My dd is almost 5 and she's driving me nuts . She is an only child and we do our best not to spoil her.
She treats me terribly. I feel so sad because everyone else tells me how wonderful and kind she is when they are in their care but when she's with me she's just aweful.
She lies to me all the time and is so rude and never listens or does as I ask her.
I take things away from her as punishment but it does seem to worry her all that much.
My dad and my dh think that I should give her a smack every now and then to get her attention but I don't think that will work.
What I need to know is, am I asking too much of her and if not, what do I do with her to gain so respect . I feel so defeated.

I would love some advice.

Thanks, Michelle

Have you looked into ways of discipline that are more guidance/consequences related instead of straight punishment?

To me, rudeness and lying and not listening or doing as she is told are not things that have taking things away as a natural consequence. Unless the not doing as she is told relates to packing things away or not playing inappropriately with toys (throwing, bashing, drawing on walls etc).

Have you read any of Steve Biddulph's books like Raising Happy Children?

Is she mucking up to get attention? Is she bored?

Is she in school this year and if so what kind of feedback have you got from them? Do you think she is extra tired and irritable because of this?

I think I've come up with more qns than answers - sorry.

Steph

I was a terrible fibber when I was that age. I remember it being because I felt the punishments where often to harsh or didn't fit the "crime" that I was lying about. Have you been honest with her and told her that the lying and rudeness hurts your feelings? Tell her that you will be glad when the lying stops and you hope that it will be soon.

Personal question, How does your Dad/hubby speak to you? Is there any thing in the way that adults in your life act that she maybe mirroring?

Do you have Mummy/daughter time? The bonding may change things. Even if it is a trip to the park, try and go when you aren't tired or emotional, so if these behaviours rear their ugly head while you are out, you can calmly explain why you don't like what she has done/said without getting angry. Tell her directly that she doesn't need to do that to get your attention.

Hope this helps, I really think the only way to deal with it is to talk to her. I think the smack will just make her angry with you and therefore, more disrespectful.

Thanks for your replies.
DD started kinder this year.
I only take things away from her as punishment is she hasn't done as I ask, ie pack something away. She gets plenty of sleep and I don't think she is bored. She gets lots of mother and daughter time as I don't work and we are together a lot.
No one in my life speaks to me rudely or unkind, I have a fantastic relationship with my father and my dh and I have a fantastic marriage.
I often tell her how much it hurts me when she lies to me but it really isn't making any difference.
I guess I'll just keep on plugging on and hope it gets better.

I'm out of questions, and answers. Good Luck! Hope the undesirable behaviour disappears soon....

My DD is 5 and she can be a real madam when she wants to She has 2 older brothers she bosses around to no end!

I find giving her things to look forward to each day helps, like a trip to the library or some craft time or helping me wash the dog.

If she is rude to me I give a warning then time out or sent to her room, one warning is usually enough. She crys to get what she wants but I see through that and send her to her room. Smacking would get me know where except make her madder!

Good luck!

Thanks humming cat.
It's good to hear that my dd isn't the only 'madam' around. I'll give your suggestions a go, thanks again.