Ok DD isn't 2 yet. But she's extremely full on. She's been hard work her whole life actually.

She's a huge drama queen, has a tanty over everything! Screeeeeeams if her big sis does anything to her (ie. brushes past her ). She's been quite whingey lately, which i'm going to blame on teething. She's also still clingy, has been her whole life.

We're hoping to have one more child, but i'm really worried that DD will still be so full on when she's 3! I go batty now after each day, i'm worried what it'd be like with a new baby on the scene! (already scared about the idea of being pregnant while she's like this!)

Is it an age thing? DD1 has been placid her whole life, so DD2 has just been a shock to the system.

Do 'full on' 2 year olds get better at 3? Is there any hope for me?!

My DD is 2 and full on as well....she spends a lot of time in "the corner" just to settle down. She gets hyped up so easily and not needing lollies to do so.

I have found taking her to Kindy Gym has helped a lot.

I sooooo hope that she will settle soon. Not the easiest with a baby as well. When she is hyped up she isn't very gentle with her little brother...she has the right intentions of giving him his dummy but jams it in instead.

Sounds just like my DD!!! She will be 3 in August and I am hoping it gets better too!
Everything is a drama to her, she fights for attention (the Leo coming out in her!!) and makes everything worse than it really is!
Although DS is only 5 months he is Soooooo different to her already. Thank God!! I keep saying that DD HAS to get into acting or entertaining when she is older!!!

My Nephew was apparently the same when he was 2 and now he is nearly 4 is getting much better.

So looks like there may be hope yet for us all!!

Phew, there is hope! I think a lot of DD's problems is her lack of communication. She can talk A LOT, knows lots of words, but still lacking in how to put it all together IYKWIM. But i don't think that'll help the drama queen in her though. Good idea Ginger, i better start looking up acting classes for her.

rorstey - yep, we've just moved and i need to re-join Kindergyms and playgroups. I dread taking her to Kindergym though as she cracks it when it's group time and she has to leave the equipment.

Our DD is (and always has been) a diva! No wonder I got post-natal anxiety trying to adjust to life with her!! She's still full of energy, esp. in the evenings , when I am just about done for, and the last few weeks has really kicked up the toddler dramatics. She is 2yrs 9 months, and with a recent move and arrival of her 3mth old brother, we are trying to remember that she isn't purposely trying to rile us (well, most of the time she isn't). She has always been fairly demanding and full on, but mostly we've had no major issues dealing with her behaviours and phases.

As for having a full on kid and a new baby, well, at the start (despite also selling/ moving at the same time) she had been so wonderful. She is very loving and caring of DS, but often to the point where we have to push her off him, as she wants to cuddle and kiss him too much! But she is noisy and disobedient and frustrating at all the wrong times! Plus, we are of course, sleep deprived and lacking the patience we normally had, but it is very exhausting dealing with her, as well as a baby (esp. when is also unsettled)...

My DS was an angel until about two weeks before he turned three. Ever since then he's been a screaming, hitting, kicking, shouting, banshee.

Oh dear.

I don't think I've helped!

I have no idea if they improve but I am just letting you know you aren't alone. Chase is extremely FULL ON. I was hoping when he started talking it would improve but he is such a chatterbox now it is almost worse because he can now go on and on and on and on about his dramas. My head seems to spend the whole day thinking 'Build a bridge and get over it Chase!'

Hi Kelly

My 21 mth old is also full on. I can't believe how destructive she is. She's also really rough with her older sisters. I'm just hanging out for the 12pm nap and 7:30pm bedtime. One of my other kids was really full on but once they emerged out of the toddler age (say 3 yrs) they become soo much easier. It just amazes me how different kids can be. My eldest only had 1-2 tantrums in his entire life!

Nap time... what's that?

yes yes . . . diva, drama queen, you name it! Litlle miss 2 years and 7 months decided today (before swimming) that "i not swim with other kids today, i cry mummy" and that is exactly what she did!

I have had such a hard time of it lately that when the occasional care centre phoned today to say that there was a place for her and what time of the day did I want her to start I jumped up and down (embarrisingly) and giggled for joy into the phone and asked "what time do you open?"

Oh please please please let the new baby be like this!!!

The excuses we most often get, when she won't do something we ask and a meltdown is in progress, is "cause I'm just crying a little" or "I can't, I am just crying". After her 'moment' (read: tantrum!) is over she often says "I'm stopped crying now" or "I was bit grumpy" or "I was having a bit of a cry, but I better now"...

Ah, you have to laugh or you'll have a nervous breakdown!

You just described my DS3 perfectly. DS2 was the same but thankfully grew out of it by the time he went to school.

Well my DS was an ANGEL - and my DD oh my goodnes - is complete oposite!! OMG!! tantrums always about nothing - bedtime we dread as its a scream fest and bang on door fest until she falls asleep (most of the time on the door)!!

i am so hoping she grows out of this - as she is testing us - she is 2years 3 months!!

Some days i wished i worked full time!!!

Mards

We are trying Omega 3 supplements... she does have Omega 3 in the soy milk she has, but we would also like to get rid of the bottle, and/or maybe try cows milk again... Omega 3 is supposed to help with their temperament, and she certainly doesn't get enough from her diet...

Oh me too.

dixiebelle, i will look into Omega 3 supplements. Anything is worth a shot!

K1 - no, you haven't. Actually maybe it works in opposites, and DD will become an angel just before 3.



That sums up DD. I probably tell her too often to 'get over it'. I hope the chattering doesn't make her worse. Bad enough listening to Miss 3 all day!

Ros - hello Layla is destructive too. She's in to everything, hits her sister, climbs on anything and everything. I also hang out for her nap time and bed time. Thankfully we have no issues usually with that (except night waking. *sigh*)

anotherlife, i've been looking up CCC's lately. I think it will save my sanity to have a break.



Nooooooooooo. School?? That's way too far away!!

Ok well, looks like it's give or take on if she improves or not over the next year. Maybe she'll get better once DD1 goes to school and she has no one to fight with.

Good luck with the omega 3. My DD#2 (18 months stands and begs for hers) but little miss drama queen won't take them. I was also given some fibraplex for kids (not sure if that is the right spelling) by a chiro for her and this is supposed to calm them down a bit or there is also a "kids" supplement called calm kids . . . nb none of these have made any differnce for me!

dixibelle had to laugh! I also get "I cry . . . I better now . . ." usually at the end of a timeout!

I really really needed to read this thread, as I felt so alone with my little diva!! She is 23 months and over the last 2 weeks has completley changed. She's always been more 'fiesty' than other kids and has kept us on our toes since she was born, but now she's just driving me bonkers I am finding her behaviour very hard to deal with ATM. I feel like nothing I do helps, I try and make our days interesting and fun, yet she is STILL throwing tantrums over the SMALLEST things, constantly whinging, flipping out if she can't get her way, etc etc.

I was bathing her last week and just broke down in tears. DH rang his mum and she took DD for 2 days so I could have some time out and it was heaven! I am so grateful I often wonder if me being 32 weeks pregnant has anything to do with it or with the way I'm coping?

Anni

Yes to the pregnancy thing... you do have less patience when you are PG, I think, as you are less patient as you are tired, plus emotional from hormones, sometimes irrational, and thinking about going through the newborn stuff again, with a toddler too. They are also possibly playing up a bit more, wondering what this 'new baby' business means and why has mummy changed... so, when you have a 'diva', all that stuff is worse!

Then you get the newborn home, and as is fairly typical, all went quite well at the start, but now the dramas have started and we are def. less patient and less skilled at handling it... I find I am more easily frustrated and 'over it' than I was before... but this latest dramatic 'phase' does seem worse than she's ever been before.

Oh, well, you just have to keep on going... what else can you do?

My now 5 year old DD was always very 'full-on" - more sensitive, emotional, more intense tantrums, less sleep, louder, more easily excited than other kids. I was never sure if it was just a developmental stage or just her personality.

Anyway, I happened upon a book in the bookshop called "Raising your spirited child: a guide for parents whose child is more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent,energetic" by Mary Sheedy Kurckinka. It talked about how to handle kids who seem to be more 'full-on' than others, and I found it to be very useful.

It made me realise (and that has been borne out over time) that these characteristics were just part of my daughter's personality, and that they can be managed. It's all about recognising the triggers, and as the kids get older, giving them the tools to recognise when things are getting too much for them to handle.

I think it's made me able to handle things better as I realise that mostly her outbursts aren't bad behaviour, it is her temperament that causes her to go into overload. I was dreading her starting school this year, and the emotional intensity that would bring, but we've handled it much better than I could have hoped.

Also, if you google "spirited child" there are lots of websites (mainly US) of parents with similar kids sharing their stories and strategies.

Anyway, hope this helps someone.

Thank you Lennie. I think that's really helpful. I always just react to DD like she's just moody, being naughty etc. I usually fail to remember that it is her personality. I do think though that hopefully she'll be a strong willed young lady when she's older that will help her in different aspects of life.

wca - oh i feel for you. I had one of those moments just 20 minutes ago. I can't do anything right. I try to do interesting things for her, but it all usually ends in disaster, tantrums, etc etc. I figure what's the point? I just end up getting more flustered than what i would if i didn't make the effort. It's almost leading me to not want to have #3 all together.

dixiebelle, yep, you just have to keep going and hope the next day will bring a miraculous change.

Has anyone tried putting their child in daycare? I've never felt comfortable with it (DD too clingy, thought she wouldn't handle it), but i wonder if it will help? Give me a break, and give her some stimulation. Just an idea for if/when i'm pregnant that i've been thinking over.

Back to the grind.

Daycare? Oh, god, yes... she loves it and it is my sanity saver! It def. helped my DD become more independent, and helped with her confidence and social skills. She has been in it since about 12 months old for 1 - 2 days a week. I would have gone crazy without it during my pregnancy. And now, with a baby too, DD and I both need it..

My now 4 year old was and still is. DS1 is a dream but DS2 does my head in

He is stubbon, defiant, always right (so he says), energetic, has a concentration span of about 10 minutes and always has to be entertained.

When he goes to daycare he is apparently "perfect" but I think that is because he thrives on the structure of it. He knows what comes next and the activities are on for long enough not to bore him and an added bonus of other kids to annoy.

I so can not wait for the school to start next year !!

Hmmm, looks like daycare will be a definite goer then. Either that or i don't think there will be #3!

Dizzy, my girls were fighting this morning, DD1 taking things from DD2 again ( ), i called out to DD1 "only a year to go Annika, only a year to go" (meaning till she starts kindy ).

I don't do toddlerhood very well.

Me neither and I thought that I was bad at newborn baby .

Just a note for everyone . . . check for an ear infection if they are being particularly bad.

We went away for Christmas and DD#1 was sooooo unsettled and hard to deal with. I just put it down to the typical she is 2 and out of her element and it turns out that (sure this was partially true) but the poor little thing had a really nasty middle ear infection and I had been saying behaviour for 2 weeks!

I did this once when she was younger and I was blaming teeth so the other day when she was being particularly fiesty I took her to be checked just in case and sure enough . . .middle ear again.

While I don't use this to excuse her spirited temperment it has proven itself to explain when she is being particularly difficult.

eta

We are booked in for 3 hours of occasional care (both pervious long day care experiences have been disasterous) starting Friday. I'll let you know!

I think its all depends on the individual. DD1, although pretty high maintenance, was generally well behaved (no tanties) until she hit 3. She soon made up for it!!! We had/have full on melt downs to the point that neither of us can remember how it started. These can last for 20 min or more. We have not found a technique that works to minimise these. Luckily at 4 they are getting more scarce (but the tearful drama queen has not subsided )

DD2 on the other hand hit 18 mths and certainly fit the "terrible two's" tag. She is full on. SCREAMS if you say no or doesnt get wgat sge wants. Fortunatelly, a bit of alone time works for her (although she is picking up her sisiters habit of crying "mummy cuddles" to try to get away with things ) I pray that she will ease up by 3 as we are planning number 3 and I know it would be caos if it were still like this. My DH and I often comment that it was about this time that we had a toddler and newborn and it was a (relativly) breese! No way could we cope atm.

I'll second this. One of the first indicators that Chase has an ear infection is the behaviour and whinging gets worse. Although lately I have been following him around with a thermometor checking in the hope there is a reason for the behaviour . I even dragged him to the doctor for a full check-up convinced there had to be something wrong because he was that bad. We have however put him on a multi-vitamin with iron and it has made the world of difference: can tell if he hasn't had it! Haven't tried Omega 3.

DD has been on Pentavite with Iron for ages, so that hasn't made any difference to her ( ) but hoping the extra Omega 3 will help... otherwise I will take them!

Lennie- your words ring very true.
We have a 4 yo and 2yo. My older child is one from the model child box. No 2 was like a hurricane . And here we were thinking we were really good at the parent thing.

DS2 IS TOTALL OPPOSITE. He is hotheaded and has had at least 5 tantrums per day for god knows ho long. He sleeps pretty well , but used to wake up a lot more. He is so shy, he hates leaving me at day care. Not an interets in the world re toilet training and had a bottle until 2.3(only in the mornings because we were too scared to take it away for the tantrums- we were )

Only now I have come to the conclusion as Lennie did that it is mainly personality. I have had long chats with Triple P and daycare and beat myself up about the way he is.
Dont!! Accecpt that it is mainly the child and work to work on their strengths.

I found that still consistency is still the best discipline, but also prvoviding lots of confiedence boosting hugs and prasie , reward chart stuff.

Also , really trying to set aside time to play and be silly with them.

The tantrums seem to be on the down for the time being so that this is the case and he is really growing up. I think I have seen him being a bit more positive and his talking is also much more last few weeks( which is probably the source of much toddler frustration)

good luck !

dixiebelle, not sure if this is any help but we found pentavite useless but he is now on Incremin and it seems to have helped.

It looks like by the number of responses and views of this topic that all 2 year olds seem to be full on. I guess thats why there are so many books on the issue. I went to the parenting seminar recently by Steve Biddulph. He has written a number of books including "Raising Happy Children" and what I took out of his talk was that at 2 your child is learning to push every boundary so they can make sense of the world. He said that as long as you provide love, firm boundaries (including following through with threats!!) and as little smacking as possible you are on the right track and soon they will learn how far they can push you.

It doesn't mean that they will stop pushing those boundaries... but hopefully they will improve. I love reading these posts because you start to realise that your child is perfectly normal.

It has made me feel much better reading this thread. DS is 2y.10m, and is a constnt struggle for me atm. Having a 6week old added to the mix doesnt help.

DS#1 will lose it at the drop of a hat. I have made a big effort to have one on one time with him since DS #2 was born, and to provide some structured activities each day, and those times can be wonderful, but within a minute of finishing a really good time, he is losing it over something totally not even relevant to what we were doing or are about to do. It has to be his way or no way at all.

In the last week, he has been carried (yes, carried) to his room for a time out so many times, because he just cries at the top of his lungs, and I refuse to watch or entertain the behaviour. I have thrown toys in the big bin outside because he has refused to pack them up, and I will not back down if binning them is what I have threatened. He sits at the window and watches me throw them out .

I know part of his behaviour is due to my hospital stay of 3 days with DS#2 when he was 4 weeks old, and try to be patient with DS#1, and give him lots of positive encouragement and hugs and time just for him, but in a heart beat, a situation can go from good to bad to ugly. But I know that he is geniunely a lvoely boy. He just seems to need more attention and more affection and reassurance than DD ever needed at this age. At least I know I am not alone.

Ireckon - i feel for you having a 6 week old as well. DD1 was never really like that (not like my DD2), but she still was a handful. I noticed a big difference coming up to 3, and after she'd turned 3. I guess it was the next developmental stage, and she improved a lot. I hope things improve for you soon, and your DS begins to adapt to his new sibling. No doubt he's still trying to get used to it all.

amandamaker - not all 2 year olds are a handful. My DD1 was a breeze. Thanks for the book title. I have a toddler book that has helped understand various stages. Definitly helpful. We don't smack, but use time-out, which has worked wonders with DD1. DD2 is still slightly too young to 'get it' but will hopefully 'get it' soon so i can start using it more frequently.