Latley my DS has really been rejecting my DH.

DS doesn't want DH to comfort him, or tuck him in bed or take him out of bed in morning. DS wont get out of bed until i have gone to get him. Doesn't want dads hugs or want dad to talk to him.

DH thinks DS is manipulating him. How can an almost 3 year old have such advanced manipulating skills.

I think its because DH is always at work, at his gigs, at the footy, on his mobile, at the computer, going out without us.

DS spends most of his time alone with me or at his grandfathers house. I don't like the influence the grandfather has (my father in law). My DS has picked up some behaviour that i can only attribute to the grandfather.

DH thinks its all my fault because i mother him to much. He wont acknowlege the grandfathers influnence. Also blames me for this.

Has anyone else had this experience? How did you deal with it. Your thoughs are much anticipated.

What kind of nehaviour is he picking up fromn his Grandfather?
I can't imagine a 3 yo manipulating a parent but definitely he could feel unattached for the lack of attention Dad gives him!
What kind of interaction does he have with hid son? It sounds like you need to ensure that they ARE getting some one on one time without you around to buffer or "protect" him (as DS may see it).

Kim

My DD does this. I feel for DH. He does work alot, but she loves being with him when he's free. Ours is the same at Bed time - mornings are the worst like yours she'll cry in bed saying 'no daddy' til I get up to her.
Though we don't know what causes hers..as i said it could be DH working..or it could just be a stage.
I'm hoping a stage.
Oh edited to say..sorry i still don't know what the answer is!

Hi Kim,

DS's grantfather is very aggresive towards his wife. Not physically but he is not a very kind man to her. He is great with DS but some of the things he sees and hears from him i think are having a negative impact.

For instance, the grandfather tells DS that he is going to hit/smack the dog or other things if DS shows fear. If DS does not want to talk to someone, grandfather says, don't worry i'm going to hit/smack that person.

Now DS will say to me or his dad i'm going to smack/hit you if we try to disipline DS or get him to eat his dinner or whatever.

Grandfather also gets DS to cooperate by telling him he is "sad" if DS doesn't do a particular thing. DS now tells me or his dad he is "sad" when we try to discipline him or if we want him to do something that he doesn't want to do like go to bed, have a bath, eat his dinner, go to potty. He really puts on this show about smaking us and being sad.

nikkit, i'm hoping its a phase too.

I was DH to allocate a specific time and activity which DS can look forward to but at the moment DH just wants to blame me for everything.

I'd be telling him to pull his head in and put his money where his mouth is!
If he is concerned about not having a good relationship with his son he can blame everyone else until the cows come home but he needs to buck up and spend time with his son, full stop!

As for Grandfather, have you tried to tell him that you don't want to instil the smack word/reaction into DS? You should ultimately have the final say (with DH of ocurse) about your disciplinary methods.
However, I can't see how GF actions could affect DS's relationship with his own father though!

Tell DH that he has to spend more quality time with his son and that you will be taking the opportunity to go out and live a little yourself!

Good luck!

Kim

Hi,

I cant relate, this was happening in my household as well, except my DD didnt want anything to do with DH, he tried so hard with her, wanted to do everything, and it was rejection each and every time, it was always Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!! and she made it known by yelling at the top of her voice I want mummy not you.

DH was convinced she hated him, I just kept telling him it was just a phase.

DD turned 3 in January, and she is now the biggest Daddies girl. EVER! She screams with delight each time she sees him walk in the door, wraps herself around his legs, sits with hims snuggled reading for ages.

Itll pass, FWIW DS did the same but not to the extent of DD.