a week ago today i lost my baby.. it was the exact day i turned 3 months!!
how unlucky!
i am only 19 yrs old but it was a planned pregnancy, we were so happy to have something so beautiful that we made with love growing inside of me.
i woke up at 4.30 in the morning to cramps, needing to go to the toilet i got out of bed but for the worst gush of blood all down my legs. i ran to the toilet and i think the fetus may have came out then, i screamed for my boyfriend who came running straight from deep sleep, he looked at the blood everywhere and i began crying and sobbing so loudly.john rang my mum and she said go straight to the hospital. he rang the hospital and we had to travel 15 mins to the next town. it felt like 5 hrs to get there. i was examined by the doctor internally which he had trouble cos i was so tense. he said my cervix was open and that he thought i was having a miscarriage, i cried so much. my boyfriend had to start his new job so he rushed to work all i wanted all day was him by my side but i couldnt have him. my mum came to the hospital as soon as she could. i was transported by ambulance to my home town to a bigger hospital. i was examined again with trouble and had to have an ultra sound. it was so hard watching an empty screen they couldnt see much so i had to have an internal ultrasound. there was only a little bit of haemorraging left.. i cried all day. i had to have a curette and i stayed in hospital for a total of 16 hours. it was the longest, most traumatic and worst day of my life. i was robbed of all dignity that i had left... it has been a week today and i have gone thru so much pain. people dont understand. my partner has gone to tasmania for 12 days yesterday for work and i need and miss him so much! he has been thru heaps too he bottles it all up inside but i seen him cry a few times. i want to try straight away for another baby.. to replace the one i lost.. the first few stages of my pregnancy were terrible my parents were shocked and very disapointed, they were going to be young grandparents. but they got over it and started to get so excited!! and this happens? why does everything bad have to happen to me? i had bought our first little baby bond suit and dumy. i still hold it and cry, my partner keeps hiding it from me so i wont dwell but i just feel like i need to keep finding it.. i just wanted to get everything off my chest!

It's too sad
I am sorry for your lost angel, and I am having a cry for you now

You are not alone, I went through a similar experience, it's just not fair.

hugs and kisses,
Nat

Oh, I'm so sorry. A couple of years ago I also suffered a miscarriage and I felt so sad, disappointed and empty afterwards. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. Take time to look after yourself and I hope that there will be many happy events for you in the future.
Maycee

Hi i am so sorry for the loss of your little one. I have been through the same thing. But i was alot younger than you were. I feel pregnant at 16, but i lost my child through violence and i was more than three months. I was sick for ages, i ended up shutting everyone out even the ones that were trying to help, but i didnt want to see anyone, i wanted to be alone. I now have a beautiful son Nicholas and a little girl Lily on the way. I hope you have a baby and have the love that i found when i had Nic. You can not replace the baby you lost, but you can always find love in another. Take care hun and keep you heaps up. Life will become easier

Crystal 19
DS Nicholas (06/05/04)
DD Lilliana (Due Jan 06)

omg, my heart goes out to you and you partner.
as Crystal said,you can never replace your little angel,but you will one day again have a baby that you can love.
i think the best thing to do is to maybe get some help and talk to some-one about it?
if you try and have another baby to replace the baby you just lost,you still won't feel better or have closure,as you are mourning for your baby,no amount of babies will take that away.

what you have gone through is absoloutly heartbreaking and you need to take time to heal yourself and grieve,i have actually seen posts about planting a small tree to comemorate your child's life?

take care and just know that one day you will have a gorgeous baby in your arm's that you can love and cherish,itwon't be the one you lost,but it will have it's own little personality and quirks.best of luck

thank you so much to everyone that replied to my post.. i feel alot better knowing theres support around me and people to talk to when i need it.
its good to talk to people that have gone through the experience before. mum and dad and my partner just everyone around me hasnt been through that and they dont understand, they will never ever un derstand the pain a woman goes through losing a baby no matter how young it is.

RIP my little 'jelly bean'

kisses from mummy and daddy xoxo

All the emotions you are experenicing are soo normal i had a m/c at 8 weeks last year being 18 yrs old..
and everything u said u was feeling i said exzacly the same.. so your not alone i also felt the want to have another baby asap hence my ticker! so if u do plan to try again there is hope! it might not never happen to you again... let yourself go tho the emotions.. i know its hard then if its what you want ttc again..

**soo many hugs for u ** if u wana chat my msn is lilmana@hotmail.com



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As Strange As It May Sound.. There's An Upside..

You Got Pregnant.

Believe It Or Not.. That's The Tricky Part..

Many Women M/C And Go On To Have Perfectly Healthy Babies.. So Chin Up And Keep On Practising.. You'll Get There

ME (22)
DD (4)
DS (DUE NOVEMBER)
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