I don't know why she would want to meet up with you with the snob act you've got going on..wow.

But yes, I would go for a coffee. Friendship shouldn't be based on type of cars driven.
And as long as you don't sit there the whole time talking about YOUR life and YOUR toys and YOUR private school kids, should all be fine.

Affluent people should still be caring and considerate, it is a moot point in my opinion what career you and yours hold, car you drive or the number of your post code. I personally think that the person who has been less fortunate in life is showing more courage, class and self respect wanting to get in touch with the person that seems to have it all - the one thing that the affluent person doesn't seem to have and money and social standing can not obviously buy is a compassionate tolerance for people.

If you are a one that has lead the life of so many then please keep holding your head high and know that a bank balance or private education is not the perfect life - if you are the one that seems to have it all, maybe you should get in touch with this woman and learn acceptance.

That being said if you are the BMW mum it is your choice who you socialise with

I'm always a little bit suspicious of anyone who paints such a perfect picture of her own life.

OP, I suspect yours isn't as happy as you convey, and your friend's life is probably not as miserable as you think it is. However, meeting up with her would probably provide some fun "fodder" for your next cocktail party, right? How quaint to mingle with the masses & all that...

Better to wait until you uncover the affair that your busy CEO husband has been having with his secretary (who's looking fine for her early 20s), the kids become selfish prats and reject the medicine/law careers you were hoping to force on them in favour of working at Maccas, the company comes crashing down and the BMW gets repossessed and the fluffy, yappy, snappy dog is all you've got left and you realise that without your cash, you really weren't much after all.

Then you'll have plenty in common. Just have to hope she'll want to have coffee with you then.

Not saying this will happen to the charming woman you describe, just saying I've known a few of those charmers and their perfect lives weren't as perfect under the surface. Keep an eye on that lovely, successful CEO. Can you say Mark McInnes?

I was thinking the same! Dashing CEOs don't exactly have the best track record for fidelity.

If you are BMW Mum do you reckon you could get your head out of your own ass long enough to find the coffee place?

I wouldn't bother, you seem to have already made up your mind you have nothing in common, whichever person you are.

That.

Can anyone say "shallow"??

I am curious as to what type of dog you own matters.

Geez you guys are all so harsh.

From my read, I think the OP is trying to say that they took very different life paths and the descriptions were to give you a picture of what it was. Don't flame her just because she has perhaps chosen some words that might not resonate with you.

Her question of whether or not you would try to reignite a friendship with someone who has gone a completely different path to you is still valid. This is not the venting board!

OP, I think that you should meet up with her. Try not to talk about you, but perhaps talk about her life and her kids so it can help you see if you are able to meet up again. Despite her kids ages being so different to yours, I am sure she is very proud of them. Having children is mutual common ground, as is your past history. Maybe she has that current job because it lets her be at home with her children. Perhaps she has just poor judgement of men. Who knows?

But I would meet up with her.

I go to our reunions evey few years. The last one was our 20th anniversary of Yr12. There were a few akward momnets as ther were girls there that I hadn't seen since our last exam. Within half an hour of sitting at the table, it was like we were back in our Yr12 common room having coffee.

So, have coffee with her.

TazzieD her whole post was pretentious.

Maybe it isn't her? If you look at prior posts, she says she is 39 (maybe had a birthday?) with 3 kids last one being at age 36 so unless her youngest is a child prodigy or they are in a 'private' child care perhaps it is hypothetical.

I am editing to say perhaps I like to see the best in people..

Same thing happened to me. I joined Facebook to catch up online with family that live far away but someone from school looked me up so I ended up with alot of people I haven't seen in 20 years and have nothing in common with anymore.

I've got friends now that I have alot in common with so I don't bother trying to renew friendships from years ago, I just think I am a very different person now to what I was at 18. Well I suppose most people are!

EB's assumption that rich people are snobs and poor people are nice once again comes to the fore. I'm not reading pretense into the OP, just a light hearted description of both parties that are both at extreme ends of the social scale. Perhaps it's my sense of humour.

I think you should meet her but only if you can find your "mature girl definitely 40yo and acting it" going to the shops dress rather than your "soshal girl pretending like she's totally 20" flouncing dress.

P.S. Leave the dog at home.

Well something about her was appealing at this stage, you, sorry, THIS WOMAN, saw something of value in her...



OK, so you've, I mean THIS WOMAN has got questionable values .. not to worry, lots of people do, and you're/ SHE'S not so old, so there's some hope, I guess.



On the surface, she doesn't share your/ THIS DAMN WOMAN'S values, so she's probably NOT going to be feeling the requisite levels of envy and admiration. That is problematic, hmm.... I mean, she might laugh at your/HER inveterate shallowness. How awful.



So despite the fact that she can see the points of difference between you (because presumably FB is plastered with them ...), she has still suggested meeting you, in person, like a real human being?

Maybe, having been a pretty child/youth, she understands beauty can be a bit of a double-edged sword and isn't overly invested in it.
Maybe, she has been true to herself and followed her heart, and lived deeply, if not so superficially wisely.
Maybe she loves all her children and the times in her life that brought them to her, and she looks back on her life as rich and storied rather than as a litany of woes and wrong turns.
Maybe that 'member of an outlaw motorbike club' is more like a CEO than you suspect. He might just be holding together all sorts of busineses that generate all sorts of money... Then again, maybe he's interesting, or kind, or funny, or WORSE STILL exciting and dangerous -- and just what she's looking for at this stage in her life, not being bound by the need to be safe-at-all-costs.
Maybe working in a lunch shop in an industrial area is a blast. Maybe it's fun to talk to busy working people who don't take themselves too seriously. Maybe she believes in service rather than self-aggrandisement?

If you don't go, you'll never know.

.

Just wanted to point out that most private schools have a 3yr old kinder program


Ditto.
I saw the OP as a description of the differences (that the OP is aware of), not a judgement on them.

Yup, Early Learning Centres aren't they Cath?
Also bear in mind, OP may not have been referring to the three year old. It could merely be a projection of where the three year old will be attending when they reach school age. Enrolled already? I have been known to say my children attend Catholic school when only one does. The others are just already on the list. Anyhow, not a major point.

Each of our kids' names were on the list at our local Independent school by the time they were 3 weeks old. Preference is given to siblings there. The year DS1 started, only 15 non-sibling places were available.

I totally think you should meet up for coffee. Just make sure it is in a suburb where the affluenza is so rampant that when she parks her dinged up old family mover at the parking meter she can't afford, she has to be reeeeally carefully not to hit the 2010 Audi and BMW parked on either side. And make sure the coffee shop doesn't sell any beverage for under $15, and the tiny tart you insist that she order is another $20.

Word up a couple of friends to 'drop past' to show how popular you are, ensuring they are dressed head to toe in labels she will recognise as the ridiculously aspirational ones from her favourite trashy womens mag. (Don't bother wearing that classy little number you picked up at the Riviera last year - she won't recognise the couture house anyway.)

If the conversation stalls, just reminisce about your trip across to the Hamptons last winter, or Aspen last summer. Perhaps you could explain the providence of each piece of jewelery you are wearing? Or, if she turns out to be an animal lover, chat about how little Mr-fluffy-dog has been having terrible trouble with his nails so you have to book him into the salon for a weekly pawdicure.

But seriously, if you were friends then you might just get lucky and be friends now. Meet her somewhere netural, the park or a beach, have a stroll and a chat, and emphasise the things you have in common. I'm sure you both love your kids and your partners, I'm sure you both have views on current affairs, and I'm sure you both have some great memories, maybe even old photos. Why not give it a go? Just don't be late dropping Fluffy off to get his nails done afterwards

somehow I'm not sure the OP will be back ...

She was your best friend in high school...I would put the differences asside and go and catch up.

If you get along GREAT another friend... If not then move on...
Simple!

Ugh. Childish much?

Agree with Cathode and gang.

Am I the only who thinks marrying a successful man is not a measure of your own success? Its his hard work, sure you have supported him, but he made it.



I think maybe its social dog. Hair is important. Even dogs need nice fluffy social hair.

will you have time to meet up in between botox appointments?

It's a friendship. Since when did you have to review CV's of friends and their children before meeting up for coffee?

Wow! Just wow! Who's making the assumptions and judgements here? Tall Poppy Syndrome is alive and well on EB.

I stated facts about myself (being a bit tongue in cheek about the looks and fluffy dog thing). I also stated facts about my old friend from information she has provided to me. I made no judgement. I just contrasted the apparent differences between the two of us and wondered if the differences were too great to get past to rekindle our friendship.

Yes, I posted and knew what sort of reaction I'd get. However, how things jumped from me sounding pretentious to my children being spoilt brats and my husband having an affair with a secretary is just laughable.

If one appears to have made good out of their life and is materially successful, then surely they must be miserable, be a bad person, and think themselves better than everyone else. What a load of sh*t. A majority of posters in this thread have shown themselves to be more akin to that than myself.

Oh, and just to put further ruffle in the feathers of the EB masses. I voted for the Coalition yesterday.

Oh and theaccidentalhousewife - you're a f**kwit. Stick to watching SATC and Gossip Girl.

Velvis,

Real, true friends wouldn't give a sh*te actually. Real, true friends would have maintained contact through the years and supported each other through the highs and lows. Just my $0.02worth


BTW, DS2's best mate lives on the other side of the country, having moved when they were in Yr 5. Next year DS2 will be his Best Man, DS1 and DS3 his Groomsmen and DD one of the Bridesmaids.

If you were really interested in a friendship with this person, you wouldn't have listed off all the material things in yours and her lives that you think you won't be able to get past.

Not defending anyone but you are allowed to post with your tongue in your cheek but others aren't?

I don't understand the anger directed at the OP here. Well, I do understand it, but I think its completely unnecessary.

OP, I think you might just live in different worlds now. It would go without saying that you would be different people at 40 than what you were at 13 or 14 and there's nothing wrong with that. Its just the way it is.

And as always - if you had to ask the question, then you probably know what the answer is. Go, have coffee and if you want, leave it at that.

Just an observation:

People who have strong interpersonal skills and are secure in who they are should be able to find common ground with old friends, regardless of whether that old chum has gone on to become Princess Mary of Denmark or a sandwich artist at Subway.

1. Ok, no one cares you voted for the coalition....really.
2. If one appears to have made good etc etc............must be miserable bla bla...well,hmmm You may very well be miserable and what PP have said my have hit home slightly. Yet, you may be overly happy and that's great for you. But, it appears in your OP that you are basically looking down upon your acquaintance. NOT A FRIEND!!! You don't see her as that.
3. Your CEO partner could be having an affair are you absolutely certain he isn't??? None of us can really know for sure.

4. Real, true friends would have been there all along.Well sometimes things happen and we go seperate ways in life and we all make mistakes and sometimes regret them. If you can't let material possessions go aside while you enjoy a friendship with a human being then you have serious issues.

5. I think you have been a bit/Really Shallow and maybe you need to think about th ethings you said an how it could have been percieved..... I think she would be really hurt to see the comparison you put between the two of you. Considering, She is probably a nice person who at 40 still looks good. She might be far from your perception of good looking and the easy lifestyle you've most likely had has lead to your ummmm so called good looks. True Beauty is a rarity and It's something you seem to be lacking...

May have had the wrong person before but a friend i have has just met a friend from many years back too and I hope to god she isn't like you seem to be.

Hasn't EB decided that BMW is what CUBs drive?

It takes conscious effort and nurturing to maintain friendships ovre 30+ years.

Umm, excuse me but how is this creepy??
My DH and I live within 7kms of where we grew up.
My closest friends are the ones that I went to school with and whom I 1st met at playgroup 30yrs ago.
What is so wrong with that?

If you knew what sort of reaction you'd get, then why are you so surprised?



You really didn't need to go into such detail about you and she. It would have been suffice to say "we've gone in completely opposite directions" or "our lives are really different now"...

If you two were so 'inseparable" then you'd still be friends today.

Meet for coffee, don't meet for coffee... whatever!

why the need to tell us that she had kids to 3 different fathers if you were not being judgmental or that she wasn't 'the pretty girl' that you remembered. Who cares, they were not relevant at all. The dog and the BMW were also irrelevant. It was just crap added to make you look so much better and classier than this woman.

It is quite obvious by your OP that looks matter quite a lot to you. Glad you can afford to never look your age.

One EB member did. Just one very outspoken member.


I agree with Micha70. I didn't come in here and insult you, just clarified which of the two ladies you were more likely to be, but seriously why would you do such a thing? What was your point?

What/who the hell are you talking about outback_thunda?

OT, CUB?

Cashed Up Bogan, dude.


LOL.

I am jellis of your fluffy dog.

I am predicting you are actually the lady who has had the 'rougher' life. Correct?

Thanks, Mischiefmaker. I always think "Carlton United Breweries" when I see CUB.

No ruffles... I think that bit was a given

Ok, now you've gone too far.

well you do sound like the typical Abbott supporter

I am really well off and have a BMW and my husband is a CEO. I would watch the executive status though, Tony doesn't like women being successful outside of the kitchen - unless you are and executive cake decorator of course

OP

You have lived life - as has she - just 2 very different lives.

For all you know she could be very happy with her life, she may not be.

You found each other, obviously have chatted, have the damn coffee, its not that much time out of your life.

You will either have a great time, or not. Give it a go before you throw it away.






This would be very interesting, made me giggle, would love to see fluffy dog cross rabbit!!

Why have a BMW when the mighty blue oval out-performs on every parameter? CEO? Well, anyone can start a company and be the CEO. All you need is the money to start up, register a name and form a Pty Ltd.

They obviously don't watch enough top gear. BMW make some dam fine cars.

OP I think you get back what you put out there. If you post ludicrous snobby details of course we will take the p*ss designed to make us judge someone soley on their "class" of course we will take the p*ss.

Now excuse me. I have to get back to playing monopoly but with real money. Tally-ho, Mayfair all the way baby/