Hi Tam,

You’re right, it’s a no-win situation – but personally I think your older daughter’s complaint is more valid than your younger daughter’s complaint!

Anyway, I have asked AMA Vice President Dr Steve Hambleton for his professional opinion.

“Anywhere that you puncture the skin you have the risk of infection,” he says. “And at that age, if you are doing it purely for cosmetic reasons – well, it’s a big decision to make. There are significant risks of diseases such as hepatitis B and C and HIV/AIDS being transmitted in unsafe piercing studios or when piercing is done by unqualified friends or relatives in non-sterile conditions.
Other risks involved in piercing include infections which can result in blood poisoning and severe scarring. As such it’s important to ensure that wherever you have the piercing done is a clean and sterile environment. The AMA has put out a booklet called “Ask some piercing questions” which you can access online here.

But Tam apart from the risk of infection, which is a risk at any age, there is also a higher risk with young children that they could tear their earlobe. “Children in particular are doing adventurous things – they have an active life which means that there’s a higher risk of catching their earring on something and tearing their ear,” says Dr Hambleton. “Older children will be more aware of the risks and therefore more cautious but toddlers and young children won’t give it a second thought. A torn ear lobe can heal, but it can cause excessive scarring.”

Dr Hambleton has three daughters of his own and imposed a minimum age 10 limit on each of them. “They all have their ears pierced now, but they weren’t allowed to have them done before age ten,” he says. “By that age they are old enough to understand that they have to sit totally still even though something is going to hurt. But prior to that age when they were still at a higher risk of catching an earring and tearing their ear, it was a no from us.”

EB Members: Did you pierce your children’s ears? Do you have any advice for Tam?

.

What is the point of a 3 year old having earrings I think it look ridiculous, your older daughter had to wait so can your younger daughter

I had to wait til I was 12! It's safer to wait. You don't want little boys pulling at them at kinder etc. A friend of mine got hit in the head with a ball by another kid at school (she was about 8) and it pushed her earing right through her ear and made a terrible mess.

My sister and I had to wait until we were 12 to get our ears pierced. As the older one who had wanted my ears pierced for a while, I would have been mighty miffed if my sister had been able to get hers done at the same time.

I think purely because your older daughter had to wait, your younger one should too.

Personally I'm not a fan of pierced ears on littlies. But each to their own.

The risk of it being ripped out or the like would be a concern to me. I think there is also the growth thing and possible allergy (although I believe that can be minimised).

I think you're just going to have to be firm with the younger one and point out that there are lots of things her sister can do that she can't - that's just life and she has to get used to it (easier said than done with a three year old, I know!).

Maybe you can buy some of those stick on fake jewels or something, so she can feel like a "big girl", in the meantime.

my DD had her ears pierced at 3 and no problems at all then or now...she loves them she is proud of them..each to their own though..

Tell her that she has to wait until she's 12 like her big sister.

The other thing is - speaking as an older sister. There was nothing more infuriating for me than having to wait until a certain age to do/wear/be allowed to do/ have something, then my 4 yr younger sister getting whatever not long after I did. I had to be 14 to get a bikini, wear make-up, 16 for other things - Sister got hers at 12 or 14. The list goes on.

Some medical risks - but the real risk is that the child will look like a bogan.

oh ok so now if a young child had her ears pierced it is now classified as bogan...exactly what isnt bogan now days????

my DD has her ears pierced so you will class her as bogan just for that...or myself???

pffft some of you people are obsessed with being bogan and really i dont think any of you know what really being bogan means..i know i dont so why doesnt someone classify that to me...

Well not me.

I wouldn't have the younger child's ears pierced. At some point the younger child has to realise that they can't have everything the same and this is a battle I would fight.

R

I had my DD's peirced about 8 months old after talking with my GP. My dr said to do it before nine months or after 9 years because children's infection rates are much higher between those ages. Plus you can tell a 3 y.o not to touch... but really

I think pre teens look horrid with piercings, just my personal opinion. I have 3 girls and they will not be getting piercings done until they are teens. If and when it will be done in a professional peircing studio with single use needles and autoclaved non consumables.

Anyone who gets their piercings done at the local hairdresses with and unsterile "gun" is a fool.

Don't pierce her ears just because she's thrown some tantrums. Your 3 yo needs to learn what "no" means.
I find it strange you'd consider piercing a 3 yo's ears just because she says she wants it. She's THREE.

I had my own ears pieced just before my fifth birthday and have regretted ever since.

Because my earlobes were so small, the person who did it pieced my ears very close to the edge of the lobe.

And I have now grown up never wearing earrings, as they look completely stupid.

I wish my parents had waited just a few more years for me to grow into my ears!! Perhaps then the job could have been done properly and I would have been able to wear earrings.

Due to my experience, I've told myself if I ever have a little girl I'd definitely wait until she's 10.

I have a 3 year old who wants all sorts of ridiculous stuff. I won't be piercing her ears just as I won't be feeding her ice cream for dinner or let her play on the road. Just because she wants it, doesn't mean it's right for her. Three year olds need to learn and understand what NO means. I know it's tough but I think waiting until 10 at the earliest makes perfect sense.

I had to wait til I was 16 to get my ears pierced. It was my dad's rule, his reasoning I would be less inclined to get anything else pierced. When I turned 18 got several more piercings, much to his distain, I guess he learnt from that then!

If you have made the older one wait in ALL fairness you have to make the 3yo wait too!

Both my DDs have their ears done (2.5 & 1.5) and no they don't look bogan! But that was my choice.
If they are a good piercer they will use only plastic earrings for piercing (prevent allergic reactions) and will go through propper care etc.

I don't really think that the age is the issue...it's that your child is throwing a tantrum and she may get what she wants by doing it. Maybe enforce the "no" simply because she had that tantrum, to make a point.

[My parents had my ears pierced at birth; no problems at all.]

My sisters and I had our ears done when we turned one. None of us suffered any ill effects.

No, we are not bogans. Yes, we do have Mediterranean ancestry. I don't have a problem with pierced ears on a child. The only reason DD isn't going to get hers done when she turns one is that I have decided to wait until she is old enough to ask, that way she can have her ears done as a treat.

I don't get all the fuss on this issue, it's not irreversible like a tattoo or anything.

As for the oldest having to wait but not the youngest, well that just comes with the territory IMHO. I'm the eldest of six - I had to fight all the battles while my younger siblings got it easy. Tough. There's plenty of privileges that come with being the oldest.

We had DD's ears pierced about 4 weeks ago, she is 2.5yrs. We have had no problems, however, she reminds us that we have forgotten to spray her ears!! We told her the antiseptic solution was to make her ear rings sparkly, so she reminds us every morning and night to make her ear rings shiny!!

She dosn't look like a bogan!!

There was no real reason why we decided to get them done now. I had mine done at 11 and was terrifed, I thought younger would be better as she wouldn't have the build up.

I think for you OP, the real issue here is that you made your DD1 wait till she was 12, therefore, the 3 year old needs to wait also. Its only fair.

OK - I've made a statement so I should probably back it up. I just think that piercing is a really personal, important decision - you're permanently marking your body, and a person should only do that if they fully and informedly consent to it. A three year old doesn't have the capacity to provide informed consent to having their body punctured, so for that reason, it just doesn't seem OK.

As for the bogan part, I just think it's in poor taste to pierce a little girl's ear as though she were a teenager, or a woman. It's sort of like allowing them wearing leapord print, or high heel knee-high boots to preschool. So maybe not bogan, as such, but I do think that suc practices are, statistically speaking, more often engaged in by bogans than by people with good taste.

That's just it, it's a "personal decision", and you're more than entitled to your opinion, of course. But if you choose to "back up" that opinion, I'd be careful about bringing up "statistics", unless of course, you've actually done a study on it or can quote a reliable study. Otherwise, maybe best to just say that we all have our opinions on the matter.

I am a proffecional body peircer and I see more problems with the 12 to 20 age group. I can safely say once my daughter is born and we are ready to venture out of the house the first think I will do is peirce her ear's. but I have proffecianal experince and that tells me kids between about 2 and 11 are the worst for the peircer... but it Is a personal decision and EVERYONE needs to know all the possible bad things that can  happen and i like to take the time out to sit down and talk to people about the risks, but most peircers dont. So in my opinion no matte the age of the child you need to be sure YOU as a parent are going into it as informed as you can be..

I don't think pierced ears on a young child looks 'bogan' . . . the same way I don't think a child has to have pierced ears either . . .

I think as a parent/guardian, you make that decision after considering the pros and cons . . .

Some people love it . . . Some people despise it (as is evident from this post) . . .

I remember my younger sister got her ears pierced when she was around three and man she screamed while it was done . . . but now she's all grown up, she's really glad she got it done then . . .

Each to their own I guess, but I don't think either choice makes someone a bad parent . . .

When I was three, I desperately wanted my ears pierced.
My mum obliged.
I think it might be one of my earliest vivid memories: sitting in that chair, having needles shot through my ear with a loud bang of the gun. I screamed when the first one went in and, through tears, declared I didn't want to do it again. "You asked for this," mum said, "so now you need to finish it."
I recall the pain. I don't recall what it felt like to have earrings at three, four or five but at—six years old—my memory returns. I was sitting in school one day and my hand wandered up to my ear for the first time in years, I suppose. I felt a large lump in my ear lobe. I had no idea what it was—a large, scary, bulging lump in my lobe. But where was my earring? My first thought was that my earring had fallen out. "Oh no, I've lost my earring", I thought.
But I hadn't lost it. The SKIN on my EAR had GROWN OVER my EARRING! I panicked. I started to cry and when the teacher asked what was wrong, I told her "My ear has grown over my earring." She sent me to the sick bay and somehow, the nurse managed to pry it out.

Would I get my three year old's ears pierce. No, probably not. They have other priorities, such as playing and they're not aware enough to notice an infection or the skin silently growing over the earring trying to repair itself.

well i as a parent keep an eye on my daughters ears...she has sleepers instead of studs because even when older i have seen people whose studs have tried to pull through and get stuck in the ear...i had both ears pierced at the same time so done quick..and she has never ever touched them even at age 3...pretty good for a three year old i'd say....if a parent decides to get their daughters or sons ears pierced then it should be up to the parents to look after and keep an eye on the piercings until they are old enough to do it themselves..

Personally I wouldn't pierce a 3 yr olds ears, no matter how hard she cried.
I would, however, by her a crap load of clip ons

What a load of crock!
Your decision is your own damn decision - the 12 yr old stating it's not fair and the 3yr old wanting the same, you knew this would happen you have 2 girls it's normal, wait until the 12 yr old is 16 and the 3 yr old 7 and wanting to wear lo cut tops and mini skirts.
What are you going to do then?
My daughter was peirced at the age of 4 when she asked me, I was too scared to get her peirced as a baby (which is more than common). I was peirced at age 2 and I have seen tiny babies peirced.
Never once have i heard of a child's ear lobe tearing?
Of course once the skin is broken you're at risk of infection - just like when a child falls off the monkey bars, or gets pushed over, or even bitten by a moquito... plus any of the other things that happen to most kids.
Your children your choice, who cares what anyone else thinks.

Now this is an interesting concept, thank goodness you got it done before that magic 9 month cut off mark
Sorry but I must get your GP'S name---to remind me not to ever consult with him.

But Precious Olive----she asked our opinion so clearly she does care what others think.

/

I don't care how well the parent is informed TBH-----I do not understand what it is about a newborn baby that needs embellishing with metal posts through those tiny perfect earlobes.
If you ask me there should be no piercing the ears of newborns, right through up until the child is old enough to actually ask for them , pay for them with their pocket money, care for them and are able to take them out and put them back in again. All of this despite you being a PROFESSIONAL PIERCER.

Yes this is a personal decision, but should be the personal decision of someone mature enough to make it. A 3 year old cannot make an informed decision about whether to peramanently alter part of her body, much less a newborn.

Would all of you who are parents let their sons get a piercing? Or either sex get a nose ring? Even if they really really wanted it?

It's also got everything to do with the sexualisation of children (particularly little girls). Earrings and jewellery (and decisions to mutilate yourself) are for grown ups. Women (rightly or wrongly) try to make themselves look more attractive and teenage girls will want to start experimenting with this too as they approach sexual maturity. For 4 year olds there is something just off about it. Like slightly creepy looking "not-child" Suri Cruise in her high heels. So I think 12 is the bare minimum for age and that its irresponsible for parents to do this to their children any earlier.

Piercing is the thin end of the wedge. The thick end of which is scary Jon-Benet Ramsay style stuff. All make up, big hair, glitter and the joy of being a kid and not needing to worry about your appearance sucked right out of your childhood.

Oh and I've heard of plenty of torn earlobes - as a girl when I did gymnastics and on the sports field. The only reason you see it less these days is because ears get taped up or earrings taken out if coach/ umpire/ child care worker is good at their job.

Yes, there should be a law against it.

Hey why not.... and in 4 years time when the 12 year old is 16 and wants a tattoo will you be letting the (now) 7 year old ?

You are the parent, just say no. End of story.

Sticking bits of metal into your child is barbaric.

A "Battle" ? Seriously ? The answer is No. No argument, no battle, no debate.... just a simple no and thats all she wrote.

Yay ! Well put ! Hear Hear.

I am absolutely mindboggled the amount of "parents" who dont understand that.

The child is 3 ! There is no argument/debate. Parent says no and thats the end of it.

Period, full stop, end of the story and thats all she wrote.

LOL, cheers to you... could not agree more !

If I had a 3 year old daughter who wanted her ears pierced, my answer would be a clear and firm *no*. Little girls don't need their ears pierced, it's pointless and looks tacky.

I wouldn't let my daughter get her ears done till she was at least 10. I asked to get my ears pierced when I was 10 and my dad was fine with that.

As for little boys getting it done def another big no, one earring in a boys ear looks even tackier.

Your youngest daughter should wait just like the older had to, why are you changing your parenting styles because your youngest child has thrown a tantrum? you will be rewarding her if you carry this through.

It is a personal decision... but I don't feel it should be a parents "personal decision" but the child, when they are old enough to give informed concent. While only minor, it is still body modification. IMO

You don't know what your child's personal preferences will be until they are older. Sure it's only a small hole but I can go for years without earrings and the holes never close and will be there forever.

As I child I liked and wanted many things that are no longer to my taste. Luckily most of them weren't permanent.

Seriously, why would you want to put holes in the ears of a baby or toddler. The only reason I can think of is vanity on the parents part (usually mother). Aren't your girls pretty enough without having their skin pierced. For goodness sake, let vanity come to them when they are older. If you want, put a pretty hairband or dress on them but leave their body as it is - perfect. There is no medical reason for it. Not one of the pro earpiercers has given a good reason to do it except for "personal choice". Personal choice is not a reason !

If you allow your 3 year old to attain something by tantruming where does it stop?

Also shouldn't your 12 year old have some things that are unique to her age and stage in life? What happens when she reaches the age where she's allowed to go out with boys or get a driver's license and the 3 year thinks it unfair that she's left out?

There will be plenty of things that your older child will be able to do that the younger one won't during the course of their growing up.

What a lovely idea

There is a big difference between 3 & 12!

And trying to offer them equal/fairness is never going to work. You'll just run around in cricles and get no where fast. And the kids will take advantage.

As for piercing a 3year old, IMHO it's the height of tackiness. Children are beautiful and innocent at that age and do not need to have a piece of gold permanently stuck through their ears to make them feel pretty. They are worth so much more than that!

Love the idea of the fake jewellery, good compromise.

Piercing is OK but I think it should be left until teenage years.

My DS ex partner wanted to have 19 mnth old grandsons ears pierced, We objected and compromised with a rats tail haircut. Fingers crossed it doesn't happen in the future. Does anyone know if both parents permission is required?

Nothing against boys having piercings, but don't think toddlers should have them.

Don't give in to DD 3YO tantrums.

As I said before ... clip ons!
crap loads available on ebay
http://shop.ebay.com.au/?_from=R40&_tr...-All-Categories

Hi all,
There's been so much said here about ear piercing at a young age as being tacky, 'bogan' like, ruinous to childhood beauty, sexualising and even a sign of parental vanity.

What I find amazing is that no one has commented on how different cultures may perceive ear piercing. My family is Italian-Australian, and like many, many Italians my family have all pierced the ears of our daughters at a young age. We do not do this to sexualise or taint the natural beauty of our children, but do so as part of a cherished cultural practice. As an Australian-Italian, I have found the opposition (and anger) to my intuitive desire to pierce my daughter's ears as alternatively baffling and hurtful (some people even likening it to female circumcision). My daughter is 15 months old now, and I have not had her ears pierced as yet (I am not quite ready after so many vaccination appts). What I do have though, are a beautiful pair of gold sleepers that my grandmother has bought for my daughter, as a sign of our family's love for my daughter, and my grandmother's love for me. And I intend to use them.

So yes, whilst some people might choose to call my darling a 'bogan' (and for me growing up in the 80s, bogan just meant 'wog' in my playground), maybe we should try to better understand each others' experiences, points of view and perceptions of beauty. I love my earrings, given to me by a family doctor, whilst in the arms of my mother and godmother, and now when I look back at photos of myself and my sister as babies and young children, I see beautiful Australian-Italians, whose child-like innocence and beauty has been by no means besmirched. 29 years later, my beautiful ears are still pierced and going strong. [/i]

I am first generation Aussie - mum Italian, Dad German.
Whilst it may very well be part of the Italian culture, only around 1/2 of my cousins (92 second cousins in Oz) have pierced their daughters ears at an early age. My mother didn't have her ears pierced until after I had mine done at 13 (she was 46).

As for the much cherished "tradition" ... it stemmed from being able to identify whether baby was a male or a female at first glance. Nowdays, most people just do it because it is the 'norm' in their family, not really understanding what the real "tradition" part of it was. It has moved to "familial tradition".

But then again, maybe it is just my family ... we have a long 'tradition' of not doing things just because someone else is.

It's OK you know to simply say "no" to a 3 year old...you are the parent! Bogan darling, means low-class, trashy and simply bad taste. I think little girls with pierced ears look like bogans...yes, simple as that.

There is no way id be allowing my 3 yo DD to have her ears pierced no matter how many tantrums she threw. IMO earrings on you children looks tacky.

I will be waiting til my girls are older enough to make their own decision if they want holes in their ears...no way a 3 yo could really know what 'piercings' are. Go the fake clip ons for a while!

FWIW i was 5 when i had mine done and i had endless amount of problems. Id be happy if my girls waited til 16 or so before they wanted (if they wanted) to get them done.