Hi

I am after some advice/ help

My dd has been fully toilet trained day and night since she was 2years old.

In the last week, she has been constantly pooing in her pants, i am pretty sure it is an attention seeking thing. she has never ever been like this before, and i am unsure of what to do.

I have asked her if she has a sore tummy, and she doesnt, i am just at my wits end, i always tell her i love her, and she doesnt get told off if she poo's we just simply tell her she needs to remember to go to the toilet.

She even pooed her pants at kindy yesterday.

She has said to me once or twice lately that i dont love her, my reply to that is that i love her very very much.

My ds is 15 weeks old, and babies do take a lot of time, so i am thinking that this is the issue. I dont know what to do about it, my hubby works very long hours, sometimes 6 days a week, and often away, so a lot of the time its just me and the kids.

Thanks,

Bec

Is it just little bits at a time?
If so this can be a symptom of constipation. As a blockage can occur and the muscles get weak. So you can get leakage coming out around the blocked waste. (Mmmm bad mental pics, sorry)
If it's normal bowel movements I would put it down to the bub getting attention and she is trying to tell you it's upsetting her. If this is the case I would have a really up front chat to her and reflect on her behaviour and help her to process her emotions.
You could try "I have noticed you seem sad at the moment. I know its hard sharing my time, I would feel sad too."
Normalise it for her and discuss the emotions she may feel.
Preschoolers need lots of time and opportunity to process their emotions. They often feel misunderstood.
You could setting up some dolls or animals in a quiet area for her to act out some of these issues. Do you have a dolls house? You could buy a little family of dolls from a toy shop and talk to her about them. You could even make some by cutting little figures out with paper and sticking them on icepole sticks from the $2.00 shop.

I am a Kinder teacher...these are some things I would try.

A book of feelings helps too. You can go with her to choose a scrapbook. This can be a place for her to draw happy pics or sad pics and you can write down words for her. This can be an effective tool also.

Good luck...hope I haven't rambled.

Oh, I'd ask the Kinder teacher for some support or ideas. Ask her whats happening with your daughter in the Kinder group.

Thankyou those ideas are great.

Sometimes its a little bit, othertimes its huge. She even pooed in the bath the other day, which isnt normal for her either.

I even thought about trying to get bubs babysat for a few hours and taking her out somewhere special like the movies or something.

I was a little hesitant to talk to her kindy teachers, as i feel like its my fault and im a bad mum.

thanks again

Please try not to feel this way. You will find by talking to people about it that it's very common for young children to change their behaviour when a new bub comes into your home and lives. You are not alone.

My son is currently dealing with some jealousy probs with DD. SOME DAYS IT DRIVES ME MAD and I feel bad because I think I should know better having a qualification in Early Childhood Ed. But the biggest lesson I've learnt is parenting is challenging for everyone and you can only do your best on the day.

Hope it resolves itself soon!

Is your daughter eating more than usual lately? I find that with DD#2, when she's having a growth spurt or whatever it is that's causing her to eat more, this when she tends to have toileting accidents (she'll be 3 next month). It's almost as if the growth hormones scramble her brain.

Just a thought.

Hi

No, she isnt eating more than usual, but thanks for the thought.

Take Care

Bec