New thread time


link to last thread

Ohhhhhh this has never happened to me, I got in first!

Cool.

Nothing to say though, sorry

Cheers,
Julie

Good on you Julie! Bring on the holidays.....and a few holiday pregnancies.

I head to SydneyIVF for my BTs and they were saying that the numbers of women waiting for tests in the mornings are now triple what they usually are - due to trying to get in another cycle before the Medicare changes (they think)...wow! They usually see around 100 women a day and they are now seeing around 300.

Enjoy your day ladies - Vessie, I think you are testing again today. Good luck with that.

To all the other Faaaabbbbulous Forties - hope all the new vitamins/drugs (or lack of for Julie) are doing the trick.

Chloe

Hi Lovelies

Sorry for the me post this time, am having an early to bed night tonight (so tired) but will be back soon to catch up on personals. Thought you would think I was MIA...

Well the stress levels hit overload this week - yesterday morning I woke tired & cranky with premenstral type cramping that only lasted for a little while then nothing. At morning tea today I had some slight pink spotting but that too has disappeared (don't normally get spotting, but what is 'normal' with all the drugs?) Today is 12DPO.

So its now definite - I'm either PG or I'm about to get AF. Glad that cleared up any confusion. DH asked me if I wanted to POAS but declined the kind offer because I'm already managing to do my own head in without the added bonus of possible false positives/negatives. Yep, roll on Monday BT!

PS (I'm really missing being able to chat with you gals during the day.)

Hi Madonna
Thanks for the update! Monday must seem so far away for you....

A few things that could be positive signs for you - tiredness is supposed to hit you in your first couple of weeks of pregnancy. There is also supposed to be an "implantation" bleed which could account for the spotting. Cramping can mean AF, but it also means BFP which is great....

Fingers are tightly crossed!!!
Chloe

Hi all

I've been at SIVF everyday this week and finally am cooked and ready to go!
My estrogen is at 13,000 and have about 22 follicles. There are about 7 big ones 15-21mm. So hopefully will get 1 good outcome (don't need a whole football team).
The EPU scheduled for Saturday morning.
Hopefully pain management will be ok.

Madonna - definitely I'm thinking pre-implanation bleed. Positive thoughts for Monday.

Take care
V

Hi all,
Madonna - oh gee, I think there's a chapter in my book on this one ... When AF signs and PG signs are the same and it makes you quite mental ... for what it's worth, chloe is right, spotting can be a positive sign (and remember she had some spotting which turned out to be implantation) and most definitely when pg you get tiredness early on, so once again, I am crossing everything!! I cannot wait to see how you go on Monday!!

Chloe - how are you going, oh incubating one? When is that first scan happening?? You have to post us a pic, I still have mine from my very first scan with DS at 5w6d and it's bloody amazing!!

Vessie - wow, you are some egg-making machine, you go girl!! So you will soon be in the 2WW wait too - it's certainly all happening around here!

AFM - Off to see my FS tomorrow afternoon, I am really looking forward to having an appointment where I won't be having the dreaded dildo cam or injections or any other unmentionables. I have my list of questions all ready, and we should also get the results of DH's semen analysis, so hopefully it will be a positive session. I'm not sure what my cycle will be doing without medication, I am CD10 today and did an OPK last night which showed a feint line. That is actually typical for me on a non-medicated cycle, as I normally ovulate around CD17-19, so I will keep using the OPKs every 2nd day and hopefully the line will get darker and I'll get my familiar O pain.

I'm on my RDO tomorrow (YAY) so won't be around - have a great weekend all, and I'll be back Monday to hear your latest news Madonna.

Oh and one more thing, is it just me or does anyone else wish we could actually get together in person and sit round over some cocktails (or mocktails for those of us in the family way) and just chat about being 40-something and ttc/pg/etc? Sigh, I guess we'll just have to keep on typing!

Cheers all,
Julie

Julie - I imagine it would be a loud, fun get together with lots of cocktails involved and lots of information shared. It would be a fantastic get together.... ..I guess this is the next best thing....
I hope the FS appointment goes well with no surprises in the semen analysis and your FS has lots of proactive steps for you to take....(no dildo cam - excellent!) It is getting close to O time...so you must be trying to plan ahead of when to BD (and when not to) .......as you'll be reading this on Monday - did you have a relaxing RDO and weekend.

Vessie - you finally cooked...sounds like a great number of follicles and good sizes as well. I imagine you are feeling a bit tight or bloated with that number. EPU on Saturday - excellent & exciting. Take it easy for the rest of the weekend - you deserve some time with you feet up after the wait to get to EPU.

Madonna - how are you holding out not POAS? Have you climbed any of the walls yet? How is DH coping with the wait? I'm not wishing you a relaxing weekend ..... I'm wishing you a weekend that goes by quickly so Monday comes around with minimal anxiety!!!! .....IVF is about waiting I think...waiting for the drugs to kick in, your follicles to get large enough, waiting for EPU, waiting to see if your embryos have grown (the nervousness of calling to get those results!...aarrghh), waiting for ET, the 2WW....and it isn't as if we have time to wait really, but nothing we can do. Anyway, a big hug for Monday to you and your embies - I hope that you are feeling good and this is the one for you!!! ...and why shouldn't it be - other women get pregnant all the time, why not you? (one of the women on EB uses that as a positive affirmation when she sees a pregnant lady she says "If they can do it, so can I"). Grow embies, Grow embies, grow embies!!!

JFE, Skip - How are things going with you?

AFM - had to go back onto the Crinone pessaries due to a bit of a scare with some bleeding and my progresterone being low. We are hanging in there for now and looking so forward to next Tuesday for the first scan. It will be a week or so earlier than normal because we are then heading OS for a couple of weeks but I don't think I could wait out another week anyway to find out if there is a heart beat and it is in the right place (ie. not ectopic).....(Julie - your posts & advice do always calm me down....I can't imagine how much more I'd be stressing if it wasn't for them so thanks!)

Have a fabulous weekend ladies. Lots of activity in this forum coming up - Julie (FS appt today and possibly ovulation next week); Vessie (EPU on Saturday); Madonna (BT Monday)

Chloe

Hi Everyone
(I'm new - please be nice to me.!!)

Have just popped in, after having a bit of a look around on the forum, and thinking that this chat room is a good fit for me. I am about to do my very first EPU this coming Wed, and 1st IVF cycle too - obviously!!
Feeling positive, but scared at the same time. I hope I can pop in here and chat to some lovely like-minded people who understand the ups and downs of it all.
We have done 2 failed IUI's and now am on the IVF path...
Anyway, cheers, and hope to chat with some of you soon.
Ruby

Look out Lovelies, this will be mammoth seeing I haven’t been able to catch up with you properly during the week! Hope you're all having a great weekend.

Disingenuous drug free & dangerous eh? Look out DH, the count down’s on! You would have had your FS appointment by now. I hope both you & your DH got great results. Can’t wait for the update on your latest advice from your FS.

Yes, Julie, I’d love it if we were all just around the corner to drop in for a wine or a juice! It’s great being able to chat with someone going through similar experiences, but I seriously think we’d all be ROFL about anything & everything in general. It sounds like we all have more in common than just TTC. It’d be a United Nations gathering - well you do have a ‘Mexican’ (south of the Qld border) as well!

How’s the beach ensemble going? All kitted out?

Chloe I hope your scare is well & truly over, that the Crinone’s doing the trick and that scan day is full of wonderment with lots of gooing and garring so you can head over to South Africa beaming your best ‘Baby on Board’ smile. Your holiday is well deserved after the stress of cycling. I hope you have a fabulous time! Just in case I can’t post again before you head off - Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! I will be looking out for updates from you when I’m back in the country from mid January. Take care of you! I’m still just so excited for you! Congratulations again Chloe!

DH’s DD’s are 18 & 13 and yes they are coming to live with us permanently we hope (immigration visas pending). Their mother actually doesn’t want them with her any more. I was appalled at that comment and just could not comprehend where she was coming from no matter how hard I tried. DH & I definitely want them with us so we feel like we’re the lucky ones and I made sure DH told the girls they are loved and wanted and we can’t wait to welcome them to their new home. Both girls are keen to be with us as soon as possible and for a new addition to the family too.

DH’s ex is a Dr & he gave up his career as an Environmental Scientist to be a stay at home Dad for many years. They have been separated for many years now & have both had other partners but it was only when we met that he decided to finally get divorced. Polygamy is accepted in PNG (with men having many wives) but it’s definitely not acceptable with me - that's the one thing I definitely won't share. I feel the divorce has propagated the response in his ex but he thinks she wants her freedom to pursue her career and her boyfriend without the children around. Nah, still can’t understand it. Love me, love my children I say.

Yes, I’m anxious about how it will all pan out because childhood is such a precious thing and I have zero ‘motherhood’ experience. We’re all going to have to improve our communication skills I feel. It’ll be a huge adjustment for us all on so many different levels. As for whether they will travel back to visit their mother, I guess that will be one of the topics up for family discussion. My first response was definitely, but I suppose all parties need to be willing for that to come about and financially it's a large cost (internal airfares are very expensive in PNG).

Are you getting excited about your OS trip yet?

Vessie you would have had your EPU this morning. I hope you got great results, the ‘good’ drugs have kicked in for any pain relief needed, your DH is pampering you and you’re enjoying some well deserved R & R!

When do they do the genetic testing for you? Is it at 5 days/blast? Good luck for the fertilization of that football team!

Ruby welcome aboard! How exciting for you - EPU - yeh! How many follicles are you expecting? Is your FS recommending 2/3 day transfers or 5 day transfers? What type of cycle are you on - Antagonist? I hope your journey with IVF is short & sweet and that Santa brings you a sticking embie! Do you have any plans for xmas?

Skip any news on when you start your AC journey? How’re you going? This'll be your bub's first xmas won't it? Have you lined up for the Santa photo yet?

JFE hope all is cycling well with you for your FET and that those ovaries of yours are rejuvenating beautifully.

to any of the other Fab 40’s out there. Jump on in!

AFM had another acupuncture session on Friday & unfortunately my pulses were racing (not good - conducive to the body trying to expel). So had a sh*t day trying to keep my emotions in check at the office. After last week being so promising, this was not the news I was wanting. Came home and broke down in tears to DH.

***Warning - am about to turn into a bitter old cow*** He was obviously saddened too but then picked himself up & told me about the new $200 watch he’d bought himself, and oh, that money he was supposed to give me towards paying off our IVF & travel bill on my credit card (that is currently incurring interest) - it’ll will have to wait! So felt like I should have been the centre of his universe at that moment only to find out that I wasn’t, self gratification came first!

Trying to suck up the tears & boiling in silent venom over his misguided priorities, I put dinner on the table & he dismissed it saying he’ll have it later (retaliation for the obvious super cranky cow vibes I was now omitting). Yep, tried to contain a Linda Blair moment and had a melt down in the bathroom instead. Felt like sh*t to start with, hyper sensitive I know, but on all days that I needed his support he chose instead to walk out & head to the man cave at the local sports club to escape ‘whatever was wrong’ whilst I cried my eyes out questioning the meaning of life alone.

Two hours later we finally got to talk it through. What a crap day. We know we both have to improve our communication skills when we’re upset or angry. Thank God it is a very rare occurrence but it’s very important we get that one right and it scares me.

So today AF arrived, one day late. Joy to the world! Yep, oh so vulnerable, bearly managed to suck up the tears at the shopping centre then had another melt down when we got home. This time DH stayed put for support & he didn’t need to be a mind reader as I openly howled my heart out. Left over grief from last night’s episode too I think. DH’s on back to back shifts tonight through to tomorrow afternoon, so I’m home alone wallowing in my misery and in all the foods & drinks I have been avoiding for the sake of TTC.

We’ve decided that we will travel to PNG as originally planned so will not be able to IVF cycle due to malaria risks if pregnant for the next two cycles. That would bring us up to the last week in January before signing on again, all going to schedule.

Hoping like crazy the ovarian reserve lasts that long and that DH gets his budgeting priorities under control in time to share the cost of the ticket for our 3^rd rollercoaster ride otherwise it won’t be happening. Have been working hard, saving every single penny to reduce our debt and am so ready for some fun, pampering and relaxation without worrying about TTC or feeling guilty over spending money.

Sorry Ladies, feeling like the super whinging cow carrying the load by myself at the moment. Will snap out of the self pity tomorrow - indulging today alas.

Tomorrow the ‘get rid of the injection roll’ campaign begins. Some serious exercise should do the trick - it’s been a while. That grass mini skirt awaits and it won't be hiding anything other than 'what I had for breakfast'. I guess our tribal wedding ceremony will literally be what you see is what you get (applying more wine, now!)

BTW what did your FS recommend as far as when to BD and when not to? We weren’t told to abstain at all, only that we should BD the night before DH's semen sample and the night of ET as the presence of sperm was conducive to implantation. It’s just that my acupuncturist suggested that it’s not recommended after that to minimize potential cramping until the embryo has implanted. Yep, niggling thought that BDing might have upset our apple cart this time. I know if it's going to stick, it'll stick but would really love to know what has been recommended to you.

Thanks for listening Lovelies.

Hello and sorry I’ve been MIA, very busy at work. Should slow down in the next week or so, I have lots happening at once, its always the way.

DH at work, DS still in bed, I’ve got cupper in hand and have just had a good read to catch up on what’s happening with you lovely ladies.

Madonna …quot; Big hugs, so sorry to hear that AF arrived crap, crap, crap! It’s so heartbreaking knowing it’s a BFN after all the hope, nerves, excitement during the 2ww, add the additional cocktail of IVF drugs to the picture makes for a very emotional time. Sorry DH wasn’t there to give you the support you needed when AF arrived, the journey can be very lonely at times and it feels like no-one else understands how we are feeling, thank god for this BG I say. Glad all is back on track with DH.

Vent away lovely lady, we all know how you feel on this IVF roller coaster of emotions with the big highs and lows it brings, the pressure just isn’t the same for our DH (unless that is there is a MIF involved).

Bring on PNG, wow how very exciting having a tribal wedding ceremony, that’s a once in a lifetime experience. Brave lady getting into a grass mini skirt!

Will you take some time off work when DH DD arrive? There will be a massive settling in period ahead for both you and girls, they will have to adjust to different cultures, first days at school, new friends. I bet they are so excited. I so hope it wont be long now before you have them with you in a loving environment.

Have you tried the vitamin Vitex? I’m taking it at them moment and I cant rave about it enough, It’s given my hormones such a booster while I have been on my IVF break, google it and see what you think.

We could be cycling together in Jan if my FET doesn’t stick.

Not sure on BD before ET, I haven’t discussed this with my FS. I too would be interested to hear from ladies that have some knowledge on this topic

Chloe69 …quot; Sorry to hear about the bleeding, must have freaked you out. You will be waiting, waiting, waiting for your scan this week. It will be very reassuring and emotional for you when you get to see the baby and heartbeat for the first time. I will keep an eye out for your post Tuesday afternoon, Wednesday to see how the scan went.

Have a fabulous time in South Africa! Relax, enjoy, relax, enjoy and relax and enjoy some more.

Disingenuous …quot; How did your FS appointment go? Did DH get good results?

How’s the body feeling taking Vitex? I was reading somewhere its like a natural supplement to Clomid working in similar ways.

You mentioned in an earlier post you take a cocktail of vitamins, what vitamins do you take? I’m on CQ10, royal jelly, folate, Chinese herbs (pills and potions), zinc, DHEA, Vitex (shake rattle and roll).

Will you start Clomid again next cycle if you don’t get that spontaneous BFP this cycle?

Oh loved DS doodle story I can so relate, my DS about 6 months ago was convinced that boys were much more superior than girls because they have a P. For example he would say to me you can’t do this mummy (swinging on a monkey bar) because you don’t have a P. It went on for about a month and I had to warn his kindy teachers because everything related to his P. They are just so innocent with their comments it’s just hilarious.

Have a wonderful holiday, sun, surf, relaxation, just what the dr ordered.

Ruby …quot; Welcome and Good luck for Wed EPU, hope you get lots of nice mature googly eggs.

Vessie …quot; How did you go with EPU yesterday?

AFM …quot; I have started taking prednisone and progesterone pesseries (lovely things they are - NOT) and go for ET on Wednesday all going well with the thawing and assisted hatching process. Start Clexane injections on day of ET. That’s about it from me besides still without a bathroom and it’s driving me bananas, everything is so expensive (got a quote for a shower screen $1800 WTF). Hopefully it will be finished in the next week or so.

Hello to all the other lovely ladies

Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday!

Hi all

Hope your having a lovely Sunday - I'm a bit sore and bloated (looking pregnant).

I had 19 follicles of which 14 were mature and 13 have been fertilised.
So far so good - next phone call will be on Day 3. If I get good ones at Day 5 - then they will do the CGH genetic testing and freeze them all (no transfer). If they are not suitable for genetic testing then will have a transfer on Thursday and will start the prednisone.
I feel so overwhelmed - so many hurdles at every stage, things can easily go pear shaped.

Sorry Madonna to hear that things haven't gone as planned - such a bummer! You seem to have alot on at the moment which will be a good distraction. We all need distractions - we have been renovating our house which can be a royal pain but it definitely helps get my mind off our childless situation. (except for the 2 spare rooms we have with nothing in them - ha ha!)

JFE - i noted that you are taking prednisone - is this for NKC? What dose are you taking and when did you start taking it? I've just testing positive to uterin NKC so will have to take 25mg before FET. I've been on it before due to lupus and hate it with a passion. Speaking of horrible meds - I also have to use clexane which leaves me bruised.

Ruby - good luck with EPU, how many follicles do you have with dildo cam? Are you under general anaesthetic or local with sedation? I've done both and my recovery is so much better with local and sedation.

Take care and look forward to reading about Chloe69 first scan,

Vessie

Vessie congratulations on the motherload! No wonder you are feeling sore and bloated - I hope that settles down quickly for you and that all you little embies are all strong, well behaved for you. You'll have an anxious wait now no doubt so I hope you are pleasantly distracted to make the time fly by. Would you prefer to have the genetic testing done or an ET at this stage?

JFE your bathroom reno is going to be gorg when it's finished! all goes well for the thaw & assisted hatching. ET Wednesday . I always think ET is the most exhilarating part of the process (but I'm sure getting the BFP and then babe in arms beats that hands down too.) JFE you could have a baby on board by xmas!

Thank you so much for your support. I Googled Vitex thank you - I'm so glad you are having a great result with it. I'm a little hesitate to take anything that may influence my hormone levels without my FS's approval I have to admit. I haven't been diagnosed with any hormone imbalance - the levels are still operating as they should and I'm still ovulating naturally. Because DH's swimmers have slowed down and factor in my age, our chances of falling PG naturally are slim. That's why were are doing ICSI. We are getting low egg numbers but great ferilisation rates. None are sticky yet. When do they investigate further as to other factors like natural killer cells?

I wish our clinic would approve DHEA because we might have improved egg numbers, egg quality and hence stickness. I know we are nearing the end of our AC journey. I will be 46 in March and that is the sad reality. I'm half tempted to contact the Brisbane IVF clinic that is having good results with older women conceiving (we live in Darwin & there is only 1 clinic here).

Does anyone know the name of that Brisbane clinic? If you do could you please PM me? Desperation kicking in now - we really don't have time on our side and even though I'm happy with our clinic, I feel I need to know I have explored all avenues using our own 'supplies' while there is still a slight chance for us.

Hi Madonna + everyone,
Many thanks for the kind and warm welcome. I'll answer your questions first!! : I had my first U/S Fri and had 11 follicles - 6 on R, + 5 on L (after 5 days on 250iu Puregon), the FS said this was great, but kept me on the same dosage over the weekend with another U/S scheduled for Mon am. There may be more by then, who knows? But what I am learning is that even with 12+ follicles, it doesn't necessarily guarantee that many eggs or even viable/healthy eggs... So I guess it's a waiting game 'til the actual EPU & follow-up lab stuff is done. Because I am a bit of a newbie, I don't know all the different cycle types - though I'm thinking mine is a Boost cycle. So that's all I know. Though I'm sure my clinic (city fertility in SKR Melb) does a 2 day transfer.
I am also learning on here that I have a lot to ask of my FS still, and so much more to learn...!!
Thanks for sharing about your experience; I can relate to how you feel - esp with the somewhat 'inadequate' responses we often receive from our poor and just as long-suffering DH's... My thoughts for a happy 'recovery' from this disappointment are with you.
Cheers for now,
ruby

Hi Madonna -I'm having trouble with my PM - not sure what is going on. Will try and work it out. I'm not sure of the name of the Brisbane FS and I can't find the post (except a reference to a Dr Glen Stirling which then had a post saying he had been deregistered). I've put a forum topic up in the "General" AC section to see if anyone can help.

Hi Everyone - great to hear what is happening with you all. Take care and I'll be back to post personals later.

Chloe

Hi all,
Firstly, Madonna, well when it goes to sh*t, it really goes to sh*t, doesn't it? I can safely say we are all feeling your pain, although that really doesn't make it feel any better. I hope you're feeling more on top of things today, and looking forward to your ceremony in PNG - OMG, the thought of having to put on a grass skirt and wear it in public makes me want to pass out, so you must be in pretty good shape for it not to be worrying you too much! You also know you have a good ovarian reserve and logically it's not just going to diminish over night or even in a month or two, so your chances early next year will be just as good as they are now. Let's agree to move forward into 2010 with our hopes realistic and our hearts a little more battered but still open to our dreams.

Edited to add: The FS my friend was seeing in Brisbane was Dr Warren Deambrosis, she was 39 when he helped her conceive her DS (I say helped in the nicest possible way LOL, it was her husband that did the important bit), and he is apparently well known for working with 'older' women.

Chloe - stupid bleeding, god I really hate bleeding!! Without sounding like she who's had everything happen to her, I had lots of bleeding with my pregnancy with DS - 5 episodes between 5 and 13 weeks, one bleed was so bad I thought I'd wet myself only to look down and discover blood soaking through my clothes and onto our sofa Of course at that moment I thought it was all over (again) but a scan an hour later revealed our little embryo happily ensconsed with his heart fluttering away. As my FS says, bleeding in pregnancy is never normal, but it's not always bad news. So your scan is today?? I truly am waiting with baited breath to hear about how it all goes!

And I agree, as a group we seem to have much more in common than ttc. I've never really clicked with any buddy groups before, so this one is a real delight and I look forward to coming in each day and seeing what everyone is up to.

Ruby - welcome, your situation sounds somewhat similar to mine. We are now at the one year mark of ttc number 2, and whilst we won't be embarking down the IVF path, we are doing Clomid and possibly IUI. Very best of luck for your first EPU tomorrow, please let us know how you go and keep us posted with your progress and then of course during the dreaded 2WW.

Vessie - holy cow, that sounds like a lot of eggs, especially for someone of ... ahem ... advanced age. Well done you! You're another one I'll be stalking for news!

JFE - sounds like I have lots to look forward to with DS and his body parts! As soon as the nappy comes off his hand is straight down there to check all is well, and he then proclaims 'doodle' in a very happy little voice. I guess not much changes as they grow older!

In answer to your question, I'm currently taking 1500mg Metformin daily (3x500mg) for PCOS, low dose aspirin (for suspected - but never proven - anticoagulant issues), pregnancy vitamins, Vitex and at the moment Vitamin B1 supplements to ward off sandflies during our holiday. Then when it's Clomid time I take three of those as well, so every morning it takes me about half a litre of orange juice just to get them all down. But I have to say it beats the hell out of all the drugs you IVFers have to deal with, and the fact that I'm not injecting myself is a real bonus!

AFM - Well I am the walking dead at the moment, DS has been sick since Saturday with high fevers, he has barely slept the last four nights and it's absolutely killing me, as even though DH is his primary carer at the moment, when he's sick he just wants Mum. I had yesterday off as I was too tired to even drive myself to work, but I've had to come in today to try and get on top of things before I go on hols. DH is taking him to the doctor this afternoon, I suspect tonsils and/or ears, so hopefully we will get some antibiotics to get him fixed before we head off to Straddy.

FS appointment went really well. It was so nice just to sit and chat and not have to try and make small-talk whilst pretending he's not probing me with that damned ultrasound thingy. He thought it was funny that I'd had my progesterone test done on the wrong day (as he knows what a control freak I am), and said that having it two days early would explain the low reading. So that was good news. DH also got his semen analysis results, they were mostly positive. Count and motility are great, but there was some minor evidence of clumping which may be a sign of antisperm antibodies. They are now re-testing for this, but FS is not too concerned as this condition is usually a result of some sort of 'trauma' (eg vasectomy reversal, testicular issues) which DH has never had, so fingers crossed it will all be fine.

At the moment I am CD15, CM is starting to change and move towards EWCM so hopefully I will be ovulating around CD19 which is normal for me when unmedicated. That will coincide nicely with going on holidays, I would love to be the one person with fertility issues for whom going on holidays and/or relaxing actually worked!!

Anyway, gotta go and do some work. Chloe, anything to report on your scan?

Cheers,
Julie

Hi all

Madonna - for the NKC - they did the biopsy on me (Day 20) because I have had 2 m/c and 12 good quality embryo transfers and still nothing! NKC is not a definite diagnosis - it's controversial - but for me it's worth a go to try the prednisone.
So I would check with your FS.

I'm not having a good day - after 13 eggs were fertilised - today is Day 3, I'm down to 6 embryos and 7 de-stressed embryos that look like their not going to make it.
Usually most of the embryos drop off between Day 4-5, so by Day 5 I might not end up with much and it may not be worth doing genetic testing. They usually genetic test if you have several good embryos. (Last time we ended up with 8 good ones)
Don't understand how 1 cycle can be so different from another.
ANyway, on Thursday I will find out how they are at Day 5 and if they will do any testing or if they are poor quality or small numbers then will do a transfer on that day.
Really prefer to have the testing done.

Hope youre having a good day!
V

Hi all,
chloe, how did your scan go?

Vessie, so sorry to hear that your embryos aren't doing so well. Here's hoping you get enough to do testing. Let us know how you go on Thursday.

AFM - just a quick one. It would appear that the old girl is ovulating nicely on her own! Started having some O pains last night, did an OPK and it was a very strong positive. Got DH on the job straight away and the O pain is even stronger today so will be busy tonight too. JFE, I must thank you for reminding me about Vitex, as I'm positive that's what's done the trick. My normal unmedicated cycle would see O on CD19, so for me to be Oing around CD14-15 is just brilliant. So it looks like there'll be a few of us in the 2WW coming into Christmas. Everything crossed for all of us!

Cheers,
Julie

Hi Lovely Ladies
I just spent the last hour writing a mammoth post of personals only to have the internet drop out at the end and I lost it! Anyway I'll rewrite and post - because there was alot of wanted to catch up with on how everyone is progressing.

A quick update as I can't post PMs at the moment - scan yesterday was fantastic. Heart beat and sac in the place where it was supposed to be. I cried a bit (from relief) and zoned out after that - I hadn't realised how tense I was until then. Had an issue with the spotting as I'm ORh- and most likely the foetus is Rh+ which means my body can see it as a "foreign" object and build up antibodies against it. Only an issue for subsequent pregnancies or if I have any bleeding in this one. Anyone they gave me the "D Link" injection yesterday, which should stop my body building up the antibodies,rather than waiting until after the baby is born - but everything looks okay so far. Spent a rough night in bed with a slight fever due to the injection working through my body though.

Julie - we've been following your experience as a bit of a mantra - so thanks for those PMs! Even if I can't PM you to tell you how much reasurrance they give us please know that we are grateful for sharing your experience - you beautiful woman!

Everyone - Will be back shortly with another post (this time I'll be saving as I go along!). JFE - ET for you today? If so, Good Luck with the assisted hatching!

Have a great day
Chloe

Oh chloe, that is awesome news. I have been checking in and out, hoping you would post. I am just so, so pleased for you and DH. Has it sunk in yet that this is really going to happen for you?

And thank you so much for your lovely words, you actually made me shed a little tear with your kindness. It is so nice to know that my ramblings are of some use!

and JFE, thinking of you today too. Hope all goes smoothly.

Cheers,
Julie

Hi Ladies

Just a quick post I popped in to see how Chloe scan went.

Chloe …quot; yay yay yay, congratulations! You can now go away and have a fab holiday knowing baby onboard and safe.

AFM …quot; had ET this morning, no assisted hatching, apparently it’s too dangerous to do on a blast as the cells are to close to the outer zona. They said blast looked good and was expanding (I don’t really know what that means but sounded good)

Hello to all the other lovely ladies

I will post more tomorrow

Hellooooo Fabulous Forties...how is everyone?....I'm determined to catch up with all the action with this post....

Since we can't all get together for cocktails, here is a picture of us all (I'm second from the right):
.

Vessie - Day 5 for you today. I hope things have improved and those 6 embryos held on and are all good to freeze for genetic testing. Do you still do an ET with a fresh one even if you freeze the others? There are some women who would think that 2 eggs is a fantastic haul but, as you said previously, egg numbers aren't the issue for you - it is getting them to stick. You've been through this process so many times that surely the "lucky" egg must be coming up soon for you. It must be frustrating to have results vary so much from cycle to cycle. I've read heaps of stories on the site from women who thought had gone through great results and ended up with a BFN, only to get their BFP with one egg whilst experiencing the flu and forgetting to take medication - so there is no magic formula I guess. Stay strong and I hope that everything goes well for you today.

JFE - oooohhhh, a good looking blastocyst that is expanding....that is exciting news. So you are now PUPO - good for you. Enjoy the first few days of the 2WW before the anxiety sets in (though it would be better if it didn't). ET is such a positive, positive time - you have done all you can to ensure that you get a good outcome...now look after yourself and focus on the amazing possibility that this could become! Doesn't your bathroom get finished this week as well? That will be great to have it back again - and a renovated one at that!!

Ruby - how are things going with you? Where are you up to now? Have you had EPU - how did that go.? - more details please (if you feel like sharing) . I love it when one of us is going for the "egg hunt" - it is a great step!. You are right that a lot of follicles doesn't guarantee good number of quality eggs but it sounds like you are doing fantastically with follicle numbers - I hope that it translates into some great eggs for you - though 1 is all it takes! For your first round of IVF you must be feeling a bit daunted. I tried at the start to stay on top of what was happening in the hope that I could have input into the process. i soon gave up and just agreed to whatever was suggested. Luckily I had a fanstastic FN who I could run anything past and who seemed to send me an email update just when I needed it. Not that my FS wasn't good - she was just a bit daunting and I didn't feel as comfortable running things by her. Given where you are up to you should have your ET shortly - which would put you into the 2WW leading up to Xmas. Fabulous!

Skip - a big . How are you getting on?

Madonna - I've written and tried to send this paragraph about 5 times in the last 5 days so it may seem like old condolescences now....but I'm really, really sorry things didn't work out for you & DH this time. You did all you could. This process is just SO unfair sometimes. Being a great person doesn't make a difference and desperately wanting to be a mum doesn't change the outcome. It is such a chance thing. How are you feeling about things now? I think that you posted before that your odds will increase on your 3rd cycle? Seeing someone for a second opinion sounds like a proactive step. I wish that your FS would consider DHEA for you if it is having good results for others. . You have alot coming up in the next couple of months - the PNG trip and then DH's 2 girls coming to stay (do you refer to them as DSDs?). Get lots of sleep now so you'll have the energy (I'm not even mentioning the grass skirt wedding - you are a brave woman!. Does DH also go in traditional costume and wear the.... ahem...horn/cone?) How is the spot on your nose going? Will you be able to get that dealt with during the Xmas break? Big, big hugs for you . I've been thinking of you often and wishing that you didn't have to go through this process again - but good to see that you are thinking ahead to next time.

Disingenuous - wow! exciting times for you! I read your post wrongly yesterday and thought that O was coming up - but it is actually here and you are BD'ing already. Things are moving quickly.....



Your comment made me giggle - well done "old girl". Glad to hear you and DH are getting busy - do you secretly think that our DH's love being called to action?...or maybe they just love any excuse to BD?

So that means that you are heading into the 2WW as well along with JFE and soon Ruby and maybe Vessie?......"all I want for Xmas is a BFP, a BFP, a BFP" ". Come on Santa - come through with the goods!

How is DS going? Poor thing if it is tonsils. I hope that it gets cleared up BEFORE you head to Straddy. I have a friend who has 4 small children. One ALWAYS gets sick the day before the start of a holiday resulting in many cancelled plans. So not good that DS isn't well and you and DH aren't getting much sleep but good to get it out of the way now if you can.

Oh, and glad to hear that your FS appointment went well - not having to do dildo cam - yeah!

AFM - 2 days until we leave for 2 weeks of holidays - well really family celebrations of my inlaws 50th and MIL's 83rd birthday. We found a great website for the grandparents called digigifts where you can get photos put on various items - including placemats. So my DH got some photos of his DD put onto some placemats for his parents that live in South Africa - they adore their GD (grand daughter) so whilst it may sound like a weird present they are going to really love it! I haven't packed yet and need some new clothes but I've left it too late so I'll think about it tomorrow night (probably an all nighter before we fly out getting organised). I'd do it tonight but I booked tickets about 6 months ago to see "The Whitlams" with a girlfriend before we'd planned this holiday....looking forward to that as well....

Oh, and one more thing I wanted to share. I went to see an Obstetrician and a Midwife on Tuesday. They asked why we'd done IVF and I mentioned that the odds of getting pregnant naturally in your 40s weren't good. They said Rubbish straight away. The midwife said she believes that you can get pregnant at any age (she had her DDs at 38 & 39 whilst using a condom which probably sways her opinion as being as fertile as that she'll probably have children in her 50s). The Obstetrician was really dismissive of age, didn't even think it worthy of discussing - which I thought was fantastic!!!

Have a fantastic day ladies. Try and spend some time just on you today - definitely deserved!.
Chloe

Hi Madonna
checkout the link below to the EB forum on the Brisbane Fertility specialist:

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...howtopic=743198

Looks like the Dr Warren De Ambrosis - and the postings say to warn you that he is a bit out there.....so maybe you'd want to try another FS as well in Brisbane - in case you are put off by his manner.

Good Luck with deciding on your next move.
Chloe

Morning all,
Chloe - I hope you're having a mocktail, I don't want to have to report you to DOCS.

My FS (who is also my Ob) sounds like yours. He never, ever focuses on my age which keeps me positive. I am what one might call rubenesque, if one were being very polite, and he has never, ever mentioned my weight (talk about the proverbial elephant in the room ) I'll be interested to see how your experience goes with your Ob over the coming months, as from my experience lots of women, myself included, develop a lovely little crush on their Ob. I guess by the nature of their choice of work they are pretty gentle and caring individuals, and once those pregnancy hormones kick in it becomes a bit of a love fest. I still remember when I was about 30 weeks pg with DS, my Ob was using the doppler to listen to his heart. As the chugga chugga noise came through, Ob looked at me and said 'Isn't that the most beautiful sound in the world?' and I swear, I almost swooned.

Thanks for asking, DS is on the mend, doctor said it was a virus that would run it's course and then disappear, and thankfully he was right.

Hope you read this before you go on hols - just wanted to say have a fabulous time and enjoy every minute of knowing there's a little being nestled inside you. By the time you get back from S. Africa you will be two weeks closer to the magic 12 week mark - yay!

JFE - so it's definitely you and me in the 2WW together. Sorry I won't be able to post next week to do some online hand-holding, but I'll be back online on the 15th which will be the day before testing for me (and I think you too if my calculations are correct?)

AFM - well I am beside myself with excitement about going on holidays. Yesterday I managed to finish a massive report I've been working on for the past two months, so I will really be able to enjoy myself without that hanging over my head. I've also been offered another job - within the same organisation, but doing something completely different. The pay is the same, so it's really just a matter of weighing up the pros and cons of each. I have until I return from holidays to decide, so will be doing some thinking over the next week.

2WW is officially underway, I guess I'm feeling ambivalent about it at the moment. It's been 8 months since my last miscarriage and I'm really trying not to dwell on the fact that if that pregnancy had stuck, we would have our second child by now. Instead, I dwell on thoughts of my gorgeous DS and remember when I was 36 and as single as you can get, and had resigned myself to life as a batty old spinster with a bunch of cats.

Anyway wonderful women, must go and do the last of my work tasks.

Take care all, happy holidays to anyone else departing in the next week or so, and talk to you all on the 15th.

Cheers,
Julie

Whooo hoooo.....holidays!
Have a fabulous time Julie - especially since that report is finished - you can let out a bit sigh of relief....and let the body relaxxxxxxxxxx!!

Talk when you get back
Chloe

Hi all

I've been off-line for a few days - been very stressed/anxious and decided to go back to work yesterday only to come home a few hours later. Then did 2 hours today but feeling more calm and settled now.
Just got the final Day 6 results from the lab - we had 4 embryos that hatched which they biopsied and now are snow babies plus 1 that didn't hatch but still a good embryo which they also froze.
Am so relieved - thanks for all your support and encouragement

We have a 4 week wait for the genetic testing - 1 hurdle down and how many more to go??
Cheers
V

JFE hope that expanding blast really expands you big time! Yeh! Love ET - such a wonderfully exciting time! Are you getting to put your feet up for some R&R? What do you have planned as distraction for your TWW? Any festivities coming up that will now require the mocktail as opposed to cocktail?

Ruby how did EPU go? Have you had ET yet? Hope all is going well for you and that you are also in the TWW now being pleasantly distracted.

Chloe yeh, Chloe yeh! Fantastic news from your scan. Are you feeling any better today? You would be packed and ready to head to South Africa by now.

Thank you so much for the posting and obtaining the FS’s name - you are a gem. I really appreciated that.

Have a fabulous time! Will be thinking of you - have a fantastic time! Merry Xmas & Happy New Year!

edited to add - yes, Chloe, DH is to wear his traditional penis gourd - "goolies hanging free" is his description, Bird of Paradise feathers, war paint, the works. What you see is what you get! The good, the bad & the droopy (well we both are over 40) Girls I'll spare you the visual by NOT posting photos. LOL.

Disingenuous thank you for confirming the FS’s name too.

Great to hear that your DS is on the mend so you all can head off to Straddy without that worry. I understand that the er ‘deed’ has already been done but will be keeping an eye on the national news to see if there are any reports of amorous couples romping around Straddie beaches next week. Good luck with the TWW! Have a fantastic time and congratulations on the new job offer - options are always good and it’s great to know you are in demand.

Enjoy your R & R. Will look out for your return before I head OS.

Vessie it can be such a hard slog getting excited then disappointed. The whole difference in cycles from month to month seems to be explained all the time as “just one of those things” (translated from Dr speak to “we haven’t got a clue”) and that is just so frustrating. The waiting is the worst - it can be so excruciating.

Fantastic news on your snow babies & embie! Santa’s listening! Now you get to kick your heels up in NZ over xmas before an FET in the new year - ya hoo! It’s great that you will be keeping busy and distracted during your wait for results. Have a wonderful time in NZ! Merry Xmas & Happy New Year.

AFM very disappointed that our clinic would not book an appointment to discuss our failed cycle or our next cycle until after we get back from OS on the 19th of January. That’s a hell of a long time to chew over unresolved crap in your own mind. I wonder if they realize how 15 minutes of their time could help you immeasurably even if it only meant a better emotional resolution.

Queried any potential tests/further medication because of the failed 2 cycles with the FN just in case we can do something now to start the ball rolling. She checked with the FS then confirmed there would be no changes to our protocols - it would just be a repeat of the last cycle (that was probably not the best way to put it considering the result of last cycle!)

Received a letter in the mail from them on the same day advising that our out of pocket expenses will increase in January by $1500 per cycle. It just keeps getting better! Bring on the holidays! Major attitude adjustment required here in a hurry!

Thank you Ladies for your support and for putting up with me at the moment. I promise, I'm not always a cranky cow and will buck up for next time.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Hi all,
Yes the EPU on Wed went well - ended up with 10 eggs fom 10 follicles, so a good result there.
The embryologist and FS suggested we trial 5 IVF fertilsation & 5 ICSI, just as this was the first go, and hoping it may give us some answers. In the end it did - The 5 which were left to do their thing as nature intended, did nothing. Even with the scientist's selection of the best 'looking' sperm, none of them got through any of the 5 eggs. So this does tell us something.
However, and on the very positive up-side of all of this, the artificially fertilised eggs were all viable and were busily dividing into very healthy little embryos! So we got 5 out of 5 there - and apparently despite normal prediction being a 50% drop off, we had 100% viable embryos at this time.
The embryologist also suggested that the fact that we conceived naturally with DD was an absolute fluke!! As it appears the sperm are just not capable of breaking through the egg's outer layer - either because of my eggs not releasing the right hormones or because the outer pellucidum is just simply too tough. (So don't mess with me, I have tough eggs!) Secretly I also think DH is pleased that his boys aren't to blame!
I had the ET yesterday; at this stage we had 4 out of the 5 ICSI remaining; and had 2 transferred. So yes, I am now on the 2WW with progesterone goop a nightly ritual! - my blood test is scheduled for the 21st, if nothing 'happens' before then... so all fingers and toes crossed for a happy Xmas surprise, and for AF to bugger off for 9 months!.
Thanks for all your kind wishes and support,
ruby

Ruby congratulations on the great numbers and for having 2 embies on board! It must be a relief of sorts to know that by going down the ICSI path you dramatically increase your odds. Knowledge is power. I hope Santa brings you the very best of xmas presents!

Another quick hello!

That's great Ruby09 - they are great stats - as I'm from a research background - I love good stats! And it's always re-assuring if they can give you a possible 'answer' to the infertility.
Like Madonna says - they usually say "It's one of those things" - which made me laugh because in the past I get "It's your age" and I would say "you mean you don't know".

Enjoy!
V

Hi Ladies

Julie and Chloe will be enjoying their holidays right now, lucky buggers!

Ruby, congratulations on the ET, good luck for b/t 21st.

Madonna, when do you leave for your holiday? If this FET doesn't work then we will be cycling together in January.

Vessie, that’s great news you got 4 hatched blast (to get to blast they are strong but to hatch is even better). Boy 4ww, how will you cope? It's hard enough with the 2ww, fingers crossed for positive results.

Yes I have NKC too I also got diagnosed with Factor V (blood thickening); I was diagnosed with blood tests about a year ago after 2 miscarriages. I take 20mg of prednisone and hate the stuff with a passion too, I suffer headaches, insomnia, fatigue etc. What side effects do you get? Clexane I take for the Factor V, I look like a pin cushion and the needles are painful, yuck yuck yuck!

How many fresh IVF cycles have you done and how many transfers in total? I have had 6 fresh cycles and 1 FET (now). My miscarriages were before the IVF (one natural cycle the other IUI), since starting IVF nearly 2 years ago I haven’t been able to fall pregnant at all, its so frustrating!

I'm interested to know more about CGH genetic testing, I will do some research on it. It might be something I need to try as my FS says 80% of implantation failures are due to bad embies.

AFM - waiting waiting waiting for 2WW to be over, b/t is 14 Dec, not confident at all I'm afraid. It's too hard to read the signs and I don't want to set myself up for another fall. Finding it pretty tuff this week, my SIL having baby tomorrow and another friend who did IVF with assisted hatching just found out she is having identical twins (I am very happy for them just down on myself having a why not my turn day).

Have a lovely week girls

Take care

HI girls

JFE - we seem to have a similar history. I also had 2 m/c - 1 natural and 1 IUI. And for the past 2 yrs been on ivf without pregnancy. I have had 5 fresh transfers and 12 FET.

I was just diagnosed with NKC so it will be the first trial of pred. 25mg - I really hope that's the magic pill for me. I initially was tested with a blood test but that came up negative (2 yrs ago with another FS). My current FS doesn't believe in the blood test and I had a uterine biopsy which came up as positive. I get all your symptoms plus aching legs.

I have a clotting factor which I need to take clexane. The needle is horrible - i phoned the pharma company that manufacturers the drug and complained about it.

Have a read about CGH - it's quite interesting. Tell me what you think? I'm not sure where you are located or who you are with? I think in Sydney only SIVF do it.
You need to get to expanding embryo for them to do biopsy. It will be scary getting the results as they all could be bad eggs but best to know than waste time. If there is a good one - then your chances of falling pregnant should be quite high.

Good luck with BT - hopefully you will stop having to do any further research - keep positive.
btw - my SIL is pregnant too!

take care
V

Hi Vessie

I sent you a PM with my FS name, hope I did it right. Let me know if you don’t receive it?

OMG we nearly have identical TTC histories. I had a blood test done close to two years ago after my 2^nd miscarriage and I was boarder NKC with 16% then I had a uterine biopsy in March of this year and results weren’t good it had increased to 22%.

You seem to do ok with blast numbers, I’m lucky to get one or two blast at transfer. I hope the CGH results come back positive for you.

Sorry I’m a bit confused from your post you said that your next cycle will be your first trial of pred 25mg so does that mean that the side effects you have been suffering are from the Clexane? I take prednisone 10mg till EPU then increase to 20mg and start clexane after EPU, I thought it was the prednisone that has been giving me the fatigue and headaches etc but maybe it’s the clexane or a combination of both if your side effects are from the Clexane.

The 2ww is driving me mad, I usually get headaches just before AF and have headaches on and off now, is it AF on the way or side effects from the drugs, breast are slightly tender but probably from the pregnyl and progesterone pesseries who knows ahhhhh. I hate the waiting waiting waiting; to make it worse I have 3 Christmas parties on this weekend and won’t be able to have a drink as b/t is not till Monday. I could so do with a nice glass of red this weekend to de-stress.

I will look into CGH testing and talk to my FS about it, I totally agree scary to get the results but best to know than waste any more time, emotions and $$$. I had a similar experience lately having my ovarian reserve checked as I am a poor responder and I was sweating on the results, all came back good, one positive for me but you are one step ahead of me having the CGH testing. When do you get your CGH results?

If FET doesn’t work then I am planning a new cycle in January and going to try assisted hatching hoping that will help with implantation, has your FS suggested this or do your blast hatch prior to transfer? My friend who is 40 and has been trying for many many years to get pregnant tried assisted hatching on her last IVF cycle, she found out yesterday she is having identical twins.

Hi JFE

No sorry i didn't receive any message.
Yes - I must clarify. Next FET will be first trial of pred at 25mg for TTC. I've previously been on it to control lupus flare (after m/c).

Your symptoms are not clexane related but definitely pred and prog or on the positive side - pregnancy!
It's difficult trying to remain relaxed and festive when you have other issues on mind. Monday will fly around really quickly.

I'm ok with the wait at the moment - CGH results 1st week of Jan. However come closer to the date I will probably go mental. I figure even if the embries are all bad - it's still good to know and plan for next step.

Thinking back, I'm sure most of our embries either begin to hatch/expand before freezing or after thaw. FS has never brought it up with us, I assumed it was just something that happened with all embries at Day5+

take care
V

Vessie - I will have to work out how to PM, will have another go this weekend. ok understand now re prednisone.

I am a poor responder so usually only get one or two to blast and the transfers are usually at 7.30am on day 5 so they are just at blast stage rather than hatching or expanded. Hopefully trying assisted hatching next time will help me with implantation.

Ruby - How is your 2WW going?

Madonna - how are you? Did you get in to see your FS to see what next steps would be for 2010? Did you get in contact with the FS in Brisbane? We will probably be cycling at around the same time in January.

AFM- had my blood test brought forward to today due to the festive Christmas parties I have on this weekend. Glad I did as it’s a BFN, progesterone still high with pesseries so will stop now and hopefully AF will arrive soon. Feeling a little crap and having another why can't it just be my turn and when is the luck going to run my way. I'm starting to think that it’s never going to happen. I have been on DHEA now for 4 months and so by the time my clinic opens again in January and I am ready to do another cycle I will have been on DHEA for 5 months. I’m praying it will make a difference with better quality eggs. Sorry for the miserable post, hate the build up to hit disappointment after disappointment.

Have a lovely weekend all

Hi JFE & all,
Hope you're all doing ok.
Thanks for asking after me. I had reason to call the FN today, after I noted a strange looking discharge. Sorry if this is TMI - perhaps skip this bit if you're shy!!! : but when I woke up I had a funny looking, almost frothy, and orangey-pink coloured creamy VD... So thought I'd best call!
She had only positive things to say, and despite not wanting to give me false or misleading info, did suggest that this is likely to be an implantation sign - esp as it has come exactly one week after ET.
But I understand your feeling JFE - I don't want to get my hopes up; have done that & crashed and burnt for the past 13 months in a row, so it does make ya wary. But it is still hard to ignore all the little cramps and twinges. So fingers crossed.
Best of luck to you for your BT on Mon... I'm the week after.
Take care everyone,
ruby

oh bugger JFE - sorry, I just realised you had the BT today.
So sorry

Hi ya Fab 40's

I hope the festive season is treating you well.

Chloe & Julie, if you are on holidays, hope you're having a brilliant time.

Vessie, sorry I thought you were already off in NZ. When are you due to head off? CGH sounds like it is a logical test to do for all women in our age bracket if it is possible. I'm with you - much better to transfer with high chances of a healthy baby as the outcome.

Ruby OMG, how are you containing yourself?! Ohmmmmmm! Ohmmmmmmm! Ohmmmmmm! ... nup! Still really, really excited for you! Oh Ruby, I hope you have a sticky little pressie from Santa! I will be OS on the 21st when you get your results and without internet access, so will be thinking of you with everything crossed!

JFE I'm so sorry this cycle wasn't your lucky one. It bl**dy sucks! Know that there are huge online hugs being sent your way. I hope you get to enjoy a drink or three with good friends at the xmas parties this weekend and have a rejuvinating xmas break so you can head into your DHEA cycle feeling refreshed and positive about the possibilities (your frozen embie was from an EPU prior to taking DHEA wasn't it?) Does that mean your Frazer Island trip will be during your next TWW?

AFM got our second opinion via email and then phone consult - "a woman my age will not get pregnant using her own eggs" (something like 0.01% chance of sucess). Donor eggs, donor eggs, donor eggs! Makes you wonder why our current FS is taking our money, eh? Why are they more optimistic or is it just that they are pandering to our pie in the sky dreams?

We have an appointment with the Brisbane FS on our return from PNG (we are so grateful for his frankness, for replying on the same day to our email, for offering to chat with us by phone and then squeezing us into an appointment in January when they are already booked out until February for new clients.) Our appointment with our current FS isn't scheduled until the week after that.

We have asked the Brisbane FS to write me a script for DHEA so we can try IVF/ICSI after four months of taking it before giving real thought to donor eggs. I don't know if this is simply delaying the inevitable but I need to know in my own mind that I have exhausted all options I might have with my own eggs first no matter how slim. In the meantime we have also asked the Egg Donor Co-ordinator to send us info to digest. I have to admit I have put my head in the sand over ED because I didn't want to think it would be our only option.

I have a sister 7 years younger than me (38) who has one 7yr old DD and has had a tubal ligation. I'm building up the courage to ask her to consider being our donor. Agewise we would be pushing the limit again but apparently ED is still possible even though a tubal ligation has been performed. However there are 101 really difficult questions that we all need to ask and then answer. If we go down this path it would be great that the genetic heritage is from the same family and we know all the details of it.

The other options are for us to pay for advertisements for an ED wherever possible and then pay to have the enquiries go through an Egg Donor Co-ordinator. The donor could be 'anonymous' (so the child will never know their genetic heritage - known medical heritage is logged though) or 'known' (where it would be an option for the child to have the details of his biological mother (is that the correct term seeing I would give birth - guess I'd be the birth mother?) at 18 yrs of age). I don't know if I'm comfortable living a lie and not telling our child the truth of his/her origins from the start but what would be gained if the donor is anonymous - you're simply introducing life-long uncertainty to a child, a continual "where did I come from?" and I don't think that is fair to the child either (so I think the anonymous option's not looking good at the moment for us).

Aarrgghh! So many questions. DH & I are having all of the moral dilema debates at the moment - it's actually bringing us closer together because some of the discussions are so raw, they have to be, it's a childs future. So we are improving our communication skills big time - out of cr*p can come a lot of good.

On the lighter side of life it's feeling really good to be able to have a glass of wine with my DH. We've got one week to go before heading over to PNG so getting excited and nervous. We're both looking forward to a break and to having some fun in a new environment.

Will be back in to 'see' you all before we head off.

Hi all

JFE - so sorry to hear your news - bugger! It will happen for you - unfortunately we have to go through this horrid process to get there. It just doesn't seem fair.
AT least you were able to numb some of the grief. I also had a a few beverages over the w/e after not drinking for months - it only took me 2 vinos!


Ruby - you have definitely got me excited ......... will keep my fingers crossed for a xmas miracle. I will be in NZ, so all the best.

Madonna - we are in NZ this Sat until 30th. It's always good to get a 2nd opinion - we did after 3 cycles and switch dr's and centres. We have also done the egg donor discussions and even googled potential centres in the USA and Russia/Ukraine where it is legal to buy an egg (anonymous). I don't have a sister or cousin etc.....and I don't think I would feel comfortable with an egg donor from a friend. It's good to do some research into it - it isn't as scary once you have a chat and look at what's involved. I don't think it's that easy to get an egg donor (eg from advertising). Most egg donors are known to the couple.
And it is a never ending dilemna that you go around in circles until you think - it's just much easy for us to keep trying with our own eggs - for a wee bit more.
Good luck!

Cheers and have a lovely week
V

Hi ladies,
Well I'm back from holidays and have just been catching up with all your posts.

JFE - so sorry to hear about your BFN. It really does totally and utterly suck, doesn't it? I am barely finding the energy to keep going, it's just such a grindingly awful thing to have to keep psyching yourself up, month after month, only to be totally devastated again. Sigh. Sorry I don't have any words of wisdom or upbeat responses for you here!

Vessie - we'll all keep virtual vigil with you while you wait until 1st week of January to get your results.

Madonna - so am I right in assuming your second opinion consult was with Dr Deambrosis? Sounds like you got some really honest and useful input from him, I really hope he can help you.

OMG I was cacking myself laughing reading about your description of DH in his wedding ... outfit ... Sounds like you are going to have a ball (pun intended, sorry I couldn't help myself!) and it will be so memorable for you!

AFM - well as you might be able to tell from my personal to JFE, it's a BFN here too. Well actually I didn't even get to testing, AF arrived right on time last night. I had a big cry while DH rubbed my back, and normally that would be enough and I'd be over it. But not this time - I just feel totally devastated and can't see how this is ever going to happen for us. Sigh. I shan't go on ad nauseam, as you all know exactly what I mean.

Apart from all that negativity, we had an awesome holiday - the weather was divine, we stayed in a great place, and we just had a lovely family time together. Back at work today and that was a real shock to the system, but only 8 more work days until Christmas!

Cheers all,
Julie

Julie that really sucks! I'm so sorry to hear that this month was not to be for you too. Sending you heaps of online hugs. I hope that rollercoaster turns real soon for you and has you flying high lovely lady.

Madonna, thanks so much for your kind words, I am feeling a lot better today, again trying to focus on all the positives in my life. I've also decided to be proactive and have made an appointment to see my GP tomorrow so I can be referred to see a counsellor. I really think I need to talk to someone about my feelings and how to manage my emotions a little better. A friend tells me that via the government's mental health plan process, if you are referred by your GP you get 5 free visits to a counsellor/psych, so I figure why not use the resources that are there.

Ruby - I missed you out in my previous post, sorry. Just wanted to say I really, really hope your TMI frothy mucous is a positive sign and you'll be our next BFP recipient!

Cheers all,
Julie

Hi

Julie - it's not easy dealing with your emotions and it does help to talk to a professional. I also saw a clinical psych (thru GP referral) and she was brilliant. Good thing is when you go thru GP, you get to see a very clinical psychologist rather than a less qualified counsellor/psychologist.

Ruby - how you going?

take care fab 40s
V

Julie good on you for taking affirmative action. Any help to put your mind at ease also has a positive spin off by helping to put your body in a better place too.

8 more sleeps until Santa comes!

Hi all,
Vessie and Madonna - thanks for the words of support, it means a lot. I saw my GP yesterday, we had a big chat and he said he believes I am suffering from a mild form of anxiety. He's referred me to a psychologist who specialises in women's issues, so I will ring this morning and make an appointment. He also suggested I may benefit from acupuncture, so has referred me to another GP who specialises in accupuncture. So today, I'm feeling good because I'm doing something proactive about getting this train back on the tracks!

How is everyone else going?? Ruby, any news?

Cheers,
Julie

Julie - I'm a new convert to acupuncture - love it, I hope you do to! I always feel better after a session. At the very least it's 20 minutes mandatory "lay down, stay still, do nothing time" (have even fallen asleep I relaxed so much). In addition to treating anxiety they can treat the body to enhance fertility and conception at the same time. Win win Julie! I always feel like I've just had a facial or a massage after acupuncture - pampered!

Vessie - have a great NZ trip while those good little frosties of yours do their thing!

JFE - hope you are in a good place, chickadee and that the DHEA kicks in for your EPU in January.

Ruby - the suspence is killing me! You must be beside yourself! I hope all is fabulous with you!

Chloe - I hope you're simply blooming and that South Africa was amazing!

Ladies will be thinking of you all - especially at Christmas & New Year. You are amazing people. Thank you for your friendship and support this year. We're off tomorrow night so will be looking forward to catching up with you on our return on January 13.

Good luck for the next month Fab 40's! Merry Xmas & Happy New Year!

Madonna, have a fantastic trip, hope your wedding ceremony is amazing, and please, post some photos for us when you get back!! Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Julie

Hi All,
Well, despit our best efforts, we had a BFN BT on Wed am.
I started bleeding rather heavily on Mon night, and well, you know the rest. Despite the FN telling me that IF my AF was to arrive, it would more than likely arrive late, it was about 5 days early!! And what a whopper !!!
Anyway, the 2 emby's done on first ET didn't make it; and neither did the other 2 we expected to go into 5-star freezer accommodation. They all had 3 heads apparently... so cest la vie.
The disappointing thing is that we started with 10 eggs from 10 follicles (9 mature), and yet 2 weeks later have ended up with none left.
We are being philosophical and recognising that the first IVF cycle has been diagnostic for us. So I guess, with next EPU scheduled for late Jan '10, we can now look forward too ALL the eggs having ICSI, so we maximise our return there.
We are fine, I am fine, just occasionally a little teary. But honestly, I think it's more the artificail hormone let-down than an emotional response, as I am truly feeling very pragmatic and hopeful.
I am still yet to speak directly with the Lab though, as I do want to know if there was any HcG at all in my BT, so as to determine if any implantation happened. I also checked with my FS about why this clinic chooses Day2 ET, and not Day5, and she had some interesting info on that. I have a great article I can share on embryo fragmentation too if anyone is so inclined to read research and journal articles on this stuff.
Take care all, Thanks again for all your kind wishes
will be in touch
HAPPY XMAS TO ALL,
ruby

Oh Ruby, so sorry to hear that you got a BFN ... I think that makes all of us BFNs for this month. Sigh. Sounds like you are dealing with it ok, good on you. I guess all we can do is be philosophical, chalk it up to experience, and keep on moving on the ttc path.

I'm counting on 2010 being a brilliant year for all of us. Chloe will be getting fatter and hopefully we'll all be not too far behind her!

Cheers,
Julie

Hey there ladies,
Happy new year to all! Anyone else back from holidays?? It's my first day back at work, I just can't believe that my holidays are over and I have the whole working year stretching ahead! Yuck.

Can't wait to hear all your stories ... Chloe, how are you feeling? Madonna, how was the wedding? JFE, are you on your next cycle? Ruby, how are you going after missing out last cycle? Vessie, where are you at?

AFM - I'm 6DPO today, I ovulated naturally again and DH and I gave it our best shot, so fingers crossed something good will come of it! I just realised that if I do get pg now I will be 41 by the time the baby arrives ... yikes. Lucky I am such a wicked hot mumma

We had a really lovely Christmas, DS went nuts ripping up all the wrapping paper, and of all the hundreds of dollars he had spent on him, his prized gift was a $12 crappy plastic toy car. I scored amazingly well, DH and I write lists for each other to buy gifts from, I had 7 possible choices on my list and DH bought them all!! So I got a goregous new red handbag, a bottle of Coco Chanel, earrings, a bracelet, makeup, a CD and some sports socks! I think I'll keep DH for at least another year