When I was pregnant with DS, DH basically gave me a choice of two names for him - Alexander or William. I liked them, but I also like more unusual and slightly more modern names. But we went with Alexander and I love it. We decided in my pregnancy that we would use Alex for short, or even Alec as DH has a lisp

However, DH is now insisting that he wants to call him Xander. I have no objection to this name per se, but it goes against what we decided. And it's slightly more "modern". I guess it irks me that he wouldn't consider more modern names when I was pregnant but he wants to use one now.

I don't really care what he calls DS when he is older, but at the moment we are trying to get him to recognise his name. And you've got me going to him "Alex, Alex!" and DH is yelling from across the room "Xander, Xander!" I don't want the poor kid confused as to why different people are calling him different names. And we agreed more than a year ago what his name would be. All of a sudden the kid is about to turn one and I find he's being called something I never agreed to and don't want to use.

So WDYT? Do I have the right to tell DH what he can call his son?

ETA: Just to clarify, this is what DH wants *everyone* to call DS, not just a private nickname that he uses. When people ask me what DS's name is I say Alexander and if they ask whether it's Alexander or Alex or Alec or Xander or AJ, I tell them usually Alex. However, several times now people have stopped us in the supermarket etc., and when asked DS's name, DH jumps in and says Xander. I wouldn't mind if he said "It's Alexander, but I call him Xander". It's as if DH wants to change the kid's birth certificate. I have a private nickname for DS too, but when people ask me his name I tell them it's Alexander, not Bubbylicious.

I'm sorry, but I don't think you have a right to tell him what to call his son. Perhaps, sit down calmly and explain your concerns.

My mum used to call me Dida and my dad called me Can. I survived it

We thought that we might call Willow Billie as a nickname, but it's never really eventuated...

Yeah while I think he'll survive being called different names,
I can understand your frustration with dh.

I'd sit down and talk to him about it, but hey if he doesn't agree then there won't be any lasting damage, so don't stress!

Goodluck!

I can also understand your frustration but i doubt that your little guy will be confused he will associate each nickname to each individual e.g he will know alex is you calling him and xander is daddy's nickname for him!.. (just my 2c worth anyways) but if it irks you so much i agree you should talk to your DH in private about it but dont have a domestic over it pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. best of luck mate..

Okay, thanks for that guys! You've confirmed what I suspected - that I am being a bit harsh.

I will talk to DH, but you're right, it's not worth having WW3 over.

And in five years time DS will probably insist we call him Buzz Lightyear or something anyway

We have an Aleksander too and while we mostly call him Alek, he also gets called AJ or Allie (as well as other pet names just by me and DP). He has no problems knowing they all refer to him - I'm sure he'll decide what he wants to be called later. BTW, I have several family members who get called one thing by the family and other names by friends - I think it's kind of nice.

Helly

My eldest, age 9, is Matilda. We always call her Matilda, or Tilda, but all her school friends call her Tilly. This annoys the hell out of me because we have baby Milly......so we have Tilly and Milly which sounds ridiculous but there's nothing I can do about it.......which is a roundabout way of saying, your DS will probagly get called all sorts of things, and will make up his own mind when he's older which he likes better

Yeah I am with the majaority here... go with the flow... if it irks you when out, & DH say's Xander, you could just pipe in with & I call hime Alex...

He will get used to both names soon.

My nicknames for my girls have changed over time anwyay.