Hi Gals

I hope you can help.
I really have the guilts about returning to work after have DS 6months ago. I dont have to return until beginning of the new year but i am feeling already totally ill in the stomach. He will only be 9mths when he starts.

Did anyone else feel this way and how did you deal with it?

I have to return as it is great money and would put us ahead, but if i didnt return we would just bearly scrape through with my loan repayments.

Part time isnt available (maybe short term but not for ever).Plus i would still be leaving him in care.

Would be great to hear back from mums.

Cheers

Hi,

I had to return to work PT when DS was 4 months old. It was a 'take it or leave it' situation and I couldn't afford to pass up on a job.

I felt really guilty but the things that have helped me have been:

1. A supportive partner who hasn't pressured me to go FT straightaway even though that would have brought in more money. He's also been very supportive in making sure I can keep BF-ing our son, taking over some of my chores to let me relax and express. He also works a halfday at the weekend so he can look after our DS for 1 morning per week, meaning our DS is in childcare for 2 days per week instead of 3.

2. A childcare centre that is caring and happy and the staff are very involved and spend a lot of time talking with us and keeping us updated on our DS's progress every day. I feel like it's an extra part of home and my DS is happy there.

3. Making sure I'm at work no earlier than 9 and out no later than 5 and spending time with my DS over the silly little house jobs that I used to stress over.

4. Having the luxury of my DH being able to take time off when I go FT in 6 week's time so that our DS doesn't go to fulltime daycare until he's 1.

If you have support at home and a good quality childcare place that you and your child feel comfortable in I think a lot of your guilt will subside.

Good luck!

I think all mothers feel guilty about something at some stage. Good quality childcare goes a long way towards easing the pain for me - in fact, at some stages, I've felt I was working just so I could keep my children with a particularly good centre or carer.

Kristen

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b2.lilypie.com/jCz1p10" alt="Lilypie Baby Ticker" border="0" /></a>

I felt exactly the same and still do. I returned to work full time when my boys were 4 months old and it was so hard. I was in tears constantly but it was something we had to do. My work has recently allowed me to work 3 days per week which is great. Think of all the positives to you working and i thought of a few when i went back to work:
a) that the time you spend with your bub is quality time as you really look forward to it and make the most of every minute IYKWIM
B) you are working for your child's future - you are not working for yourself... that is what i thought
c) you are having adult stimulation - this is something i really needed as i was going a bit batty!

It is really hard to work (as there is not enough hours in the day to do everything), but unfortunately for some of us it is a necessary evil!

Rach :-)

Rach (26) & BJ (35)
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Hi
I still have regular moments of guilt and I have been back at work since april. My best 2 pieces of advice are make sure you are happy with the care your son will be getting - I love DD's daycare centre, I know she is well looked after and enjoys it and make some short term goals and work towards them. Mine for example is that I have 2 more years until our top up home loan is paid then DP and I are hoping to have another child after which I will only return to work PT.
Also 1 more thing try even if it is only for the short term to even work 4 days a week - it helps to ease everyone into the situation (I sometimes think I need more easing than Maddison LOL).
If you have to work, you have to work, by working your consolidating your debts and providing a solid future for you son.
Take care
Shelly

Forgot to mention the importance of finding a care provider or centre that you are satisfied with. My boys were in fdc for 2 weeks and i wasn't too happy with it, so i found a nanny who looks after them now. She is fabulous, they adore her and they can stay in our house. If i didn't find her i seriously think i would have of stayed at home (despite financial pressures) because i couldn't stand the boys being somewhere that i wasn't happy with.

Rach :-)

I returned to work when DD was about 3 months and felt very guilty initially. After seeing how much her carers LOVED her and seeing the other children in care interacting with her, I knew that she was being well looked after and I could focus on work during work hours and make my time with her as special as possible. I think at times, some of the guilt I felt was from other mothers, those who didn't think I should return to work and couldn't believe that I wasn't going to be a SAHM. At the time, our financial and working interests required me to return to work but I got frustrated having to justify my reasons to others - I stopped doing it after a while.
After the initial *shock* of being back at work, the guilt you feel will lessen significantly, once you see that your child still sees you as their number one carer and provider and loves you still the same.

Kath