Hi there,

My DD is adorable but is driving me nuts at bedtime. She is almost 2.5yrs and has changed routine completely. I have tried to get her to bed by 8.30pm. I have to lay next to her in bed and she plays and wont settle to sleep until I have yelled at her which I dont like doing. I have tried sitting by the bed but she ont sleep and gets out of the bed.

I have tried to get her to sleep later at 9pm or even 9.30pm but I go through the same cycle.

DD has also given up her day sleep unles she falls asleep in the car she wont go to bed for a nap in the day. I have tried sleeping with her in the bed and tried getting her to nap next to me on the couch.

Please help!

Suzanne

Sounds very familiar... DH sits with DD for up to an hour waiting for her to nod off. She won't sleep with me during the day unless I put her in the car! So I'm afraid I don't have any answers for you!

In answer to your question, she goes to bed any time after 8.30pm but normally 9pm...

Hi Suzanne

You poor thing, you must be dreading bed time each night. My only thought was perhaps put her back in her cot instead of a big bed for a couple of months - until she's into a better routine. Maybe she's just not quite ready for a bed. You might be able to tell her once she starts going to bed like a 'good big girl', you'll put her back in the big girl bed.

If possible I wouldn't stay in her room until she falls alseep. This maybe prolonging her staying up.

My 2 yr old (and 6 yr old) go to bed at 7. However she is still in a cot and can sometimes spend upto an hour chatting away.

Good luck, I you're able to resolve this soon for your sake.

Oh Suzanne, you must be exhausted.

Our DS1 was 2 in Feb. He's still in his cot. Can get out but doesn't bother very often

Like elmo11 suggested. maybe try leaving her to chat & self-settle (if that's the correct term).

We put Gareth to bed somewhere between 7pm & 8pm depending on whether he's had an afternoon sleep. we then say goodnight, and leave him. sometimes with a torch & a small favourite book if he's really hyper! he's happy chatting, waving the torch around, and eventually, without fuss, nods off to sleep. We go in and take the book & torch out (with flat batteries!)

Good luck.

We had a month like that when DS would only go to sleep after fidgeting next to me or dh in bed after the new baby came. Now he goes to bed at 8 everynight. He has a milk then teeth then goes to bed with his dummy and froggie which plays music, sometimes he gets out but I say no it's bedtime and sing twinkle twinkle while walking him back down the hall and back into bed. He cried for 10 minutes everynight for about 4 nights and got out numerous times but after that he just accepted it and will nodd off to sleep without any hassle now.

Our DS was like this for about a month around 2.5... no idea why as he had always been a great sleeper. We put up with him crying, needing us next to him or having him in our bed for a month before we decided to get tough (we were at our wits end and everyone was exhausted). We ended up having about 3 nights of crying until he fell asleep exhausted (30 mins first night, 15 the next and maybe 5 the third). We put him on a star chart for sleeping in his own bed by himself, gave him a nightlight, new pillow, and a drink next to his bed (covering all bases). Since then he has been sleeping pretty well, except waking at the crack of dawn since daylight savings ended

my 2yo goes to bed at 7pm, later if we are the gparents house, he too plays up some nights, i shut the door and let him play, unless he gets too noisy, then we go in and take whatever is making all the noise off him and give him a book or bear instead. Many times when i have checked on him he has been asleep behind the door with his pillow and quilt.

IMO putting her back in a cot may make her climb out and that could lead to potential injury

Josh is almost 2 1/2 and he goes to bed about 7pm and sleeps through most nights.

He also sleep during the day atleast 2 hours.

We went through a very unsettled period but I was always tough and now he's great at going to bed.

Good luck...I so hope it get better for you!

My DD goes to bed at 7:30pm but if she has had a late day sleep she ends up going at 8:30pm.

I have also found that if she has a late night the night before (eg out to dinner) she will be out of routine for a couple of nights.

She is in her own bed so if she doesn't feel the need to go to sleep yet she will get up and come back out to the lounge room. We just keep putting her back in and talk to her about why she needs to go to sleep and what is going to happen the next day...but she needs to go to bed so the next day will be here quicker.

I think anywhere after 8pm is getting too late. I've just come back from Tresillian with my 9 month old (a whole other story...!), but there were plenty of toddlers there (all in bed by 7.30pm at the latest), it might help to call somewhere like that just to talk about strategies now before it gets even more out of control.

Our 2.3 year old goes by 8pm each night still in a cot and still has a 2-2.5 hr nap in the day. He's always been a good sleeper which helps!

Considering DD1 doesn't have to get up early I don't think after 8 is too late. If she had to go to kinder/school I would adjust her bedtime - it's all relative!

our nearly two year old goes to bed about 6.30pm/7pm and wakes up at 6.30 - 7.30am - did not use to be like this - this has only been in the last 4 months or so.

She also has a morning sleep at about 11am to12.30pm

Hayley

hayleymorton, I have to say, your daughters are gorgeous

DD (2.5) and DS (9.5mths) both go down at 7ish, 7.30 at the latest. I am another one that thinks that any later than this is too late for that age group. She will be up anytime from 7 to 8.30. On average she is mostly in the 7.30-8 range.

DD does take a variety of toys and books to bed with her (she is still in a cot) and even though her room is dark, she will often 'play' and chat for up to an hour before she goes to sleep. This is fine by me, but another reason why I always she starts the process no later than 7.30.

DD will also have a day sleep that lasts from approx 1.5-2hrs.

Suzanne, have you tried just leaving her to it? What happens if you do? Will she go to sleep eventually? If she will, I would be just leaving her to it. DD has some nights where she is asleep in 15mins, others where she is awake over an hour later. It's swings and roundabouts.

I'd be going the same route with the day sleep. Although I know by this age some kids give up the day sleep.

My 2.7 year old girl goes to bed at 8.30pm religiously. I made the decision when I had my second bub that she had to be in bed by then. It took a few nights to get her into the routine but now if she isn't in bed by 8.30 she sometimes goes - 5 minutes to bedtime mummy. I know its hard but just be tough and eventually she will learn that mummy/daddy means business.

Thanks heaps Sugababe

Luv Hayley

thanks for the advice, i think i have to get tougher on her.

For those that mentioned putting her back into her cot... WE have a 3 month old which will be in the cot soon plus DD1 wanted to get out of the cot and sleep in the 'big bed' herself. We try and leave her in the room and I do try to keep the night time ritual of kissing her goodnight and telling her that we will see her in the morning but she refuses to stay in her room and comes back to the lounge.

I think it has become more difficult now that we have DD2. I'm not sure what to try next....

Suzanne

Our DD started playing up after our DS was born 4 months ago. Now that he is in a routine and asleep no later than 7:30pm I can give her full attention for her routine. She has milk, does her teeth, chooses a story, then bed by 8pm. I lie with her and read her a story or two in her big bed and lie there until she is asleep. She is a very tactil child and I think needs the closeness that this gives. We tried reading and leaving but she will not cry herself to sleep, never has, and will just work herself up to full tantrum mode.

Goodluck and I feel for you and only now feel slightly normal and have time for myself in the evenings. She was staying up until 10pm or so, wanting to stay with us. Starting a routine made the world of difference for us as I think it gave her some control.

Kate

DS1 is in bed at 8pm (DS2 between 7.30 and 8pm). I was going to try and push for a 7.30pm bedtime after daylight saving ended, but it just didn't happen. I wish he would go to bed earlier, but on the plus side both boys generally don't get up until 8am so I am still happy.

DS2 also has a 2 hour sleep through the day, from 1-3, which is why I think he goes to bed that bit later.

Sam.

My DS2 who is round the same age, is in bed( not asleep by 7.15 each night. He still has a day sleep of about 1 hour or so which is nice.

We start their bed time routine at about 6, changing, bath or shower, milk, teeth, book.

He gets into bed, but will play around in his room and then is asleep by 8 or thereabouts. Sometimes it is later.

I used to get concerned about him not going to sleep earlier, but what he does is put himself to sleep when he is ready. We dont have to settle him- and never had to actually which is very lucky.

He did go through a stage a few months back when he would come out of his room about 10 times. We put him back a few times, and then ignored him, eventually he just realised that we were not going to play and he wandered back to bed.

My older child will not sleep before about 9 and later, even though he is in bed same time. He is a night owl.

It might not all be relative. Research has shown that people of different ages generally have certain times that are easier for them to fall asleep. If you miss the 'sleep wave' they may have to wait for another one which is usually 45 mins - an hour away. If it was my child I'd be trying a slightly earlier bedtime just to see if it helps. I'm not saying this is true for all children but might be worth a try. I know for my DS his wake up time has nothing to do with when he goes to sleep. Never has done.

My DS goes to bed at 8pm and sleeps about 2 hours during the day as well.

And the other thing to keep in mind is the quality of the sleep. The sleep before midnight is of a better quality and the more important sleep. So if they are going to bed later and sleeping in, the quality of the sleep won't be as good, even though the number of hours might be the same.

Plus I would imagine it would be a nightmare to have to adjust it once they are at kindy,school etc.

I think it *might be a developmental thing at this age. I know heaps of people who are having exactly the same prob with their 2.5 yo (including us).

Also possibly, with no day nap, she gets over tired and then has more trouble getting to sleep. I know DS definitely has more trouble doing to sleep when very overtired. I would certainly try and get her to bed earlier. With no day nap, IMHO 8.30 is too late. Maybe try 7.30 for a bit, see if it helps.
Good luck

Hi OP.

Our 2.5yr old goes to bed at 7pm. Either DH or I read her a couple of books and then say good night. She always comes out maybe 2 times but we just walk her back in, put her back in bed and say good night again. She's probably asleep by 7.30.

I'd suggest to be strong and just keep walking her back to her bed room telling her it's time for sleep etc. And I'd suggest an earlier bedtime of say 7.30.. You might have a week or so of taking her back to bed heaps but in the end I think it may pay off.

I don't think a later bedtime correlates to waking later - with our DD anyway. The other night we had a family bbq and DD didn't go to bed until nearly 10pm and she still woke at 6am the next day.

Hi,
My 2. 5 Ds goes to bed at around 8.30, which is not too late for him. He gets plenty of sleep
He gets up between 8 to 8.30 most mornings , some mornings it's 9am. He basically has a full 12 hrs night sleep.

He used to go bed by 7pm the latest but that was when his daytime nap was a lot earlier 12 to 2.00, since his daytime nap is now later - 2pm to 4pm he has been going to bed at night later too ,at 8.30

It works for us, and he has has plenty of sleep - 14 hrs a day in total, sometimes more

Kind Regards:)

DD goes to bed between 6.30-7pm, it really depends if she has had a snooze during the day or not. If she has then we put her to bed at 7pm, but if she hasnt we put her to bed at 6.30pm.

Generally its 7pm. Can be 6.30pm or 7.30pm depending on her behaviour- ie tantrums or a late nap (sometimes i put her down for her 12.30pm nap and she falls asleep at 2pm..).

I hope this gets better for you soon.