can become cancer, hypoproteinemia can cause brain tumors. Sometimes pregnancy is actually recommended to lessen the condition - so not conceiving is placing the woman's health at greater risk.

There are health risks from complications from drugs and operations for women- and some men- undergoing IVF.

And the diagnosis of infertility has the third highest rate of depression in patients after the diagnosis of a terminal illness or cancer - depression is a health risk.

Women have died from infertility treatments. Others have killed themselves after being unable to conceive. In the past women were sometimes murdered for not being able to have children.


Prue, I understand that HG is very dangerous and miserable and I hope you pull through soon.

I believe anyone suffering has the right to complain, I just hope this doesn't turn into a thread trying to argue who has the greater right, that would be like comparing HIV to cancer - pointless.

Prue, I appreciate the honesty of this blog entry and I can't begin to imagine how horrible hyperemesis must be.

A lot of the ensuing posts, however, have just left me feeling really sad and quite upset. Ladies, why this 'us and them' mentality?

As a continuing IVF-er, it's probably natural that my feelings in relation to this topic are a bit more in line with those of meggie, Jane05, Panda and others. I still can't help feeling I would go through almost anything to have a baby. Naive? Ignorant? Maybe.

I just feel really sad that infertile women are reading here and feeling we need to somehow defend or explain ourselves - although I know this was not Prue's intention.

Not sure what else to say really, just feeling a bit disappointed with where this has all gone.

Hell no.
I read your blog some time ago. I think you are very brave.

This is not a competition as to what makes you sickest. And no one should be forced to bear their illness in silence. I realise that infertile women suffer from depression, but that is in all honesty very different to finding yourself trapped with a baby inside of you, unable to keep down a sip of water, not even able to swallow your own saliva without projectile vomiting it back up again 5 seconds later. Renal failure, hospitalisations, being told by your doctor that you have reached the point where the baby *no longer matters* because you are so critically ill. You don't choose those side effects any more than you choose to be infertile. And it doesn't always end in a healthy happy baby. And the damage done to the mothers body can have life long consequences.
I don't think it is fair for anyone to make a pregnant woman, no matter how she managed to get pregnant, feel bad when she wants to complain about that. Not one person should have to martyr themselves just because they are lucky enough to be pregnant, whilst others sadly are not.

I don't think it's naive Cheshire Cat, I too felt the same way.
With my PE I had swelling in my legs up past my knees. The Ob originally told me a c/s would be dangerous due to clotting. Then on the day J didn't look like coping any further in labour so he said we need to do Emergency c/s - DP was worried knowing my condition - I didn't hesitate and agreed to it - I too would do anything.

All the best OP, I hope you soon feel some relief from being sick All the best for the rest of your pg.

Louise3now4 -PP have already detailed the medical facts which prove you were wrong in your infertility is no 'risk to health or life' assumption. But you only acknowledged depression. Oh, well.

edited to remove all but the direct response above. after seeing Thegalwho try defend herself for days after her comment was taken out of context from a previous blog, I'm removing mine.

Dear Prue,
I just wanted to offer my sympathies. I had hyperemesis during both my pregnancies and it's a truly awful illness. I very much hope that it lifts for you soon, and that you go on to experience an uncomplicated labour and delivery and babies that are happy little eaters and sleepers. Wishing you all the best.

Thanks for the comments everyone. And thanks for caring about my feelings, but I am a journalist by trade - I'm pretty used to being lambasted for something I have written. What is it - third after real estate agents and solicitors on the most "untrustworthy" jobs list??

But the comments have certainly proved several points I have made, not only about this blog entry, but others I have previously written.

Firstly, thegalwho, I apologise if you feel I took your comment out of context. I don't know how else it could have been presented, given I was commenting on those exact words. Why should I have to enjoy being pregnant just because I have had IVF? I wish to the Gods I could, but I'm not enjoying it one bit. And I'm not going to be a martyr for the cause and pretend I am.

And sorry if my AC journey hasn't been long enough for you. For me, it seemed like aeons, and watching my friends build their families around me during those years was heartbreaking. I am so glad to be pregnant now, and despite my dislike of the condition, I wouldn't change a thing.

To the others who have commented that this blog should be "moved on" or someone else should take over, please understand that I write for a larger audience than the Essential Baby trying to conceive forums. The subtitle of this post was "why I can't enjoy being pregnant" Surely that is enough of a heads up as to the content?

Thanks again, and keep debating.

Prue,
I think you should get some counselling now, or you will need it later when you get chronic PND - because I guarantee you will suffer with PND in a big way. Why do I think this? Because your head is so far up in the clouds that the big bump when you fall to earth when you are suffering chronic sleep deprivation, a non-stop screaming baby, and difficulty feeding will hit you very very hard. You have been dreaming, dreaming, hoping to gain a fanatasy blissful perfect baby. You are already feeling some of that reality biting - but you are still focussed on the "dream". There is no dream, it is a total fantasy and I wish to god someone would stop feeding us the dream. But you know, if we don't hold on to these misconceptions the human race might just die out!! I recommend you read "Misconceptions" by Naomi Wolf or some other books that relate to this subject - and report back to us in the blog! Also, start reading a book like "Birth Skills" by Juju Sundin and Sarah Murdoch or you might find yourself with a disapointing birth too - based on your "dreams" not being fulfilled.
http://www.amazon.com/Misconceptions-Truth...d/dp/0385497458
http://www.judyoz.com/ccp0-prodshow/birth-...cover-book.html

I'm going to put my hand up and say that this IVF frostie I've got on board has had to be the most unpleasant pregnancy so far and I'm struggling to manage it for so many reasons.

Prue, totally understand where you are coming from - it's hard to thank the powers-that-be when you are feeling ill all the time. I hope your well-being improves as you go further along.

Now please excuse me while I stuff my face with food so that I don't feel sicker than I am..... quite an achievement when you have no appetite.

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Prue - I think Shooting Star is on the right track. These were my thoughts when I read your post. It is unlikely that your pregnancy is going to get much easier or more enjoyable, especially with twins competing for space in there. If and when the morning sickness/HG calms down, you are likely to get very uncomfortable and will have much difficulty sleeping, moving around and getting from one end of each day to the other. And that's before you consider all the increased and additional risks associated with a twin pregnancy and birth.

You need some techniques and tools (physical, emotional and intellectual) to help you get through this pregnancy, and then you will need a whole extra bagful to manage once your babies arrive.

Even with a dream singleton pregnancy and 'easy' newborn it is hard to become a parent, I know that you have a world of challenges ahead of you.

Seek help now, and by all means keep blogging about it because it is invaluable to you to articulate it all. It is good that you have a journalists thick skin, becauser these issues will inspire alot of mixed and heated responses, all of which are valid.

I wish you all the best with the rest of your journey to parenthood.

I guess that was me (although not at all what I intended with my comment). I guess it was more of an Essential Baby question than Prue question. I am truly happy that you've progressed from an infertility blog as I hope any infertility blog will, but I guess I liked being 'represented' by a blog on EB. It felt a bit like having a voice I guess, when so many comments we make around the forum are belittled by people telling us to suck it up, be more positive and stop whinging (much in the same way you're expressing on this post I guess).

People who don't experience infertility don't read about it and certainly don't understand it. I enjoyed having your blog out there for that wider audience to read. I was curious if there was going to be a new version of that. I certainly didn't intend to suggest your blog move on or aside.

I hope your luck changes soon. Wishing you well.

This.

I am sorry that you are suffering but as an IVF'er who has finished treatment with no happy ending it's very hard to feel that sympathy. I don't mean that to sound harsh, it's just hard not to want what you have, terrible sickness and all. I hope that makes sense.

.

Shooting Star, she doesn't just have a bit of morning sickness and a bit uncomfortable like most pregnancies. She is seriously ill. She's been hospitalised. I think that far from needing help, she is most definitely on the right track in acknowledging her feelings honestly. This is her reality. She's not just some whinger who expected to sail through and have the perfect pregnancy and baby.

Why is it so hard for some of you to support Prue through this instead of sinking the claws in?

Of course, but would it mean that you would actually enjoy being seriously ill? Prue very obviously loves the fact that she is pregnant, she just doesn't love the process.