http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/...x-1225813146320

Oh purlease, you just forget there is a child strapped in the seat.

Its stupid.

I have been looking over my shoulder for the last few days making sure my children arent in the back as I leave the car.
Even though I know they are not in the car.

I believe her, I am terrified of forgetting one of mine. Once when one of my boys was little I popped out to the supermarket and completely forgot he was with me, didn't remember till I got
back in the car and he made a noise! It was less than 10 minutes and it was night time so no danger of overheating, but I seriously completely forgot him and the thought of it terrifies me!!

Mine are never bloody quiet enough to forget!

Honestly, things like that story make me physically sick.

But Shell, that's why you check. Well it's why I check anyway. Even when I know I don't have the kids with me, I still check. Particularly in the early sleep deprived days.

I dont buy it at all. She had just dropped off her other 4 children before going to the shopping centre.


If she cant remember them all then she needs to stop having children.

'Stupid' is the kindest of the words I was thinking when I saw this on the news last night. You dont FORGET - your a mother, you think and you check and you just dont forget! you can forget the milk or the washing on the line when it rains but forgetting your child is in the car is just totally WRONG.

THe most likely reason (that we will never really know is) ' ohh he's asleep, and I dont want to wake him so I will just let him sleep as I will only be a few minutes' .

Maybe I would believe that story if the mother was distressed when she went in to find her son. But she casually put her many bags down and stood there.
If she genuinely forgot she would have ripped her son out of the mans arms to comfort him and give him water but she was to worried saying sorry to the people standing around because she was given a good serve by the guy that found him. She didn't even looked distressed or frantic herself.

She needs to be charged and I hope she is. Yes she is going to feel terrible about the whole incident I have no doubt but you just can not leave your child in a car and there needs to be tougher penalties to show that.

It is horrible what she did but I do believe you can forget you have a child in the car.

I watched the saddest episode on Oprah once where this guy forget he had his little baby girl in the car as usually the wife dropped her off at care. He went to work on auto pilot and at some stage through the day someone came running in to tell him his child was in the car and she had died. it was so sad and the guilt this guy felt was unbeleivable. It was ever since that episode I have always checked my carseats every single time I get out of the car.

But people do forget, children have died as a result; it's fine to say she shouldn't, damn rude to suggest it's because she has too many children and a good idea to suggest checking everytime even when you know you don't have them! Anyone who thinks they could never forget is more at risk of doing so than someone who is aware that even perfect mothers can make mistakes

I am aware people do forget. I just don't believe she forgot.

But if she 'did' forget that he was in the back it may very well be because she has so many children. I don't think it is rude for people to have suggested that. If you have more children then you can look after then it is a very good idea to not have any more children. Simple.

I don't know. If the Police believe her and they've heard her side then who am I to say otherwise?

I am finding it very difficult to believe someone can forget they have a child in the car. How is this possible?

It was stupid thing to do but I feel sorry for her if she is genuinely a good mother and did forget. I also saw the Oprah episode that a PP talked about. It can happen. No one is perfect. I doubt everyone in here tut tutting the lady are perfect parents and have never made any mistakes.

People who deliberately leave their child in the car to go play the pokies or go to the casino, now they should be hung out to dry.

I can't imagine ever 'forgetting' I had a child in the car.

Just to clarify, I am not suggesting for a minute that I am a perfect parent and have never made mistakes, but I am really having difficulty understanding how in that instance someone could simply forget their child is in the car with them.

I am just at the ELEVEN cases in two days ...

Hopefully children services will investigate. By the time they finish with her I dont think she will forget any of her kids.

I don't know if she forgot or not but people do forget. I have driven into work with a child I had forgotten to drop off because they had atypically fallen asleep. You don't have to be stupid to forget.

Perhaps it would be more appropriate to give her the benefit of the doubt because I am sure we have all made mistakes and while this one had potentially tragic consequences that doesn't mean she or anyone deserves what is being served out here! At least the child was saved.

I believe you can, I don't think that was the case here though. The mother was too damn calm.

I can't say ive ever forgotten that I have any of my children in the car with me.
The whole strappng them in the carseat is a big reminder plus you see the seat everytime you look in the rear view mirror.

I agree.

This was one my pregnancy nighmares I used to have. Completely irrational as like PW I don't have a chance in the world of forgetting they're in the back every bloody second.

Don't forget the 11 also included keys locked in cars which I have done. That was bloody awful. Crying hysterically (me not my baby) waiting for someone to come and let my poor little fella out. Fortunately, I could not have done it in any better circumstances. Late in the afternoon, under a tree outside a doctors surgery.

Shell you should probably have a roll to call if you go anywhere.

I saw the episoide of Oprah too, when I was pregnant and it really made me careful when my routine was different than normal. For example when it was raining and I decided to drive to uni rather than catch the train. That story really made me stop and think about how many things I have done on autopiolet.

How many times I have driven home and realised I don't remember if the last three lights were green (they must have been surely?).

Mix being in a rush, out of routine (no school for the older ones), thinking of 20 things at once ????

I don't know??? I would never say never. I would like to think it wouldn't happen to me.

Maybe her reaction to the whole thing may have be shock. I'm not sure. I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt until more comes out.

I'm just glad she has all her children a live for Christmas, a few more minutes and it may have been a different story.

You've just put into words what's been bothering me.

If I accidentally left my child in the car and was faced with people breaking in to save him, and seeing him hysterical, I'd be a blithering mess .

This. Where did she think the child was? At work with dad? Off with the other 4 kids? Home by himself?

Doesnt make much sense to me.

I think forgetting is possible.

I know I've experienced it the other way where I have left my kid/s with someone (whether be with a friend, DH or childcare), only to completely freak out for a minute because I've been going about my business with my head in the clouds and then become concious that I'm missing a kid, and momentarily forgetting what I've done with them .

I saw that Oprah episode, too, and it was heartwrenching. The Sydney mother's apparent calm reaction yesterday is what sent me over the top. Shock or not, I can't believe that any mother would appear so cavalier upon learning that her child had been trapped in a sweltering car. I'm trying to keep an open mind, but something just doesn't add up. I vote for fining her to the maximum and a heavy dose of public shaming so that she will never, ever make such a potentially life threatening mistake again & so that other parents can learn from her example.

I think you can forget but from all I have seen/read about this story it seems that she is trying to just find any excuse that may come close to acceptable. To be as calm as she was and not in an absolute panic just doesn't fit the "OMG I can't believe I forgot my child!" scenario.

Many of us have however done things we never thought we could or that were possible. I haven't ever forgotten any of mine in the car but I nearly forgot that I hadn't put Chase into the car. He was still asleep inside so I was trying to leave him asleep to the very last moment before grabbing him. I strapped Levi in his seat, grabbed my nappy bag and put it in the boot and starting driving out of the driveway and saw his curtains still closed so realised then. When they are rearward facing you can't see them. I see that as my biggest ever sleep deprivation moment and feel terrible that he would have been left home alone for the 10 minutes or so before I realised. I came very close to leaving Hunter at the MCHN when he was only a week old as I left him in the air-conditioner just inside their door whilst I turned on the car air-con and strapped in the other boys as I was parked right there. I was about to put it in reverse when I realised the capsule wasn't there . Never would I have thought I could have forgotten about them.

I just can't find a plausible reason why you would forget, particularly a child of that age - wouldn't you feel like you were missing something?

A child of that age would most like be in your arms or in a stroller - everyone goes through the whole rigmarole when shopping with a baby .... pusher - check, sippy cup - check, comfort items/toys - check.

Hate it when I'm right about these things!! I said this would be the excuse!!!

I agree that it is possible to forget some 'things' but not children! You would have to be in an awful hurry to do shopping to not think about/ check whether the kids are in the car..

I do agree that the mother appeared very calm & then even p*ssed off when she took the child into her arms.. Perhaps she was in shock..

Perhaps mental health or alcohol/ other drugs could be an issue?

As PP mentioned 'childrens services' dealing with her... Unless there have been other issues/ events Community Services will be unlikely to do anything other than perhaps refer to parenting classes or family support if needed.. Of course if other things have been happening they will investigate and make decisions based on their findings to determine whether the children are in fact at risk of harm & then take appropriate action..

Stats from previous posts indicate that this is a real issue that needs action..

Exactly! Every time i get out of my car its just so automatic to open the boot, get out the stroller and unfold it to put DD straight in.

Nope, I think it was just pure stupidity.

But if you often spent periods of time away from the child, it wouldn't be like this. Who's to say she doesn't work? Or is a SAHM who uses childcare?

In this case I do believe she is most probably lieing, but I think it's naive to say that 'forgetting' your child could never happen. People have replied in this thread that they have forgotten their children in certain situations.

I honestly think she is trying to cover herself and is lying,she was too calm when she went and got him,if that was me I would be sobbing and a mess and not so calm like she was,I think it is very suss and her friend is trying to cover herself as she knows that a lot of people are going to give her hell for this

I too think the woman in this case is lying to cover herself. I don't believe her 'forgetting' story one bit.

I check. Even when I 'know' that they aren't with me, I can't help myself.

I do understand though Shell, how it would have been hard when you're exhausted. It's not a judgement of you.

But I'm even more paranoid in the day. There are too many stories now of children who have died, for it to ever be far from my mind.

It wouldn't surprise me if all the parents who left their child in the car now use the "I forgot I had him/her in the car'

I think she's trying to cover her grossly negligent a*se.

I also think there is no excuse for 'forgetting' your child. People who get so drunk they 'forget' they should not be driving home have no excuse. People who 'forget' it is dangerous to talk on a mobile while driving have no excuse. People who forget their children because they are extremely tired, and IMO you would have to be very tired to do this, should not be driving in the first place - fatigue is an extremely dangerous thing on the road (many studies show it to be easily as dangerous as driving while over-the-limit). The tiredness is part of motherhood business is no excuse either, if you are very fatigued then for the love of Dog don't endanger others and yourself by driving around. Driving in a zombie state is a very, very real and serious risk.

Tiredness is hard to police, but it is still widely known to be bad news on the road, and again, you'd have to be very tired to forget your child. Being a moron in general (which seems to be the case with this 'forgetful' Sydney woman) is also hard to police unfortunately, hence the staggering regularity of these frightening cases.

I just saw the report on the news and there was audio of the poor child screaming. I got so upset that I started crying myself. The child was quite clearly extemely distressed and traumatised. What a BS excuse by that "mother" (and I use that term very loosely in her case).

I think it's rude .

I was far more likely to have forgotten a child in the car when I only had a couple of them because I used childcare more often so was used to driving a car with carseats but no children. And, yes, accidentally leaving a child in the car WAS one of my nightmares .

Different people respond differently to shock. If I had returned to my car to find I'd forgotten a child, who was being held by strangers and hysterical, I think I'd be so busy trying not to vomit and keep calm in front of my baby that I might appear "calm".

I have learned not to judge people on appearances since friends watched me on a bolting horse in an arena (I eventually tumbled off after he took the second fence) and said they didn't think I was serious about not being able to stop because I looked perfectly calm and happy...

I also have a child who smiles when he's in trouble. *I* know it's his way of not crying, but others don't...

Slightly different, but DH forgot to put DD in the car once. He drove the 3kms home thinking how nice & quiet it was in the car, rolled into the driveway & realised he'd left DD behind. He flew back up to the shops, didn't even bother to park the car properly, just jumped out & started running. Somebody seeing him pointed to the NRMA. Thank goodness somebody had seen him drive off without DD, dashed out & grabbed her & took her into the shop. The police just happened to drive by & were flagged down. They were already in the NRMA with DD when DH ran in.

To this day, he feels awful about the incident...I've never done anything like that myself, but knowing what happened, I can understand that sometimes parents forget. Thankfully in our case, we had a good outcome.

I also find her reaction when reunited with her son to say a lot more that her nonsense excuse.

I forgot my DD2 once and it was the worst moment of my life! DH had convinced me to take her with me even though she was asleep. I put her into her seat (rearward facing) and drove to a shopping centre about 25-30mins away from our house. She slept the whole way. I got out of the car and walked into the shopping centre, started walking around Big W and all of a sudden felt something was wrong. You should have seen me run. I have NEVER run so fast in all my ife. I was shaking and hysterical by the time I reached the car. It was a 21 degree day and DD2 hadn't even broke a sweat in the 15mins I was gone... but I felt like the worst mother in the world. I jumped straight in the car and drove home (which probably wasn't a good idea because I was so shaken up). As soon as I got home I burst into tears and told DH.

I wasn't tired, I wasn't flustered and I wasn't on drugs. However, I wasn't used to shopping with a newborn (my other kids didn't go in a stroller, I always put tthem in a trolley). It can happen to anyone.

My child was a baby and very quiet Not an 18 month old that was forward facing so I could see them when I looked in the rearview mirror. And like I said, I realised pretty quickly that something wasn't quite right.
I saw the Oprah episode a week or two later... and I burst into tears again!!! I will never leave my car without checking again!

I am not sure that this woman did forget. Like PP's have said, she was very calm. And surely the fact that they announced it over the PA would have triggered something off in her mind???

I agree, it is possible to forget their children. It happened to my Aunt & Uncle when my cousin was 2 days old. She was born on December 21, and they had to go out on the 23rd to finish the christmas shopping for their other (older) children.

They didn't even make it to the shop doors though, they realised when my uncle handed Aunty the car keys, she went to put them into her handbag, and noticed the dummy.




But this mother, I highly doubt she 'forgot' especially as the news is quoting a friend of hers saying 'she had just dropped the other 4 kids off, but didn't have the heart to leave the 18 month old too'

I agree with the pp who said that people thinking they could never forget are the ones most likely to forget.

Although I haven't seen the news report, I don't find anything 'funny' about a calm response from the mother. People react differently, and you never know how you will react in a situation. Lindy Chamberlain anyone? I also have an extremely emotion-less public face, and can see myself acting in the same way. If her story is true, she is obviously embarrassed, confused... if I thought my child was somewhere else and then saw him with a group of people, some shouting at me... who knows what my reaction would be?

what the hell kind of statement is that? so, because she has been sensitive to either leaving her 18month old, or maybe felt 5 was too much to lump on one person, she is a bad mother? your an egg.

that said, she obviously needs some intervention.

Um red door its the kind of statement that suggests the 'mother' saying she forgot is bullsh*t.

The difference with the Oprah show and this case is that the Oprah show dealt with a complete change in routine and who was in charge of the child. I do not believe that to be the case here. I have a sense she is lying. However, her lack of emotion when finding out about the situation could easily be explained by shock. I would be utterly shocked if that were me. Mind you I do believe I would have been so upset I would have cuddled and cried with my child. But some people do act differently. I am not defending her, but saying that is not indicative of guilt. Doesn't anyone remember Lindy Chamberlin? Be careful about basing judgements on how people react to events.