I need some help!!!!!

My 2 DD's are turning into little terrors at meal times (ok so maybe all day, but meal time is my tackle ground right now).

I cannot get them to eat, to sit at the table, to use manners..nothing.

Breakfast: They get up, get nappy changed/undies on, face and hands washed. They sit at the table, eat their yogurt THEN it starts. They refuse to sit and eat their toast, but instead run around with it. No matter how many times i ask nicely for them to sit. They wont. They back chat me or scream out at me. I put them in time out and they laugh and run off again.

Lunch: Hands washed while i make lunch. Once i put it on the table they run amok again. Like breakfast i cant get them to sit. Or they sit and take a few mouthfuls and run off again.

Dinner: Hands washed, TV turned off. They sit at the table, look whats on offer and then say 'Im full' and take off again. Occasionally they will eat the meal, but as soon as they are done...run. Usually DH and i are not far off finishing. They used to sit and wait. I have always taught them to use manners and not leave the table.

All i want is to be able to sit and eat our meals as a family. No back chatting. No screaming (by this i mean yelling or shouting).

The last two nights they haven't eaten tea because they refused it. Im not prepared to offer different meals every time they dont eat. I know the meals i serve are ones they eat, so its not like they havent had it before and its new.

If i do give them something new and they dont like it, i still encourage them to at least try it first. Then i will get them something different. I never let them starve.

They used to be so good, but the past 3 weeks (ever since we got back from visiting MIL) they have turned into terrors.

Please...how do i combat this behavior (back chatting, yelling etc) and get them to sit at the table and eat?

In my experience, its that whole age range thing! All of mine have done it. Yes it sh*ts me to tears, nothing works! For my DD we have just about given up, we are done with the arguing after the two boys and now her!

Our problem is only dinner though She just flat out refuses.

Actually DS2 still complains about dinner and most nights says he isn't going to eat it, and goes to bed instead. hes 6 in a few weeks!

Thankfully DS1 stopped complaining about dinner and just eating it when he was about 5yo.

I'm no help at all, but just so you know, there are mannnnnny of us who have the same problem lol!

I hear you! I have 2 and 3.5yr old DD and its the same in my house....every day...it was the most frustrating thing about our lives...but things have changed the last few weeks...i have adopted a 'well if you dont eat you wont starve' policy and decided to take the pressure down about this issue and ride it out. they sit for a bit and eat...they arehappy to run around and come back for a bite then run around come back for a bite....i give them a few goes to get back up at table and continue 'or theres no dessert' and then just take food away. luckily they are good eaters and ebb and flow depending on how busy they are etc so i dont have to worry about them not having a full meal each time.

I read somewhere that if your child has one good meal in a day then you have nothing to worry about. I have decided to ride this stage out as it has been causing me so much stress and now i pretend i dont care if they eat or not. seems to work- i am less stressed! I also am compromising and am doing what i can to get thru each meal stress-free...this includes making toast and giving it to them when they are in the car on way to park/shops/day care and kids often eat their sandwiches in the car on the way home before lunch sleeps...they are a captive audience and are strapped in with nothing else competing for attention- my car is filthy, but its worth it some days.....i also give the kids 'supper' before bed if they havnt had much dinner and they usually wolf this down..good luck at the end of the day you just have to do whatever it takes to get through the day!! take care, jen

Its so frustrating. I try to take the 'they wont starve' approach but they continue saying 'Im hungry'...but wont eat...go figure.

I have the exact same issue with my DDs who are 4.5 and nearly 2! Meal times drive me absolutely crazy! Basically by the end of the day when it is dinner time I just don't have the patience or the energy to deal with it and end up yelling! It is horrible!

My DD2 had a health issue that affected her eating so we have basically just let her be wild whilst eating and we were chasing her around the house trying to get a mouthful down! She has now had surgery but unfortunately has established terrible, terrible habits that we have no idea how to deal with! My DD1 then copies what she is doing - yes the 4 year old copies the 1 year old!!!

Anyway, I am absolutely no help to you but just wanted to say that we are in the same situation! Big hugs as I know how frustrating it is!

i have a 2.5 and a 4yr old (and baby)-
things i have tried that have worked (for some time anyway!) :

(i won't tell you all the things that i have tried that didn't work as there isn't room....!)

i have boosters with seatbelts - and put them on if the ae wiggly or theaten them with the high chair- an way of making it harder to get up and down.
also my house rules are- if they get up three times from beakfast it goes in the bin.
if they muck around at dinner time - send them to bed without any dinner.

Hard short term, but they learn very quickly. I had to crack down with my oldest, and now he eats most nghts whereas before he wouldn't ever. i find it's better when i make a plan of action, agree it with hubby and don't let it escalate - that 123 magic, no emotion etc - my kids won't eat when they ae stressed. also- I brought dinner forward - 5:30 was too late, and too tired=chaos. made it 5ish instead and everyone was calmer. Not fixed but some much better improvement....

brekky -
made it into magical brekky - superhero/fairy food with magical powers ....
put fairy sprinkles on weetbix and called it cake....
star charts - including making own brekky
bribery....

can't think of other strategies - but have tried millions as DS1 hates sitting and eating. totally agee with the car seat suggestion. my car stinks but at least they eat!

My girls are 3y3m and 2y4m and DS is 14 months....little handfuls

Ive tried the booster seat with belts + high chair...the monkeys undo the belts and get out (a bit like they undo their belts in the car too hmm).

123 magic...works with DD2 but not DD1....but even now its failing with DD2.

Dinner here is anywhere form 6-7...any earlier and they are even more out of control. Bed is 730-8. Although im looking at getting it earlier.

At least i dont feel alone now...and that there are other mums and households battling the same dramas i am.

I guess ill just plug along and hope that they grow out of it soon enough

you are definately not alone! everyone i know has the same problem and we all get tied up in knots about it....I agree, just ride it out, you are doing all the right things- their jobs are to test! glass of wine at dinner time really helps!
take care.

Just on the dinner thing, I find my DS eats most of his food during the day, so isn't hugely hungry at dinner. Plus he's going to bed shortly after so he doesn't really need more food just to sleep. I also find that the hungrier he is, the better he eats. So if he's messing around too much, I remove the food and just let him play.

I also read somewhere that you should look at what a child eats over a week rather than just a day.

Denise

Yes you may have a point there CrazySingleMum...DD1 eats ALOT through the day....its like she never stops, but is always complaining she is hungry. Come dinner she has been bugging me for food, i serve it and she is all of a sudden full. Then once dinner has been cleared she starts up hoe hungry she is again.

Jenstone a glass of wine at dinner sounds good!

Got to love the MIL I would take them back to her and tell her to fix what she's undone. LOL

Seriously sounds like my household at the moment. I really want them to stay in their seats until everyone's finished their meals but can you really see this happening without hell breaking loose? at the end of the day you just want to relax and wind down. They're busy little bee's that have more important things to do than sit around waiting for other people so I just let them go, will be different when they get older though.