We had our first baby 3 weeks ago... so far it's been a totally surreal and amazing journey.
I feel like life has so much more meaning now.
The problem is that I hear other people talk about loving their children with a depth of feeling they haven't experienced before, well, I love this baby totally, but I'm not overcome with emotion all the time. The reason this bothers me is that I am a very passionate person, so I guess I'd feel this depth that I hadn't experienced before (like other people say).
The truth is that I think that the reason for this is that I'm just too caught up in keeping her fed, burping, clean and hopefully asleep ;p to really have much time yet to really FEEL much. I did at first (the birth was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced.
I'm happier and feel more complete than I have ever felt though, so I don't know...
Do the bonds and feelings with your baby deepen and change?
I mean I love her a lot so I wouldn't think much of it if I just wasn't the sort of person to get all emotional, but i am...
Is there something wrong with me?

I would say no you are perfectly normal with perfectly normal reactions. I also loved Rebecca from the bottom of my heart from the moment she was born but it was not until around 4 weeks I think when I had gotten more used to it all that one day I looked at her and thought wow I just really really love you so much. So I was also one of these people where the real heavy bonding took longer. I think I was also (and still am) so busy feeding, burping, cleaning etc..

It will come.

DH 30
Me 29
DD Georgia Angel 7 days
DD2 Rebecca 25-5-2004

In the beginning when all the experience of birth wears off we become a mother!!! In a few weeks your baby will start to smile and make sounds at you. They are pretty boring before that - lol -. Not everyone gets that 'overwheling' feelings of love and bonds instantly with their new baby. You are very normal!!!

Wait for that first smile and you'll run for the camera, get it printed and cut it out so you can flip it out of your purse to bore the crap out of everyone!

Enjoy.

Cindy 31
Dean 25
Keyarna 9/9/96 Ronan 10/7/04

Hi - I think it took me a few months. (that makes me feel bad, but that is how it was) Even though she/he is your baby and a real life miracle, as you said you are completely consumed in all the things you need to do, and you really don't know this little person very well yet.

When our baby was about 5 weeks old she and I went to my parents house for a week without my husband. They live a few hours away from us and my husband couldn't come too and I REALLY needed some time out, some sleep and some TLC from mum. He coped quite OK. But now that she's 6 months old there is no way that he would let me take her away from him for that long. So although he thought she was wonderful and loved her from the start, that bond wasn't really very strong then.

So there is absolutely nothing wrong with you - you already sound a lot more passionate and emotional about your baby than I did after 3 weeks.

Congratulations - and enjoy.

Jane (28)
Jason (29)
Jasmine 22/2/04

There is absolutly nothing wrong with you I love my daughter to bits, have never been parted from her for more then a couple of hours and have more photos then I can poke a stick at. But do you know, I was never struck with an overwhelming moment of emotion....ever. I look at her when she is laughing or giggleing or sitting with a look of complete fasination at something and think that she is the most precious adorable thing but I have never really understood (and still dont) the whole bonding feeling. Sorry for the ramble but I think that the emotions we feel for our children are all individual so please try not to judge youself on others.

Sit back and enjoy the ride and congratulations on becomming a Mummy!


Cheers,

Lisa

Hi! Congratulations on the birth of your precious daughter. You sound as though you have so much love for her already!

I have only really 'bonded' with my DS within the last 4/5 weeks and it didn't really occur to me until someone pointed out that he is really recognising my face and voice (it also helped that they said 'Oh, you've bonded so well with your baby, he knows you so instantly').

Like you, I had so much love from the beginning (not to mention me being very emotional - even without the pregnancy/baby hormones running around inside me!)however I kept asking myself 'what else is going to happen?' hoping that I would have this huge overwhelming feeling. Well, I get it all the time now and can't stop myself from having a few tears as I watch him sleep.

Don't wait for it and get anxious, just do your best and before you know it, you'll be saying 'oh, thats what they are talking about!' **sigh**grin**

Rachel - 26
DH - 27
DS - 30/04/04 and oh so beautiful!!
<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://lilypie.com/baby1/050430/1/0/0/+10" alt="Lilypie Baby Days" border="0" /></a>

I can relate to how you are feeling & no, there is nothing wrong with you.

When Josh was born I loved him so much but not passionately like I heard others describe feelings for their babies.

For the first 3 weeks of his life I was so busy cleaning, making sure all his needs were met & finding my way as a Mother. I never took the time to sit & hold my new baby & get to know him.

It was when DH went back to work & I was with Josh the whole day alone that I totally fell in love with him. I had to slow down & concentrate only on him. Now I love him so much it hurts some times & now I feel exactly how those other Mothers described their feelings.



That was me to a tee but we overcame it (Josh & I). It may take time but one day it'll click, truly it will.

Take care,
Michelle





This message was edited by MichelleM on Saturday, 11 September 2004 @ 11:20 PM

noah is just past 6 months and its about now that i have those feelings you speak of.

Dont feel badly,you are definatly not the only one who has felt this way.

you will feel it and you will definatly know when you do.