Hi Belinda,

Great question! And definitely one that is easier to ask via the anonymity of an online forum rather than at a BBQ. I’m sure that there will be plenty of EB members who will have some great suggestions but to kick it off I have asked Carey Wood, an Australian Breastfeeding Association counsellor as well as their national spokesperson, for some advice.

“Firstly, congratulations to Belinda for being courageous enough to say what a lot of women probably think,” says Carey. “It’s fabulous that she is thinking about this issue now and planning ahead to give her the best chance of breastfeeding success, if that is the way that she decides to go."

In relation to breastfeeding there are three main things which Carey believes can make a significant difference to your ease and success of breastfeeding:

“The first thing is to get a really good book on breastfeeding and read through it before you have your baby,” she says. “That will give you a great theoretical headstart.”

Secondly, as well as doing an antenatal class, think about attending a breastfeeding class where the focus is on breastfeeding techniques and management. (The ABA run a breastfeeding class – you can check out the details on their website).

“Thirdly, it’s important to tap into support groups, whether that be a group of people or an online community,” says Carey. “Having a support group with whom you can discuss any feeding issues as they arise can be an invaluable source of both comfort and practical help.”

“As an ABA Counsellor my role is to encourage Mums with their breastfeeding. I listen to and empathise with their issues, offer practical support and always respect the decision that they make with regards to breastfeeding decisions. If they decide not to continue with breastfeeding then I help them to wean.”

And Belinda - Carey advises that in terms of guilt, be comforted that all mothers do their best in relation to raising their babies. “There’s more to mothering and a relationship with a child than just how we feed it,” she says. “The most important thing is that a mother feels supported and valued. So irrespective of whether she decides to breastfeed or not she shouldn’t feel guilty – I’m sure that she will be a great Mum either way.”

EB Members: What is your advice for Belinda?

It doesn't cost anything and it is portable!

It is hard work, but worth it.

Use a breast pump, that way your partner can feed the baby as well, you don't have to pull your boob out in public, you know exactly how much food baby is getting, you and your partner can go out for dinner and have someone mind your child (when they're old enough to be cared for by someone else). All the benefits of breastfeeding without that feeling.

I did feel the same as you felt. None of my midwives talked to me about it though. My baby was sick and wasn't feeding so in the end BF wasn't the best choice for us.

If you really don't want to do it then don't. Its perfectly understandable to think that way. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I can't convince you to bf Belinda.
I would like your bub to get your wonderful milk as a first food as it is perfect in every way.
But how will that happen? I don't know.
The above response from the ABA counsellor is fine, general, and PC.
Getting informed on the "how to" of bf is a great start.
Even seeking out an Antenatal appointment with a Lactation Consultant, ? at the hospital where you will be giving birth.
This can start the process of learning and support and minimisation of the possible complications of bf difficulties, ie nipple damage.
BF can be thought to be icky, it is very asexual (for me anyway) and bf releases hormones in the mothers body which can bring calmness, good feelings. Yes, I know it can hurt like hell too, but usually only when something is wrong.
One thing a woman can do if she continues to feel bf is abhorrent (this does happen/no judgement, what ever will be will be!) then some women choose to express breast milk and give this to bub in a bottle, so bubs gets the breastmilk, and mum doesn't do something unpleasant for her.
The more you express, the more you will make.
You may express 8 times in 24 hours and get enough milk for bub to grow solely on breast milk. Or you may need to use some formula as well.
The mother is more in control and can do as she wishes, remembering that some breastmilk in the diet is better than none.
To express full-time I would consider a double electric pump (ie Medela Pump in Style or Ameda Purely Yours.
All the best.

Just letting you know my experience. First time round hated, hated, hated breastfeeding until the 12 week mark. In that time I had not been able to get the baby to attach properly, used a nipple shield, had mastitis twice and still at 12 weeks cracked and bloody nipples. Introduced a bottle of formula and away we went. Gave me a bit more freedom and allowed my nipples to heal. Until that time too hated the senstation of bubs sucking away. It just felt wrong. Perservered but probably for my sanity should have stopped earlier but actually grew to like it. Disliked feeding in public - pretty much didn't have any love of the whole concept until the three month mark.

Second time round LOVING it. We are at 4 months now and it is great. Am confident and love the fact it is so convenient and easy. I don't express as I don't want more milk - have more than enough - so am quite tied to the baby. First time round I resented this as I couldn't do much but life hasn't changed as much now with the new addition as it isn't as if I can leave them anywhere (don't have family here). Therefore the fact he is bound to me somewhat isn't as frustrating and hard to deal.

I guess a lot also comes down to the baby too and believe that it is something that does have to be learnt by many. I didn't have a clue what to do and my little one also didn't know so it took us sometime. I also like the fact I can comfort DS when I feed if he is upset as there isn't such a thing as too much breastmilk. Getting the little dreamy smiles when he is on my boob is also cute. I still don't flop them out for the world to see but am a lot more confident and will feed in public without hesitation whereas with my first I wouldn't want to go out in fear of having to feed in public. Don't go down that route as that creates a whole lot of other issues.

If you are struggling definately seek out help sooner rather than later. I waited way too long and got myself in such a tizz about it all.

Good luck with what you decide.

Try and think of it in this way - the baby has grown all along from conception till now by feeding from your body - and breast-feeding is a continuation of that. Hopefully, the idea is not as unpleasant as you first thought. And you are never alone in what you are thinking.

Give it a try. Perhaps treating it in a different light helps. As a shy person feels the anxiety of going to a party where they will know no-one but the host. Tell yourself you are going for only 15 mins to say "Hello". You can stay for half an hour if it goes alright. Then take it in 15 min intervals. But to think it is a whole night of talking to strangers or standing in a corner all alone becomes too daunting.

Try it for a day - then another and your confidence will grow. You never know, it might be a great bonding experience for you and the bubs. Maybe your partner can be a part of the process too by bringing the baby along.

And remember to laugh. Life is too serious already. You're never alone.

Great point!!

It is sad that anyone should actually have to convince anyone of the benefits of breastfeeding. There is plenty of info out there that that breastfed babies have less illness, a greater bond with the mother, a higher IQ just to name a few. Anyone who deliberately choses not to feed then I think is being selfish. If you have medical issues then it is obviously a different kettle of fish and thank goodness for formula but why is formula the norm and people need "convincing" to do something that is normal, natural and clearly in their child's best interests????

First step maybe would be a couple of counselling sessions to make sure there are no underlying issues to your aversion of breastfeeding your newborn baby.

If you can breastfeed you should because your child deserves the best that 'you' can give it, I take it you are eating well whilst pregnant? If you are then why are you eating so well? If you say you are eating well so that you can give your unborn baby the best nutrition possible then my question to you would be "why stop providing the best nutrition for your baby after he is born?" Breastmilk is made so that your babys' digestive system can mature, why wouldn't a parent want something as gentle as breastmilk introduced to their baby rather than a milk substance made from a cow?

Truthfully go the counselling to help you work through the aversion issue's and then you may be ok.

PP - it is that sort of attitude that stinks about breast feeding.

I had big problems feeding DS1 and was hospitalised at 23 weeks with DS2. I shared a room with a woman who was completly confortable with bottle feeding and did not attempt to breast feed. I wanted to applaud her for standing up for herself and her desire to bottle feed. We have become so much of a nanny state, with everyone telling everyone else what to do including feeding their babies. If people want to bottle feed, let them, it does not impact on how you live your life does it? Next we will be asking for seperate schools for BF children v's bottle fed - wouldn't want those bottle feeders to bring down the IQ of the BF children would we.

To OP, do what you feel is right. If BF is going to cause you unnecessary anxiety then bottle may be better. I can assure you that regarless of how you feed, your baby needs a mother who is happy and relaxed v's one who is in tears because she just does not want to feed. However, I did have a terrible experience BF DS1. When I was pregnant with DS2, DH said to me, you know that you will have to attempt to BF this one don't you. I was in tears, I really just wanted to go straight to the bottle. Anyway, went to some ABA classes did as much research as I could and set myself mini goals (1 week, fortnight, month, 3 months). Nine months later we are still feeding, I do supplements with one bottle of formula per day, but most BF. But honestly do what is right for you, not what is right by everyone else.

My child's best interest was to have a happy and healthy Mum looking after them. I deliberately chose not to breastfeed and I don't think that i'm 'sad', my child is very rarely ill, has a wonderful bond with both me AND my husband, and is a pretty smart cookie

A mother has a right to choose what is right for THEIR baby. If you feel that breastfeeding is best for you and YOUR child, then that's great. I don't think anyone should be 'convinced' to breastfeed, but informed about all options that are available (not just about feeding, but all aspects of parenting) so that they are able to make an educated decision about what is right for THEM.

Regarding the OP - Don't feel obliged to breastfeed if it isn't right for you, but ensure you research all of your options, ask questions, 'try' if you want to give it a go (rather than wish you had down the track), don't forget to ask for help, and above all - don't think yourself a failure if BF'ing isn't right for you.

Like you, I was a bit freaked out by all the horror stories of friends, but it's true that some people never suffer any of that! I breastfed my son for 13 months and never had mastitis, a cracked nipple or a latch problem. I'm also a small B cup normally, but had enough milk to feed a small village of babies - thus my boy was a happy sumo spewer.

And I lost all my baby weight (18 kilos of it) without trying!

I did join a breastfeeding group of mothers on a casual basis and found it invaluable to share stories and laugh. The breastfeeding experience changes as your baby grows.

The best advice I received was to be relaxed and really watch your baby. Whenever I felt at wits end I'd imagine all the women throughout history who somehow worked it out!

BTW I know I had a pretty smooth ride and I applaud those women who persist though really difficult experiences - but just letting you know it might be simpler than you're expecting!

Use a breast pump id you don't want baby on the boob ...
or at the risk of being unpopular (and getting flamed) try it, if you still don't want to do it, don't.

I'm pro-breastfeeding due to a number of reasons...I DO enjoy the bonding, the cuddles, and all the other benefits of breastfeeding.
But if I am being honest, I am just way too lazy and way too much of a tightarse to do bottles. I cannot justify paying for milk that I am already making a more superior version of. And I certainly can't be a*sed making bottles int he middle of the night.
ANyone who tells you that baby will sleep through the night on formula is full of sh*t, and will not be the ones making bottles for you at 2am when baby is screaming, when you could just as easily stick a boob in and calm the little critter in 20 seconds.

I guess for me what convinced me was that I always hear that you can't tell when people walk down the street whether they were breastfed or not, ergo it doesn't really matter.

However, I was a bottlefed baby and my sister was breastfed for 2 years. I have a shocking immune system and my sister's is bulletproof and NEVER gets sick. I know it is a tiny sample and could just be a coincidence but it made me want to give my kids a better immune system that one I have.

I read a lot of me, me, me in your post. What about whats best for the baby?

Yes I would agree with this. There are many reasons women can have an aversion to breastfeeding, it may be physical or it may be emotional and attached to past traumas which are triggered by thoughts/feelings of breastfeeding.

I did not feel comfortable feeding DD1 and only lasted at it for 2-3 months. I believe now it could have been linked to some childhood trauma and also linked to birth with interventions that also triggered some childhood stuff. Anyway with my 2nd pregnancy I was determined to breastfeed and read everything I could on it and called the ABA with any issues I had. I ended up feeding him for 14 months and was so happy with that effort. DD2 has been quite easy (except for some thrush I had for months but finally went when I gave up sugar for a little while), but other than that it has been a smooth run and I am still feeding at 14.5 months and this time I hope to continue until she self weans

(My motivation now is the high health benefits, the ease of it for things like comfort when baby is sick/in pain etc and the bonding experience that *I* personally receive from the breastfeeding relationship - oh yes, it being FREE is a huge bonus as well )

Oh love it Rye!!

Yep lazy here too which is why I don't express (and I admire people who do - especially exclusively)!!

No, I can't convince you.

I think if you need to be convinced, you probably won't be able to stick with it if you are one of the unlucky women that have a really hard go at the start.

I stuck it out for 8 weeks and then finally it came good. It is not easy for a lot of women, it could possibly be the hardest thing you ever do (it was for me!) but honestly, I wouldn't change a thing now and it is so easy, simple and the best for my daughter.

Give it a shot, you have nothing to lose. But if you need convincing, well, can't help you there.

I was really repulsed by the idea of breastfeeding. Never bothered me when others did it, but the idea of doing it myself? Yuck!

I tried it at the hospital initially because I felt obligated to. I really didn't expect to continue - I even had the can of formula and bottles waiting at home for when I quit. The first time I tried it, it felt a little weird, but it was interesting and kind of nice to see my baby looking for the nipple, nuzzling all over my breast. The first couple of times he only fed for a few minutes. I decided I'd give it a go for a week or two, and if I still couldn't cope with the idea, I'd stop.

I had a emergency c section, and felt pretty knocked around, and that actually encouraged me to persevere. When you are tbat sore and tired, the last thing you want to do is mess around with bottles and a microwave in the middle of the night. Initially, it was pretty painful with the cracked nipples. I got some lanolin cream and some nipple shields, used these until it healed, and then it didn't hurt at all. I found I was sore from the surgery for quite some time, so that convinced me to continue breastfeeding. It was just easier while I was recovering. Gradually I came to enjoy that quiet time in the middle of the night, just me and him. Once you get the hang of it, you just reach over and pick up the baby, put him on for 15-20 min, then put him back in bed. If I'm really tired I just doze through it. Definitely easier then bottles!

The only time I have an issue with it is when I'm out. Yes it is very convenient, but it can be messy. I found I didn't really care about people seeing me do it though.

It's been 3.5 months, and I've found I'm really happy doing it now. It doesn't gross me out AT ALL, and i think it's pretty cool that my boy has doubled in size, and it's all from me. My advice is to keep an open mind, give it a go and see how you feel. Try to give it at least 2 weeks - you'll be too tired/emotional to make a rational decision before that.

If it doesn't work out, don't beat yourself up over it. Look around you, Can you you tell who had breast milk and who didn't? Good Luck!

why are the 2 mutually exclusive?

One should not be at the detriment of the other.

Just give it a go! You won't know what it's ACTUALLY like until you do it. You might have to consider that the misgivings you have about BFing are (and please don't take this the wrong way) "all in the mind". So give it a chance...

I had a lot of problems BFing my 15 week DD. Eventually I had to supplement with formula because she was losing weight rather than putting it on... Yes, I know that BF babies weight gain fluctuates but my little DD was at 3weeks and still hadn't regained her birth weight. Infact she lost even more and screamed her little heart out becasue she was so hungry. It was so distressing. We had to do anything to we could to help her. I wouldn't change the fact that we eventually supplemented but now I've dried up too and really miss BFing. I had the whole sore, craked, bleeding nipples and then eventually developed nipple thrush too (which is even more painful!!). But I continued against Paedeatricians advise to at least BF DD every second feed. But I was using sheilds becasue of the thrush and so dired up.

They affect your milk production. I only wish I had all this advise then. Second time round I'm doing my homework before the little one even takes a peek of the outside world!

I second all this! I couldn't be bothered with bottles either...it's much easier (and lazier - yep! happy to admit it) to do what nature intended...

I breastfeed cos im lazy.... I dont have to worry about bottles, cleaning them, making sure i take enough if we go out... and then its the same for night time... just lift up your top and feed away... easy... THEN there are the medical benefits... Less allergies, boosts thier immune system etc...

I really loved breastfeeding my son. yes, there were times that it hurt, especially at the beginning, or the boobs got sore, or leaked everywhere in the middle of the night, but over all, I just loved spending that time with my son, nourishing him and cuddling him at the same time. I ended up breastfeeding for 18 months, I was wearying of it, but at the same time, was sad when it ended.

Look, arm yourself with info and talk to friends etc, but try to remember that it's a different experience for everyone. I had a bit of trouble getting bub to attach for the first 2 weeks and a bit of over supply too, but that was it. Never a problem after that. It was just a very easy way to feed my bub.

There is no way of knowing how it will go for you and you may end up enjoying it... Things can be very different once the baby arrives! You just need to decide that you want to give it a go, make sure you have people who can support you, but don't feel too bad if you find that you just can't do it...

why... because it is the BEST choice for your baby!

Its cheap, environmentally friendly, convenient, natural, has health benefits for mum & baby etc etc etc

I really love breastfeeding, and have been lucky enough to feed both of my children (first to 14 months and second 10 months and no plans of stopping soon). I find it the most wonderful bonding experience, so easy to settle an upset baby, very portable and you can be very discrete about it.

I have always been pro-breastfeeding but in my ante natal class with my first, they got us to hold a doll up to pretend breastfeeding (with our shirts down not up!) and this was the most uncomfortable thing that I did. But the feeling of actually breastfeeding was totally different.

The engorgement settles down, some of us are lucky enough not to get cracked nipples. If your attachment is right you are half way there. It does feel a strange way to hold the baby at first but you do get the hang of it.

I agree that most women hear nothing but bad stories about breastfeeding. I just recently made sure I told my IRL friend who is pregnant with her first baby the good stories.

Good luck with you pregnancy and the journey to parenthood.

Maybe you are thinking too much about it? You've obviously got all the information you need, but the idea of breast feeding still repulses you.
Try breastfeeding if you are willing to go out of your comfort zone. If not, try expressing milk and giving it from a bottle. This is very hard work, and most people give up after a few months.
Otherwise, just be glad that there are so many breast feeding advocates out there that are forcing formula manufacturers to "compete" with breastmilk and hence, provide a better product than they did 30 odd years ago!

I know lots of women who with the help of a great breast-pump and a can-do attitude have expressed long term, even to beyond 12 months.
Agreed, it takes longer as you express and bottle feed bub.
I know women to have feed a bub just breast milk this way, and others who have combination fed, using as much ebm as they wish to express/have and formula.

ahhh.... I had a terrible time at first but I stuck through it not because anyone told me so but because I felt it was the best thing for my precious baby. I am so glad I did. Its really shouldn't be so much about you but rather the wellbeing of your baby. thats not to say the formula is not good, but give it a go. Believe me there will be many sacrifices you will make along the way!

Don't then...you don't want to do it, bottle feed then.

I have a girlfriend who is due in Feb - she has no interest in feeding. Her call...I personally don't agree with it but got nothing to do with me.

As long as I BF my two DD that is all that matters to me.

Good luck with the bottlefeeding

Do you know the risk and disadvantages of formula feeding? http://infant-toddler-health.suite101.com/...formula_feeding

Maybe you feel differently when you do. To me, it's not about the benefits of breastfeeding, it's about the risks of formula.

Hmm, not sure if this is for real either...

Belinda - motherhood can make you less squeemish about a lot of things, like for example, poo.

BFing has been great for us. Once you get the hang of it, it actually feels good, for both of you. It reduces screaming time considerably. The breast can double as a pacifier when your baby is upset or sick. You don't need to carry nearly as much with you on outings.

if you want to be convinced get support and more support and more support!

You will tend to follow the trend around you. DS1 most people bottle fed, so it was no big deal to bottle him eventually (not to mention that i was already preg again)
DS2 again the same thing (and was already preg again as well)
DD1 breast till she was 11mo- and then was preg.
DD2 i am still feeding at 22mo. and loving it! its so much easire than the bottle! Cheaper, and she is my biggest and healthiest bub of the lot. You know that the only reason i have managed to bf her for so long is that i surrounded myself with others who were also breasfeeding.

It is a strange sensation, and the first bub is harder, but you know what the bubs learn to latch on, and they love it. There is so much joy in watching such a little bub know exactly what to do. Im getting teary thinking about it...

eta- i think the bottle is much harder as you have to get up and make it etc... and then wash the darn thing!

It may be for real, but I'm pretty sure the questions quoted in the OPs (of all the Bad Parents Blogs) are old and taken from some other context... Does the person who has their question quoted in the OP ever get to see these responses?

Nevertheless, reading all these posts has made me really miss breastfeeding. Makes me want to get knocked up again so I have someone to feed !

The beginning was hard for me - cracked bleeding nipples, latching on issues, couldn't get comfy, had flashbacks of the midwife ramming baby on to my nipple 2.5 seconds after birth... etc. I remember I saw blood in his poo once and freaked out until I realised it was blood from my nipples! Little Vampire! Then it got easier and I really enjoyed it, and it was so convenient. As a first time mum I had enough on my hands; fumbling around with bottles, brushes and sterilizers would have pushed me over the edge. It is just such a lovely and warm feeling to have your little one on the breast. And knowing that you, actually you, and not the shop is providing the nutrients for your child to grow in the amazing way that it will is an amazing thing.

I continued for about a year at which stage he started using my boobs as snack machines. He would be running around playing and then dash over to me, pull my top down and latch on for a 10 second drink then run off again. That's when it started getting not so great for me, especially because he would come back for snacks 100 times a day . Luckily it was doctors orders after that to get on the formula (multiple allergies) and I was saved from having to decide what to do about this on my own.

Power to the Boob - go on Breastfeed!!

ETA

You just sound embarrassed and dumb. Most women don't have all the problems you list, they just breast feed their babies without an issue. It's not a huge achievement, it;s what's instinctive for the baby, that's what they want.
Get over yourself.

Hi KorinnaC,

The questions may well be old, in that there really aren't many questions that haven't been asked and answered in some format somewhere online before! But they certainly haven't been taken from any other context and have been asked (and answered) in good faith on this blog as being original. And yes, the people who ask each question are as welcome to read the responses as anyone else.

As a reminder to all readers though, please don't hesitate to PM me with any questions that your would like answered via the BP Blog. And of course feel free to nominate whether it's a doctor, lactation consultant, psychologist or any other form of opinion that you're seeking.

Cheers,

Justine

Thanks for your reply Justine. It's good to know what the situation is, its makes replying more meaningful.

Cheers,
KC

I'm glad I breast fed my daughter, I'm proud that we did it together and only this evening I was in the bath and she (almost 5) started asking about my "mimi's" (the nickname we used to have for milk/my nipples that supplied it) and she said they were special but then asked how we got the milk out. :-) The bonding was the nicest part for me, holding her against me, small and warm, watching her eyes as she went through the stages of anxious/hungry before the nipple, then as she started taking the milk her eyes rolled back and closed as she was, what I called, "blissed out". Then I watched her as she sucked gently, no other part of her moving, just those beautiful little lips embracing my nipple and the tiny noise she made with each suck. It's utterly non-sexual, it's like your nipples switch across from "fun" mode to "Mummy" mode when the baby comes.

She grew steadily, strong, sweet, and time I would have spent messing around with bottles I spent holding her and making us both happy for the most part. I feel lucky to have been able to breastfeed because I know a lot of women it didn't really work for. It wasn't an easy thing, I had my girl by caesar and my body wasn't warmed up for a baby so it took about 5 emotional days for my milk to come in. I even had the pediatrician on the ward tell me "it's ok, you just can't breastfeed, you're a bad cow, but it's ok we will start her on formula". My lovely obstetrician walked by as I was bawling my eyes out after being called a bad cow and the pediatrician magically appeared and apologised to me fairly soon after. I persevered with the breast pumps to get my milk flowing properly and I ended up breast feeding for 20 months! My goal was 6 weeks minimum, if I could get the hang of it. I wanted to try hard to give her that much and I'm glad she and I worked it out together.

I dont know about everyone else but when I read nasty comments like this on EB it really annoys me. People post questions etc on EB for constructive advice and comments not to be b*tched at. As my Mum would say, if you can't say anything nice - dont say anything at all.

Belinda - you do what you feel comfortable doing whether that be breastfeeding or formula feeding. I struggled to B/F DD and after she went limp and had to be put into hospital from dehydration at 3 weeks went on to formula feed her. She never took to B/F and neither did I. With DS though it has been the most wonderful relationship and 12 months later we are still enjoying each others company (so to speak) at the boob.

Hi Belinda
Firstly - you are very brave for being so honest, and you do not deserve some of the nasty posts left by the breast-police.
My personal story - I was very lucky, after struggling for the first 24 hours my son got the hang of breastfeeding and away we went for 13 months. I found breastfeeding incredibly easy, and was lucky enough to never suffer from mastitis/cracked nipples etc.
So I just wanted to say keep and open mind and give it a go - I know there are lots of horror stories out there, and personally I was terrified of both childbirth and breastfeeding, but for some of us it is such a piece of cake you really cannot be bothered even considering making a bottle!
Good luck whichever way it works for you!

Limber, that is just beautiful. I was perilously close to crying just then!

Yes, it can be very hard to get it all working properly - but once it works, it works!

Recipe for sucess:

- get educated before baby arrives
- call on as much help as you need once baby arrives (ABA, Lactation consultants)
- commit to working hard at it for 2 months (you may need up to this amount of time to sort out any problems, but once it works, it is SO much simpler and easier than using formula)

Good Luck

Not much that is natural comes easy. When you learnt to walk, you fell over a few times, had a few tumbles. We expect that something that is natural should be easy - which is not necessarily the case.

Breastfeeding is a wonderful experience for both you and your baby. It provides the best start in life for your baby, helps prevents breast cancer and other cancers in you, and is a wodnerful bonding experience.

I would highly recommend doing an ABA course before your baby arrives and talking to a lacatation consultant so you know you can call on someone should you have issues.

best of luck.

Hi Belinda

I can so identify with your feelings about BF. I was never really keen on the idea - I have rather large (.)(.) and always felt self-conscious and certainly the though of BF in front of someone else (even DH) was just awful.

With DD1, I tried. It was hard - for all their size, there was not much milk. In hospital, DD1 had lost too much weight so we started with comp feeding (topping up with formula). So DD1 was getting my milk and formula - I keep trying to BF with little success because I had flat nipples and I felt like my (.)(.) were smothering DD. Within a week I had an infection and it was soooo painful. So I started expressing and honestly, that I could cope with. And it meant DH could help with feeding. There were also other issues happening at the time and at 4 weeks, I had to have a GA and antibiotics and was thankful to have a reason to stop BF and expressing completely.

With DD2, I was almost dead set against any BF whatsoever. I decided I was going to express and top up with formula. For first few days in hospital, I did BF so DD2 would get some colostrum but within a few days, I was sore and it was too painful to continue. But with expressing, I fed DD2 for about 3 months.

I must say, all the bad rap about formula is misguided and really, I think primarily targeted at mothers in 3rd world countries where the water is bad and there are lots of diseases.

Both my DDs are happy, healthy, bright and haven't been anymore unwell that fully BF children.

I think you need to do what works for you and don't let anyone bully you into BF.

I apologise: it was a nasty and angry post.

It just really annoys me when a mother is more concerned with aesthetics and minor issues about BFing.

It is so right and good for your baby, nutritionally and emotionally.

I have BF a total of 10 years with 4 babies and have fed through bleeding cracked nipples, public feeding, leaks and engorgement and pumping during breaks at work.I think you have to set your ego and fears aside and just do it.

This is actually grossly incorrect, please do some more research before you offer this opinion to anyone else

I'm pregnant but I have never really liked the idea of changing nappies. I think wiping up poo is kind of disgusting, I hear that it is best for my baby's health if I change her nappies but I just don't like the idea.

Curiosity impels me to ask - which bit is 'grossly' incorrect?

OP, don't be afraid to give it a go - but please also don't be afraid to formula feed if that is ultimately what is best for you and your bub. The only failure is failing to have a go - but keep an open mind on it. Some people, do it easy. Some people, do it hard - but still do it. Some people look at the their child and make different decisions for THEIR health.

FWIW I considered breastfeeding as an adoptive parent. Unfortunately early onset menopause, and the drugs used to deal with that, meant that it wasn't really an option for my DD. We bottle fed, and she has thrived. Each to their own circumstances, I say!