Just have to have a vent. DS has been getting steadily fussier and fussier for months now. Last night I made him pasta (one thing he will eat) with meat sauce. He picked out a few pieces of pasta and shook the sauce off and that was it. He had two cups of milk before bed.

Tonight I made chicken and veggie stew. I mashed it up to almost baby food consistency because I know he hates lumps. Still refused to even try it. Made him some toast and spread some of the mush on it. He ate the toast after meticulously scraping off every bit of dinner.

He's now had a yoghurt and some pureed fruit. My policy is to not care, just keep offering healthy food etc but GAHHH!!!! I hate cooking at the best of times and when he just refuses to even taste it....GAHHH!!!!

I hear you... our DD is fussy about eating and has been for a long time now...but I love cooking and would love to have a child that likes to eat, as I could create/ cook anything for them!!! It's very frustrating, isn't it...

ahh i know how frustrating it can get!! keep it up and try not to stress about it. my DS can go days without eating a thing

Thanks for the sympathy. I guess I should just feed him what I know he'll eat (crumbed fish etc) but I don't want him to get any fussier so I feel like I have to keep offering other food. He basically eats weetbix, vegemite sandwiches, cheese, yoghurt and pureed fruit.

I know what you're going through. I just stop making special food now, sick of the times when I make something esp. for the kids and they don't want it.

One thing I'd suggest is to not offer snacks, or even afternoon tea. Make him REALLY hungry and then give him dinner. GL.

yeah not offering snacks is what the speech therapist (been going on for to long and his health has actually suffered cause of it )strongly suggested with DS to try getting him to eat, didn't work on him though

Personally I would not be giving him two cups of milk or toast.

If DD won't eat her dinner all she gets is water until breakfast time. She's never faded away to a shadow or woken hungry during the night.

FWIW her fussy eating phase was at its peak from 2-3 and has vastly improved since 3.5y!

Steph

Ah that could have been my DD 6 months ago, I was going mental. She is now the gourmet queen and eats like a horse most days. Here is what I did:

1. Stop stressing about it. Seriously, I think this is the key point. They won't die, you won't be locked up. I am a control-freak and a foodie so I was really getting myself into knots about it.

2. Reduce milk intake significantly. I cut DD's 2 bottles-a-day from 200-220ml each to 160ml (and switch to low fat milk if you haven't already).

3. Stop all snacks unless a at least 2 healthy meals a day are being consumed. I don't think all toddlers need 3 big meals a day. Either brekkie and lunch or brekkie and dinner should be good solid meals, not necessarily all 3 (though my DD eats 3 big meals plus snacks these days). Dinner can be a vegemite sandwich if they have a decent cooked meal for lunch. Some toddlers are too tired to eat much dinner.

4. Stop preparing special time-consuming meals especially for them. It drives you nuts when they won't eat it after all the goodness and effort that has gone into it. Fish fingers and 3-vege mix from the freezer with a slice of bread and butter is much easier to throw in the bin without causing yourself a fit of rage. Or give them your leftovers from last night.

5. Don't offer alternative meals. Put the food in front of them and leave them to it. If it isn't eaten either reserve it for later or throw it away and let them go on without a meal. Offer fruit only for dessert if they haven't eaten a meal, don't give biscuits, cake, chocolate as anything other than a reward for having eaten healthy food first.

6. Don't help them to eat. Don't hover. Try not to care too much about the mess.

Honestly, this is what has worked for us, now I heap praise on my DD when she eats well, which is almost always, and I know when she doesn't eat she either isn't hungry or isn't feeling well so I never push. She helps me a bit with food preparation too and tries all the edible ingredients along the way (even took a bite out of a spanish onion the other day 'too yucky mummy!' but we had a good laugh about it).

If nothing else it is such a relief not to be stressed about it any more! Good luck.

If you PM me your postal I'll post you the two sided A4 sheet on Fussy Eaters I was given at our feeding assessment.

Also look at your DS health history. Was told DD was fussy about textures as a psych reaction to when her reflux got worst as a baby. Her tounge tie also means that lumpy foods like fruity yoghurt or banana once chewed in the mouth are spat out.

I got over it by just going straight to softer finger foods that Miss independence was in control of (as a 2 1/2 year-old), cut crusts off giving her control over how her food was presented (at suggestion of SP) etc etc.

On the surface she's probably 'fussy' as she doesn't eat everything like DS does but she can eat a solid balanced diet if I don't force foods she is opposed to. i.e loves blueberries and kiwifruit, hates banana and apple.

Id have to agree with not giving the milk... DD1 used to be a terrible eater (still has her moments) but always knew with the milk would be there if she didnt eat. Went both ways as I had kept her on toddler milk because I was worried she wasnt getting enough from food, but was actually hindering her food consumption.

Shes still not so interested in dinner but my gosh does she eat during the day...

A few things that also worked for us were prettying things up, ie using biscuit cutters on sandwiches and getting her to chose which one she wanted, making things look like butterflies etc ie toast wings/cherry tomato eyes on stews... giving her choice of how her food was cut up (only two options tho so as not to make it confusing, ie triangles or squares) getting her to crack eggs for omelettes... having her involved has definetly helped.

Hope today is a better day for you

Hi,
If you don't want your ds to remain fussy then don't give in and offer crumbed fish and things he likes!
You are doing the right thing. Just remain consistent and relaxed at meal times and don't make food an issue at all.

- Keep offering healthy meals, don't go to extra effort - he should eat what you eat.

- Dont have any reaction if he does or does not eat. (praise, fuss etc) this causes game playing and using food for attention.

-Just serve the meal, sit down relax, eat your dinenr and then clear it away. If the food is not eaten don't say anything just offer nothing until the next meal.

-Cut out snacks and excessive milk.

- If it's no issue, he should learn that food is there and if he should eat when hungry. MOST kids will not starve themselves.