Hi guys,

A friend of mine phoned me a few weeks ago (I have been slack in posting this) to ask me what topics related to motherhood and babies do us mothers want to learn more about? She is currently working in conjunction with a local MACH nurse to possibly set up some regular information sessions with trained health proffesionals, MACH nurses, midwives,dieticians, nutritionists, other mothers etc to provide this service to mums in Canberra.

So, what things, anything, would be of interest to us and who would be interested in this kinda of service?

The things I want to know more about are:

*Solids and allergies etc
*balancing work and family life
*relationships after children

umm...someone else???



Mel
DH - Tim
DS - Ayden born 06.04.05 - 9.1oz 4.1 kilos

I would like to know more about:
# toddler tantrums and how to handle them when out and about in public (because there isn't a naughty mat when you are in the grocery aisle!)
# Getting your child to eat the nutritious food that you have slaved over for the last hour before she spits it on the floor.
# Pooing in the bath tub with water restrictions... is it OK to just scoop it out? LOL Just kidding.
(Can you tell I've had my hands full today?)

yeah, definitely more toddler stuff - behaviour techniques etc. how to cope with 2. (or 3 LOL) how to even get to a clinic apmt to find out all this stuff

I also after info on food...the what and how of it all. 16 mo DD
used to eat brocoli, but now just the sight of it results in a
startling fast grab and throw manouevre. This is the same for
any vege (regardless of colour) at the moment and it is
driving me nuttso!

The tanties are just starting so I'll need to know more about
this soon too :-(

Thanks.

Hmmm i think that all the stuff people have already mentioned is great. I am thinking a little more alternative.
Benefits of breastfeeding longer than 12 mths (i find most people have no idea about the WHO guidelines) This would also link nicely to the solids and allergies discussion.
Alternatives to CC, at Ngunnawal clinic they do offer alternatives which is great they even showed me a video with someone wearing their baby. I think it would be great if more people knew there were alternatives.
Cant think of anything else right now will be back if i do.

Carol 34 DH Milton 41
DD Taylor 6/9/93
DS Ethan 30/6/02
DD Brielle 31/12/04 Mosaic Down Syndrome <ahref="http://www.snugglepie.com"><img border="0" src="http://www.snugglepie.com/ezb/122702.png"></a>

* Toilet Training!

Will be back more with more later I'm in abit of rush this morning Mel

Susana & DH Chris[size=1] aka GoateeCat
DD Delia Jade 13/11/02 & DS Darcy Cole 2/11/04

hmm, so many!

how to deal with the isolation you feel as a new mum and real discussions about what its like. PND seems to be covered but what about when its not PND but you feel overwhelmed by your new role?

'debriefing' after your birth. Mine was pretty traumatic and I have a lot of mixed feelings about it and have never spoken to anyone. I don't feel right about taking up resources for women with PND who need them but I'd like someone to say 'that sucked, want to talk about it?'

how to network and meet other mums (especially when you have never really been the 'mum' type!) and playgroup freaks you out :-)

like unique_gem I'd like to see alternatives to controlled crying and more discussion about co-sleeping/baby wearing that doesn't make people feel like freaks

definately nutrition- but nutrition for new mums! I'm severely anemic as a result of my pregnancy/birth and a vegetarian- all the advice I've had from MACH nurses etc has been 'eat meat'- umm, no.

hmm, all my issues are coming out!!

and 'what happens later'. the MACH nurses seem pretty ok with the whole 'wake, feed, play' thing but what about when they graduate beyond those simple requirements (like the other ladies are saying- toddlers and behaviour etc)

Thanks guys. These ideas are all fantastic. Keep em coming

Mel
DH - Tim
DS - Ayden born 06.04.05 - 9.1oz 4.1 kilos

Definitely more 'older baby' stuff. My parent's group was great and covered the topics I needed then - sleep, feeding, moving to solids, safety etc but then you're left with no information or support for later on. It'd be nice if they ran some classes (at weekends!) for (both) parents with a 1 year old that went on to dealing with tantrums, toilet training, dealing with that transition to independent child, maintaining good diet for the child, how to handle 2 children, how to explain child number 2 to child number 1.
I'm not sure about the relationships advice. It would be good but then again, I can't see my DH wanting to discuss such things in a group (I wouldn't be overly keen myself). Maybe just a brief talk with no pressure for discussion?

oh yeah, some open discussion about 'baby spacing'. Every MACH nurse/doc/midwife has asked me about contraception saying 'its easy to get pregnant right after you've had a baby, use protection yada yada', but me and DH want a large family. I'd like some advice/discussion with women who have done both (bigger gaps and close together) and some general medical stuff (I could asked advice from my doc I suppose) but I'd love that to be covered

In Bathurst I was a part of a play group that had a suggestion box, But if you where uncomfortable about placing your suggestion in the box you could post it.

some of the things that came out of this suggestion box where things like coping with DV and abuse, emotions pretty much things that people couldn't or wouldn't come out and say "I'd like to know how to ........"

It was good, the DV issues where never dealt with in the light of "ok well this person wants to talk about DV." More like "Ok today we have someone from the NSW police here to talk about identifing signs of DV and abuse and what we should do if we know someone ........"

It was a great way to bring up all types of topics and issues, without tell every parent in your group that "I" have this problem.

I hope this helped.

It was one of the things that made my parent group just that little bit nicer to go to. IYKWIM.

Alternatives to CC at all clinics *and* in the "sleep school" seminars and at QEII!

Parenting and behaviour issues for toddlers. Even if they could point us at "good" sources of advice and info. DH and I just read about a parenting course we're interested in but (a) we don't know whether it would be any good and (B) it's one night a week for eight weeks from 6-9pm which is a "difficult" time slot for most parents isn't it?


Steph
DD Alex (March 04)

I'd have to agree with Clairp. It's hard to know where to get support and meet new mums once you've had your bubs and especially hard if you've had a traumatic birth. It can seem very overwhelming and you can feel very isolated if you don't have any family support around.

My little bubs is only just 8 weeks and I thought it would be good to join a new parents group to meet other first time mums, however wasn't able to get in until November. That's a long time to wait if you're keen to meet and share experiences with other people in the same boat.

Although it's nice to have a website such as this so you can get helpful information from people who understand.

I suppose later on i'd like more info on nutrition and also spacing as DH and would also like a big family.

Vanessa

Mum to Jasmine Jane 21/07/05

Great idea Mel!

The suggestions so far are really good. I went to a "sleep group" recently put on by MACH nurses, for parents with kids from 6mo to 3yrs. All that was presented was resettling, modified cc and getting them through the night in their cots...what is it with trying to get them to sleep alone when it is against nature? And to sleep through the night, when b/feeding at night can go on past 1yr! Ok, it does suits some and the techniques were well explained, but more information about gentler approaches such as co-sleeping should be made an option at these groups.

Another suggestion; The first year with a baby is a huge change for a mum, whether 1st baby or subsequent. Physical/hormone/emotional changes and how they affect the mum/relationships in the first yr after birth - not much info is out there (eg; introducing solids = less b/feeding = hormone changes = postnatal blues at 6mo). So more information postnatal-1yr, and coping strategies (for individual and couples), would be good, and maybe parents discussion groups led by a MACH nurse, offered at 6months, 9 months and 1yr?

And a last one; Groups, such as the sleep group, should be baby-friendly past 6mo. I couldn't take DD along to this sleep group. I can understand about not taking older toddlers along, but what if you are still b/feeding exclusively and/or what if you don't want to leave your baby due to separation anxiety ??? Maybe the baby age groups could be split differently.

Sorry for rambling on a bit...not much sleep lately...
HTH!
ALex.

I agree with Pommie on the groups issue, their needs to be
more assistance for parents with older babies/toddlers who
are unable to attend the sleep sessions.

My 10.5 m DS still wakes 2-3 times p/night wanting to be fed,
I rang QE2 for help they didn't want to know me & passed me
straight to ACT Health who then passed me to Qbn Family
Centre, all were of no help as I have a toddler as well & no
family/friends local to babysit whilst the sleep sessions were
held as kids were not allowed. All I was offered was a video
to watch instead. I am returning to work in a week & don't
know how I am going to handle it.

The centre I have been to in QBN seems to cater well for
newborns- 6 months but their is nothing much after that, I
have stopped going due to their lack of assistance.

I agree with most of the above suggestions. My boys are beyond babyhood now, but gee could I have done with help on all these topics and knowledge of support and how to meet other new mums when you don't know any and have no family in Canberra when they were babies.

So, I would definitely agree with the person who said information about new mum groups (I was unaware of these when my two were born), and definitely information about older babies/toddlers, and how draining it can be emotionally as baby gets older. I also agree with ClaireP about debriefing after birth, when you need to talk but its not PND and you don't want to take up PND resources.

I think there should be a bit more info pre-birth about how to handle a newborn, settling techniques etc. I was flabergaasted at the hospital run "parent preparation" sessions when all they talked about was giving birth. yes, this is a big deal, but it usually only lasts about a day in your life, whereas once a bub arrives, you spend the next 20-odd years looking after them - a bit more info on what to expect in the early days would be far more useful I would have thought.

Hi

What about the following topics:

- when things don't go according to plan and you have a premature birth / dealing with the preemie baby

- what services are available if you suspect developmental delays ie who/where/when to access speech, physio, OT, paediatrician

- older children: preschoolers and primary school age children. It's almost as if once your baby hits 3yrs old you're on your own.

- the practicalities of dealing with a toddler and a baby ie prams, routines, dealing with feed times, out and about with 2 etc.

- what's available in Canberra i.t.o entertaining your kids and their contact details eg music classes, playgroups, toy libraries, Gymbaroo, swim schools and toddler gym, library story times etc.

Candice

caro, that info is provided already by the mach nurses. we got more than we possibly needed with our two...

Excuse my ignorance but what does MACH stand for?

I too would love to know what services are available for ages up to school. (just moved from NSW a bit overwhelmed)

A big one for me, loosing my indivdual identity and becoming mummy, how to cope with it.

"Pathways" of services, ... you see this serivce first, then so and so ... (like medical pathways) IYKWIM.

Jane

Jane - Maternal and Child Health Nurse (someone correct me if I am wrong)

It's ok to raise stuff that may already be slightly
covered elsewhere, as these topics will be done in conjucntion with the services already available (is my understanding) so the suggestions are all great.

Thanks everyone. This has been a good eye opener. I have forwarded the link to my friend, who has been reading and jotting down points!

Hopefully we would be able to get some help with some/if not all of these issues soon.

Mel
DH - Tim
DS - Ayden born 06.04.05 - 9.1oz (4.1 kilos)

and i guess not every mach nurse covers the same stuff, for instance we got given heaps of settling info with emelia yet ryan was the one who was hard to settle ROFL