Exactly! This is what I did, now others will know my secret.

I tried breast feeding when my son was born but it was too painful, also tried the pump but that was just as bad so I ended up bottle feeding and for all those who say breast milk helps a kids IQ, well, my son is reading at a level 30, and he is doing grade 3 maths in grade 2 and he got 2 A's and 4 B's in his report card.

I think its a great idea to use a pump if you're weird-ed out by the thought of having a baby sucking on your nipple, I guess if breast milk came out of your finger you'd be ok with that, but I can understand your feelings. Because the breast in our society is hidden away and only comes out during sex and is used in foreplay, its understandable that you feel weird about a baby sucking on your breast. I find now that my son seems to be more than a little interested in my breasts, when he hugs me, he tries to put his face in or around my cleavage and breasts (he's 8) so its a little weird and he doesn't understand why I get funny about it, and unfortunately, the breast isn't the same like any other body part, I don't care if he touched my feet or elbow but I feel weird if he puts his hands or head anywhere near my breast. Maybe he'll be a breast man when he's older LOL

really its not about convincing you whether to breastfeed or not-its about changing your physical reaction to the idea of doing it. To be honest I have the same physical reaction to giving birth in a hospital so I researched for a hospital that didn't churn up that reaction. At the hospital I also had alot of support from midwives & lactation expert so you can find those & ask all the questions you like no matter how stupid or repetitive before & after the event. its not easy, i also asked the lactation expert to write me a step by step easy guide so each feeding was comfortable for me as well as baby- cos you have all this information & no brain left PLUS you have just given birth!!! so then you go into the whole feeding experience with the attitude that if i can do it i will, if not no biggie.

Women should stop putting so much pressure on other women- we already have trials in life so why add to it especially to a new mum! You will be the one at the end of the day caring for your baby.

I have only just stopped breastfeeding when my baby turned 7 months due to medical reasons on my part so it can be a real challenge along the way so you make the best decision for yourself.

I must also admit I didnt find it a huge bonding experience as sometimes u just feel like a damn cow so on top of all the adjustments to having the responsibility of a baby it can totally drain you physically & emotionally depending on how the baby feeds & how often. But every person has a different breastfeeding story so good luck in writing your story with your new baby & whatever you decide, all the best! No-one can even begin to tell you how much this changes your life so enjoy the ride!!!

I was the same as you, the idea of breastfeeding was not appealing. The irritation of constant sucking on a sensitive area, no thanks! But then my son was born premature and it was advised that for his best health that I breastfeed. First I had to express by hand, then by electric pump (ouch!) when I finally got to breastfeed him (6 weeks later) it was such a relief both physically and emotionally. I loved it! It didn't hurt at all and it was a fantastic way to bond with my baby. I never thought I'd be a breastfeeder but I gave it a go and it was well worth it. But having said that I don't think you should pressure yourself to do it. Give it a go and if it doesn't feel right or you just can't get the hang of it after a while then don't put yourself under all of that extra stress. Feeding your baby should be relaxing and a quiet moment you can share. If your hating it and feeling uncomfortable then don't do it. You have to choose what's right for you not the other 10000 mothers who are raving on about breast is best. And if you do decide to breastfeed invest in a breastfeeding cover ( I had a peekabubba) they were great for feeding in public while still keeping yourself covered.

I have an almost 3 yr old & an 11 week old, & the best advice I received/read was in Robyn Barker's "Baby Love" - that it takes time. It takes at least 6-8 weeks to really get the hang of it. In my own experience with both boys, it really did take a good 8 weeks even the second time around. And yes, in those first few weeks, it can hurt like hell, your nipples look like they've been through a cheese grater but if you can persevere through those weeks, it usually does get easier after that.
It can be painful, frustrating, & very tiring so be kind to yourself & be patient. Use any resources available to you if you need help. Good luck!

I had a different stumbling block when I was pregnant and it came to thinking of breastfeeding my baby. I was really dead set I was going to breastfeed because I firmly thought it was the right thing for myself and my daughter.

Unfortunately I had all the horror stories poured onto me from all angles. Noone in my family had successfully breastfed, or really tried to in all honesty. And everyone around me seemed convinced I would fail no matter what I tried.

I read/watched/listened to everything I could to try and prepare me as much as possible for a sucessful BFing relationship before DD even arrived.

Once she was here, I won't lie to you, I found attachment is something that takes a bit of learning. And in the early days the sensation can be a bit uncomfortable as both you and baby get used to things.

But I would say if you can make it to 4-6weeks you can make it as long as you and baby want.

Sorry I can't help more with the trepidation of the actual feeding process.

But I really wanted to reply to your topic if only to say BFing my daughter until self-weaning at 15months old was a relationship I really treasured. And once you get the hang of things BFing really is the most convenient, easy part in taking care of baby IMO.

Goodluck with whatever you decide!

Hi There,
I had an aversion to BF until i had my baby boy 6 months ago. I gave it a go and yes it is tough at times but so handy also. I initially hoped to bF for 6 weeks to give my baby all the immunity and positive things BF does but am now bf still at the 6 month birthday and will travel to the Northern hemisphere without formula and all the luggage that goes with it! No doubt you will have times you will wonder if you can continue but hey you have those days anyhow without sleep and hormone changes etc. Enjoy it if you can but don't be pressured by anyone. Do what feels right for you and your baby. All the best for the rest of your pregnancy and open your heart to parenthood!!
babytalk09

Hi Belinda,
I could tell you some horror stories too - cracked nipples and the use of nipple shields for 6 weeks and crying along with the baby....but you know what, it was so worth persevering. I would count breast feeding as one of if not the best thing I have ever done. Before I got pregnant a friend of mine found that she genuinely didn't have and appropriate supply (which apparently is quite rare) her baby was losing weight and she was very upset that she was having such difficulty. I couldn't understand it but tried to support her in my ignorance. When I fell pregnant I thought oh well i'll feed if I can and only for about 6 months. When it was suggested to me that my milk might not be enough for my baby I was shattered....the Dr was wrong of course and DS fed exclusively until he was nearly 1 year old (just wasn't interested in food - what can I say he's a boob man lol). I wouldn't have coped if he had not been breast fed - getting up through the night for a year to get him a bottle arrrrggghhhh sleep too precious!!! And come to that, there is nothing so nice as so curl up with your gorgeous little bundle attached to you and go back to sleep - ahhhhh heaven!!!!!

I guess when all is said and done its a personal thing but....give it a go and I mean really give it a go...maybe its not for you, but you owe it to yourself to find out because who knows you may just love it. Your body changes when you have a baby and so does the way you regard it. Breasts aren't just for fun anymore they're for nourishing your baby and it is a beautiful thing that can't be described or shared. Oh and given your predicament make an appointment to see the Lactation Consultant at your local hospital now and talk to her about the way you are thinking. These women are special, special people who have so much wisdom to share.

I hope you love it and that you have the best time with it.

Love and light,

Liz

Belinda,

OMG!! I am 13 & 1/2 weeks pregnant with my first and have been having the exact same feeling about breastfeeding as you. And like you, I don't have any objection to mother's breastfeeding or not, but the thought of it for me makes me cringe too!! It is soooo good to know there are other people "out there" who are going through the same thought processes as me!

I'm feeling increasing pressure from my Mum to breastfeed. She breastfed all of us 4 kids until we were 12+ months old. I am taking 4 months maternity leave. I'm thinking of breatfeeding for those first 3 months of babies life, but then when I go back to work and bubs is in daycare, i'll probably breastfeed in the morning and evening but use formula for during the day. It's so much easier for childcare staff to make formula than it is to store and heat breastmilk. I know the childcare staff would be more than happy for me to provide breast milk if I wanted to though.
I say all this because I'm hoping that sometime in the next 5 to 6 months I'll have a sudden change of heart and decide to breastfeed - although I have a sneaking suspicion that "change of heart" may come as late as seeing my baby for the first time.

However if that doesn't happen then there is really good formula on the market which is designed to provide baby with all the nutrients it needs to grow and develop, so don't be afraid to go down that route if that's what you decide to do. I'm only hoping I'll decide to breastfeed because my maternity leave is completely unpaid and we will be totally reliant on my husband's retail income, so if we can save the cost of formula in those first few months, that would be our preference.

My mum did give me this one piece of advice though. If I do decide to breastfeed, then to contact a breastfeeding organisation of some sort for advice on how to prepare your nipples for breastfeeding. Apparently breastfeeding on unprepared nipples is an extremely painful experience!!

Hi,

I gave birth to both my daughters ( 3 year old and 4 month old) in a birthing pool without drugs. Once they were born I lifted them out of the water stepped out of the pool, sat down and lay them on my chest. My babies sought my nipple and started to suckle straight away. They have both fed enthusiastically ever since.

There is a lot of research to show that a natural birth without drugs or interventions makes breastfeeding easier. This is due to the hormones released at birth (I was so ecstatic when both my daughters were born - there were points during the labour that weren't quite so ecstatic).

So knowing that breastfeeding has enormous health benefits - if you want to give it a chance do everything you can do have a good birth experience. Avoid inductions, drugs etc. Birth with a midwife - check out the statistics for caesareans and interventions of anyone involved in your birth. Only allow people into the room that you want to have there. Dim lighting etc. (World Health Organisation recommends a maximum caesarian rate of 10-15% don't allow health professionals or hospitals with rates higher than that).

Good luck and I hope that you breastfeed. It is really rewarding. And I am lazy - bottles would be such a hassle.

I found that once you have the baby some of your previous fears and attitudes completely change - mostly for the better. You may find that once you have the baby and within 10 minutes or so the baby naturally starts to try to suckle (and with both of mine didn't need any help with that first feed). I was completely amazed that this little baby knew what to do. It was the next few feeds that I found the nurses were more aggressive to get the baby to latch on and hurt me more than when I just tried with my baby myself (both babies and I figured it out together when we just relaxed). I had a couple of times of soreness but used limosoh cream and that helped. I found that it was a lovely bonding experience and was a great excuse to just sit and have a rest (and let everything else just have to wait). I fed my eldest son for 22 months (until he weaned himself) and am still feeding my 11 month old daughter. I love the fact that on some nights about once a month (so can never predict it) she wakes at 2am and just wants a little drink and I don't have to get up to make a bottle. It really is a personal decision and don't feel guilty if you try it and don't like it or don't even want to try it. But ... maybe once the baby is born you will have the desire to want to really have that time with your baby that no one else can ever experience. It is something special for just you and your baby. I love just sitting watching my daughter feeding as she just looks so content!!! Hope all goes well for you - whatever you decide!

Belinda, l felt much like you, the thought of getting my rather large breasts out in front of a single person other than my husband made me begin to stress - how embarrassing. Whilst l was pregnant with my first, l spouted the normal stuff... I will try to breastfeed if it doesn't work than thats life.. then l read the book "Birth"by Catherine Price which had a very matter of fact discussion on the topic... After reading the book l was even more worried about breastfeeding, l was under the misguided impression that breastfeeding was easy, completely natural and utterly instinctive, it was just a matter of whether or not l wanted to do it... after reading the book l realised that whilst it is natural, it doesn't always come naturally, both baby and mother need to learn how to do their part and how to do it together; I also learnt how wonderful it is, it allows you to pass antibodies on to your baby (both my boys would catch what ever was going around, but got over it so much faster than formula fed babies), it changes consistency depending on what your baby needs (for example, more watery in hot weather); and so much more... after reading the book l decided it was going to really really difficult, but l was going to do it - 6 months was my ultimate goal - I was determined.
This attitude worked for me, becauase as it turned out it wasn't nearly as difficult as l had thought... it did have its challenges, but l was determined... I listened to the lactation consultants at the hospital, and made sure to call them in whenever l was having difficulties - afterall that is what they are there for... I did m ake a mistake by not watching my attachment, so l did have sore nipples... I figured as long as he is drinking its fine... wrong... look after the attachment and you won't have the pain... so l gave my breast a 24 hour respite whilst they recovered a bit we fed bub's no.1 expressed milk... after that l was sure to watch my attachment and l didn't have any more problems...
I was always mindful of mastitis (and thankfully have never had it... although been close with my 2nd)... being mindful of my body l have predominantly used hot showers and soft massage to relieve myself of any lumps before they cause a problem - no biggie.
So what's so wonderful about breastfeeding? going back to the illness thing for a second --
* conjunctivitis - putting a little breastmilk on a cotton pad and my sons conjuctivitis dissppeared (so much quicker than when l was just using the recommended boiled water)
* hand, foot & mouth - (sounds like a cow disease - but low and behold children get it) - whilst my neice (who decided to share her infection) was sick for days on end, my son was sick for an afternoon, we spent the afternoon cuddled in bed, he was miserable and feverish, we fed on and off all afternoon, by the next day it was over
* colds - my sons share their colds with me (thanks) and l share my antibodies with them -- as such they aren't sick for long; but their immune system still gets stronger for having had the virus.

Lastly - whilst the first few months can be demanding and a bit exhausting - lets face it these babies feed a lot (my 2nd, who is weeks old has only just switched from feeding 2 hourly to 3 hourly), as they get older they feed less often and its special cuddle time - I can't tell you how many times l would sit feeding my son and just wonder at the miracle of him.
When l went back to work full time l decided to continue to feed my son in the morning and the evenings - it was wonderful - this was the one thing that only l could do for him and l cherished it. I fed my 1st son his morning feed (in bed) until 18 months when we started trying for our next baby - I hope to do the same for my 2nd (if he allows it)

In the end you have to do what is right for you - now l don't care where l feed, if my son is hungry l will feed him, with my first l was a lot more self conscious - either was is fine, whatever your decision is, its the right one for you.

breastfeeding on unprepared nipples -- Do contact the ABA, they are fantastic, and have breastfeeding classes (with mums to demonstrate) for expecting mums and dads.
On the topic of breastfeeding - you do not need to do anything to prepare your nipples - that is the advice of the ABA, I believe in days gone by that people used to use wire brushes etc. OUCH.
To be honest breastfeeding did sting a little with both my boys - but so would a wire brush... but it was usually an intense sting for the first 3 seconds and then it would go away completely, and then only for the first week or so; if it hurts any longer than that definitely check with your lactation consultant or your local ABA counsellor on the attachment, chances are your attachment is a bit off and easily fixable.
GOOD LUCK - and stay clear of wire brushes!

The best thing about breastfeeding is the comfort it gives my 2month old when she is distressed. its just amazing how fast she calms down, its true that boob fixes all! It also gives me comfort to know i can give her the things she needs most - food and comfort.
It was a bit uncomfortable when i first started, but only for the first 2weeks. I used a breast pump intermitantly during that time untill my nipples became used to their new job.
Remember it wont hurt as much as giving birth and i don't know anyone who wouldn't go through anything to give birth to a healty baby, so why not go through what ever it takes to give them what they need (at leats thats what i kept telling myself to get through the first few weeks, because i'm totaly body shy and hopeless when it comes to pain)

I am 31 weeks pregnant with my third child, breast fed the first two! and shall do the same with this baby, I guess i was one of the 'lucky ones' I did'nt really consider any other option and feel very strongly, that that should be the normal mindset, and only bottle feed after giving breast feeding a huge try, I struggled a little with fear the first time of the whole lot child birth, breastfeeding, handling baby especially during first bath, and wondering whether i was doing anything right! as they do not come with an instruction manual, despite all of the advice out there they are all different as are we. however i just got more confident and better as i went along.

I have since witnessed three people close to me decide/choose to bottlefeed during pregnancy before they even had bub, and did not even give breast feeding a chance, and have taken all the equipment to the hospital with them in readiness to do so. All of these people i love, but honestly these choices were all for purely selfish reasons, such as wanting to return to work so that we can keep living the lifestyle that we are accoustomed too, and wanting to sleep through the night, having the freedom to eat and drink what i want!!!! and more
I wanted to object but i just revel in the benefits feelings of the choices that i made.
However having said that, that right there is the problem its societal is it not, there should not be a 'choice' to have to agonise over in the first place! Bottlefeeding should be there purely as back up, a great substitute if it is needed for purely medical (physical or emotional) reasons.
I also think that the fact that you are agonising over the right choice for you is good and that you really do at least want to give it a try. Go For It you can do it.

All the best from me

Before I had my daughter, I knew I wanted to breastfeed - which I know is not the same thing as what you're going through, but there was still a fear there. What would it feel like? Would it hurt? What if my baby didn't take to it? Would I be a failure as a mother? And what would other people say if they saw me bottle-feeding?

I think my desire to 'give it a go' came from not being breastfed myself and somehow associating this with not being so close to my own mother (which I know, from my own research and talking to others, is not the case at all).

Breastfeeding is like no other feeling. You can't describe it to someone who has never done it. And everyone's experience with breastfeeding is different, so even if I could describe what it was like for me, it would be different for you (the same as with actual childbirth, I suppose). I remember watching the video in prebirthing classes about the baby who bobbed around and found the breast without assistance and somehow just knew what to do. I thought this was incredible. It's not like they do it from the inside - how could they possibly 'know' what to do? But when my daughter was born, she did the bobbing around thing and found my nipple and yes, she did take to it pretty easily with minimal assistance from me or the nurses. (After that, of course, I got a lot of conflicting advice from different nurses and I was actually glad to get home and be left to our own devices).

My daughter is now nearly ten months old and I still breastfeed her twice a day and plan to feed until she's one (unless she weans herself before that). It is a bonding thing and I enjoy the time together and that I'm the one causing her to grow and get the nutrients she needs.

I can't say whether you'd enjoy the experience or whether it's right for you. If it repulses you or makes you cringe, maybe it's not the thing. But I can tell you that it's not what you'd expect, so, if you do decide to give it a go, try to keep an open mind and take the experience on board. If it's not right for you, don't feel guilty - and don't let anyone else make you feel guilty. Like all other aspects regarding your own body, it's your body and you need to go with what's right for you. There is something in the 'motherly instinct' thing, so you'll know what to do. You may change your mind at the moment of birth and that's fine. Just go with it. It's a mother's prerogative to change her mind about all aspects of parenting.

Hi. I had a baby in Feb this year. All of my family have had trouble breastfeeding (mum, nan, aunty, cousins etc) and had to stop quite soon and felt pretty bad about it. I also had friends telling me it was extremely painful So I went into it thinking it probably wont work out for me - but I'll give it a try and see how I go.....

My son was born with a rare disorder and I wasnt able to feed him for the first 4 days, but I did a bit of expressing to keep the milk there. Once I started - Yes it was a bit painful at first getting used to it (mainly for the first 10seconds) but I could breathe through the initial pain and it was ok. I was lucky to have a great supply of milk, and other than a couple of weeks here and there of my baby excessively feeding, it all went pretty well. After 3 months I had to go back to work and had planned to move him to the bottle at 2mths. However, I tried him on the bottle - which he refused so I decided to continue feeding and expressed while I was in the office.
I got mastitis a couple of times being back at work, but was given some good help from ABA, and I got through it.
I can honestly say at about 4 mths - I was really enjoying breastfeeding him - it was quick and easy, saved me time because I didnt have to sterlise bottles and it was easy to do it anywhere. I ended up very slowly weaning him from 7-9mths, because he decided he wanted the bottle now and was losing interest in bf. His last feed was on his 9mth birthday and I was a little sad that I wouldnt be able to feed him anymore and see his little eyes smiling up at me.

I am so glad I gave it a go - breastfeeding him until 9mths of age was way more than I ever hoped for.

My only advise is to just try it and then make your own mind up about how you feel.

I was similarly hesitant about whether I would cope with the whole breastfeeding experience, despite knowing the benefits it could bring to my babies (twins!). 6 months on my experience has been exceptionally good - and from the horror stories I hear from everyone else very very lucky! I've had no dramas at all, and have 2 very well fed boys to show for it (although they do have some supplemental bottle feeds now to ensure the both get enough). My secret - RELAX! My approach was always to give it my best shot, but not to beat myself up about it if it didn't work out, and I think that made a big difference. I wish you all the best with the experience, and whatever the outcome, accept it and certainly don't let it spoil those precious early months with your newborn. Good luck!

you know forget it. breastfeeding is just so complicated. you leak all over the place, all the time! trust me. leaking milk from your boobs just dont make sense. you cant get drunk, and you cant have chilli, or cabbage. it just embaresses you while out shopping because your baby i s screaming for milk and your leaking coz your body responds to your baby cry...its being maternal. then again why did i breastfeed my 4 children for 1 1/2 yrs each? hmmm,,, good question.

i did it coz im lazy and bottles are too hard. i want to snuggle cozy and warm and love my little honey bunny nuzzling right into me, getting the best nutrition that i can offer. When swine flu came out i was so worried my newborn would get sick, we all did, my older 3 kids my husband and me. at the hospital the doctor said 50% of the people in emergency were swine flu patients, so if you havent got it you'll leave having it. He said i shouldnt bring my little one in coz she could die from that illness.
you know, she was so perfectly healthy and later we found out she had natural antibodies coz she was breastfed. not just that, they get antibodies for most illnesses from breastmilk. people are donating breastmilk and paying high prices for it coz its just so good for babies.
so you know..... its really a maternal thing.

Honestly, it was easy for me. And frankly, being able to get up in the middle of the night, and stick the baby straight on, rather than having to heat up milk and wake up properly, winner every time. I went back to work super early, and expressed a lot (until he was 6 months old), and so much easier, and cheaper, and more convenient breastfeeding than bottle. And other than the milk coming in which was a bit achey, I didn't have anything, at all. No mastitis, no cracked nipples, nothing (small bruise on the 2nd day, my fault for trying to feed in the dark when both of us had no idea what we were doing).

Hi Belinda, I had some rough spots in breastfeeding but was glad I perservered. In the end if was laziness that kept me breastfeeding until my son was 1. There was a bit of a learning curve to start with but after a little while it was easy, portable, on hand (especially fantastic in the middle of the night when you are half asleep), no measuring, steralizing, shopping....and you can eat a lot more because you burn through the calories! But you do what's right for you in the end...

To be honest Belinda - I don't care if you breastfeed or not!!!
I would personally never contemplate not feeding my baby the most natural and healthy way but if you don't want to then don't! I can't fatham why anyone wouldn't want to breastfeed with everything we know these days.
Would I think you stupid that you wouldn't do everything possible in this world to give your baby the best start in life? - YES. But do I care what you do? - NOPE.

Belinda, when I was pregnant with my first I couldn't imagine breastfeeding either. I couldn't image myself doing most of the tasks that parenting consists of. When I birthed my first baby she made her way up my body and latched on. Like a baby kangaroo. Amazing. The baby knew what she wanted. I fed that baby whilst travelling. I breastfed three babies, on demand, exclusively for the first six months - they all weaned themselves at about 11 months. None of them ever took a bottle.

I did join ABA - they are the closest you will get to a union for mothers!

While I was feeding, I couldn't imagine not feeding - I thought I'd be flashing my breasts in public for the rest of my life. When I stopped feeding, I couldn't imagine feeding again. I was amazed that I'd been lobbing my breasts out in public.

It was easier than I expected. Sure, you leak. Sure, you get engorged for a day or two when your milk comes in for your first baby. Yes, I got mastitis a few times with the second baby. All manageable.

You might surprise yourself. You might find that you just do it. And enjoy it.

You have to do what is best for you and your baby. I gave noah expressed milk for 6 weeks then went to formula. It was a really hard decision but Im so so glad I did it as I was not heading down a great path mentally.
People can be really mean and judgemental of it but really there are worse things in life then a child who is not breastfeed. He has a great life and a is very healthy and I know Im a great mum. He only eats the best fruits and vegies that I prepare and he has never had so much as a sniffle. I take a lot of care looking after him and he is surrounded by love and happiness. He is a wonderful little boy with or without the boob and I love him to bits.
Goodluck with your journey

DD1 - I hated it but pushed on for about 6-9 months on and off with lots of top ups towards the end occasionally would cry when she did cause I had to feed her - with DD2 wasnt even going to try but thought selfishly that it does help the baby bits go back to orginial size so thought I would do it for about 6 weeks. She was a dream, latched on like she was meant to and slept well wonderful experience. Fed her till she was over 1. Also $$ so much cheaper I honestly had to put formula on a credit card one week when she was about 18 months old cause we didnt have any money. Obviously at that age I could have done cows milk and was my choice to do it but I thought at the time how stressful financially it would have been to have to pay for it from birth when my body made it for free. Every baby is different even in your own family. It may suck this time or it may be great but it does make a difference you are protecting them in the first few weeks until they build up their own immune system. No one can convince you though - do what is right for you and your baby. If its something you will resent and hate that is no good for your baby. Happy mummy is very important.

Melinda

Breastfeeding is probably the reason your arms bend where they do.

I breastfed my son for 4months until my flow died off and I couldnt get it back, I would've really loved to breastfeed him until 12months but my body decided otherwise. I really missed the closeness of breastfeeding; the connection I had with him.
It is a feeling I cant really describe its just a little piece of heaven- a type of meditation I felt.
It had a calming affect on both of us.
When he was about 3months, I went back to work, I expressed into bottles and whilst I was at work my breasts would tingle all of a sudden, I would ring my partner or message him " bub is hungry" sure enough, he would be feeding or getting the bottle ready at the exact same time my breasts were tingling!

I have two kids, a four yr old and a four month old. With my first I had so much trouble breastfeeding and eventually gave up as she wouldnt stay on the boob and began to lose weight. It wasnt until she was one that I found out she was tongue tied which prevented her from latching on properly. No one had picked this up beforehand despite my efforts to get help so I could continue breastfeeding. So with my second child I was so worried what my breastfeeding experience was going to be like. I was so happy when she latched on straight after birth (I think this is great when they put the baby straight on the boob as you instantly bond with bub). However it hasnt been all fun - sore boobs, sore nipples, leaking boobs....but totally worth it! Not only is it a special time for us both but she gets special antibodies from the breastmilk - especially good as my four year old seems to bring home all sorts of bugs.

At the end of the day it is a personal choice and you need to do what is best for you. Most importantly dont let anyone pressure you into something you dont want to do.

Oh yes, this was certainly an issue in some countries, I believe that even in the USA surprisingly there was a move away from BF for this reason.
I think we all but skipped this move here in Australia, perhaps because we do not seem to place as much emphasis on class here and on average the difference between the 'have's and the have nots' is not as vast as in some countries.
I have to admit that if anything I saw the opposite to what what was happening elsewhere in that it was the better educated and often better off financially who were most aware of the benefits of BF and the young, often single, less educated girls were choosing formula
Back in the late 70's, 80's and even the 90's to some degree we were still giving 'formula demonstrations' and eduction with regards to sterilising. Seemingly, even though it was accepted that most mums went home happily breast feeding there was not the restraints placed on discussion and education of artificial feeding as there is now in 'Baby Friendly' hospitals.
Personally I am a little uncomfortable that we are not allowed to assist with AF as it is really naive thinking to believe that by not teaching AF and ONLY teaching BF that it will encourage those who are ambivalent about BF to feed
I am not sure that our hospitals being so zealous about these things is not discrimination?
Don't get me wrong, I am VERY PRO breast and I wish sometimes there was NO alternative but it won't happen , there will always be those who will AF and they need support too.

I don't feel strongly about the benefits of breastmilk vs formula, but I do have a massive fear (phobia?) of breastfeeding and I feel physically ill when I think about doing it. It's one of the main reasons why I'm hesitant to have children. Has anyone else felt this way before having kids, then managed to breastfeed successfully?

i guess i'm confused by your strong aversion to breastfeeding and yet your desire to be convinced to do it... It just wasn't an issue for me - i was going to feed my baby whichever way worked best for us. With my son this was almost exclusively formula and with my daughter it was almost exclusively breastmilk.

My experience was that they really were much of a muchness. i have lovely fuzzy memories of feeding both my children - my son guzzling happily from his bottle, his little fingers caressing the nipple and his eyes rolling back as he "blissed out" and my daughter, guzzling happily from my breast, her little fingers caressing my breast and then her eyes rolling back as she "blissed out". both kids slept through the night at 3 months (fatties, both of them), and both kids are healthy, no food allergies, athsma etc etc

just give breastfeeding a go and see what happens. remember, the person who will be doing the breastfeeding will have just gone through childbirth (which will dramatically lower your "oooooh icky" threshold believe me )

I know how you feel,
my atitude is in two zones.. logically i see it is a cheap safe and healthy option with no bottles to sterilise or midnight runs to get formulae or have one of those milk pumping machines attached... so I know logically breast feeding is the supierer choice...

but on the other side i find it ugly gross and an invasion. Will i resent my babys for having to breast feed? will find out when i have them.. i hear that everything changes when you give birth..

Dont need anyone to convince me of the benifits on breast milk just need to stop the icky gag factor that happens when i think of it..

Belinda, I don't know if you are still reading this blog, but I was just like you when I was pregnant with my first. I could not stand the thought of breastfeeding, and so was fully prepared with formula, bottles & steriliser at home before she was born. But as a health professional I knew the benefits and thought I owed it to my baby to give it a really good go before I threw in the towel. It wasn't easy to start with, but I think the fact that I was expecting to hate it actually helped. When your expectations are that low you can't be disappointed. But as they say, it does get easier and is so very convenient. I managed to feed all 4 of mine, but each time I had forgotten how bad it was at the beginning.
I was engorged and had mastitis.
But it is all worth it just for the convenience for me and benefit for them.
My youngest has just started to refuse to BF during the day at 9 months, so I am looking at alternative ways to supplement him. But the thought of weaning him horrifies me.
If someone had told me 10 years ago that I would be horrified my baby was not breastfeeding I would not have believed them! So there if hope for you yet.
Good Luck

The average person on the street might not be able to tell the difference but there are a large number of studies which demonstrate clear evidence that breast-feeding is better, and that any is better than none at all!

My advice is to find out as much as you can beforehand. Talk to your friends about their experiences, and get professional advice. I went to a breastfeeding class & found this to be very useful. Also when in hospital ask the midwives for help. In my experience most of them are very helpful. Give it a go, you might be surprised.

Good luck!

Ok, I haven't read the whole thread. If you know the benefits of breastfeeding and aren't convinced, I don't think anything I say will change that. As a PP suggested, maybe counselling?

Before DD was born I really wanted to breastfeed, but even though I was keen, the first month was really hard! I remember thinking, 'if it's always gonna feel like this, I can't go on'. I had inverted nipples that needed to be sucked out . After that, it was fine, and it was and is the wonderful bonding experience that I wanted it to be.

Ditto to everyone who has pointed out it's sooo much easier and cheaper than bottles. I'm another one of the lazy tightarses!

I had PND with both my children and breastfeeding helped me bond with them. It helped me stop feeling 'emotionally detached' from my children because I was the only one who could provide my children with such an important start to life.

Also, you don't need to wash and sterilise bottles. Breastfeeding is portable. You don't need to weigh down your nappy bag with endless bottles and formula containers.

Good luck with your decision!

There are so many replies that I'm not going to add another about how wonderful breastfeeding is (and to be honest I didn't read all of them, so maybe I am going to repeat something).

A few years ago a friend fell pregnant. She HATED it and really didn't want to be pregnant, didn't want to have a baby etc. She now has 5 kids. Once she had bub, everything was different, she fell madly in love and has never looked back. So the point I'm trying to make is don't worry about it. You are doing the right thing by doing all the research etc, but stop worrying about what will happen when bub is born. Give it a try and if you still hate it after a week or 2 (please don't stop in the first few days, they are never pleasant) then switch to expressing in a bottle for a while.

You might find that you absolutely love it though and you will never know if you don't try and you cannot possibly know until bub is out. I have seen the toughest, least motherly women turn to complete mush at the sight of their baby.

Here are a few points a friend told me many years ago about breastfeeding, they became my "mantra" and I never had any problems at all.
First. Breastfeeding doesn't hurt. If it hurts it's wrong (that was the mantra I would repeat for every latch).

The let down feeling in the first few days can hurt for a minute or so, but that eases once engorgement goes away. Sucking should never hurt. It just doesn't. If it is hurting then something is wrong, unlatch immediately (little finger in side of mouth and release suction). Try again and again and again.

Second. Use a good book with clear photos to check that bub is in exactly the right position and everytime you feed compare the photo with bub and make sure everything is in the right place.

Third. Bubs tummy to your tummy (bub needs to be in a straight line, he/she will not latch on correctly if he/she is turning his head to latch on) and keep your shoulders down, even just pretending to be relaxed will help the milk flow better than not.

Goodluck and don't worry about it, just enjoy your pregnancy, and stop worrying about something that may not even be.

I loathe breastfeeding. I have been doing it now for two months and every day I get through I think, "well done, you made it through another day". In this way I celebrate making this sacrifice for the good of my child every day. Good luck and make the decision based on what you want. Dont be pressued by the propoganda.

Wistful it gets easier. Something happens around 3 months and they stop feeding so much, become more efficient at it, whatever, it usually gets to the point of thoughtlessly easy after 4 months. Then it almost becomes enjoyable. Hang in there!