I didn't know how to title this one, and I'm probably going to find it hard putting this in words, and babble unnecessarily. DS is 2 1/2, and has always been very active. On a good day, I say that this is great, we are lucky that he has this great energy, and is able for the most part, to use the safe space in the backyard to get rid of it all!

On a bad day however, generally when we go out, I find it hard to accept why he can't just stand still with me, while waiting for something, why I have to have a vice-like grip on his wrist when we are shopping or wandering somewhere, or otherwise be chasing him around like an idiot (me, not him!)

We went to a local Rail Museum recently, which he absolutely adores. We have an Annual Pass, and the Easter Bunny was making an appearance so off we go with a friend, and her DD same age.

So they are wandering around nicely, or sitting and doing some of the craft activities , and DS is running around to get into the play area and play with his beloved 'toot toots'. He then gets bored with that, and runs off to the next activity of his choosing, while I yell back to my friend, the next meeting place.

I suppose it was mainly that we were with other people, and he really isn't thinking of the others (a toddler after all) but why can't we just look around relaxing and enjoying our friends' company? Instead most of the days is tantrums, because I am holding him back, or running around.

We are in a Mothers Group of 5 girls and DS, so I have all but decided to stop going, as I just get more upset each time, they play so differently. We meet at eachother's homes, and it has been warm weather, so mainly inside play, but he is just climbing the walls, while the girls have a lovely tea party. He will join in for a short time and then he's off.

I started going to a local playgroup 12 months ago, in the hope of fostering some male friendships for him. This has worked to an extent, and we started meeting up with two of the mums and their boys. One of the boys is as active, if not more, than DS but he has a much more relaxed mum in terms of limits placed on him. They are lovely, but I just don't want my DS to get confused.

I get told I am too hard on DS by family and some friends, but I would prefer that to letting him go wild. I think he definitely needs strong limits in place, or he has the ability to go too far. If I don't hold on to him, in a crowded public place, he can be gone in a matter of seconds. Interestingly, he does seem to respond well to being in the pram, or car restraint or any other type of limit, but it's like he sniffs out any sort of freedom, otherwise, and he's off.

I know a lot of this is normal, I really do, but I spose I am wanting to be reminded of why his energy is a good thing, and how I could direct him to use it for good, not evil. LOL

Very sorry for the ramblings, any help or positive ideas appreciated. Gee, I just read through this, and it sounds awful, I do love my DS so much, some days are just harder than others, aren't they?

Thanks,
Kath.

I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. DS1 is exactly the same.

I love him dearly and wouldn't want him to be any other way, but just occassionally I'd really love a break!

My DS is exactly the same some days I just can't handle him. He is 3 and 4mths old he is still in the pram when we go out because he would be running around wild if he wasn't.

Thanks frae and rolla_coupe. I suppose because we have much more to do with little girls, than boys his age, it's all the more obvious, isn't it? They are such different creatures!

I have one of those too!

My first boy is an angel then following my wild boy is a girl. Poor kid will always be known as Demolition Boy at this rate.

Just stop comparing... biggest mistake ever. Only makes YOU feel bad. He doesn't care! And surround yourself with people that recognise and support you and your wonderful spirited child for who he is.

It's not just boys! At this age my DD sounds exactly the same as your boys. I guess we just have to ride it out and yes sometimes it would be nice just to have a rest and be able to relax and have a nice outting without chasing her around and watching her constantly.

It gets me so frustrated sometimes watching other kids be so well behaved when mine is not!

You aren't alone, at least there are others 'suffering' with you!

Leia.

Hi,
I don't quite fit in here yet DS will be two in 4mths but he is the same, soooooooo full of energy, he just doesn't stop. I don't really have any advice but it was nice to hear that others have the same problems. I know what you mean, I cannot go to the shopping center and sit down and have one coffee in peace if DS is with me, he will sit and eat something but then he is off or trying to climb on the table etc.....

And yep, you certainly don't want him running away from you in a shopping center so totally understand that. At the moment Joshua has more freedom when we are out but once he get bigger and older and its not as easy for me to pick him up,chase him etc more boundaries will be put into place.

Not sure where you live but there seems to be more and more sports programs happening for kids from 2.5 up! Maybe something like that would be good for DS, help get some of the energy out, even if it is one day a week.

We live in our backyard!!!! I am dreading winter. Joshua will sit still to watch a bit of Bob the Builder or Boo and that is about it!

Sarah xo

I hope the mothers of those girls will forgive me, but they sound so boring! I think I'd be worried if DD1 sat around and played tea parties!! She'd much rather run around wreaking her own special kind of havoc

I have placed a few limits on her recently, and when she's out with just me (DD2 is at home with DH) then she's allowed to walk ONLY if she holds my hand, and then she gets in a trolley when we reach the trollies. I find that narrating every step of our journey for her works wonders, and now she is fully aware of what to expect she actually seeks out the trolleys and gets excited at getting in! I have to keep moving the entire time though, or make sure I've got food because she gets bored so easily. Mostly I just chat to her constantly and tell her what we're buying and if she wants it now I explain that we have to put it in the trolley so we can pay for it at the checkout.

If I'm out with both girls by myself, they both stay in the pram as much as possible. I try to keep them entertained with things to look at or play with or food to eat if we're out around mealtime.

I know what you mean about them being so individual though. DD1 was so placid and independent until she reached 10 months then became wild (and the independent streak widened), and DD2 has been a handful since birth (not wild, but very clingy and needy) but has a gentle nature like her daddy. They play really well together and DD2 has crawled and walked so much earlier than DD1 just to keep up!!

I love DD1's boundless energy and constant curiosity about the world and wouldn't change her (but sometimes I wish I could give her back for a few hours )

My DS1 is the same.

At 2-3 years I pulled my hair out with him. People did not understand what it was like to live with him and be with him all the time. They didn't understand that a shopping trip was simply exhausting (esp as he was 2.5 when I had #2)

We have him on a super strict diet which I must say has helped him heaps. But it doesn't change the fact that he has energy stored in every little part of his body and he simply never runs out.

Ryan thrives on strong boundaries also. At play group I was never one of the mums sitting having coffee, I was always following him from one end of the yard to the other. He needed so much guidance and watching to make sure he didn't get himself into trouble. I always had to stay within arms reach of him at the playgorund, if he got too much of a head start on me he could get away.

Take heart though, it does get easier He's now 4.5 and he is okay to take shopping etc, and his high energy means that now we can take him to do things and he just keeps going and going (like the energiser bunny) He has started Kindy and is doing well, although no surprise his teacher reports that he is very active and can be a little bit too much for other kids at times.

As some one else said, their constant curiosity is a real treat, and the things that will come out of his mouth will amaze you. They are explorers and in doing so they absorb so much of the world. That truly is a good thing.

In the meantime, hang in there and put those feet up when you can! Good luck

Wow, thanks everyone!!!

There are some great ideas there, I can sooo relate to all these stories.

They do seem to have limitless amounts of energy, but another upside is that DS has always been a really good sleeper. He'll be 3 in July, and still has a day sleep of around 2 hrs and 11 hours of a night. I tend to put the feet up while he recharges for the next round!

Thanks again,

Hi. I have a high energy chatterbox son myself. He is sooo cute, and comes out with the funniest things.

We often get some strange reactions to his outgoing nature. He is totally not shy,
DS will say hello to every child we see and adults too.
I really can't let him out of my sight for the fear of stranger danger. I try to teach him about it, but not working just yet.

Last year I used to be quite embarassed with the energy levels, i've found a lot of people see this high energy as "naughty" behaviour, when it isn't. I think some people just aren't used to having active kids and when they do because the "active" child is different from theirs they immediately assume "out of control" "naughty".

Its sad really. I think high energy and the motivation means these active kids will really go far in life.

You've all described DS to a tee!

We go out for coffee, he's content to sit for 2 minutes. Off he goes, slides off the chair, goes to the next table, picks up the mobile phones, pretends to talk into them..then its the sugar packets, walking around saying hi to anyone with a face . Once he's had enough, he'll simply walk out with me gulping back a hot coffee and running at full speed just to catch him before runs out to the road.

I too find that shopping is a chore with him unless I talk to him constantly about what Im doing. He also needs to be in the trolley, otherwise he heads straight to the "choyette" aisle and helps himself..and doesnt understand why nasty mummy wont let him open the 375 gm bar of cadbury's then and there. He now sits in the trolley - and I let him keep my list which makes him feel special. Anything I want off the shelf, I give it to him first, then he puts it into the trolley. We point out and label different things, we count the aisle numbers as we go, we smile and wave at passers by. When he waves from the trolley, its a bit like the pope waving from the pope-mobile. But Im happy cos he's in one spot and not throwing a tantie.

And people wonder why Im not contemplating having a second child!!!

Hi,

My DS1 is very similar, and I don't like him going "wild"at the shops, however my husband doesn't like to what he calls keep him caged, ie hold his hand. He now knows that he is to be well behaved with mummy and DS2, whilst he can have a bit of a run around with daddy. I give him one chance to say walk next to the stroller, if he runs the first time he is in it!!!!! This is working for us and his behaviour at the shops has improved ten fold over the past month. He is only 27 months too though, don't forget they are only young and will grow out of it eventually!!!!! Even at daycare (2 days pw)they love his energy and remark that he does everything in fast motion. He is not naughty, just active and very happy.........

Thelma

My DS is also very active. When its not raining I just let him run loose in our backyard. Our backyard is like a soccer ground all grass and no garden so its safe for him. He only has an 1hr sleep during the day and sleeps 11hrs at night.

For those with active sons what have you found is the best form of discipline? Does the naughty chair/corner work? Do they sit still long enough to take effect? With the Easter break coming up I want to trysome sort of discipline techniques such as the naught corner but not sure if it will work with such an active child.

What do you think?

Time out/naughter corner works well with DS. We had to be consistent, and for the first few weeks I sat with him in the naughty corner just so that he would sit too. Now when I give him a warning about time out, he usually ceases his naughty behaviour and displays the correct behaviour. But for active little kids like ours, you'll probably find yourself at times sitting in the naughty corner while your child has run off!

I found quiet corner worked with Ryan when he was younger. For a while it was the portacot set up in the corner (Until he climbed out of it!) Then it became a step. Now with two of them and most of the time they're both in trouble at once so they go to their rooms. My boys rooms are beds, clothes and a chair. No toys (bedrooms are upstairs and they never go there and if we put toys in there they just bring them down stairs to play).

The other thing is lots of positive praise. Ryan thrives on it, always has. Also when he was 2-3 and so inquisitve we found showing him how things worked often satisfied him and stopped him touching them.

Needless to say our house is totally "child proof" so that we don't battle much over not touching things. That would be simply too much to ask and not worth the hours a day I would spend doing it!

I know exactly what you mean my 2.5yr old DD is exactly the same. She actually knocked out most of her front tooth yesterday climbing on something when i just couldnt get to her quick enough, we spent her 2nd birthday at the children's hospital having her mouth stitched up. She rides the side of the trolley while i am trying to shop and says 'look mummy its a horsey'.
The list just goes on and on for us but everyone that meets her just loves her, she has such a funny personality and has been charming people since she was a baby!
I suppose it also has its advantages, she sleeps like a log, can hit a golf ball with a kids golf stick, she can lift her own weight with her own body strength, she can catch a ball, kick a football, do forward rolls, is attempting cartwheels and is a whiz on the trampoline so we are hoping that something good will come out of this!!!!
She is not definitely not naughty though, she just cannot stand still for a second, she cannot sit on the lounge she has to balance on the arm of it standing on one leg!
I find it frustrating and hard when we go out in confined quarters especially with my friends none of whom have any children bar one who has an angel DD who never moves off the spot and does colouring in for two hours.
I have learned to accept my DD the way she is and do things to suit her personality now and i find i am much less anxious.
She is also getting better with age and things are not near as bad as 6 months ago, so i am hoping by the time i have this baby at the end of the year that things will have calmed a bit more again.
MIL tells me that DH was exactly like this so i always blame him!



this is my life described to a tea!

I really don't know where to begin with my son. He is a happy, good natured and kind-hearted softy, but he is also OUT OF CONTROL!! I have always been too frightened to take him out of the house with the exception of the park. He is soooooooooooo active, wild, naughty, disobedient, etc, etc.

He is 3 years old and every single day in the last 3 years have been UNBELIEVABLE. We also have sleep issues, doesn't want to sleep, wakes up 3+ times a night, wants to sleep in our bed, ready to start the day or 4 or 5am - it doesn't end.

Sometimes when he is so active he ends up being delirious. Anyway, I have always had to keep my eye on him, follow him EVERYWHERE ALWAYS - we have had a couple of near misses so I won't let him out of my sight. For eg., I once opened the front door and walked to the letter box (five steps) and by the time I got there he raced out of the front door and straight on to the road, needless to say I nearly had a heart attack. The falls on his head, bruises, chipped teeth, are a usual for us.

Boundaries have worked really well for him. I am very stricked compared to all other mums I know but he is also the most active child I know. I have been consistent with all rules and discipline and we are in a strict routine each day otherwise he'd NEVER eat, bathe, sleep, get dressed, brush teeth, etc. We had the naughty chair when he was younger but kept leaving it so now he is in his room for time-out and this works well. The other thing that works well for him - and I know it's not the best technique - is bribery. I just tell him to do 'x' and we'll go to park, or do 'y' and he can have a cookie. works a treat.

I can't add anything to help, but I really feel for you all.

Sorry, I don't know how to quote PPs, but saldal,

'I have learned to accept my DD the way she is and do things to suit her personality now and i find i am much less anxious.'

this is what I needed to hear, as well as realising I am not the only one.

Consequences like missing out on an activity, or leaving something early work really well with DS, but sometimes I find I react too strongly and he is left confused, just because I am left frazzled. eg, We left a playdate early recently as I was near tears at his extraordinary energy, when he really did nothing wrong, and hurt noone, but I just couldn't cope.

Thanks everyone, I really don't believe that DS is naughty with this behaviour, just active and easily excitable, but felt others may think he is.