My DD1 is becoming a demon toddler!!! Its not too bad at home because I can do timeout when she gets too naughty. She has started screaming hysterically for no reason. But what do you do when you are out?

Its absolutely terrible to go to the shops at the moment.....when we get there she will throw herself on the floor and scream, she doesnt want to go in the trolley or pram and tries to literally throw herself out, she wont walk - either by herself, on a leash etc. I'm at my wits end......I have started online food shopping but still need to go at least once a week to the shops.

I'm sick of the stares and people blocking their ears as I go past because my child wont stop screaming at the top of her lungs - this can go on for at least an hour!!!

Today I got her a donut at the shops and she was happily eating away in the pram, as soon as she finished, BAM! DEMON!

I'm stressing out because I will be having my third bubs soon and need to be able to get out.

OH! OP! i know EXACTLY what you mean! (i even started a thread about my own tantrum chucking toddler a while back).
It seemed like it all came out of the blue, one day he just HATED going out to the shops, being in his pram, sitting in the trolley etc etc. He would scream from the time we got the shops until we left. NOTHING pacified him and i would usually just have to drop everything and take him home because i was so embarrassed by all the yelling and screaming. Lots of people here on EB gave suggestions like get him distracted with something (like food) and also get him involved in the shopping (let him help pick up items etc).
He is still at 3.5 such trouble to take to the shops that now i only go out when DH can look after him at home. When i DO have to take him, i get a trolley straight away and put him in and tell him we are going to go and look at Buzz and Woody at the toy shop, then i'll try and distract him by buying him a bread roll from Bakers Delight or somewhere. But i try not to take him because it usually results in a MASSIVE tantrum. Thank GOD he goes to preschool 2 days a week, i can go to the shops in peace! I have 3 boys and he is the only one like this.

Good luck, sorry i couldn't be of more help, just wanted you to know that I KNOW WHAT U ARE GOING THROUGH!! its rough eh?

Frustrating! The only thing that has worked for us (is we go shopping after Church on a Sunday... so my DH is with us)... and if DD played up... she went straight to the car... with DH while DS and I finished the shopping. Sometimes DS would get a treat... and DD wouldn't... because she would behave herself while we were shopping.

I found it to hard to do too much with DS and DD... so often it worked better when I just had DD with me. But it's hard... when you have three kids... and you have to give them all attention... and tantrums can be just plain annoying and embarassing.

Hope you can find something that works for you.

thanks for your replies, glad to know that I'm not the only one going through this....sometimes it feels that way.

Hoping she outgrows it soon.

Oh I'm hearing you lol. My DD is not 2.5yrs yet but a NIGHTMARE to take out shopping. I used to do online shopping because of this (might start going back to it) but as we get half our groceries from Aldi I'd still have to go out. Grocery shopping is usually now done on a weekend when DH can come with me, on my own when DH is home or at night after DD has gone to bed.

My DD also hates the pram & trolley & will spend the whole entire shopping trip trying to launch herself out of the trolley or squeeze out of the pram harness (no matter how tight I do it she can find a way out ). DD likes to walk but I make her wear her little unicorn backpack with the leash but this doesn;t last long either before she is laying spread out on the ground screaming refusung to walk, if she isn't in the harness she runs away. Bribery doesn't work nor does distration with food or toys etc, I usually end up just going home.

Also waiting with great anticipation for her to grown out of this phase (might take awhile I've heard, my nephew was untrustworthy to behave out shopping until he was 5 years old ).

Demon Toddler - LOL!

I call DD1 Cyclone Chloe. It's just the age (I hope). I still try to be firm in public but it is embarrassing when they kick, scream & throw themselves to the ground.

I think consistency helps. If you have one punishment at home, you need to have the same punishment out shopping. If time out involves sitting on the parents room couch for 5 mins, it might be an option.

That was when I realised Woolworths online shopping was worth the $13 delivery charge. I seriously bought almost everything online, or else waited until DH was at home or I could drop DD off with the ILs in order to go out.

It was only a phase though. DD at 4y/o is now once again (mostly) a pleasure to shop with.

Toddlers and shopping don't mix.
My older son has finally gotten old enough to take shopping and now son number 2 is so naughty I need a drink when I get home!

Mine doesn't do tantrums yet but he does run away and he pulls stuff off shelves. He can climb straight out of a trolley even with a strap on.

I am at the point where I don't take him - except for a quick, pick up a few things and then he has food bribery. Ie. a chocolate given in very small pieces to stretch it out.

I put my toddler in the trolley and have him help me, I always have drinks and snacks on hand too.
I don't attempt to do clothes shopping or anything like that with him!

This is all we do too. Sometimes if things have gone very well DD1 has a ride on one of those ride on things but we talk about it all in the car on the way to the shops and I go through all of the specific behaviours that are ok and that aren't and explain what consequences will happen for the bad and that there is a possiblilty of rewards for the good. Then when you're there we just get her as involved as possible. She puts everything into the trolley (dropped from a great height usually) and now that she's bigger she actually walks next to the trolley and helps choose items from the shelf. For things that don't matter (like chopped tomatoes) she even gets to choose which brand we buy as I figure the extra 20 cents here and there is worth it to keep her interested.

She's 3 now and really easy to take out but we've been doing all of that stuff above since she was about 12 months.

Any demon behaviour she used to get picked up and taken to the parents room and she would sit in a cubicle and have time out followed by a chat about what was ok and what wasn't.

I hear you OP.

I've given up trying to achieve anything with the demon baby in tow. She is just vile. At 19m she has given up daytime naps, given up sitting in strollers or trolley and will only walk until she is tired then its 'carry carry'.

luckily my 19 month old is pretty well behaved at the shops so far. Might have to try the timeout in the parents room idea for my demon though. Have tried getting her to help with the shopping but I cant even get into the supermarket with her because she is hysterically screaming.

So funny, my DH rang me today to tell me that he saw someone at the shopping centre with a demon toddler and wanted to tell me that we werent the only ones suffering!

well we had boys, so dinky cars at the end of the shopping trip seemed to work a treat!! They can still be terrible, but there is nothing like a good bribe to keep them moving.

I feel like a prisoner at the moment, cant even go for a walk! Tried this morning with the girls and couldnt make it past the end of the driveway as Chelsea decided to throw herself on the floor flailing arms and legs like a cockroach stuck on its back, screaming hysterically.

Well, i am thinking of you OP, because i have to go to the shops soon and my little tantrum chucker has to come with me! i'm already psyching him up for it, but i know it will just be screams and spitting when we get there.

Hey there,

One thing that has not been mentioned here, this maybe the problem?
Could it be that she is acting up because number three is on the way and she is realising that she will have even less attention? Some of my friends kids did this when subsequent siblings were on the way and that seemed to be the reason why their once perfect child evolved into a demon.

I hope that this demon phase is just that a phase. I wish you well and I hope that some sort of sanity is restored in your household and soon!!!

Good Luck!

I got a double pram and before we went shopping she would be put in the pram and locked in.. I just coud not trust her to throw a tantrum. At this stage I always either had them in the trolley or the pram and never let them out.. Could only get a few bits shopping but at least I was out.. 4 and a quarter now and slowly getting better finally!

OP you're definately not alone.

My 2.9 DD is a little bugger as well. Not only do we have tantrums but she is a runner so has to be leashed or just runs and she runs fast. I've only recently discovered this leash that goes around the wrist and is elastic, was really cheap too only $7 but it has made my life so much easier for times when there is no choice but to leave the house with her. She has been so naughty (and loud) while out sometimes that even my 12 year old daughter is embarrassed.

As far as supermarket shopping goes, I avoid the supermarket unless I'm alone...not worth the stress.

dd is the same. hates thr pram and the trolley. i was buying her things to eat but now she is bored. i've given up hope! i also just try to go without her but it just isn't always practical.

long gone are the days where she would sleep in the pram while i browsed!

edited to add: dd can escape her pram. locking her in doesn't help

Catmeow - Yep I know how you feel, my DD has been escaping her pram for nearly 12 months and she isn't even 3 yet....the other thing thats annoying about her doing that is that I used to go walking with her in the pram but can't do that anymore because she won't sit in the pram and can't walk quick enough or far enough......

I can sympathise as well. My 2 year old DD is terrible to take shopping. To start with, it takes me AGES to actually get her in the trolley because she kicks and screams until I finally manage to wrestle her legs through the holes. (The other week I fought to get her in the trolley in the carpark for about 5 minutes, went into the shops, and an old man came up to me laughing and said "Finally got her in eh?")
Then once she's in the trolley, she howls to get out the whole way through the supermarket because she wants to walk. If I let her walk, she runs off. If I use a harness or try to hold her hand, she drops to the ground and refuses to move.
Even if I hold her hand while crossing the road, she lies down on the road.

So, I know exactly where you're coming from and how frustrating it is!

As much as I feel sorry for you all, I have to say I'm glad that I'm not the only one going through this.

My DD occassionally will wear a wrist strap but other times she will just drop to the floor and cry. Shes a runner too so I cant just let her walk, especially since I cant run very well at the moment being the size of a whale Pram's no use either, even strapped in she arches her back, gets out of the straps and tries to throw herself out while its moving.

We had a really successful shopping trip the other day.....I threatened her and said if she wasnt good then she wouldnt get her Wiggles. She threw her teddies in the trolley and practically jumped in, was quiet the whole trip......it was so much bliss I think I circled the trolley for at least 30 minutes in disbelief Not sure if it will work again but I will definitely try it!

oh hugs, that is tough.

my DD2 is the tantrum girl, throws herself around and tries to bang her head etc. I bribe with food when I can otherwise just have to leave! I have 3 little ones wherever I go and my other 2 never have these tantrums

it is easier on weekends when DH is there as he can take her out and give her a change of scenery, for me I know she doesn't like crowds and lots of noise and people, it really upsets her so try to do things early or when she's just had a nap so she's at her best!

good luck
corrie:)

My DD1 used to be just the same....and would run away (for some reason only in clothes stores as she liked to hide under the clothes).

I ended up taking her shopping one on one and we talked all the way to town about the rules when shopping. When we pulled up at the shops I would ask what the rules were.

If she didn't follow the rules we would talk about what she did that was wrong. We also talked to her about stranger danger and why it was important not to run away. At first she didn't seem to care...but then if she ran away and I would say..OK goodbye I am going now...she would come and hold my hand.

The consequence of not following the rules was that she had to hold my hand or sit in the trolley. It also came down to any treats too. We live out of town so going to the shops is a big once a week trip so no treats meant a week of going without.

It is a pleasure to take her shopping now and thankfully DD2 is following her lead and is generally really helpful and well behaved.

That is the other thing...to get them involved and tell them how helpful they are. My girls love helping to unpack the groceries once we are home too.

I hope you are able to find something that works. Wiggles have helped I see!!

Good luck

Tilda

I hate reading threads like this with mothers refering to there children with such awfull terms

Its either a behaviour problem or its something more serious like a sensory overload ect. Is the behaviour the same no matter who has the child? or is it just you? If its consistant with diffrent people then i would presume that it could be something enviramental causing the overload. I think its something that should be taken as a real issue not just a child acting up.

have you tried to shop early in the morning before the crowds arrive? Have you tried putting sunglass' on or a cap so they can 'hide' from the visual stimulation of the crowd? or putting headphones on so they cant hear all the confusing loud noise? Alot of kids will make loud sounds, louder than the distressing sounds so they can control the sounds they can hear. Have you tried slowing down and treating it like a stroll so its not a mad rush that they are draged into unwillingly. Dont just get them involved in the shopping but get them involved in looking at how others are acting arround them. Talk to them about why that lady might be rushing past or why that old man is walking slowly ect. It will make it alot easier to talk about how their behaviour is standing out to others arround them. dont worry about the silly things they will say after they get the hang of the game. Im sure the realy dark skinned man didn't mind being asked by a 3yr old if he was a shadow he sure laughed about it latter with his friend.

Not taking them isn't the answer. they wont learn the skills needed to act in public unless taught expecialy if its not comming naturaly. It cant be something they just grow into over time. It takes loads of patents and understanding.

My DS was simmilar to alot of kids you mums are talking about but i decided that it was just a skill he needed work on. I put my younger DD in care for the few hours a week when i went food shopping and i worked on him. We tried so many diffrent things and now he is an angel shopping. This was long before i learned he had autim so i didn't have any idea why he was getting so distressed but even autistic kids have the ability to learn the rules of social skill. Its just harder work with loads of repitition of talking about the social rules expected and re-enforsing it time after time after time... We also have a list of rules the i need to read out before we walk into a shop of any kind each time. Its things like; No asking for sweets, No walking away from the pram/trolly, No yelling and always ask mummy before you take something off the shelf(he steals). I have a bag hanging from the pram/trolly with drinks and snacks that he can assess. I always remind him whats in it. I ask about the toilet "do you need to have a wee?"
the worst thing is to get almost a trolly full and they kids need to do a wee
I have a reward at the end like a promise of a happy meal. I constantly praise for following the rules during the shop. I always notice when he sees something he wants to take but leaves it on the shelf, showing self restraint. I always let some bad behaviour go with him still getting the reward but i always have to take the time to stop and get down with him and have the rule talk again. If the behviour stops then it will get rewared by praise and the happy meal at the end.
While he is eating the happy meal im constanly telling him how happy it makes me for him to have it ect.
I can now do shopping with all three of my kids at any time of the day and have great kids. Not perfect but we are all happy and thats alot to ask for

Give yourself a pat on the back for putting up with it for so long and take a deep breath then get back into it.

Tildababy great post

Yep, online grocery shopping saved my life. The delivery fee counteracts the money I used to spend on treats to bribe them to be good at the shops. So much easier!

Hi there - Lollypops last way longer than donuts.
Here's hoping she grows out of it quickly!