I have 2 1/2 yr old twins. One of which is a good sleeper the other has never slept through the night.

They are in separate rooms and the bad sleeper is now in a bed as he threw himself out of his cot at 18 months old.

They both go to bed at 7.30pm every night without much drama; both also have a day nap at 12pm for approx 2 hrs.

I'm not prepared to give up the day sleeps yet as they still both need it.

DS (The problem sleeper) wakes on average two times a night. Often he would end up in our bed and Dh in his. We broke this habit amongst others, such as feeds at night.

However, just when we think we are on track for a good nights sleep, DS gets a cold or some other illness and we are back to square one with the demands for feeds or comfort.

It's a yoyo life. From day one we have tried everything from sleep school, CC, weaning, etc. But two and a half years later there really has been no achievement in sleep.

So, with sleep deprived parents who are constantly sick because of lack of rest we are giving in and going with the flow on whatever the little man demands in the hope he will one day grow out of this habit. I hope that one-day is soon!

From experience, do they grow out of it or should we continue the battle for sleep?

I'm exhausted and don't know what else to do. Please, any advice will be appreciated.

Hi. Sorry, but i wont be of much help to you, but understand what you are going through
We also have a 'non-sleeper', tried pretty much everything too, although havent tried cc. She is 3, 4 in August.
We had a while there where she was sleeping a decent amount each night and we were feeling human again but all that changed when she started Kinder this year.
She is back to waking usually twice a night, sometimes less or more.
Every night she tells me she will get a good nights sleep and see me in the morning light, but she wakes up, usually 5 or so hours later. Last night she woke before i'd had a chance to get to bed myself. She ended up in our bed at 2am and my DH went into hers with a sleeping bag, and she still had trouble getting to sleep even though she was in with me.

I have been to the MCHN and to the Dr very recently and niether of them was much help. The MCHN was no help-she's lovely and very supportive but she said her son was the same as my DD, always on the go and soaking everything up but hard to wind down and stay asleep. (my DD will go to sleep easily most nights). She basically said just to ride it out or do 'whatever works' for us to all get some sleep.

My Dr suggested putting another bed/matress in her room so that when DD wakes i coud try and resettle her, if that's what we want to do, and if she wakes again for me to put her back to bed then i would sleep in the spare bed in her room. That way it would reinforce her sleeping in her own bed. She also said "she[DD] is the only one in the house not sleeping with someone else-plus she's away from her mum for the first time as well [kinder]". Kinda makes sense but doesnt make things any easier.

We are most of the time trying to settle her back in her bed when she wakes, which works ok when i am not too tired. Plus, i can only do that twice a night usually and then im tired and grumpy and just want to sleep, so twice is usually the limit, sometimes 3 times and then it's eiother i jump in woith her of she comes in with us etc.. not ideal but i think we need to be not completely sleep deprived to tackle the resettling.

We used to use a reward type chart where she would receive a stamp and sticker in the morning if she slept through etc etc. but havent done that for about 2 months. might make another one this week sometime and see if that helps. we tried the dream fairies-they worked for a few days or so but then even a reward the next morning waiting in a special bag wasnt enough. I dont think [with DD] that it's something she can control. anymore anyhow. not sure if she could control it earlier on and now it's a big habit or what.

sorry for rambling on so much. i have held off posting in this section about her sleep habits for so long-usually just have a whinge in the country mum's board
there's probably a lot i have missed, and i am sure i havent given you much advice at all but hope it helps to know that there is someone else out there tonight with their wakeful child.
I have to say though, my DD is brighjt and happy, and doesnt seem to suffer too much till she banks up a bit of night waking then she seems to sleep for a longer stretch. then the night waking starts again. I think maybe she needs a few nights of good sleep to start up good sleep patterns again.
and also, my DD hasnt had a regular day sleep since about 19 months.
I am pretty tried right now so hopefully this post has mande some sense and it hasnt come out the wrong way.

Hope you get some sleep tonight!

My DD is turning 3 in August and has always been a terrible sleeper.

Things really started to turn around (ie: reliably sleeping for a few hours in a row) when we consciously started increasing the percentage of protein in her evening meal. We give it to her *after* her bath (seems weird I know, but the closer to bedtime the better) and we have a fairly regular, reliable routine for bed. We give her a Swisse Child vitamin 1 (I think, maybe it's 2) which has some calming herbs in it and is only to be given at night (chamomile and something else).

Either DH or myself put her down in her bed (a double bed mattress on the floor). If she wakes for resettling I'll go in and see her.She also knows that when the ligth goes out it is only singing, no talking. We have a potty in her room even though she hasn't used one for 6mths or so because it stops having to take her out into the toilet at night if she wakes for a wee.

Once we go to bed I take the monitor into our bedroom. When she needs resettling during the night (only once now *cross finger* *touch wood* anything else as well!) I turn off the monitor for DH, go in and just lie with her until morning. It works a treat! She doesn't wake up then until it's morning. We have always co-slept and this is a wonderfully gentle method for getting her used to sleeping on her own that has worked so well for us. Have to say that buying a $250 double bed mattress may be your best investment for a good night's sleep (and let's face it if you're sick and run down you're probably paying much more than that atm anyway).

Hope some of this helps. Like PP, I also hesitate to mention her sleeping issues but if anything I wrote can help it's good.

Cheers, Cass

Good morning Beadie & Spawn,

I managed to get a reasonable sleep last night by co-sleeping with DS in my bed, and Dh in DS's bed. So I feel human this morning

Both your posts were a breath of fresh air for me. You have given me some great tips to try, or at the very least to just accept this is how things will be for a while and to not feel so anxious and worked up about it.

I only recently bought both DS & DD new beds; both trundle beds for the purpose of if need be we can lie near them to re-settle at night. However now I wish I had of just bought them both a queen size bed
Mind you, DD will not sleep in her bed and prefers her cot still, and I'm not arguing because she is at least sleeping through the night to the point I have to wake her in the morning. That's one blessing.

I nodded in agreement to both your posts, and understand completely how you both feel. It’s nice to know this is relatively normal behavior for some toddlers.

I wish you both and your families good sleep in the near future. Thank you again!

Great to hear! Bummer about the trundle beds. I think the problem a lot of people have with sleep issues is that they make it a battle that needs to be 'won' by getting their child to sleep in a way that they think they should (ie: like an adult). As we know though from our experiences, some children just don't sleep like that!

I always think to myself, when frustrated or stressed out about sleeping stuff that as long as I support and help my DD with getting to sleep, the longer lasting and more meaningful her sleep will be when it finally settles into a routine. You hear of so many parents who try a lot of things that only have short term efefcts - when really all that our children usually want is us to lie with them, it's just that it's a major inconvenience to us!

Glad to hear that last night went well.
Cheers, Cass

Hi Girls,
I'm intruding into your topic to ask (as a mother of a 9 month old with sleep problems) do you think you should have done something when they were younger (and please don't think I'm being rude or putting you down when I ask - I am genuinely interested) Or did you try different things but they still had issues? I'm pretty much just going with the flow in the hope that it will get better (still feeding through the night, resettling with a dummy, cuddle, whatever it takes). However, after reading this topic I am wondering if I may need to do a something a bit more assertive (as much as I don't want to). The last 9 months have been exhausting and thank goodness I'm not at work, I cannot imagine still doing this in a years time (or 2 years for that matter).

Once again girls, please don't think I am being rude or insensitive when I ask. You guys have been there and I'm curious to know.

thanks
Jo

Hi Spawn,

guess what, they are both refusing their day nap at the moment So rather than get my nickers in a knot, I'm just going with the flow. I will try again in half an hour. At the momnet it's quiet time with a book whilst I eat my lunch and eb time. Ahhh, every day and night is unpredictable.

Jo1172 - Like yourself I didn't attempt anything until the twins were about 9 months old on "expert advise" from gp's MCHN and numerous books.
I don't know if it would have made a difference to today, but from mine and others experience, a childs sleeping pattern changes all the time. For example with teething, illness, growth spurts and development. So no two children are alike and so what works for one may not work for another, as I have found with my twins.

Good luck, I know how tough it is

Hello girls. Glad you had some ok sleep last night DataLife!
We had a wake up at 3am when she ran full pelt into our room and jumped inthe middle. I had turned the heater on in her room lst night for the first time this year, thinking that it would help her to sleep longer. Not sure whether it did help, or, it was the fact that my Mum played with DD for 2.5 hours yesty arvo mostly outside Better than me waking at 1.30am then again at 3.30am though.

You are so lucky your DD is still in the cot! Mine started climbing out of hers just at about 2.2years.

Im thinking we wouldve been better off to do what you have done Spawn, but it's too late now as we dont have room for another mattress in DD's bedroom and i think she would totlly freak out if we were to take her single bed out of the room. I was thinking of borrowing a fold up camper bed from my parents and setting that up at night in DD's room.
Or, i will just keep lying in her bed if she wont go back to sleep easily of her own accord.

I think, like Spawn said, some kids are just 'like this' as far as sleep goes. I have searched many websites, read heaps of books, asked health professionals, and other mums etc etc, and when it comes down to it, no-one knows my child like i do and i have to do what is right/working for my child. I have tried heaps of different things but she seems to respond to the security of having mum there-which is natural hey.
Other people can only tell me/you from their own experiences, but works for them might not for you. Dont think i am actually answering your question properly jo1172 am i?
No, I dont think there is anything we couldve done earlier that wouldve helped her to sleep better/longer now b/c as DataLife said, they change according to what is happening with the at the time. DD had terrible trouble with teething pain which affected her sleep. If she is getting a cold or sick, which thankfully hasnt happend much, but her sleep is way out of whack again.
I just wrote a whole heaps of stuff but deleted it. It was just a few things that the hospital 'told me to do' that may have hindered her getting those longer stretches of sleep in the first few months. She has always been one of those kids that likes mummy around though.

Hope your kids are having a nice afternoon & have great sleeps tonight DataLife

Hi beadie!

Well, at least you only had to get up once last night, that's an improvement....for now

My two are still up, happy playing whilst I've managed to tend to most of my household chores. Just having a chocolate & eb break.

I did try to get them to nap again but without success, so I'm hoping it will be an early night and a straight sleep through. One can dream

I have a friend coming over soon with her twins for a play, so hopefully my two are up for it and not too tired. It should be interesting.

I feel more relaxed now, as I'm still going to just give in and follow their lead when it comes to sleep. Who knows who's bed I will end up in tonight? I just hope the sleep issues don't get worse and I'm not adding to more drama's down the track. All I know is I NEED SLEEP TOO to be a good parent.

Happy zzzzzzz's Datalife

OMG.....DS is asleep on the couch. He finally bombed out. DD is still playing about.

Hi

I could have written the OP. My twins are almost 2 1/2 and I also have one DD who sleeps through most nights and another who wakes every night. Like you I have tried everything, read a hundred books, spoken to doctors, nurses etc
Basically I have given up and every night I drag the spare mattress into her room and make it up. When she wakes I just go from my bed to that one on her floor. She settles straight away and I go back to sleep. This has been going on for about 6 months now and I cop a bit of flack from well meaning friends and family about it - but you know as well as I do how hard it is to get through the day with 2 toddlers and no sleep. Honestly do what works for you - I don't care where I end up sleeping as long as I am getting enough

Haven't been much help really but know that you are not alone and we will get a full nights sleep again...one day (wont we??)

Moochie

Hi Moochie,

You really do understand where I am coming from.

I have found from giving in and either having my son sleep in my bed if he wakes in the night or pulling out the trundle bed and sleeping in his room, we all get a resonable nights sleep and are able to function through out the next day.

However last night DD woke at 4am (The child that I boasted about sleeping through the night) and so it was musical beds last night for all four of us.

I can cope with one child waking through the night, but two is a challenge I'm not too well prepared for.

It has to get better one day.......I hope