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24/11/2008, 06:07 AM
ive been up since 3am with my 2 week old baby girl she just wont settle
she seems so over tired and very fidgedity she cries as if hungry i feed her then she cries while feeding and keeps asking for more i burp her she calms then gets cranky 5 mins later
she had a bit of reflux but has gone and that didnt settle her while im typing this ive calmed her with hair dryer noises of u tube wich she seems to be getting over rather quickly
problem is i cant just relax once shes fallen alseep its 7am and my 23mth ld will be waking up at any time i dont know how im going to handle this
, shes becoming such a fussy baby and i cant have that as i have a toddler to also entertain, how do mothers juggle this and get enough rest? i cant be a walking zombie its to dangerous it puts there lives at risk. i only got to bed at 12am so i only got 3 hrs sleep (not by choice toddler wouldnt go to bed )
im so scared im just going to slowly fizzle away and become this walking half asleep b**ch and i cant become that as im already going thru enough stress with my partner if it gets worse my whole family will fall apart
shes only 2 weeks old if im fraking out now what does the future hold? woman with even more then 2 u guys are super woman.
24/11/2008, 06:09 AM
Soory no advice only support as im struggling with just one! Are you sure she doesnt have silent reflux - it was that that was making my bub extremely unsettled?? Hopefully some people will have some advice for you
24/11/2008, 07:15 AM
I know that you may be against the idea, but what about a dummy??? DD2 was constantly hungry and had a bit of silent reflux and thought she was hungry, but she wasn't.. But once she would accept a dummy it was a different story..
Also by week 3-4 I had to start FF as my milk was not doing the job for her.. But I also use to co-spelt with her (and I hate doing that, but I did hold her whilst sleeping) just so I could get some sleep, to deal with DD1 during the day..
I also am quite firm with DD1 about bedtime as I don't believe in her telling me when she wants to go to bed.. If I have to stand at the door and it takes me an hour, even if holding DD2 than I will until she falls asleep.. She goes to bed at 8pm and I make her start to calm down and sit on the lounge at 7.30pm.. If she moves and starts playing up than I take her straight to bed, so she realises that mummy and daddy are not going to put up with it.. DD1 does not sleep through the day and has not done so before she 18months.. If your little one does have a day sleep through the day are you able to also have a sleep??
Have you also explained to your partner how you are feeling and that you don't mean to snap but you are not getting enough sleep??? My DH would always comment and I am sorry to say that I am not ever nice whilst pregnant and it bugs me that people think that you can control your emotions whilst pregnant, cause I sure as hell couldn't..
I hope this helps, but this is how I have learnt to deal with it and it does get a bit better.. Big hugs to you and I hope you feel alot better..
24/11/2008, 02:45 PM
I've only got one kid but had a few thoughts while I read your post. It sounds like you are having a rough time of it and need some suggestions to help YOU cope:
- Try and talk positively to yourself: You WILL cope with very little sleep (and a lot of coffee
) for quite some time if you have to. This is just a phase and your DD2 is only very little. Do whatever you have to do right now to get through it. Remember: "This too will pass".
- What are you doing while DD2 is awake in the middle of the night? Are you keeping yourself distracted with TV or an i-pod or focussing on stressful thoughts?
- How do you normally relax for bed? Can you read for a while or watch TV to help you get back to sleep?
- Perhaps you could try doing some relaxation exercises like deep breathing or meditation.
Just a thought but it does sound like you have A LOT of worries. Could it be possible that you still have post-pregnancy blues. Could it be possible that you have PND? If your worries continue on for much longer, perhaps it might be worth talking to a doctor about it.
Good luck and hang in there.
24/11/2008, 02:57 PM
get as much practical help from any-one you can at the moment, with no.2, housework, cooking, anything, get partner to take over some no.1 routines, anything to survive this most tiring time.
New baby = unsettled at night = normal, esp 11pm-4am, then settle and sleep better after day feeds. They are back to front with day and night. It will pass! Hang in there. Regular feeds <4hrly in day and demand at night, expose b to lots of daylight.
Try not to look for illness reasons for unsettled behavior, bub is so young and crying tends to accelerate and peak at about 6 weeks of age, 2-3 hours crying each 24 hours! Average!
All babies are different and yours sounds pretty usual, get help, physical and emotional support, you will all get through this phase, its just such a shock to the system! Get some rest if not sleep. Best wishes mummy!
24/11/2008, 02:58 PM
Sounds like you have a handful this time around. If you're worried, definitely get her checked by a doctor for reflux etc, but chances are they won't find anything and it'll just be "colic" (ie unexplained crying).
It does sounds like you have already found some good soothing techniques - burping, suckling, hair dryer. That's good news - it means you can calm her down. Now to keep her there.
Can you play some sort of white noise near her as she sleeps? Hair dryer/white noise CD/vaccuum cleaner? It would need to be loud enough to calm her and quiet enough for you to sleep.
Dummy may help to settle her as PP said, or help her find her fingers.
Are you wrapping her? A wrap may help her stay calm after you have settled her, so you can put her down and sleep.
Do you have a swing or bouncer to provide movement in her sleep? (Whilst you sleep.)
Does she sleep better in your bed? DS slept beside me for the first couple of months... otherwise nobody would have slept.
Don't forget - your baby is used to a womb environment which provides all these things - noise, movement, secure, hugging feeling. Some babies don't do cold turkey very well. Don't be afraid to wean her off these things slowly, over a period of months, rather than all at once during the first weeks of life.
ETA: I would try all the above techniques all at once, not just one at a time, for max effect. Also, have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block?
YOU WILL BE OK! have you got someone to help you out so you can get some sleep?? the first 6 weeks with DD was a nightmare (we had a bad time bfing then when we switched to formula we found she was lactose intolerant - so much fun) I'm sure if you can get some time out you will be ok - I remember that feeling!! You're doing great with a toddler and a newborn (I think we all block out those first few weeks)
is it possible that its either reflux or a lactose intolerance? I know its hard when you haven't slept yourself and I think they sense that too... do you have a close friend or a family memeber that can come and give you a bit of time out
24/11/2008, 09:23 PM
You poor thing ... hang in there. Those first few weeks are crazy.
When my DD#2 was just new I would feed her to sleep then I'd have to hold her for at least 10 minutes before putting her into her bed otherwise she'd wake again. Otherwise maybe a sling might help? My babies always fell asleep when wearing them.
As beabea mentioned babies are used to the womb environment, so spoil them as much as you need to at least until they are 3 months old.
Your baby will be relaxed if you are relaxed. You have a 23 month old, so you've done this before - you can do it!
All the best, and don't be afraid to ask friends and family for help - washing, shopping etc.
24/11/2008, 09:47 PM
I hope you got some rest today. If she was up since 3 am I would guess she is very over tired.
One of my guys is like that if he doesn't sleep. I would wrap her nice and snugly in a dark quiet room with a lullaby CD. Do you use a dummy?
I know toddlers push the limits when you have a new baby. Maybe your DH can take over bedtime duty and get the toddler to bed by 7ish.
I know when I had the twins and even now still, I go to bed early if I need sleep it is the only way to catch up. I have been known to be in my PJs and ready for bed at the same time as the kids
Another thing to try put the t/shirt nightie you wore today under them (stretched like a sheet) under them in the bassinet/cot. Smelling mum is a trick that has worked for me especially with two babies.
Best of luck the first few weeks are a blur I hope it gets better quickly for you,
Life is a little crazy
24/11/2008, 11:47 PM
I hear you and I totally understand what you are going through as I am currently going thru the same thing...
MY dd is nearly 10 weeks old and is shocking she is awake from 11pm-5am and I have a 15 year old and 2.5yr old and am so sleep deprived its unreal...I find she is fairly good thru the day, I think she is so exhausted from being up all night - I use the swing and vibrating bouncer which has been a god sent. But I am also finding it hard to attend to the needs of the other two...and then when do I get some sleep....
My maternal nurse reckons she has silent reflux in which I agree, she had been on Gaviscon and honestly hasnt helped, so she said needed to go to the next step, so I went to the dr, he wouldnt prescribe me anything and gave me a referral to Peds, rang around and the wait was several weeks to months to get an appointment one recptionst said if gets too much take her to rch, in which last night I decided enough was enough cant live on 3 hrs sleep anymore. Saw the peds and they gave me a script so will see how things go in the next few weeks, hopefully all will work out.
Just hang in their and pm me if you want to chat.....
25/11/2008, 10:00 PM
You poor thing! Lack of sleep can do terrible things.
I had an awful time from the time my baby was born until she was about 8 weeks old.
I ended up staying with my Mum for two weeks because I thought I was going crazy. My poor DH didn't know what to do with me.
It turned out my baby was hungry as my milk never came in properly due to me hemorrahging during labour. I was breast feeding, then doing formula top ups and then expressing and then it was almost time to start again. So on top of the baby starving (and crying constantly) I wasn't getting barely any sleep by trying to get my milk to come in fully. We thought she had reflux and had all the medication to go until someone said to me that they thought she was hungry, so I gave her more formula feeds and she was like a different baby.
All I can say is that it really does start to get easier from about 8 weeks I think. After I got to that point, each week got easier and easier as my baby got more and more settled. I also made a decision to fully formula feed at about 10 weeks with a couple of extra breast feeds during the day until my milk dried up last week.
I know how you feel and it is a terrible way to be. I know how hard it is to try to sleep when someone tells you too as you just can't switch off - so all I am going to say is -hang in there for a few more weeks - there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have no idea how hard it is with a two year old as well as a newborn though and can't even imagine if I would cope with two.
Take care of yourself.
(By no means am I trying to tell you to formula feed, I am just giving you my story so please no abuse from anyone that disagrees with formula feeding. I had no choice in the matter due to my labour being an awful one)
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