The school enrolment forms are in. Now for the next decision I have been asked to make. Do I want them in separate classes or in together.

I thought I had it sorted in my mind. I was going to keep them together for Prep and then separate them from Grade one onwards. Their Kinder teacher said they are fine together at Kindy and they have separate friend groups. I suspect they will be in different groups academically and they have different interests. I was doing this so that I didn't throw in separating from each other on top of all the other emotions of starting school and TBH, it would be easier on a practicality level for settling in, classroom helping etc.

HOWEVER

We are having MAJOR problems with them at home ATM. Chase is into more gentle play and is rather ummmm 'sensitive' shall we say to be PC. Levi is rough, full-on and very in your face and is constantly pushing for attention. There is constant tears between them and I would hate for that to spill over into the classroom.

Totally not sure what to do so any ideas would be great.

The thing is Cat- they could be totally different in 6 months time.

This site has some really good stuff
Twins and Multiples

I would keep them together for all the reasons you said.

Also as you know being a teacher many many children are vastly different at school than they are at home

Could you negotiate with the school to put them in the same class initially but if its not working out separate them or the other way around? Probably sounds disruptive but I've thought about my two a bit even though they are 2 years away from going to school and after once thinking I wanted them together am now starting to think I will separate them. I actually just want some flexibility with the arrangement and was thinking if I talked it through with the school might get some support to be a little flexible about it too when the time comes to make a decision / see how they go. My eldest is in kindy this year and they do a lot of crossover / mixing up the classes anyway for literacy and numeracy groups, sport etc which gives them an opportunity to be together regularly through the week. Our local school also seems to have all the classes doing exactly the same thing so maybe not as disruptive to learning if a change needs to be made.I don't know - its just one of those decisions that seems impossible really - there will always be up sides and down sides to the decision that is made. This twin thing - just when you've got your head around one part of it another problem crops up.

separate..if it doesn't work then put them together in grade 1. they see enough of each other at home and school grounds and they already have their own set of friends in Kindy. It sounds like they will be fine.

They are old enough, why don't you just ask them straight out?

I am glad in a way I don't to make this decision since it's already made for me. The school doesn't allow siblings to be in the same class unless there's only one class. It also does not allow parents to teach their own kids.

I kept DD1 and DS together for Kindy and yr 1, yr 1 was because I could only get in to help 1 day a week. They are in yr 2 this yr and are going great guns.

Next year when DDs 2 & 3 start Kindy I will be keeping them together. My little girls sound like your boys in the way they are at home


This is me. Them going from a preschool with max of 70 kids to a school with 500 is daunting enough without having to be in different classes for the first time


Our school let the parents decide for kindy then in consultation after that. Glad they don't have that rule here

My nephews went into separate Kindy classes at the beginning of the year (one of them see's a Speechie, OT and Physio as he has developmental delay so they thought it would be better for both of them). Six months later the teacher suggested they change and be in the same class and within two weeks of starting Kindy for Term 3 there has been a remarkable improvement in BOTH of them in terms of their behaviour, confidence and their output in class. The school has suggested that they stay in the same class for pre-primary now....

When we were making the decision I had a couple of chats to the assitant principal about it. She had also spoken to one of the senior teachers about them who has older twins in high school. They all do the orientation together so I didn't need to make the final decision until after the orientation which helped.

But basically she told me they can put them in seperate classes and if one or both really can't handle it then they can change them and put them together. But if they start them together and it's not working the best then they feel it may be too much to seperate them. So, when she promised me that if they couldn't handle it they would put them together that pretty much made the decision a bit easier for us.

DD1 has friends who are twins and were put in Kindergarten in the same class. There was problems with them and the teacher had to try and seperate them as much as she could within the classroom as they felt it wouldn't be good for them to put them in seperate classes at that stage. They have been in seperate classes from Year 1 and are now in Year 6.

What really made us feel that seperate was best for our girls was the fact that DD2 was already reading while DD3 would run from the room if I went near the book case. DD3 was struggling with some things at first learning wise and had some confidence issues. She still isn't a very confident reader but she is on track to be where they like them to be. DD3's teacher told me last year that we had definately made the right decision as seeing that DD2 was a fair bit above her would have really destroyed her confidence. We were also able to brush off the fact that DD2 was on differnent words or book levels than DD3 because they had different teachers.

I'd go with your original plan since their kindy teacher doesn't see a drama. Unless there's an educational reason to separate, then why not leave them together? I intend to keep mine together unless it is a barrier to their learning or becomes a problem for another reason.

My twins are B/G so were always going to have different friends etc.
I "was" going to keep them together but I ended up splitting them for prep as DS was taking on too much responsibilty for his sister, not doing things she can't etc. He seemed to "know" Emma couldn't do lots of thing she could so wouldn't if she couldn't. DD had a few absences form kinder and the kinder staff all said how different he was when he didn't have to worry about his sister. he was more outgoing, confident, mixed with the other kids better etc. So we Put them in different classes and has been the best thing we have done. They both have their own groups of friends, but the fact they have 6 hours a day where they are not in each others faces is great. They also didn't get lumped as "the Twins" a pet peeve of mine.

I know the fact they have been split has def helped as we ended up having to have DD repeat a year level so the fact that they were already ok being apart was a blessing.

We're going through the same process ATM with the trio

The school I am putting my trio into only has two classes & I have decided that I want to separate the girls & so will put 2 in one class & 1 in the other. The child that I am separating (Jasmine) has already her own friends & is rather independant & so I think it will do her some good to have a break from her siblings & also give her sister a chance to make her own friends

Another consideration is this...After having spoken to a number of twin/triplet mums its become apparant that if I did decide to keep them together & then later change my mind it could be difficult. Other mums that I know who have started out with their multiples together & then later changed their minds only to be told that they have to wait till the following year because they don't have the spaces in the other classes to move other children without disrupting them & of course they don't want to do this part way through the year.

I recently experimented when I was given an opportunity to separate my trio in their swimming lessons. I found that they actually have progressed much further when separated. I'm hoping that the same theory will work in primary school...

We also spoke to the Preschool teacher about this to get her opinion on what she believed would be best. She advised that its up to us as they will be fine either way as they are fairly independant for triplets.

I guess you need to go with what you beleive would work best. If you do decide to keep them together with the intention of separating them if need be, make sure that you are able to do this first as its not always possible.

Anyways, good luck with it, let us know what you decide

Very interesting reading in this thread!

I started reading it thinking "Thank goodness I don't have to make that decision" as our school only has one class in each grade K-2.

I finished thinking "$hit, I'm stuffed, we have to wait till Year 3 to get them into a proper educational situation."

Hmm, I thought this parenting business was supposed to be easy!

(I suppose my big advantage is that they are so unalike that none of the other parents will know they are twins, and the teachers will never mix them up.)

Well, whaddaya know? My local MBA newsletter arrived in my inbox, and contained a link to a great website. Included on that website is this information regarding separating multiples at school!

(The whole website is interesting!)

My girls also start school next year. I had always intended on separating my girls (from the time they were born), but now that the time has come, I have changed my mind and will definitely keep them together.

My girls are actually really great friends, and happily play together at kinder and at home. They share friends at kinder, and I believe would not hinder one another in a learning environment. They are often concerned for their twin if something bad has happened to them, or they are hurt or sick. So I feel that the trauma of being separated would be too much to deal with, as well as adjusting to starting school. After the prep year, we will re-assess to see what will be appropriate going forward.

Do what you feel will be right for your boys. Each set of twins are different, and you are the one that knows them best!

Good luck!

rofl Janet- that is the same link I posted above! It is great reading isn't it. Certainly makes you think

In WA the PDMBA has a Multiples in School forum on Sept 13.

If it's any help at all I split my B/G twins for their Reception year. It's been no drama at all and I did it because they both have different learning styles, and different strengths.
As it is Joe has Speechie help and Learning Support as he has a large learning gap so struggles a bit...I would think he would find it really hard watching his sister in his classroom as she has completely excelled at reading and writing and already in 18 months of school (they are now in Yr 1) has finished all the Junior School (R- Yr 5) readers..while he is still working his butt off to get where he needs to be by the end of this year to keep up with the rest of his class.
They have made different groups of friends but they also get along well enough to play together at break times when they want to and with each others' friends. I also find the break for them from not being together ALL the time is a godsend, they are excited to see each other and chat about things after school. They have things to share with each other where I don't think they would do so much if they were in the same class.
They also get to be Joe and Scarlett and not "the twins" to the other kids as they are seen individually. I think it's important for them to not rely on each other too much as they will really struggle later in life if they are never taught that they are a twin, but they are also each their own person.

Thanks for your replies!

Whatever we do with them has to be that way for the year, we can't change them around partway through the year.

ATM I am probably leaning towards keeping them together but if they are painful together at Orientation days (thankyou for reminding me of those days!) we'll split them so will certainly listen to what the prep teachers think on those days.

Although it is a pain to have to think about I am very pleased it isn't like this though


as different options can be better for different sets of twins. I will also probably be one of the boys specialist teachers next year

We had our girls together for Prep. Amber is super shy/anxious so really no choice but they knew from day 1 that prep was the only year they'd be in together.

For our two it's been a great decision Amber still cried everyday of prep and to be honest the 1st day of grade 1 was hell. Both hysterical in separate classrooms was not fun.

Amber is far more academic and Olivia would just copy her and not learn for herself. Olivia is far more social and Amber would hang onto her for support constantly. Now half way through grade 2 i'm still really happy with the decision. They have some special friends of their own plus a few mutual friends. They learn EXACTLY the same things so i'm not worried about that. They have their own stories to tell at the end of the day which was a constant source of fighting in Prep. They'd argue the whole way home as to who would tell their news to me.

I think it's nice that they get treated as individuals.

From a parental point of view it was easier for me when they were in the same class. Now I get to volunteer for reading and swimming in both classes!!

When we went for interviews I asked the principal what they thought. He said 50% of parents split the kids and the other 50% wish they had. The did have a few older multiples that the parents wanted separated but by grade 4+ they just wouldn't. We were told if they disrupted each other they would be moved too.

There are a few sets of twins in the girls grades all in together and there is definately a disruptive one in each set and you sort of feel for the one who has to put up with that at home and at school.

I seperated my girls in their swimming lessons last year and they have improved SO much. DD3 is doing really well while DD2 (my scared one) started getting more confidence and is doing quite well now too. Best thing I could have done. Just wish I had thought of it sooner.

Our school have always said that their classes are temporary for the first couple of weeks until they are certain of enrolement numbers. I think thats why they were able to promise me they could have put them together if they felt they needed it last year. But I'm pretty sure that it would have needed to happen within the first week. DD1 (she's in Year 6) has never been moved but they have moved the odd child in or out of her class within that first week, so it does happen. Sometimes people move during the holidays and sometimes people put the prospective Kindergarten kids names down at a couple of schools so the enrolement numbers can change.

I felt bad at first because I felt like I was putting one childs needs ahead of the other. I felt being in seperate classes was best for one while being together might have been best for the other. But they were both fine and they do do some things together as well. (like sport) There was only one day when they had Healthy Harold at school that there was a problem. DD2 was REALLY scared of puppets and was petrified but they were really good and didn't force her to go anywhere near the van and put her in the class with DD3 for a little while that afternoon which was great. They recognised that she needed her twin for a while and did what was best for her.

This is such a hard decision to make.....my B/G twins are in year one currently and I have kept them together. I think that if one child has difficulties it is harder, my DD is mildly autistic but she has problems socialising and sometimes has difficulties getting along with the other kids, it is somewhat comforting to me to know that her brother will be there for her if she ever gets upset but I would never want him to feel that he is responsible for her. I have always said that if it was detrimental to one twin then I would separate them, luckily my twins get on really well but they also are not reliant on each other so they are like any other classmates at school and I don't see them being in the same class as a real problem.

As the end of each year comes closer I get nervous as I know that the question will be asked of me, it is really something that I struggle with and although I know that eventually the time will come I just don't really want to have to make the decision to do it. Having an autistic child who doesn't cope well with change makes it difficult as her one constant is having her brother there so it is definitely going to be the hardest decision I will ever make. We have tried to prepare them for year 3 to be the year that it will happen as in our school the class stays together from Prep and are only separated in year 3, so I have used that as the time that they may be separated and told them that that is the school rule and it isn't up to me.

Hi,
Not my forum, but I just wanted to say that every set of twins that I have been at school with (only 3) were separated in class.

I imagine that if I had twins, I would be inclined to do so, from the perspective of them not being distracted in class or feeling competitive with each other and having a chance to make separate friends and such.

Have you asked the twins what they wish to do? Does the idea of separating during class time freak them? or are they happy with the sounds of it?

This is my life at the moment too Cat...
At the school where The Feral two are going, they do a 5 week transition. The new Kinder's get moved about & mixed together in each class for 5 weeks. The Principal is happy for me to tell them what to do. The 1st week they will be together, next separate etc. The 5th week will be my final descion as to what I want them to do for the rest of the year.
At the moment I am leaning to having them together for the some of the same reasons you have. So I can help in the classroom, teacher interviews in the same place etc. And the big one? I don't want to be making 60 bloody cupcakes for Birthday Day!!! LOL

You do know that Safeway now do a box of 20 mini cupcakes for $10 don't you? I am NOT a cook and there is no way I am doing that many fiddly bloomin cupcakes for Playgroup this year LOL!

I don't think the boys have even realised there is a possibility that they wouldn't be together as we have never discussed it with them. I don't think they would really have a lot of understanding even if we explained it as they have always just been together. If we did decide to separate them I think I'd take them to the school and show how close the classrooms are to one another etc.

I watched them working together on something tonight and I did suddenly think "How could I split them' yet when they are trying to kill one another all I can think is "You two really need to be split!" So hmmm I think the school may need to make the decision for me after orientation LOL!

Gosh, I wish we had a safeway near us! That sounds good. I slaved over the oven and did a couple of batches to get ours done last year. They had 20 in each class plus I was instructed that they just HAD to take some to gymnastics and then I had to do their actual party cakes too. Nearly killed me!

Ohhh, just had a look online and saw that woolworths do 9 for $4!!! I usually avoid the bakery area of the shops.

Will they have a few orientation days? We had 4 all together which made it much easier. I remembered they told me they put mine at seperate ends of the double classroom (2 classes with the wall open) to see if they looked for each other. But they were too interrested in all the games etc to even care.

Mine turn 7 in November and I still have to tell them to keep their hands to themselves. My problem is DD3 is much bigger and stronger than DD2 and she keeps picking her up and carrying her while DD2 will scream. But even though she's little she's tough! I have caught her giving her sister a thump for picking her up when she doesn't want her to.

haha, Dh is a year 1 teacher and there are only two year 1 classes. Though it's still ages away, if it remains the same then dh will have to teach one of them..well they will break at least one policy. Dh doesn't want to teach his own kids but he's such a great teacher and I would love him to teach his own kids...his kids all excel at learning and he makes it interesting and fun.

Dh seems to think it's a non issue and they will be fine. He thinks I stress out too much. He says he has taught a few twins and they are all fine. I will let him make those decisions since he knows better than I do in that aspect.

Spewin'....We don't have Safeway up here! LMAO..

I have been through the sites that Simone & Janet had put up...After reading & doing 'checklists', I have decided to keep The Demon & Her Offsider together...God. Help. The. School.

Amen. I either make a large regular cake (it's not the huge hassle to deal with that Carers make it out to be! Just make a square cake and it's easily cut into cubes by them).
OR my latest trick is to buy packs of donuts from Coles (ideally when they're on sale...) and stack them in a pyramid shape. DONE. If you're feeling fancy you can stick some lollies on top - drape some jelly snakes etc around, a few icing flowers. But they're fine plain too.

FWIW My vote on separating twins (having tried both ways in the past) is to separate! I think we tend to focus on the Classroom - remember they'll be able to see each other and play together during break times.

It wasn't a difficult decision for us - our 2 do much better together. We put them together in kindy and pre-primary without discussing it, and then in year 1 we talked to DDs about it and let them contribute to the decision.

Thankfully our school has no set policy and lets parents decide, although they are happy to share their opinions. They also have had quite a lot of multiples go through ahead of my DDs, particularly in the current year 3 (something in the water in our suburb!). I remember talking with the deputy principal prior to kindy enrolment, and he said in his experience, separating seems to go most smoothly around year 3.

Good luck with it cat, I think orientation will be a good gauge for you.

The site that DG and Janet posted is really good. David Hay is considered a world leading expert on the subject - and he even he reckons there is no "best" way, and parents should decide based on their own kids LOL.

Hi Cat,

I have some experience. Our two are in the same class (kinder NSW) at a school with only two kinders, and I teach the other kinder (not a situation that the school has ever been in before I don't think?)... I teach them for at least one lesson a day generally (or am at least in the room for at least one of their lessons per day) as we team teach some things (or sometimes mix and separate into two 'graded' classes so I sometimes teach them alone - ie. without the other teacher in the room - too)... plus our rooms are adjoining so I am often popping my head in and see them in the playground etc all the time. I go on excursions with them, we do sport together etc.


We separated our two at Day Care when they were 3 and it was a disaster.
This was our issue (besides me teaching one of the classes) both in prep (different school) and now... so ... they are together.
This is EXACTLY the same as our two. TBH my gentler one has more friends, and my full on one is in trouble a lot more. This may be personality clash between teacher and him, but I'm sure it's more to do with him than anything... It has worked the opposite to what we had thought might happen. Full on one is more aggravating for teacher and other students so tends to be the one looking for friends at lunch etc and has actually had a few issues making him much more sensitive than we woul'dve ever expected. Anyway, my point here is that none of our home issues spill over into the classroom because there are so many other children around IYKWIM. It's like putting two drops of colour into water... it gets watered down!

There are more positives than negatives in our case. We have had a bit of an issue with one of ours and another child. It has actually been helpful to have another set of eyes in the classroom to corroborate (or quash) the stories we were hearing. They are in the same reading group and maths group so we don't have any issues with one being "smarter" than the other, although I did only discuss this with their teacher today, as I am sure I have one much more advanced than the other, but his learning style is a little bit outside of the box... so the difference is not as obvious ... she did say today (has never said this before) that she agrees with my thoughts on that one... which was interesting. They are on same reader levels, and same word lists at the moment, so I'm not sure how we'd go if one was ahead of the other... terribly I'm guessing, my more sensitive one (if he was behind) would give up "I can't do it anyway" attitude. If it were the other way around the more full on one would scream the house down and get angry! It would be everyone elses fault etc... you know what I mean.

I have been asked several times what I plan to do next year (separate or not). We've asked the boys and they are not keen, so will probably do another year together. We plan to be reasonably guided by them, unless their teacher feels it is necessary to separate them... However we are wary of the fact that once they are in their classes, they won't change unless its desperate... so we'll see.

I do agree that starting Kinder is a big enough step, putting in the extra step of separating them would be too hard IMO.

... Do they share a room at home? We are trying to convince our two to move into separate rooms at the moment (we plan to do the move over the Christmas holidays)... I've got one keen one (gentle boy!) and one not so keen! I think if they were able to separate in this situation it might improve our chances of separating later at school!

it's a tough one isn't it?

for us - we are separating - they do rely quite heavily on each other (we are seeing this at daycare) in terms of friends etc - spend the majority of the time playing together as opposed to with other children.

academically - both have different skill sets.

ultimately you can only make the decision based on what is best for your children - for ours separation is the better option, and yes i'm aware we are being 'harsh' in separating them but singletons leave their siblings and go into classes on their own (my singleton children will have to do this, and #3 has had to do this at daycare), we treat the big 2 as individuals as much as possible so this for us is just an extension of that.

good luck with your decision - we also have a gentle and not so gentle - but they swap/chop and change during the day

Oh my gosh, I totally need to come back and read this whole thread through but have no time just now. It's been something I've been dilberating over too. Our "issue" is that Kaitlyn is just a smidge better at academic types of activities that Emily, so what happens is that Emily does the, "Meh! I don't want to do it anyway" so doesn't bother trying, as if trying to avert the attention from her not being able to do it by pretending she doesn't want to do it anyway (make any sense?).

I spoke to their kindy teacher (they have been going to this kindy since they were 3, so the beginning of last year and with this same teacher so she knows them well) about it just the other day actually and asked what she thought (they go to a Montessori kindy that's attached to the school they'll be going to though the school isn't Montessori). The teacher said that emotionally she felt they needed to be together and that moving onto school is such a big thing that she thinks they need the support of each other, especially as they've always had each other, are very close and ALWAYS play together. She said she would talk to their reception teacher though about "issues" but also said that they usually seat multiples separately in the classroom anyway and then they do a lot of group work in the class, so she said she'd recommend that E and K are put in separate groups, so they'd be together, but not. I think this should work well for my two, though, I haven't done any real reasearch on the matter so, like I said am VERY keen to come back and read all these replies and links! Just thought I'd throw this in in the meantime

They do share a room and will be for a very long time I think due to space issues.

Academically I am not too concerned TBH. Chase is quite a bit further ahead than Levi but Levi doesn't really seem to care. Actually Levi doesn't care about academics at all whereas Chase is very into it. I suspect they will be in different learning groups due to their differing abilities.

Cat - I haven't had a chance to read back on the replies.

As you know our boys started Kindy this year. We had the same problem trying to decide what to do. We ended up splitting them. I must say it was the best thing we could have done.

The are both doing really well but are at different levels. One prob we have is Aidan has gotten more awards than Keenan. This of course made Keenan upset - but we just explained to him he had to do more reading (as they get an award after reading 10 books - and after getting 10 of these awards get an award at assembly), so this helped a bit.

Our boys were always together before Kindy, so it was a tough decision, and tbh my husband talked me into it (and I was still a bit apprehensive). They are honestly doing fantastically, so I would recommend it.

Also wanted to say my boys play at recess and lunch together quite a bit (prob 3 out of 5 days), and they share a room.

We are moving at the end of the year to the Northern Territory and will have no choice - as the school we have chosen only has one class per year!! So they will be sharing. I am going to speak to their teacher about it though and see if they can be in separate groups.

Good Luck Cat. I am sure they will go really well whatever you decide. It is amazing thinking our "little twins" are all at this stage hey!

My B/G are in kindy together, basically I think they are not overly dependent on each other so we kept them together, and so far so good. DD is outgoing and everyone is her friend, I think DS sort of tags along alot, but being B/G means he does get an opportunity to play with other boys. The class is only 18 kids so pretty much everyone is friends with everyone else at this age anyway.

A big benefit I have found is that being in the same class means they can support each other at home with their learning. I think we know more about what they are doing at school than we did with my singleton as they naturally talk to each other about their day at home, so we can reinforce and support them.

It also make it easier for us as parents to have the one class for morning drop offs and reading and school performances etc. As we have an older DD if we had 3 classes we would never leave the school. Also it is only the same bday party load as one child. In our school it seems every kid seems to have a kindy party. Though DD has been invited to a few extra fairy, princess ones where (quoting the parent) DS really didn't fit the criteria

In the first term their teacher separated them in their table groups as DD was giving up when she couldn't do something and DS could, but that really is her personality, so she is building her "resilience". But they are back together again this term. I haven't had a chance to ask how its going yet.

We have had a couple of days where one was sick, and the other went to school, it was a bit of a struggle convincing the healthy child that they have to go to school but a bit of money for canteen bribery works a treat.