Hi,

Just wondering what sort of survival tips you might have for those first few h-a-z-y months.

I have 2 other children, 2 & 5, so I understand about being prepared with tangible things, frozen meals, distractions for the siblings etc.

I just started with a cleaner & have an ironing lady. I think I am in love with both of them I have started shopping online. I have outsourced as much as I can.

What tips can you share for physically having two babies to manage. I am hoping (in a perfect world) to perfect the fine art of tandem feeding. I purchased a automated swing for those times when both are very unsettled and there is just me and four children What other things should I consider?

I will join AMBA today!!

TIA,
Liz.

Early survival tips ummmmm......

Firstly, if you plan to tandem feed I suggest you invest in a good quality feeding pillow. I still tandem feed my two (although no longer need the pillow now, they help themselves) at 10 months old and found that lots of rest and plenty of water as well as not stressing about it helped a lot with being able to feed them in general. I just went with the flow and wasn't fussed and in return I now have a well established feeding routine with them.

If someone asks if they can help - SAY YES! You may not be able to think of anything at the time but tell them you will get back to them. My DF's Aunt came around once the twins were home and just did some general things like folded washing and unpacked the dishwasher. She just potted about, chatting to me but still staying out of my way IYKWIM

Don't stress to much about housework etc. You are going to be busy enough looking after your two new little ones and people that visit will understand - and if they don't, who cares. I used to put a little door hanger on the front door that said I or the twins were sleeping and please do not disturb. A little harder to do when you have older ones but I was able to nap with one eye open on the couch while my 3 year old was watching a DVD if I really needed to have a rest. I also have friends that put a lamp in there front window, if the lamp was on - just keep driving, it ment they didn't want to be disturbed. Great idea if you ca set it up.

Ok, so I haven't really given you to many tips but hopefully what I have given you will help a bit.

When are you due? Good luck!

The worst thing I did was listen to someone when they told me it was better not to wake the other twin. Maybe it works for some but not me.

I was doing so well. Feeding them together, if one was tired then they both went to bed etc. Then decided to listen to someone and let the sleeping twin sleep. Well, if you ever want to truely understand why babies/toddlers cry like they do when they are overtired then this is a good way to find out.

So, instead of sleeping I was looking after one of them. I think they were unsettled a bit too because they were used to being right next to each other as well. So, DH came home from work and took one look and sent me to bed. Then we went back to the same rountine.

Oh, that's a good tip. If one is unsettled put him/her in with the other one. That always worked for us and didn't even bother the other twin having her screaming in her ear. (Even if she was asleep) She would always snuggle into her and calm her down.

I can vaguely recall the early days . Let's see what I can think of.

- Babies don't need to be bathed every day! Every second or even every third day is fine . Coordinating bathing in the early days was a nightmare for me.

- I still tandem feed now, but in the very early days I fed them one at a time until I established good attachment, so I could focus on each individual baby rather than spending the whole time reattaching one, then the other. We moved to tandem pretty quickly though when they had the hang of it. Definitely invest in a good feeding pillow. I used the EZ-2-Nurse Twins inflatable pillow.

- Try and get out of the house every day if you can. Sometimes it felt like I hadn't even seen daylight for weeks. A walk around the block with the babies in the pram was sometimes a sanity saver. I also frequented the shops just to get out. If you do this though, get a bunny rug or something to put over the pram, so every granny and her dog doesn't stop you for a pat . I think forcing myself to get out is the reason my girls are so good when out now. I have a friend who never went anywhere with her multiples as babies, and they are extremely anxious babies who freak out whenever they leave the house.

- Lie the babies on a bunny rug or cloth nappy in their cot, so when (not if lol) they vomit you don't need to strip the whole cot, and possibly disturb both babies if they're sharing a cot.

- I second the waking the second baby when the first wakes - I also stopped doing it for a short period and it was a nightmare.

- Use a sleep association toy. From very early on I put a soft baby safe teddy in with my girls. They only had it at bed time. Now it is a wonderful sleep cue for them and even if we are out at rest time I just need to give them their teddy and they go to sleep. It is something familiar and comforting and it works brilliantly.

- Dummies are not evil! Use them if you need to.

- Try not to feel guilty about having less time for your older kids. They will adapt. You are giving them two siblings and that is a wonderful gift. My girls have nothing but great memories of the early days with the babies being home, which really surprised me after all my guilt! It really is such a short period of time (although often it feels like it will never end!).

- I also napped on the lounge when the older girls were watching DVDs. We watched a lot of movies in the early days .

- I loved our swings! You've done well there.

- If your older child attends preschool or school, try and arrange someone to do the drop off or pick up. This would have been such a huge help when DD1 started school.

- When all else fails remember that tomorrow is a new day, and it will get better. Then worse again, but always better again .

- Take heaps of photos. They grow far too quickly for my liking, and in the early hazy days remember to get the camera out is the last thing on your mind. I wish I had more photos from when they were really little.

- Enjoy! Twins are so special. Soak it up .

I found the early months very physically draining with lifting two babies all the time, as well as breastfeeding both of them.

What I wish someone had told me was to have an ironing basket in their room and the play area. That way you can put both babies in the basket when going back to their room for naps or when transporting them around your home. It saves you having two make double trips. My back really ached in those early days and I think less lifting would have made a difference.

Also, if your older kids do not already have little jobs now appropriate to their age, I would give them one or two things to learn to do. Even if it is something minor like feeding the pets.

I signed up to Quickflix. They send DVD's to your door. You can watch the latest DVD's whilst feeding on the couch and also order some DVD's for the kids to watch. I still thank God for Thomas the Tank Engine. Kept me and my 2 year old sane.

Hug a bubs are a godsend too. Great for unsettled babies.

DEFINATELY get a good pram for walking. You need to get out of the house and get some fresh air and also tire out the older siblings.

AH thank you ladies!

mybabyboy - I have invested in an ABC Twin + toddler seat so that I can flee the house if it all gets too much. I am hoping that in the morning I will load everyone up and take them to the park which is in strolling distance.

joshuakalan- I am loving the washbasket idea. DS1 is 5 and has a sticker chart with his chores so he is making his own bed, putting things away, taking out the rubbish (can't wait until there are four worker bees toiling for me )

Bec - I had a look at the ezi2nurse and I think I will grab it today. I hadn't really thought about feeding one at a time to begin with but that sounds damn sensible!! Thanks for all the other tips too. we'll go Michael Jackson style in public

mumto3princesses - i like the idea of bedding them down at the same time... there are so many othe things to do! I will certainly be trying this approach.

2plustwins - i think i'll get my mum to laminate me a sign for the front door.

Thanks again!!!

A couple of things which I found useful -

GO to bed as early as possible - we would go to bed at about 8:30pm for the first few months (the twins are 3 now and we usually go to bed at 9:30pm now)
Prepare lunch for you and your older kids in the morning, so you don't have to do it later. This is especially useful once the twins start on solids which take up a big chunk of your day.

Identify one thing to do each day in terms of housework and do that thing only. So you have time to rest or time to play with the other kids.

Washing - will probably become a mountain quite quickly, you may need to revise your current system - I originally thought that if I had heaps of clothes, wraps, sheets that it would be easier, as I would have to wash less, which turned out to be not true in a practical sense. It just meant there were more clothes to manage and I still washed every day because I didn't like soiled clothes festering in the laundry in summer.

Clothing - I cut back and had 8 outfits each (all in ones mostly and it was usually more than enough to make it through 2 days with nappy leaks, vomits spills etc) and I kept the rest in another cupboard as emergency back up.

And a tip from my sister which you can pass onto to visitors - don't expect rational decision making after 3:30 pm. When she came to stay for a couple of weeks she told me that she realised she shouldn't ask me questions about what to do in the afternoon as I would be tired and cranky myself by that stage and not able to make sensible decisions.

In terms of waking the second baby - use your instincts about how the baby reacts to being woken, is it always the same baby? - in the middle of the night my DD was usually the one being woken - she would have a very drowsy and lazy feed, go back to sleep and then about 30 minutes later (just as I would be dozing off) she would wake up and decide it was time for a proper feed, this meant that I was feeding every hour or so from about 2 am and barely getting any sleep. I stopped waking her and she ended up sleeping well at night much earlier than her brother.

Make sure you write down the milestones - sort of did but wasn't very consistent, so I can't really remember when they did things.
Good luck and enjoy it.

Excellent advice in here. Will be using some of this

(thank you to the OP for starting this topic)

Get a really good travel mug so by the time you actually get do drink your tea/coffee/hot choc etc it will only be luke warm rather than freezing!!

I often used a travel mug whilst breastfeeding. Kept my milo hot and didn't spill.

Be ultra prepared before you go to bed. (4 outfits, spare cot sheet, nappies, wipes, etc etc all laid out for the night time use) I still do this.

I never woke the other twin for a feed in the night. I would bring the awake twin into bed with me and feed him and then doze while he fed. I found Jacob slept much longer at night than Isaac and didn't need to feed as much so it wasn't worth waking him up.

What fantastic tips (love the travel mug idea!) - Mods perhaps this post would make an excellent sticky topic??


My number 1 tip is to make sure you can get out of the house, ALONE, on a reasonably regular basis. Even if it's a 15min trip to the supermarket, take the dog for a quick walk, lurk in your own backyard for a little while - it's SO important for your mental health to get away from the mayhem.