All day every day Miss L tackles Miss A to the ground then starts body slamming her.

The screaming and crying indicate that Miss A does not appreciate this.

What to I do?

Anyone else have this problems? All the fight club threads I have read sound like they are partners in crime.

Sometimes now Miss L just needs to touch Miss A and she starts crying.

Miss L just laughs as she beats her up and thinks it's a game when I tell her no

They are 12 months old.

I feel so bad for Miss A

I'll be watching the responses to this with great interest. Delilah is a straight faced and ruthless toy stealer. Even if it means grabbing Sophie by the front of the shirt, slamming her into the cupboards, and then tossing her on the ground like a rag doll to take possession of said toy. I've been wondering how to deal with it too. Sophie obviously doesn't much appreciate such treatment and I want to protect her from it but I don't want to foster a little sooky la-la who doesn't stick up for herself and I certainly don't want Delilah to hold to the notion that such behaviour is acceptable.

I have always been ruthless regarding this. I refuse to ever let one hurt or intmidate the other.

The "criminal" is instantly removed (I used to use a porta cot) and told "ouch poor XXXX you hurt him, and made him sad/cry". I would then shower heaps of attention on the "victim" ignoring the criminal.

If they were belting each other they were both put in a cot and I would say "you made Mummy sad when you fight" and leave the room for a minute

My two are bloody defiant slow learners and took months ( years!) to get this and still do it but at least I know I am always being fair and setting the example.

I do know other peoples children get the hang of it really well!

I have been thinking of setting up a portacot in the loungeroom to start using for such things as this. You have sealed it for me, DG, time to stop thinking and start doing.

DG, did you come in and read this and go 'deja-vu' lol. The clock has turned back and its November 2008....

ECB & DC - No real advice sorry, by the time we worked out that Isaiah was actually SN and not just ignoring us, I had no energy to try all the tactics over again with the fighting! The fact that neither of you have packed your bags and moved out leads me to believe you're bunkering down for the long haul with your multiples so just get the cameras handy (for the rest of us to enjoy but of course ) and leave your sanity yet again at the door.

rofl Gumby- I have to admit it brought a smile to my face in a totally non hostile " I am so sorry but gee we told you so- we were not being crap parents after all" type of way.

I have vague memories of people frowning on us a dn "not loving" our children properly with out Fight club antics

And for memories sake- here is one of the first "Speed Bump" photos where "nothing will get in my way I will have that toy!"

We always knew it would raise eyebrows. Only a multiple mother can love her brawling children though. Fight Club isn't about the brutality, its about sharing distress, from both mothers and children .

Ahh, Dark Frost.



We so need to start up Fight Club again, I have this awesome picture of Dark Frost using the bin bag (you know those calico things you hang on the pantry door knob and fill with plastic shopping bags?) at my dads place as a practice punching bag.

And they both have some new moves too. The Howler Monkey (Kyla) leaps off everything and has this nasty habit of opening and shutting doors with all her might. Isaiah randomly calls out 'Help, Help!' in a distressed voice in public (he doesn't use speech like an ordinary 3 year old, but, can recall and recite TV shows, songs, bits of dialogue from just about anywhere), and recently picked up on the fine art of headbutting...

Ahhh the memories!

I can laugh about it now. But I resorted to the portacot when mine did that.

At first it was for DD3 when she tackled or climbed on DD2 while DD2 layed there crying. Or she would sit on her etc. But then DD2 got her own back big time! She decided that every single thing she could play with that was resonably hard was for hitting DD3 over the head with. It got so bad that I had to remove all plastic type toys for a while. She would pick a toy up then "wack" then DD3 would scream and I would say no and she would smirk and "wack, wack, wack, wack" as many times as she could before I took the toy off her. So we basically used the portacot as a time out.

I like the idea of the portacot, will keep that in mind. For those of you that used it as a time out, did you have any problems getting your little ones to sleep in one if you were away etc.?

thanks!
D

I've been having these issues as well.

My youngest (who is also the biggest), is in short terms a sook. Whether it be a touch from their sibling or their sibling taking a toy, piece of food, etc, there are always tears.

When my youngest is the bully, my eldest reverts to biting. Once again the tears start.

Both have battle scars & bruises from their little escapades.


I love the idea of using a portacot for time out. I might have to look at getting one.

Oh god - thank you for writing this post OP. I logged on to look for kid wrangling techniques as my 15 monthers are driving each other and me nuts.

I have been trying to use the step as time out (which worked for my first 2 but not so much for these). I saw a while back Kammy suggested using the stroller.....BUT

my questions are

did they start to "hate" the porta-cots or stroller? Mine already don't really like the porta-cots when we go away and am worried about tainting them (the porta-cots not the kids) more - MILs would be unbearable without portacots. Ditto for stroller - which I can't survive without day to day.

was the "time out spot" whatever it is on a different room? We have upstairs and downstairs and downstairs is all open plan (which seemed like SUCh a good idea before children) except for the toilet. Am loathe to lock them in the toilet . Seems like that might cause "issues".

what did you do when the victim insists on visiting the offender in the time out zone?

DG - loved the photo - at least the speed bump is smiling.

Anymore more wrangling techniques greatly appreciated. At the moment they are all playing togeher nicely, oops no I lie, they are working together to wreak a trail of destruction pulling clothes off the clothes horse!!

Thanks again - loving all the stories

I don't have twins, just 3 very close in age then a big age break. The tussles, fisticuffs and everything else between various combinations of the older 3 ..... enough to make a saint swear as my dad used to say. Sending to their room for the older one, one onto the playpen (usually the younger ot which ever pairing either 1 &2 or 2 &3 - it was never between 1 & 3). They do grow up (if not out of this) and I heard on the radio yesterday that there is research showing that this sort of sib rivalry / scrapping leads to adults with really good conflict resolutions skills and fosters close adult relationship between these sibs.

ETA: 17months between DS1 & DS2, 20months between DS2 and DS3.

It didn't seem to effect my girls by using the portacot for a time out. But we started using one of those fold out foam lounges for sleeping at grandmas etc from when they were about 12mths (they had them there). When we used the portacot for a time out it was competely empty and then when it was for sleeping it had sheets and blankets plus going for a sleep is different to being out in a time out.

Our time out spot was just in the loungeroom with the other 2 being told to just ignore the naughty one.

Thanks for all the replies I've been observing their behaviour closely this week.

My biggest issue is that 99% of the time there is no toy involved Miss L's idea of fun is tackling Miss A down to the ground and smothering her in hugs and kisses while she screams at her to get off or latching on for a piggy back ride whilst L crawls past.

I don't feel right putting L in to time out for being affectionate or because her idea of play is more hands on and rougher than A's. At the moment I'm just moving her to the other side of the room and telling her "No. You make your sister sad/cry when you do that".

I like the idea of A toughing up and clonking L on the head to get off or when they can walk simply running away.

Funny as yesterday I googled this and up came old EB threads Except they were 2 year olds

Hey DC..my boys are doing exactly the same thing. My older twin rugby tackles his smaller brother. I do what you do so far. Separate and say 'no' but hope that my smaller DS will start to defend himself. He seems to be starting to. You are right, its hard to discipline them for kissing and hugs, albeit rough.

Katie was crying a short white ago so I went to check on her and she was crying in her sleep and saying "Dai Dai" repeatedly. Poor baby.... "Dai Dai" means younger bro in Chinese and is what she calls Dayton.

She must have had a bad dream. Probably fighting over a toy or him on top wrestling her or him hitting her with a toy plastic hammer or him running of with her precious blankie (she's still crawling 80% of the time).

Or maybe she just loves her lil twin bro so much

My ds1 is almost 5 and never has never talked in his dream or anything that I could understand.