hi all,

my boys are 7 weeks on monday and K is still having trouble attaching- he will breast feed but goes to sleep alot, takes ages to get attached- and generally is a shocking feeder- he has been having usually 2 ebm bottles in 24 hrs- especially when they want to feed at the same time- we have called the ABA- seen a lactation consultant and still we are having trouble- D feeds well and hates the EBM bottle's.. tandem feeding is out as I can ot get K on at all when we have attempted it.

I have about 3-4 litres of EBM in the freezer- but I know that I wont be able to keep the pumping up to him-I just feel guilty that I can not get him feeding properly- and at my wits end about what to do... does he become formula and occasional EBM bottle(till stock pile runs out)baby and his brother the boob?

I just dont know- opionions please- be as honest or brutal as you like..

*disclaimer, I'm not a twin mum *

I don't see a problem with breastfeeding one and not the other at all, certainly a better situation than FF both just so they're 'the same'

That said, Why are you unable to continue to express for K? 3-4 litres already in the freezer is a fantastic amount! (and effort ) Much better than I have ever achieved

Generally my advice to anyone considering giving up breastfeeding in the first 3 months is to ride it out, but I can't imagine how tiring and difficult having two babies is, let alone one that is difficult So that decision is yours.

Have you called the local ABA councellor of lactation consultant? I'd be making sure there's not a simple change you can make to K's attachment before making any big decisions

I just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS for how far you have come.

Feeding 2 babies at once via the breast is HARD WORK. Well done.

To be honest I would try NOT to stress (I know that's easy for ME to say). Try & just relax & keep persisting. I'm sure once K gets the hang of attaching your life will be a lot easier. I remember tandem feeding in the early days & I found it very hard. I would get one attached & then the other would come off, so then attach her & it started over again.

Do you have a breastfeeding pillow? This was my life saver for tandem feeding.

Maybe keep trying & see how you go, If things don't improve see how he goes being bottle fed with either EBM of formula.

Hopefully the feeding will just click with him & you will be able to breastfed both boys. If this doesn't happen be proud of the fact that you tried your best.

I wish you well.

Belinda

We thought we may end up doing this as Chase was a really bottle-man and Levi a boobie-man. We just kept persevering at each feed and he did end up taking the breast but was always more keen for the bottle. I had supply issues and I suspect this could have also been due to Chase not sucking properly at the breast so mine were 50/50 bottle and breast from about 8-10 weeks: I'd breastfeed one and bottle the other and swap at each feed.

Honestly if it is causing you major stress that you are at the point of resenting them (or breastfeeding in general) maybe it is time to have him bottlefed and just focus on solely BF'ing your other one: you have seen the ABA and lactation consultants and it has been 7 weeks so it sounds like you have given it a great shot! Breastfeeding twins is flippen hard work. Is it an option to try to keep expressing as much as possible?

BusyB said exactly what I think. The decision is of course totally yours and no-one here will judge you in any way shape or form .

I just wanted to add that I faced a similar situation with one "easy feeder" (DS) and one bub (DD) who had difficulties.

I persisted because I worried that doing one FF and one BF would be harder (on me) than BF or FF both as you get the cons of FF in sterilising, washing bottles and preparing formula and the cons of BFing in that you can't get help with the feeding. I thought it would end up being the "worst of both worlds" IYKWIM. If my DD had been a singleton, I am sure that she would have been FF .

It was around the 3-month mark that everything just seemed to 'click' with regards to feeding and now at 10mo my DD is a total boobyholic and the easiest bub to feed (easier than her brother ATM!). We also tried ABA and LCs with little improvement. In our case, I am sure that it was due to her being a bit small, sleepy and weak and she just needed some time to learn how to BF properly. I also fed individually as there was no way she could feed efficiently while I was tandem feeding.

Hope things improve for you soon and you find the best path for you and your family

I second what Tilly said...
For the first few weeks Sam just wouldn't attach and I ended up bottle feeding him EBM most of the time... then he started to get the hang of it, but kept letting go, etc until recently when he was diagnosed with reflux and prescribed medication which has really sorted out his problems... he now feeds faster than his brother Jack!

It is so damn hard feeding two, but perservere if you can stand it and they should eventually get the hang of it... assuming there are no physical issues getting in the way.

Well I can add my 2cw I found BFing Saxon and Maddy a breeze absolutely no problems gave up when they were 13 months and never considered I would have a problem but along came Abbey and Jaz and boy did I learn things are different each time... I persisted with the nightmare mainly I think because everything tells you you must BF but after months of hell with Jaz who was just a really bad feeder I stopped and just dealt with it I did have a period where I only BF Abbey but then at the end we all got sick and they wouldn't anymore. I can say I still feel really bad about it mainly because I found it so easy with the first and I considered it more important for the 2nd set as they were premmie but I did the best I could and now they are happy healthy and growing well.

So if this feels right to you or is just necessary for your sanity do what you need to do

Good luck and I hope it all works out

Vanessa

Hi
I found it very difficult in the beginning bf two babies, I had one that attached well and one that would not. I think I would have given up when a midwife at the hospital gave me a nipple shield, i could not believe it. The one that wouldn't attach suddenly attached. It took alot of practice and alot of patience (support from husband was great), after a while I got the hang of it and managed to bf for six months. The more calm i was the more calm my babies were.

I was warned the nipple shields could slow your milk etc, but for me they worked a treat, thanks to them I bf for six months, without them I don't think i could have done it.

Good luck, you are doing a great job.

Deb

Have you tried a nipple shield? Both my boys were SHOCKING at attaching. Without them, I could not have breastfeed either baby.

They were 34 weekers so sleepiness and being hard to keep on the boob were issues. However, I then started using the shields and found it somewhat easier to start.

Notwithstanding this, the first three months of breastfeeding (tandem) was very, very hard work. My mum kept on encouraging me and telling me that it would get easier. And did did when they were 3 months.

I had the SCN nurses tell me that breastfeeding was something that not only I was learning, but also the babies.

Ancedotally speaking, I think if you persist you will end up with two babies who become good at latching and over time you will be glad you persisted.

However, if it is causing you such distress that you feel it is detracting from your ability to look after yourself and the babies, I would consider using up the EBM for this bub and start formula.

It is a really difficult situation.

The other thing is, if you live near Hornsby in Sydney I would be happy to come around and help you get the bub attached for some feeds. I used to breastfeed alot with a girlfriend who has twins the same age and I learnt alot from her re: breastfeeding.

Reply from a non-twin mum here. I've had one 35 weeker and one 37 weeker, and they both had attachment problems in the early days. It would take 20 minutes of struggling to attach & by this stage, they were too tired to suck efficiently. Lactation consultants discouraged the use of nipple shields, but I was determined to breastfeed & decided to get the shields & it was the best thing I'd ever done during breastfeeding. Attachment was a breeze & feeds became less of a struggle. I weaned off shields after 4 months with DS1 and around 6 weeks with DS2.
I don't think that a decrease in supply would be too much of an issue if you are twin feeding and switching sides each feed.

All the best with it - whatever you decide, at the end of the day you need to do what works for you and your babies.

thank you all for your ideas, tips and experiences..I appreciate it..

re: the nipple shields- when K (kale that is to lazy to type 1 handed when feeding) was in the SCN we could only get him to feed off a shield- problem was he would get the let down and milk would flow out his mouth everywhere- then he wouldnt get much else till the next let down- therefore he wasnt gaining weight- so he was weaned off the shield.. the lactation consultant and peads in the SCN checked his mouth and dont think there was any physical reasons to our problems..

What I have done - we have been using the EBM in the freezer and I have feed him at times when they dont wake together- I have found when he is on the boob he doesnt settle after a feed and will sleep then want to feed againplus vomits more- he has had one formula bottle today- just to give him a taste- but I will keep persisting- feeding him as much as possible and trying to pump as much as I can and using the EBM- fingers crossed he improves with perserverance- but if not I guess there isnt much more I can do...

thanks again all

At 7 weeks I would keep trying.

My son had a terrible attachment, while my daughter was fine. We had all sorts of dramas, but eventually he got the hang of it. Now he loves breastfeeding but at 7 weeks I was sure he would not last this long (9.5 months and counting!).

Make sure you have good nipple creams and take really good care of your nipples so they don't become cracked/infected. I know it seems really hard now but in all likelihood it will get better. Hang in there a bit longer

You are doing an amazing job Fringe, you should be so proud of yourself.

I never got the hang of tandem feeding, even with a full day session at the hospital, one-on-one with a lactation consultant (and a few midwives coming in to help constantly as well!) In the end even the LC said, "At this stage, don't bother trying."

Both had problems latching on, combined with DD suffering from bad reflux making the whole thing really hard. Latching on never improved for either and DD reflux didn't fully clear up until about 8 months. She'd take ages to feed, then scream and arch and then throw it all back up. It wasn't so bad on the bottle as we could sit her up more to feed rather than lying her more flat for the breastfeeding.

I persereved for 3 months, determined to make it work. I'd breastfeed one while someone else bottlefed the other EBM (and some formula) (DH had the first 2 months off with me, MIL and my mum helped the next month) and then I'd express in between every feed... over a litre a day in the end!

It was exhausting and by three months I knew I'd done everything I could and had given my babies the best start in life I could. I was miserable, sick of having people over all the time (personal space had evaporated!!) and depending on their help.

It was the best decision for me at the time and I don't regret it. You need to decide what is going to be best for you and your family. Don't beat yourself up or think you haven't done a fantastic job because you have. Breastfeeding one/two/neither, whatever - just do what is best for your family.

I know of one twin mum who breastfed one baby til 12 months while the other was FF from very early on - that's what worked for her family and of course there is no difference between the twins. Neither complained!

Good luck with everything.

ETA: It really irks me when people give advise of their own agenda. Fringe asked about breastfeeding twins specifically, not one baby. There is a huge difference, and it doesn't help giving the standard old "breast is best" advise cos the question isn't a regular breast feeding question.

Don't get me wrong, I completely agree with the 'breast is best' general rule, but I have been through the long, hard and at times extremely difficult process of trying to breastfeed twins so I know that it's a lot more complex than that.