We are having BIG dramas with Chase at the moment. Extremely sooky, wanting me all the time, whinging and wanting to be carried, constantly wanting 'cuddles' etc.

I have worked out though that it is worse when I am feeding or tending to Hunter and when we go places I have to carry Hunter in. Have been trying to do one-on-one time etc. but it hasn't made a difference.

Has this happened to anyone else after SIX months! I just don't get why on earth it is happening now and not when we first brought him home.

Yep. Think about it, Hunter isn't just a little blob of humanity that eats and sleeps anymore.

He has become interactive! He can talk and wriggle about and is becoming more demanding in different ways.

Your toddlers are now seeing him as more like themselves and that means he can be perceived as more of a threat to their position in the family.

Mind you, this deep psychological response is based on no medical background (and possibly fact!!) whatsoever, just my experience of being a mama to two who were 18mths apart.

DD was fine when DS was a "blob" and really started the lap climbing, pushing DS away, demanding, "not baba" behaviour when he hit about six months.

Hi Cat

I don't have another baby so perhaps my reply is not all that relevant...but, I do have an extremely sooky, clingy, whingy, needs me all the time 2 year old. So I was wondering whether it is more about the age of the toddler than the jealousy to the baby? I have definitely noticed a big change in my little man and he is really obsessed with me. To the point where Dad can't put him to bed, change a nappy or shower him without him carrying on a treat for "Mumma do it". This morning he got really upset because he came into our room (3am mind you) and I was in the bathroom and he started to cry because "Mumma gone".

Probably not much help.....

Hmmmmmm thankyou, both of those posts are probably very relevant and real. Possibly both a stage and Hunter IS getting more child-like.

My patience is wearing thin though.....

Can I just add that it's normal for number one to regress some time after number two arrives. DD1 started doing poo in her nappies again, wanted to use the walker, sleep in the cot and have a dummy. Neither of my children have ever had a dummy! Luckily, it passed very quickly. She can be a sook & whinge a lot but it comes with the age. Delightful, isn't it!?

Good luck, I hope it pass quickly. xx

Hi Cat
My #2 and #3 are 17.5 months apart and my almost 2 year old has just recently become very demanding and throwing huge tanties when I need to tend to my nearly 6 month old also!

I know its just a phase, a very painful phase, I dont remember my eldest doing this with #2 but she could have and I have just forgotten

my mantra : "this too shall pass" ... I seem to be chanting it all the time lately

I know exactly what you mean. This is happening to us now. Like you Lil has been really good until around one month ago (twin were 5 months) Lil is driving me insane.

I don't have any suggestions but I know what you are going through.

I am hearing you all. DS is 27 months. DD is 7 months and it happened within a week of DD sitting up. It is like he realized she is competition. Before she was sitting up, she was just a toy. It is so awful. He has also decided he doesn't want day time sleeps and will not walk anywhere and will have tanties out the front of my mothers work, throwing himself on the pavement and screaming. So pleasent. Grit your teeth and bear it. I think... I hope it passes soon.

Hi Cat,
I hear ya and sorry to report that after more than 2 years now, DS1 is STILL jealous. For the first while, DS1 basically ignored the baby. He played up a bit when I was feeding, and because DS2 had reflux and was always making something dirty, DS1 probably thought I ignored him to play with the baby.

A few suggestions (you may already be doing these)
- before feeding, get #1 child food/activity/TV etc to keep him occupied/happy
- involve #1 child as much as possible with the baby
- spend some 1 on 1 time with #1 child (yes, time is precious, but need to keep the child 'balanced')

To avoid all the 'picking up' etc, I also emphasized how DS1 was as big boy and DS2 was only a baby. I'm not sure if this is really a good thing to emphasize, but it hasn't done any harm. Also before DS2 was born and when he was little, I really encouraged DS1 to dress himself and choose his own cloths, so that really helped in the mornings. (He was not toilet trained until almost 4, so that was no help )

Probably not much help but my girls are 18 months apart now 18 months and 3 years old still got the jeolousy sister rivarly happening.

18 month is very affectionist she loves sharing but when it comes to ME (Mum) its all she wants

Same goes for 3 year old although she can be mean to her sister and she hates sharing its very hard - drives me up the walls.

I don't have any advice, just wanted to say that you're not alone and I agree with earlier PPs that once the second bub becomes a little person to the first, the jealousy kicks in.

I have 16 months between the boys and since DS2 started crawling a couple weeks ago, DS1 is giving me terrible twos and then some. DS1 is at his worst when I need to feed, change or put DS2 down for a sleep. This week he has started stepping in between DS2 and I when DS2 is crawling towards me and then will step on his hands if he tries to get to me . It's definitely a mummy sharing block.


I shall be chanting this 100 times a day, I think.

Hi Cat!
I came on here tonight to post about DD#1 - and looky here.. a thread already exists!

DD#1 has been a dream big sister...until now. REALLy clingy, terrible behaviour, comes into our room up to 15 times a night wanting a "cuddle" - waking me, DH (who is on night shift anyway) and DD#2 up. When i send her back (whether it be straight away/no cuddle, or cuddle in her bed together, or cuddlein my bed then resettle, or many and varied combos of "resettling") she starts a coughing fit pretends to choke etc (melodramatic and completely put on) DD#2 is in her own room but the carryon by DD#1 wakes her up. No matter how many cuddles we give her (throughout the day too, no matter how much i play with her, talk to her, sing with her, dance with her, no matter how much praise / positive attention i give her, she is just being really naughty, really clingy, seeking attention - negative or positive, pushes DD#2 away / off the couch, (by this i mean DD#2 is crusing around furniture etc so she's push her down) not sharing "her" toys but "mummy i'm just sharing" when it comes to DD#2's toys. Ie whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine too, really ...arghhhh!

I'm at a loss as to what to do.

I asked my DH what we are doing wrong? I've tried praise, tried rewards, tried yelling / being stern EVERYTHING!

Please keep the ideas coming! I feel like we are failing as parents!

Maybe they're all teething and they need their mummies because their mouths hurt.

Jackie1966.... my 3 yr old is definitly not teething... so I don't think its that easy!! I wish it were! I think it would be pretty naive to think that we aren't "there" for our babies! We love them more than all the grains of sand in the world and would give anything to them (and do give all we have to give emotionally, physically, spiritually etc) But it is comforting to hear we aren't alone, or that is "normal" or a "phase" etc

Just a thought to answer my own question... there maybe something in it being their "growth spurt'? Maybe its growing pains as opposed to jealousy???

Either way...Any ideas (or sympathy!!LOL!!!) for CatNat, pp's or myself is greatly appreciated! LOL!!!

Contrary to popular belief, we're actually teething for the first 20 years of our lives. I think that 3 year olds are particularly painful because they're starting the teething thing all over again ... the ADULT TEETH are coming. Everyone seems to think it's all over once that last baby tooth has cut. Let me tell you, that is just the beginning. It takes 2-3 years for a tooth to form, develop and cut through the gum. I think that the growth hormones that promote their growth are behind the behaviours of our kids, particularly 3 year olds. Anyway, I won't go on about this because I don't think anyone is really with me on this view. I'll just keep it to myself and continue my observations of kids.

And, yes, I know that as mothers we would give anything for our kids. I never argued that.

I appreciate your viewpoint Jacky1966, and thank you for your insight. Catnat’s post is about 2yr, so your knowledge and ideas are extremely relevant and helpful. I have “gate crashed” her post (sorry Catnat! ) because of DD's similar behaviour, despite the fact she is 3 yrs.

However, I will reiterate my DD isn't teething. She is very articulate and would inform me (most definitely! ) if she was hurting!

Sorry if I offended you, it was not my intention.

Hi Catnat
I too have come out of this phase. My ds was 19 mths when dd was born. No worries initially! BUT then she started to crawl and take his things and it all changed.
I couldnt leave him alone with her for at least 6 months.
I tried everything, time out, praise at any opp, gave him loads of time etc... Now looking back I really dont think anything other than time has helped and him just getting older.I stressed myself out on so many occasions, I should have just realised that in some cases age and maturity are the only things that make a LASTING difference.
He is fine now (3.5), and has been for a good six months. He is not jealous and loves to have her around all the time and gets upset if she is not.They play together etc.. They still have their moments, but it is nowhere near as bad as it was and nice to watch them giggle and laugh together.

My advice to you is that this phase will pass, but it may take some time. Try not to stress about it. Have some regular time away from the kids if you can??!! Not sure if this is possible. All my family are in Ireland!!!! So I know the feeling if you dont!
But dont try and look for a quick fix, cos I think it will be up and down for a good few months yet. Just try and have some breaks.
you are doing a great job managing 3 boys so young. Well done. It is NOT easy!!
I am due no 3 in less than 4 weeks and wondering how dd (23months) is going to go. Back to square one for me!!!lol

Best of luck with it all.
You are not alone!!!!!!!!!