Went to DS's Pead surgeon on wednesday and took out 1 week old who sleept most of the way through the appointment and woke and had a bit of a cry near the end. The dr asked how old she was and when we said a week old said she should be at home, and that newborns belong at home.

I do and dont agree with him, agree that newborns should not be dragged everywhere to visit people but you still have to live your life so have to take them out at some time

WDYT should newborns stay at home for the first few weeks?

Life goes on, it doesn't stop just because a baby arrives. I carried on like normal after DS was born

What for?

I think newborns and mothers should at least have the option to be tucked up in bed, preferably with midwives/lactation consultants on tap for the first week, but beyond that, no.

As nice as it would be to stay at home for the first few weeks and just concentrate on nothing but the baby, we all still have lives to lead and most of us don't have that luxury.
DH went back to work the day after my last baby was born, so needless to say, I had no choice but to get on with it.

Um... no, I don't. We can't all just put our lives on hold. OK, maybe we can with a first child, but not with subsequent children. Plus newborns are (generally) soooo adaptable it's not funny. I found it much easier to cart a newborn around than a toddler. Good grief, my DS3 was carted to and from kindy twice a day from 3 days old, shopped, went to swimming lessons for DS1, T-ball etc, etc, from the minute I got home with him. Actually, I grocery shopped on the way home!

What an antiquated and ridiculous notion. What was her reasoning?

Depends on the culture you live in or were brought up in. There are some cultures in the world where mum and baby need to stay home and rest for the first 40 days and the extended family do everything for them in that time. Most people don't have that option.

There is something to be said about staying home and limiting contact with the outside world in a newborn from a disease point of view but that doesn't really apply once you have more than one child.

And like you said, life goes on. Those with older kids probably have school and kinder runs. Life doesn't stop and not everyone has the luxury of having someone do these things for them. I remember having my 3 day old at the supermarket on the way home from hospital because there was no food in the house!

I know a girl that was back at uni with her newborn 2 days after giving birth.

Within reason, I think you should do what is right for you and your family.

like u said u still need to live ur life!

a old woman approached me while i was waitting for DH outside woolies when DD2 was 5 days old he had to run in for a few things and i need to go to the chemist she asked how old DD was and i said 5 days she then said oh 5 weeks and i corrected her and said no 5 days she then went straight into my face and said get that baby home u should not be here! with everyone looking.
DH then came shortly after seening i was in tears asking if everything was ok. and i told him and he just said were doing what we want she is our daughter. i wont tell u what this old lady was doing while walking around the shops.(we later discovered while walking back to the car)

u cant wrap them in cotton wool.

My DD2 was 8 days old when my DS1 had major leg surgery and I had no choice but to take her everyday to the hospital. The nurses were amazed at how old she was but no one ever said that she should be at home. I agree life goes on.

With DS1 - I didnt leave the house to even go to the corner shop for a week (as I was still in a lot of pain after giving birth)

I left hospital the day after DS3 was born, and went straight to the shopping centre, did some groceries, went to medicare to file the paperwork there (the medicare staff were a little surprised I was there so early) and then went to centrelink to do the paperwork there.

I find the doctors comment weird, what exactly is the difference between a newborn baby and a 6 month old baby if you need to go out you need to go out.

Odd. Which option would the paed prefer... that your DS didn't attend his appt or that the week old baby be left home alone? I agree you don't want to be dragging a newborn all over town, but some things have to be done.

I was too scared to leave the house after having #1 for about 2 weeks. Everyone was telling me to get out and go shopping!

Was out and about the day after i got out of hospital with #2 and all i got was people commenting on how cute my newborn was.

NEVER had anyone tell me that i needed to be at home.

I think that is a really odd comment from the doc.

I am another who groccery shopped on the way home from hospital.
Molly just cuddled up to DH and I popped up and down the ailses getting things for dinner that night!

She was born on Friday and I was doing the kinder run with with both the girls on the Tuesday.

With Shauna I became a bit of a hermit for the first couple of weeks, I think this did me more harm than good, my whole life became to alternative reality and I think if I was encouraged to go for a shopping trip or something I would have felt more normal and not so freaked out.

What an idiot!

Seriously some people do my head in! You were at a paediatric surgeon, not at the tennis! And if you had of called up to cancel, saying you have a newborn, they would of reminded you how important your DS's appointment was blah blah blah!

If/when we have #3, they will be staying on the kids ward when DS1 or DS2 are in, there is no other option. Not everyone has a DH who can take time off work at the drop of a hat. I'll be BF'ing, and have at least 2 of my children needing me.

I think it's best to stay home for as long as possible in those very early days. 4 weeks would be great but seriously unrealistic for most.

I intend to get out & walk baby in the pram from as early as I can. That is though, around my neighbourhood. No way I'll be going near large shoppng centres or on public transport in the first few weeks. Both things I try & avoid at all costs anyway!

ETA - Seriously bizarre attitude of your Paed though.

The reason most doctor's recommend babies stay home in the first 4 weeks is they haven't had any immunisations yet and are more susceptible to illness. There are also less treatment options when they are so small; I can't remember if they can even have Panadol before 4 weeks.

That said, this is an ideal and people still have lives to live, errands to run and other children to look after.

I've just had two very sick children with gastro and a few weeks ago a really bad flu, i wouldn't want to expose my newborn to anything i didn't have to. They need to build up immunity first. I know life has to go on but i would do all i could to keep my baby at home for the first few weeks if i could.

We probably spent the first 5 days in hospital or at home. After that I tried to keep DD away from large groups and didn't let small children at DS' daycare touch her. There are some major whooping cough epidemics around at the moment not to mention swine flu, so I don't think it hurts to be a little cautious until they've had their immunisations.

When our son was born, we were advised to get out and about as soon as possible - the earlier you do it, the easier it becomes.

Mind you, our little man was almost 4 weeks old when we left the hospital, but my dh brought the pram in and we did walk him down to the little corner coffee shop sometimes - just to have some time away from hospital.



You know, with the hormonal changes you'd have been experiencing, you had the perfect excuse to snap back at her with "get stuffed, its none of your business!"

I like the idea of staying at home bonding with baby and having extended family helping, but the reality is that our society generally isolates women, meaning we don't have that extended support.

You should have taken the opportunity to ask the paed if he did home visits.

It is funny the pead was a male and my DH who was at the appointment with me agreed with him, so maybe it is a male thing?

Well then your husband is an idiot as well! If he was so concerned about the baby being out when "it really should be at home" what the hell stopped him from taking DS to the paed. on his own so that you baby & her milkbar could chill at home. Bet that would have suited you better anyway.

Not to mention a couple of measles outbreaks as well. One of which is in my area.

I had a woman do this when I was out with DD who was 6 days at the time. I had gone to go to Medicare to make sure all the paper work was put in correctly. The lady approached me and was looking at DD and when I said she was 6 days old the lady told me I should be in bed and not out and about and in her day she would have been in bed for weeks and not allowed to do anything. Once she walked off DH and I had a chuckle about it as to us it showed the differences in what is accepted.

How bizarre, what s stupid thing to say.
Only is one child families are we blessed with the ability to confine ourselves to our home when we have a newborn.
Our culture tends not to see a home full of extended family who assist in all other facets of housework or childminding so we can give all our time to our new baby-----Perhaps the paed comes from a culture which sees mum and bub unable to leave the house for 40 + days?

When I had #5 on my first day at home we had the 5 year old to kinder, the 4 year old to kinder (a different one) the 3 year old to 3 year old playgroup which I had to sat at with her and the 1 year old just following us around
They were healthy, happy and sociable and still are.
OP you are not doing the wrong thing. We are blessed with a pretty healthy environment for our children, we do not need to become prisoners in our own home UNLESS that is the way you prefer it to be.

Oh god no - there is no way that I would want to sit around at home all day for the first couple of weeks and I really don't think for me at least that its a good idea. I find that If I'm at home all day just dealing with the baby(s) I really do start to lose all perspective on life and things start seeming a lot harder to deal with..

And as for the idea of keeping them away from germs - meh I never did get this - but then I have generally healthy children so I probably just don't understand.

So as far as I can see - if you want to sit around at home go fot it - but for me - I'll be out there with the baby getting on with my life.

It is just not reasonable to do so. Our babies have some unbuilt immunity from their mums and I am sure that most mums would not allow their newborn to be passed around amongst a group of strangers. Being sensible is all that is needed and I believe that being tucked up safely in their pram or sling is a far healthier option that isolating ourselves at home and feeling alone, unsupported and depressed.
Life must go on---

Remember its the paediatricians who see the little babies in hospital with infections acquired in those first few weeks - some of them get really sick. Sure there is some immunity from breastfeeding etc but not that much and not for infections acquired when out and about.

As a mother of 3 I agree life can't stop - but there is a very real risk of infection for little babies and I try to avoid public places (eg busy shopping centres, groups of kids) as much as possible. It is not worth risking my baby's life.

I personally think that the paed was coming from an infection angle.

Sue

I would have gone stir crazy!

Getting out and about with both children saved my sanity and staved off the 4 day blues IMO. It was wonderful to get out in the open and catch up with friends and family and show off my little bundle .

When DD was only a week old, my brother had his backyard done by "Ground Force". I took her along to the shooting of the show and there were loads of people around. However, I'm a babywearer and have had both kids against my chest so was never concerned about people touching wither of them without my consent.

Remember its the paediatricians who see the little babies in hospital with infections acquired in those first few weeks - some of them get really sick.
The OP saw a pead surgeon, who would actually treat very different cases to a Pead.

OP, I bet he doesn't have kids yet . When one of Den's Dr's became a father he actually apologized to us ,because he said he now realised how different reality is to what they learn doing their training.

As we all know life goes on for the other children and the new baby has to follow along.

Hope that the Dr's appt went well otherwise.

Mqargaret

No. I don't agree. A newborn should be with their parents, as long as they are fed and can sleep somewhere safe I don't see the problem.

Maybe you should have asked why he thought that? My guess would be because of immunity, it probably isnt best to expose them to who knows what and in a way i completely agree with the DR. Although i do see that life cannot stop, but to me its a very valid point and wouldnt see that it has anything to do with the baby sleeping etc.

It is situations like this where babywearing really comes into its own. I would not hesitate to take my tiny newborns out and about if I needed to, however I would have them wrapped up and safe and sound on my chest

I felt terrible pushing my newborn around in a pram and being so far away from them, I am so glad I discovered babywearing.

I am sorry that the paed made you feel bad, really at the end of the day it is your decision, and I hope your DS is ok.

Lisa

I would prefer to stay at home for at least 2 weeks, but life goes on. Sometimes there is no one around who can pop down to the shops and buy that cartoon on milk for you/pick the children up from school and so on.

If you have to go out, You have to go out

I would go out of my mind if I stayed home more than a couple of days. I couldn't think of anything worse than being stuck at home, isolated.

With DS#1 we were out and about fairly early on....
DS#2 he was just over 24hrs old when we went home, I went to medicare and the supermarket on the way, he was in a sling the whole time/
DD we stopped at MILs on the way hm from hosp and I was at cricket and doing the childcare run within a week.

I found staying cooped up at home was not good for me mentally...and if mentally I'm affected that will affect my kids....they are all happy healthy kids, so going out early did them no harm

I do stay home, but I understand I am lucky to be able to do that. I will probably start to venture out about 2 weeks after birth, but only for little short, duck in and out trips to shop. I had to drive my kids to school after baby number 5 was born, but luckily he was born in holidays so he was 4 weeks old by the time school went back.

I have a friend who's culture does not permit her to leave the house for 2 months after baby.

I don't think badly of people who take their children out when young, but I do wince at an unwrapped, uncovered newborn. I just want to swaddle them. To me they are so fresh and sensitive, to noise and light ect, it hurts to see them thrown out into the world so early. Its our culture now I guess...faster, quicker, more, sooner...

I completely agree, and with my first child I was so anxious every time I put him in the pram. After him, all my babies were in slings, with head covered lightly...hmmm, makes me clucky just thinking about it.

Firstly - CONGRATS BELINDA!!!!

Maybe I am a bad parent. The day that DD came home from hospital (at 5 days old), we went to the local shopping centre and then a street Christmas party at night. We went to the beach for a walk the next day. No one ever commented - even though I did have a creepy old man try to snuggle up to me when I was breast feeding DD.

Life goes on. After being on bedrest for 12 weeks and hospital for 5 days I needed to get out. I found it much easier taking a newborn out - than the 2 year old that she is now.

I was fortunate to have very straightforward, easy births.

With #1 I stayed in the hospital for 3 days. But when she was 6 days I went shopping.
At 4 months she started coming to highschool with me and would sleep in the pram while I was in class (yes seriously)

#2 We needed groceries BAD and my DP at the time was friggen hopeless so at not quite 2 days old we were out shopping. Poor kid didn't have a name for the first 10 days of his life lol, so people were asking "Oh what's his name?" and I was like "errr, I dunno yet". LOL

#3 I had a very loving, caring DP so he did all the shopping and preparations (with the other 2 kids I might add) before I got home. I spent 2 weeks at home in my PJs and got more rest than I felt I needed.
I didn't cook a single meal or make a single bottle in that time as he did it all.


I don't think it's necessary to keep them home. Babies are supposed to fit into your lives, not the other way around.

I think most people can put their lives on hold for a couple of weeks, so ideally yes I do think you should stay mostly at home with a newborn - this is both for the mother and baby's sake.

A maid, butler, chef and masseur are also a requirement

When he was 3 days old, DS2 went to DS's kindy as his show and tell!

What do you do if you have more than one child?? Life doesnt stop for your other children!!!

Sounds like a d*ck h**d Dr fresh out of the 60's who has no idea that mums have appointments to go to.

A more appropriate response would have been 'wow good on you for getting out of the house with a new born.'

Or perhaps maybe he has a point and he can point to the services which are available to allow that to happen if family is not around 7 days a week? Chef's, cleaners, baby sitters for all new mothers.

:-)

I think it's nice to be able to let a baby settle into the world gently and quietly for the first couple of weeks, but not always possible . I was SO grateful to the other mother who collected my children for three weeks after #4 was born so I didn't need to do the school drop-offs and pick-ups because it gave us a chance to recover from the birth and spend some quiet time with each other.

I'd have been asking the paed surgeon for a home visit .

I would have gone nuts! We went for a walk to the shops two days after DS was born and went and bought a clothes dryer 3 days after DD was born. So long as they are appropriately dressed for the weather and not exposed to excessive noise who cares!?
The idea of staying in the house for weeks fills me with dread. Even one day where I don't get over the front door is usually not a good day.

With both of mine I don't think I stepped out of the front door for the first month. I just hibernated at home. If people wanted to see the baby they came to me.

I'm always kind of gobsmacked at those who just carry on as normal only a day or two after giving birth! I spent the first month living in my PJs!

Of course, mine were close together in age, I was a SAHM, we had no preschool or school runs or anything like that to sort out, plus DH had 2 weeks off work and did all the cooking and cleaning and stuff, plus my mum helped too.

I imagine if I had another baby now I would have no choice but to be out and about within a week or two.

I have a serbian friend who recently had a baby, she wasn't allowed put for 40 days & was sending us texts & FB messages about how insane she was going.

No, they can't, but I would imagine that common sense would prevail here. If you know there is an outbreak of something, then you would be extra careful about where you go and who you see. Mind you, if other family members are coming down with something, then chances are the baby will too. Even bf doesn't protect from everything (how many posts before someone disputes that? )

The Dr has 2 children, he has an accent (not sure european or south african??) so maybe that is a cultural thing for him?

I dont think the dr or my DH is an idiot for thinking this way and can see that they probably just have the well being of mum and bubs in mind.