Here on the World Wide Web, there's a whole world to explore, and you can find entertainment, games, music, friendships ... even romance...

But there's the flip-side to the web - where all you say, and every photo you post - unless protected - can be seen by anyone, in any part of the world.
(Including your weird neighbour who lives two houses down from you.) o: o:

And at it's darkest level, predators such as paedophiles may find their home on the web.

Do you have concerns about a lack of anonymity on the internet ? Are you wary about what you post in internet discussion forums ?

[color=teal](thanks to member Sharika, for this month's hot topic suggestion.)

This message was edited by ~Anni~ on Saturday, 15 January 2005 @ 9:34 AM

I think it is very scary thinking about who might be 'stalking' you in cyberland.
However I find it just as scary to think someone could find and stalk someone in the general community eg. playgroup, school, work etc.

I am wary about what I put on the web. However I try not to let myself become that worried that it stops what I want to say or do. For instance when I have a baby I will post what I call the baby as I will be excited and will want my EB friends to share my experience. However I do know that if someone wanted to find out who I was and where I live IRL they could do that easily, simply by knowing my child's name, DOB and what hospital it was born in. However someone could also see a birth notice in the paper and do the same thing.
I suppose what I am saying is if someone really wants to track you down, they will. I just try not to make it really easy for them by giving addresses, numbers etc.
I try not to say what town I live in simply as it is a small place and I don't want people I know IRL (particularly parents from school or my family) to know some of the personal stuff I discuss on here. If I knew there were people I know IRL on EB I might watch what I say or moan about more as they'd know who I was talking about.

Me (Cat) 25 & DH (Nathan) 24
1 cat (Ally) 1 dog (Jasper)

TTC#1- 23 looooong months
IUI X2- both failed.

2005 had better be our year.


This message was edited by catnat on Monday, 3 January 2005 @ 3:16 PM

Yes and No. I have had an invasion of net privacy twice - once a twit found my online weight loss diary (must have been bored to be tracing me around) and another time an ex found a picture and summary of DH and I on a wedding site.
Both times I was annoyed that these things that werent for those peoples eyes had been thrown back at me in an "aha, I have found you!" way - but I realise that this is the net and it was my own fault for having them on there. If you dont want people to find stuff on you, dont put it on the net!


-------------------------------

None is richer than he who simply has peace of mind.
--- Maj Wambebe

I have my pictures in places I can't even remember on the www.
I've been online since I was 16/17 (now 23) and people know where I work, some people have my old phone numbers, some have the new one (which isn't so new, its an easy number to remember, and I don't care if a psycho has it really.. as long as they don't bug me too much lol!)
If I have kids, I'd probably post piccies and their names too.. I agree with what cat said, 'cause if you put a birth notice in the paper, or whatnot.. they can easily track you down that way.
I've had exes find me online.. Hasn't bothered me. Sometimes its nice to know what goes on in their lives after we split. (Except when they rub it in your face that they have everything that you want!)
I have an online journal, and I usually post my entries as public, but if its something very close and I don't want everyone reading.. I'll put it on "friends only" or "private" which is good



Belinda - Aunt of Chloe born 27/02/04

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v172/flutterbybel/a1a737f5.gif">

I've said it before & I'll say it again. I think we should only ever say/publish on the www what we don't mind people knowing about. I was just saying to my husband that I had a minor vent about his mother while replying to a post today. I said that I'm always careful about what I say about family because you never know...they may just be members of EB themselves

I also try not to talk about friends, ex boyfriends, boss's etc., online unless what I'm saying is nice. This doesn't extend to places such as msn which are private conversations, but I'd never come to somewhere like EB & vent about a friend, once again because she could come here & read it.

Having said that, I'm not super paranoid about my identity. I know if somebody wanted to track me down they could do so just going by what I've said about my family, life in topics. I can't see anybody wanting to stalk me though, I'm not that interesting...lol.

I know a bit about the internet & have seen people's signatures & checked the properties & gone & visited the member's website. Sometimes you can read about their family & or see more photos of their family this way. I don't do it because I'm some whacko, but I'm just nosey I think anybody using the internet & publishing photos should realise that people can do this. They can also do a whois search if you own a domain name. I have a couple of domain names but have paid to have my details remain anonymous so people can't get a hold of my home address. Just simple precautions like that all help.

I also think it pays to be careful in relation to p*ssing people off. Sure, I've done it in the past but try not to do so now. I've seen people really badly hurt because somebody in cyberland is mad at them. So, I'm not 100% myself anymore, I don't tend to speak out as much as I used to...partly because I don't want to p*ss off strangers & partly because I just can't be bothered anymore

I honestly think it's too easy to build up a profile of a person just by reading their old posts. We should all be aware of this & use common sense in relation to what we say. Having said that, there are whacko's in all walks of life. Who's to say that somebody didn't spot me or my DD at the supermarket & decide to stalk us? It's not just the internet we have to worry about.

DD Holly 29/5/2003
No. 2, EDD: 8/1/05

[img]http://preg.fertilityfriend.com/pregticker/3f4fb/[/img]

This message was edited by ~Julia~ on Monday, 3 January 2005 @ 7:24 PM

Basically what Julia said.. LOL

I am very aware of how public the WWW so as a result only post what I would generally tell people anyway, I also try to post positive things about people.. you never know who is reading.

As for predators and the like.. nah they don't bother me, as has been said, I could be singled out at the supermarket, work or the daycare car park. I don't believe I am more vunerable because I am on a public forum.

I'm another (obviously) who tries to play it close to
their chest.

I'd like to think that only someone who knew me
personally would be able to pick me, and that a random
nutter would have difficulty.

I never post anything that's googlable to me, and my
baby already has an alias (what better use for names
you can't use IRL?).

Just in case a real life friend 'finds' me, I don't
ever vent about something I wouldn't want them to
know. For example, the other day I vented about a
friend being smug about her fertility. I REALLY want
her to read it, and find out how cruel and hurtful
what she said is, but didn't have the guts to say it
in the conversation (was a bit too gobsmacked,
really).

I won't be posting pics of my baby's face.

Expat
Sometimes "be yourself" is
the worst advice you can
give.

I am personally not too worried about it. Although, I don't post *I live at xxx and my phone number is xxx* there are people here who have all this information and more about me - when in some cases I have never met them.

There are some nutty people out there (well here ) as we have all seen in the past - anyone can be anyone.

I have a friend who was continuously getting emails from numerous *different people*; all of which had the same IP address.

My friend simply approached the persons Internet service provider with the information she had and made a formal complaint about harrassment. Dunno what happened after that, but it seems to have stopped.

So I guess, in a roundabout way, I am saying that *everything* is traceable and that you are NEVER as anonymous as you like to think you are.

Myself, I'm not particulary worried about it. And I have to agree with Serene -





This message was edited by Shel on Tuesday, 4 January 2005 @ 7:25 AM

Makes sense that my first 'new' post should be on this subject. I have recently had my whole EB membership deleted and made a fresh start.

As others have said I'm not so concerned about predators, if people want to harass you they will with or without the web.

For me it was the fact that every time I googled the same of my son's disability and selected Austrlaia only, I got my own posts from EB. This was a bit of a wake up call for me. So whilst I have no problem with anyone knowing who I am, I intend to exercise a little more discretion with what I post about my personal life.

I didn't want the professionals that treat my son to stumble across me whilst researching his condiiton on the www. and discover all sorts of interesting little tidbits about me.

So thats my reason, I'll be a lot less naive in future about what I post.



Love
Paula xx
(same person, fresh start)

I'm a bit like Julia and Expat I guess. I try not to
give out too much info as I'm very aware of Google!!
I do sometimes wonder if being a bit cagey on EB
can also make you seem a bit dodgy???

I find it interesting that some people aren't too
worried about the nutbags that can read what we
post. I recently did a search of someone who was
around before I joined who often is referred to
because I wanted to know what the fuss was all
about. It did make me realise there are some
seriously disturbed people out there, who I
wouldn't want turning up on my doorstep!

I agree that you can just as easily be stalked at the
supermarket etc, but the thing about the www is it's
all there at someone's fingertips and requires very
little effort. I think everyone should be careful.

Take care
Shelley

I'm not sure that someone posting many details makes
me less sceptical of them. Trolls generally tend to go
overboard on details, in any case - if it's all false,
why would they care what they reveal?

But it's an interesting question - if I'd told you my
name was Joanne and I live in Bowral and have two kids
called Barry and Trevor would it make my posts more
'real'?

Expat
Sometimes "be yourself" is
the worst advice you can
give.

I always think why would I give out certain information on a public site that I wouldnt give out to a stranger on the street. So any information that I give would be information that I would share with a casual aquaintence.

I've met some sensational people via www, including my DP. The www has to be treated just like you would treat anyone you met in day-to-day life.

I'm certainly not paranoid about my identity here, and if someone wants to find me then they will and there isnt really much that can be done about it. Of course it wont be particularly exciting unless they are super interested in charting LOL.

Its been said before but I'll say it again - if you dont want people to know about it, dont put it on the web.


Regards
Carla

I think the big difference between someone 'stalking' you on the web and stalking you in real life is that in real life all they would know is what you look like, whereas on message boards they could know so much more.

I tend to stay fairly anon, except for one site only, which I only use rarely and am less open there.

SOme people on here know my name and address, mainly those I've dealt with in trade or similar.

But otherwise I think only someone who knew me in real life could pick me and then they couldn't be 100% sure!

I change my kids details a little and try to never give out my suburb in a post. I don't use our names and I don't post photos (though I would love too!)

But I am fairly true to who I am.

I don't worry too much, but I do keep myself aware of it.

*****Tilly - Mum to one school girl, one school boy, one toddler and one on the way! ******

I don't feel comfortable putting pictures of either myself or my children on EB/web. There are some disturbed people out there and I especially would not want my children targetted by any paedophiles. You are kidding yourself if you think it would be hard for them to find you. I am not going to help them along by giving them photo's of my children.

I know alot of EB'ers would disagree with my sentiments and have no problem in posting pics.

I know people who have worked for DOCS and Child Protection and they would back me 100%

I don't give any specific info about anything and I try to be vague. I'm sure that someone who knew me intimately might say "Oh, that is so and so..." but I do try to make sure my information cannot be linked in any way.

Another big thing is identity fraud and it is on the rise. I sometimes shake my head at some of the information that people put on the net.

Call me cautious or over cautious but while the net is a wonderful thing, mis-used it can be down right dangerous. Anyone who thinks otherwise is naive.

Elizabeth

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://lilypie.com/baby1/050308/3/15/1/+10" alt="Lilypie Baby Birthday" border="0" /></a>

Me
DH
Little Miss - 6 years.
Little Man - 9 months.

This message was edited by mumonthego on Tuesday, 4 January 2005 @ 11:46 PM

Expat, you're right - the tangled web of deception
does seem to eventually trip up the trolls. But I do
think initially revealing personal details makes
some people more likely to respond to posts -
perhaps it's something to do with mutual
disclosure of info building trust. And I mean the
"I'm Joanne from Bowral" kind of disclosure, not
the "I'm home-birthing quintuplets next week, do I
need a midwife?" approach!

Take care
Shelley

This message was edited by pinkgirl on Wednesday, 5 January 2005 @ 10:32 AM

When I think of child sexual predators I am sickened to the stomach and therefore I want to learn about them as much as possible. I want to know how they get close enough to our kids to abuse them. I want to know how they choose a child, I want to know all the related statistics and most of all I want to know what I can do to prevent such assaults of my child.
I realise that a predator cruising the web looking for kids, spotting my child, sliming their way into our lives and then abusing my child is a low risk. First of all I assume they wouldn't bother unless they saw a child they liked the look of (therefore I will never post photos) and our location was easily uncovered. Secondly the child would need to live close enough to the predator to take the time and energy it requires to build up a trusting relationship. I also understand that 90% of reported assaults are from someone already close to the child. So again with such a low risk of my child being targeted from a stranger through the www, befriended and then ultimately abused why do I worry? Because it happens and I am going to do all I can to prevent such an assault.
Please visit www.breakthroughoptions.com
Its got a huge amount of information about how to keep our kids safe. The site has a profile of an abuser with some gut wrenching write ups from self confessed pedophiles. It has a colouring book for kids aged 3-5 and then 5-11 which features bert the butterfly and teaches protective behaviours. It talks about internet predators and chat rooms where they disguise themselves and gives information about how to stay safe on the net. Its well worth the visit.
Stay safe...

I think it makes sense to not divulge too much information about yourself on the web.
There are people on this site who I know way too much about simply from reading posts. i know surnames, childrens names and dob, the schools they attend the cars they drive etc etc


Bron
DD Talesha
DD Caitlin
DD Erin
http://photobucket.com/albums/v332/Nentiko.../th_images9.jpg

yes I am careful.

I never use the same username on other forums so I am untraceable that way.

I dont reveal my real name (although a select few know it) no-one knows where I live, or my phone number (same select few have my mobile but not my home number) and I talk about first names only of kids, not last names or middle names and DH is unknown here as well.

I am careful about my kids pics on EB now (see they are facing each other and not looking at the lense) although in my MG I am less careful as that site is protected.

Im wary and dont use my real name on my signature. Purely because I wouldnt like someone to read what I write and realise that they know me. I dont want work colleagues or wives of DH's friends realising they know me and reading what Im up to. If Im at EB why wouldnt they be here too?

Besides that I dont mind people knowing my personal details, I have lots of online friends. Its a matter of being cautious to start with. The internet is like real life, there are loonies and there are normal everyday people. There are people you click with, and people you dont. Keep personal details private until you feel you trust someone.

autumn - 35
DH - 35

TTC#1 since February 2004
M/C July 2004 10 wks

Privacy on the Web - no such thing. Having said that I probably reveal more than I should and I know that I'm trackdownable as someone has already done it. I've been on-line for about 7 years now and swing between being ultraparanoid to telling my life story - literally!

I have an on-line blog but I use a different name for that. I am fairly cagey about what I write on there, it's more about my feelings and thoughts. Have made a lot of good friends through it. Having said that it probably wouldn't be too hard for someone from here to find it now that they know about it.

Like Expat, I think that I will probably continue to refer to our DD as Godot, even though that's not what we are going to call her!

As an aside, I met my DP on-line, but it turned out that we were born in the same little country town and went to school together.

FWIW Keren, I remember that you mentioned your suburb because you live just across the river from me. I thought to myself that you might be a good person to ask about schools in this area! I'm not stalking you though!



<center>
Candi - 27 : DP - 27
2xDCats : 2XDDogs
Godot, due 18th Jan! I knew she was going to be a girl!

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://lilypie.com/days/050118/2/24/1/+9.5" alt="Lilypie Baby Days" border="0" /></a></center>

can anyone tell me how to post a photo and make it protected so people cant copy it? please

i too play my cards close to my chest,i have been stalked on the net before, by an old friend who cant let go of the past..


fi
xx

I'm probably more secretive her than other sites I frequent, mainly cos EB is such a big site and you don't know *who* is reading Once we have told all our friends about being pregnant I will start posting as me but I would hate for someone to accidently find out here befoer we see them and tell them in person.
I tend to be fairly open with information I give, but not address, phone no's etc, but I'll tell you about my job, our hobbies, clubs etc quite freely.
Simply, there is no such thing as privacy on the web, so if you don't want peope to know/find out things - don't put it here..

<font color="#003399">Me (29)<br>Him (34)<br>2 dog kids<BR>#1 child due 23/08/05</font>

Oh yeah it totally aggree.. it can be a very scary world out there.. and only honeslty relised how scary the other day when talking to a customer about it all... she joined this chat room and started chatting t this guy one night.. they became good friends and she was told that he lived o/s... next thing she was getting strange calls, flowers to her work. in the end he became that obsessed he showed up to her house.. claiming he loved her blah blah.. all along lived in the next suburb and was watching her for months..

I honestly thought we were safe.. stupid i know but i kinda believed this crap only happended on the movies..



Our little princess.....
http://au.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jessmatt7/my_photos

hi, I only realised how unprivate stuff you post is. I was looking for 1 of my posts and the eb search engine was being modified so I looked it up on google and was mortified that my posts were on there plus other peoples posts under my username[other people had my username] in other countries.

So I stopped being forward in my postings and if I want to divulge details in a post I pm the person at least that offers me a little protection and its not as if I need to hide because I'm being mean its just you dont know these days. karenjane

I think it is important not to give out your full name, or where you live. Or anything else that could identify you as some one specific.

I would be wary about posting photo's of my children too.

- Samara

This message was edited by Samara on Tuesday, 11 January 2005 @ 2:05 PM

Re the photos, there are some very good photo sites that do offer a high level of privacy ie you can restrict viewers to family and friends rather than put them in the public domain and set up 'by invitation' groups. I have my photos on flickr which I am currently raving about for just that reason.

Donna

Donna

Hanna 15/4/2001

Patrick 29/4/2004

When I 1st joined EB it was tiny so even though I would never give out my last name address etc I did give out my DS's name & such. I also did have his photo in my sig.

A few months ago that changed. I changed my username & didnt give out my real name anymore although Im sure most would know. I also dont write DS's name unless it is in my MG. Im not sure why but I feel safe there :confuse:

Why the change? Reading about all the stalking & fighting & general b*tching made me want to be more anon. Plus a really good friend found my diary & yes shes a really close friend but she specifically searched for it & read it in detail! Made my eyes open up a bit.

I have only just given my mob number to a friend in my MG & this is after having met her heaps of times.

With baby #2 Im not sure if I will give out his/her name. I'll see how I go when the time comes

*Me & 2 Boys*

EDD #2 16/08/05

I think those who are too open as such show links with their last names and use their first name, also give too much info on where they lived ect or got married .. are leaving them self open for stalking etc.. i know i have a like for my dd's pics etc but no one has her last name.. my phone number is private, i have never said my last name and never will..

I worry especially when they are new some really give out too much .. photos of them and their partners their bubs and most of all as i said their first and last names

Our little princess.....
http://au.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jessmatt7/my_photos

It is all very interesting reading all the posts on this topic.

I am now more cautious as to what i post after being tracked down. I too deleted my sig and any info that could lead to people working out my id. I was that scared after i was contacted that i was sick and the fact that i lied about my identity compounded all of this.

I spoke (in person) to a couple of very close friends about what had happened and they were mortified that i was contacted about something i had posted. I never told my immediate family, except dh, as i didnt want them to think i was some kind of chat room freak.

In saying that though, i treasure the people that i have "got to know" and value the opinions and comments - on line that is.

This being a public forum made me realise that you never know who is out there and what there motive is. But i believe that contacting someone by phone without invitation when you have figured out their id is a definite no no and a definite breach of privacy.

More the wary

kbear

<a href="http://preg.fertilityfriend.com/pages/6c727">
<img border="0" src="http://preg.fertilityfriend.com/pregticker/6c727/preg.png"></a>

I never used to be careful about what i posted. There were a few people IRL that knew i frequented this site, but it never bothered me. I always just assumed the wouldn't look me up - and even if they did they'd find it pretty boring.

I am in process of separating with my H, and he informed me a couple of days ago that he had been reading my posts. To me this was a major invasion of privacy. He knew i used EB as a source for support and information.

Needless to say, i deleted my membership and now use a new ID. I will not have any info in my sig either. For now on i'm going to try and put out as least info as possible. TBH it's not the weirdos that i'm afraid of reading my posts, it's the people i know.

I too am wary about the personal information I post, but still think it is more likely that I will be stalked by someone IRL, rather than online, unless someone takes exception to my stance on a particular issue etc. I prefer not to mention my location as I live in a small town now, if I was still in the big smoke I would be more relaxed about that. Personal info I do mention, I try to do in spaced out posts rather than all in one post.

None of my friends or family know I post on this site, they know I belong to an online support group, thats all. My thinking is then if they come across my posts they probably will not recognise me, and I feel more freedom to discuss my MIL etc this way. My DS name is unusual, I will probably mention it here and there, but not as a general course of action. Having worked with computer programmers for three years, I think if someone really wanted to track you down it would be very easy anyway, with the amount of info already out there.

One thing I always think of is that one of the most common passwords for banks etc is kids birth dates, if I was a computer literate credit card thief I think a site such as this would provide quite a bit of useful information if you got hold of credit card names and numbers (I am not by the way, this was just a thought)!

Cheers,

Pandora

DS born 13/1/05 - yipee!!

I'm changing my sig! Also, how do I change my username?? Not because I'm worried about privacy, just don't like it, and never gotten around to changing it. Thanks.

Erin 28 yrs. Married
Baby #1 Emma Rachel 9/11/02
Baby #2 Benjamin Michael 13/11/04

This is a hard one to know.

Part of me thinks that if someone REALLY wanted to stalk me or hunt me down, they could certainly do so without the WWW

I guess the thing is, that the WWW would make it a heck of a lot easier, if they were to try such a thing.

Having said that though, I have not gone to great lengths to disguise my identity from anyone IRL who stumbles onto EB. My previous username was too identifiable, so I changed it, but my sig is still a giveaway for anyone that knew me before...

I have a website with family photos and stuff, but I don't pass out the location to many people, though I haven't exactly made it secure.

I guess I probably should be more security/privacy conscious on the web. I think personal emails are likely to be intercepted, and many people assume those are totally private - well I can tell you they aren't! I assume most of what I say would be boring to someone else, and that more than security etc is what keeps it private.

I will be more concerned about my kids when they are the age to use the computer. That is the time I'll be starting to 'net nanny' things and teach them what information they should not give out. I'm sure my kids are a more likely target than me. I'll be careful to teach my kids about 'stranger danger' and that will include time spent on the WWW in it's many forms. To me, it's just the modern version of stranger danger.

TWH



Me - 32
DH - 31
"Prume-prume" 1st baby
EDD 27th Feb 2005

This message was edited by tinyweehen on Tuesday, 25 January 2005 @ 12:39 PM

I have also been on the receiving end of somebody I knew very well stalking my posts and using it against me.

I found it the ultimate betrayal. In the past I used this website as a means of support and made a lot of friendships here. I too contemplated deleting my membership, but after much thoughts decided against it.

The funny thing is, she also posts at a forum which I KNOW I could search on her username, read and use it against her, but I wouldn't do that to her.

So yes unfortunately now for me, I no longer have my picture of my beautiful child on this site and don't really divulge much information because I cannot trust the people I know.

How sad.



**better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to post and remove all doubt**

yes and no. my sister won't let me put any pics of her family on the internet (so i respect her wishes) but as you can see i like having pics of mine. I'm pretty easy to track down as i'm in the phone book etc but i'm not really worried about it. maybe that's tempting fate but in 8 years of being on the internet i haven't had a problem yet...

[center][b][size=1]Ryan :: 20 m [img]http://tinyurl.com/6k6kh[/img][img]http://tinyurl.com/66waf[/img] Emelia :: 20 w
My Scrapbook Pages

I'm not too concerned about it.
I figure if someone is going to "trace" me and get my email addy/ip/whatever - then they obviously have NO life and are just big tosspots!



<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v368/metnlam/Sweetcopy.jpg">

"He who laughs last didn't get it." --Helen Giangregorio

I am not the best person to comment on this right now, but I just wanted to say to people - if your privacy is breached online, there ARE avenues to follow to track down and prosecute the hacker/stalker.

Microsoft are really good to deal with I have found, and eager to help once you proove your identity (by pretty full on ways). The police are also responsive and are able to trace all sorts of stuff that I was surprised by!

If you have been stalked, harrassed or had security breached in any serious way, you can do something about it.

[img]http://www.snugglepie.com/cb/4731[/img]

In my previous job I was assistant manager to someone who spent their life at home on the web. He called himself "the hacker" and prided himself on being able to hack into most secure websites... including banks and such like. I must admit he came in very handy when my lap top developed a fault, but I recently found out from his ex wife who is a good friend of mine - and this is going back to 2000 - that not only had he been tracking my every move on the internet when I was on line at home, he had set up cameras around his house and had filmed me taking a bath (at their house) before the company ball - sick in itself - and downloaded its contents to his own "stash" on the web. Now, bearing in mind that he was the webmaster for an amateur porn site, I hate to think how many people saw that! I have since wondered how many of my colleagues were treated to the spectacle of me in all my glory!
My son is due in April and I have wondered how much he will be subjected to when he starts experimenting with this computer. I know it will be a few years yet, but I can't monitor every web site and link site he will look at. I am seriously contemplating looking into cyber-nannies. We are fortunate that we have a pop-up blocker on our ISP.
Scary isn't it? o: :gasp: